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Sossy

November 10, 2011 @ (Austin, TX)

Tags: Soasy

We had been going together for more than a year, then he suddenly wasn't available & started cooling off, but wouldn't say why or discuss the relationship. Then he invited me to a party - I was thrilled; I figured it meant we were still a couple.

Turns out he'd found someone else, and I guess the party was his spineless way of breaking up. She was clearly there with him, hanging all over him while they danced, and major kissing when they weren't. I stayed long enough to get the picture, then left, devastated and embarrased, since I knew so many people there & they'd seen the whole thing. Is he a jerk? Of course!

But here's the dumb part - for the longest time, I'd still have taken him back! It takes ages to get over a relationship, especially when the break-up wasn't on your own timeline. Long after I'd moved on, the slime ball had the nerve to call me up to get back together. I listened to his schpiel, not saying much, then said, "Well - gotta run - I'm in another relationship. Great to hear from you!"

I know it doesn't feel like it in the immediate aftermath, but eventually, you do get over things, you move on, and amazingly, you're even able to give thanks that God protected you from being Mrs. Creep (or Mr. Slut, or whatever).

Raven

November 09, 2011 @ (Canada)

Tags: November 9/11

My ex-boyfriend and I where together for 2 1/2 yrs. Everything was great! We we're together all the time, except when we went to work. And still on breaks conversated. Great connection, conversation, companionship, we understood one another. Everyone told us how great we we're as a couple and could see our chemistry. Our loved continued to grow throughout the relationship. We we're bestfriends, soulmates and lover, everything you could ever image and fantasy about having in a relationship.
Last week we broke off. I believe that he's blowing the situation way out of proportion. Here's what happened: He was hanging out with he's friend and than called to see if it would be alright if his friend came over. Everything was cool. He told me he wanted to be closer to me. They arrived, I gave them some space. Their drinking and having a good time hanging out in the back yard, then they came in and It sounds like my guy is being a bully towards his friend, and a fight is about to pop off. So, I ended up going down stairs and his friend looks so sick, like he's dying. So, I bypass my boyfriend and asked his friend if he wants me to gave him a ride home, and I try to joke around and tell him a story that my guy did to me when we had a couple of drinks. Any way from there we had a little argurment. He left with his friend and came back and packed all of his stuff up. I told him he's blowing the whole thing way out of proportion.
I've apologized so much and even to he's friend, he's forgiven me, but he says that I've betrayed our relationship and put a pink elephant in room, when there shouldn't be one. He say he trust me because I never cheated or have done anything else. But he doesn't trust that I have the best judgement for what the relationship should be.
At this time frame he just wants to be friends and told me that I hurt him. I didn't knowly want to do that. I know he loves me the way that I love him. But it's hard to be just friends, when you want so much more. We still talk approx. 5hrs a day, but he chooses not to see me at this time frame. Somedays, I end up crying to him and he tells me that I shouldn't have done what I did. That make me feel even worst. Because I realize the error of my ways and I've lost my bestfriend. The situation is messed up.
A week prior to this arguement was my birthday and he surprized me with a ring and put it on one finger and than surprized me with another for the other hand. I know he's hurt and I'm hurt too. Just don't know what to do.

Anonymous

November 06, 2011 @ (NY)

Tags: Jail bait

My then boyfriend and I had been seriously together for almost 3 years. Everything was just fine. We were planning on moving in together, planning our 3 year anniversary trip to Miami and even, possibly, when the time was right we shared the similar ideas of marriage and starting a family. I basically lived my life for this person. We saw each other every day without fail because we live close together.

Until that fateful day when I received a phone call from him...He calls to tell me the he is in jail and needs $1500 bail money. I tell him that I don't have the kind of money and that he should contact his parents as a last resort. Meanwhile my mind is going crazy & I'm thinking to myself what he could have possibly done to land himself into this kind of predicament.

An hour later his dad gives me call and we both deicide to go to the jail and bail him out. One the way there we talk about all the possibilities of why he could be there. The only thing that could plausibly come across my mind was unpaid tickets in relations to his car. Well we get to jail and since there is only one person allowed in to bail him out, his dad goes in to retrieve him. Mind you we had gotten there at 7 p.m. and didn’t leave until 1 a.m.

When my then boyfriend decides to get into the car he tells me that he would rather talk to me one on one rather than his dad being around. This made me even more upset. I had waited several hours already and now he has the nerve to make me wait even more for an explanation!

So when we finally get to our destination he gives me this bogus story about how he had a relationship with a girl who had lied about her age, before I even came into existence and that she had been stalking him etc. etc. So he lied and said it was basically a case of fatal attraction.

The next day I think to myself “Why the hell would the cops go and pick him up, at his job!, on things that happened years ago?”
So I call his dad, because things just weren’t adding up and he tells me the dreadful news that this incident happened in September of this year! Keep in mind it was the last week of October I find out this news. Adding insult to injury he lied about the whole fatal attraction scenario!!

In actuality, my then boyfriend, who is 22, went on facebook, started communicating and sexting with a girl who he claimed told him she was 17 but she’s really 15. He told me he didn’t even have a facebook when he had one the whole entire relationship. They met up on what he says on one occasion in the parking lot of her school. There this 15 year old girl performs oral sex on him. Somehow, someway her parents find out about this and her dad is a cop. So now he’s is in a lot of trouble and must go to court for Lord knows how long it takes to settle his situation.

So now his face, name, and address is plastered all over the internet for anyone who looks his name up to see. That he sought out sexual relations with an underage girl and got caught!

There were warning signs that we would argue about consistently.
1. He was so defensive about his phone; he always hid it, and would go to the extremes to cover his tracks.
2. Every time he went on the internet he would delete the browsing history.
3. He wanted to get into shape and eat healthy all of a sudden, which was around the time he started talking to this girl.

WOW!! He is a pathological liar and continued to lie to me to keep me!! He didn’t even want me to go to his court date! Had I not found out the truth from his dad! He would have continued to lie to me!

I am a complete mess right now. I’m going through midterms and working. Things have just been absolutely rough! I have even contemplating taking him back. But I know that it is not an option! Even though I’m hurting for the moment, I need to move on with my life and let time be the best remedy.

Anonymous

November 04, 2011 @ (Nevada)

Tags: Sad

The break up was easy. It was the week before we broke up that broke me. He's my best friend...or at least he was. And I've known him for so long, I knew something was wrong. I could feel him slipping away, and then he began lying to me. I'm not sure why the lies started, I'm not really sure where we went wrong. But I confronted him, and told him how I felt. We talked on the phone and he said he was feeling weird, that he didn't know how to explain it, but he told me not to worry. "Hakuna Matata" That's what he always says when I look worried. But I knew he was gone, he didn't even tell me he loved me before we broke up. The next day I caught him in a lie, and he didn't talk to me until the day after. When he finally did I told him how shitty I felt, how hurt I was. Then he told me that the reason he thinks best friends work so well is because "Even if something happens, they can still be best friends" that same night he broke up with me. And here I am, a week later. And guess what? I lost my best friend.

Jess

November 03, 2011 @ (Tx)

Tags: Break up

We started talking after I got out of a really bad relationship. I had some work done to my vehicle so I could make a trip a few hours away to see friends I had been kept from during what seemed like the worst relationship ever. The guy working on my vehicle passed me his number and I was willing to get over my ex so bad that I took the chance with this one. Before we hooked up, I did my research and found out he was engaged. Though I didn't confront him immediately, I had planned to when we decided to see each other outside of his work. I met him at the place he was staying for some sexual tension release after a week of txting. That's when I confronted him about his fiancée. He told me that she hadn't been showing any interest in him and although I felt wrong for agreeing to have sex with him while he was engaged, I took pity. Before we had sex I asked "are you sure you want to do this?" And he said yes. After that, a week later or so he broke up with her and we started dating....
I should have know... it was wrong. They were high school sweethearts and I felt like I was a monster for stopping a love like that but I fell in love with him. I was more than a fool. I was the worst person in the world.
One night after he got out of work, I went over to his house. And broke up with him. This on and off relationship of three months of him going back and forth from me to her was pathetic. I told him me should go back to her.. and that it was stupid for him to be apart from her. They belonged.
I haven't gotten over him. I still love him with all of my heart. But I'm hoping I did the right thing. Even if it cost me my mind and my heart.

Kathy

November 01, 2011 @ (Texas)

Tags: Facebook

My girlfriend and I were together for a year. Things were great, we never fought could communicate, enjoyed the same things and just liked being together. We spent a week together everything was wonderful I was falling deeper and deeper in love. We talked about forever. It seemed like we both felt the same. I had to go away for a week on family business. I called her and texted her while I was gone told her I missed and loved her and for three days I got a response. On the fourth day I didn't hear from her and it went on like this until I got home. I signed onto facebook and her status was changed to single. I texted her and asked what was going on. She said it's over. No explAnation. I tried to call and text but she said to stop or she would change her number. I am devastated. She said she never loved me. I found out from a mutual friend that she had started talking to her ex while I was gone. I showed her all the time how much I loved her. I bought her a new car helped her with bills. I feel like such an idiot.

AC

October 25, 2011 @ (US)

Tags: indecisive, indecision, flip flop, back and forth

It is apparently over. It feels that way. I have not been able to say the words to her though I think my heart feels it is.

It isn't that I don't love her, its that I am so unsure of what I want for my life that my instincts (or my goddamn brain) won't let me find clarity. Maybe that means I don't love her...I dunno. Or maybe I don't need clarity and I'm just ignoring my instincts which say that this relationship can not work considering the re-evaluation I am undertaking.

I haven't been able to wholeheartedly agree on the direction she would like life to go in...it mostly the children issue. But its not because I'm so against it or worried she isn't good enough to build a life with. I just haven't found a way to say yes or no, to reconcile what I want with what she does so maybe the indecisiveness is my answer.

Even if it means that I change my mind a year from now, I think the answer is "no I can't be what you need and deserve right now." If that's the case and she has a clearer plan for her life, I should let her go so she can find it with someone else. It may be the worst decision of my life and I may regret it but I just can't see a way to put love, attention and energy into this relationship AND try to figure my own shit out.

Part of me feels plain dumb for not having figured myself out at 33, but part of me also doubts that every married with kids person really gave it all as much thought and followed their instincts either. It feels so odd to not inherently agree with the way society goes about relationships, marriage, kids and just maturing in general. Everyone feels like they are on auto-pilot with their life choices. Maybe I'm just trying to make myself feel better about my indecision.

I think in many ways my spirit is flawed, broken...but not irreparable. I will take the time to ask my heart what it really wants and I will keep asking until it responds....because it will. It wants me to be happy and maybe it doesn't even yet know what it wants but when it does, I will fight for it with all I can. I only have one known chance at living. I've got to try and live as best I can. I hate that I don't know that she could represent living life the best way I can, but if we are done and it was a mistake, it just feels like a mistake I have to make, otherwise I am doomed to create the same indecision and same mistakes time and time again.

Stephanie

October 25, 2011 @ (California)

Tags: Pain, Drifting apart

I met him just over 2 years ago, on my first day at a new high school. I was 15, and he was 16. He was amazing. He was literally my everything. I started failing all my classes, because I was so preoccupied with him. I was so insanely in love with him. Everything was perfect. We were perfect. For a year we were together. He was my best friend. We were so happy together, all the time. Everybody told us how perfect we were for each other. I gave him my virginity, and him me. He was the only person I'd ever loved. And then.. all the sudden things changed. Right around the one year mark, things started crashing down. We realized that soon, high school would be over for him, and he would be leaving. We talked about moving out together when I turned of age, but that brought up the issue of marriage. He didn't want to be married so soon, and he didn't want children. I didn't want to be married then either, but in the future, I did. I also wanted children.. After that, things stopped being amazing. We stopped talking to each other. I mean, we still talked daily, but we never said what needed to be said. After a month of being together simply because it was the easiest option, I ended it. Today, actually. I still love him, with all my heart, but things changed, we both became two completely different people along the way.. Somewhere in the mess off it all I realized that maybe the point in me loving him wasn't for us to be together forever.. Maybe it was to teach me that somethings just aren't meant to be, no matter how much you try and force it.

Talkingator

October 24, 2011 @ (California)

Tags: 1

I met the love of my life 6 years ago, the most perfect guy. We both had gone through a break up so we used to talk everyday, eventually we started dating. We had 6 years of the most perfect relationship, never fought only grew into mature people together. We were always there for each other, even spent a majority of our relationship on two different continents. We come from two different cultures and I guess that was a difference which was minor to us because a big issue for his family. His parents esp his mom wanted me to change in many ways I couldn't and so she pretty much emotionally blackmailed him into marrying a very traditional girl. I'm so heart broken i'm not mad at him because I know first hand how controlling and abusive his mother is. I feel sad for him and I feel sad that two people who are so perfect for each other who brought out the best in each other can't be togeher. I know I have a long road ahead of me, but all i want is just to see him again to be in his arms. I miss the comfort of being in a relationship. I miss my best friend. May he be happy always.

Just The Way You Are

October 11, 2011 @ (CA)

Tags: Example i

It's not really a break up, Im just in desperate need for advice. It all started October last year. I was staying at one of my mums friends houses and her son and I only knew eachother because of our parents work together. He is 17 and a highschool dropout. I'm 15 and still currently doing my studies. That night he went out with a couple of mates. For some peculiar reason I asked him to wake me when he got home. When he did he woke me and we spooned on his bed talking about whatever came to mind. He was so sweet, a side I've never seen from him before. After that experience we never really spoke again. Until about a week ago when I foundmyself in the same position. This time it got sexual. Only he was to big for me, so we didn't end up having sex. He was the first person id engaged with in doing stuff like that. I wasn't his first though. It was kinda strange. I felt so comfortable around him, I could be myself and not be self conscious like I normally am around others, and all my previous boyfriends. After that night we didn't speak again until two nights ago. I layer with him and drew circles on his leg, it was tickling him, and he was so cute. Just before we fell asleep he grabbed my hand and placed it on his crouch. After that he didnt speak to me ever again. I think I've fallen for him, but I can't help to think that he is just in it for the fun and the sexual side of things. I don't think he admires me as a person.he only admires what I can do with my hands. But his the type of person that if he did have feelings for me, he'd never let me know. His quite a big build. But I really want him to know that I love him for who he is, not what he looks like , or what he has achieved. I love him for him. As simple as it gets. His friends are complete drop kicks. And he values what they think. I have a feeling that's why his holding back. I don't know what to do, and advice would be great?! Thanks xo