Lynn

January 15, 2012 @ (my house )

Tags: break up

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I dont get love at all. This is for the girls, Do you ever feel like when you have the guy that you want you dont want them cuz you know you can have them? but when you lose them you want them so bad? This has to do with my break up. I would talk to so many different guys and my boyfriend asked me not to so i stoped then i started again. Then he was showing how it felt well i over reacted and we broke up then got together. A week after that we broke up then got together same thing happened over and over. Well not it has been 1 year that we have been together but last night he told me he wants a 4 sum with me my friend and my cousin now is that not messed up now how am i suppost to stay with him when he said this i love him but i can do this shit anymore :( plz plz help me out ppl

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jesse

January 19, 2012

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if your serious, drop him.obviously its all just a game to him..i have dated alot of guys and if i havnt learned this yet then i guess im not the legend i want to be.l/esson: guys all have a dush bags hidden somewhere. personally, 4sums can be fun but not with my boyfriend i think id fart on his head or throw a punch lol if he ever asked me to have a 4 sum with him, my cousin, and my friend.. hes supposed to be mine..well yours-uh you know what i mean lol and you shouldnt share him WITH ANYONE!!!!!-sorry that was for my ex..ok and back to you-um if this is what you are to him-a 4sum buddy than hes not the guy you want to be in a relationship with.its easy to give advise but taking it is really hard. i went on the bumpy road to learning the things i know now but dont regret any of it- cuz you know. i wouldnt be the person i am today blahblah stuff.but if your willing to make that same sacrifice i suggest you go for it. you never get the whole experience without going through it all yourself. hope for the best;)

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John

January 19, 2012

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Many times in life things happen and we dont know why, or in my case I ask God why he showed me the things he did. I will never know bec. it really messed me up but. I learned from it and while I am scared to trust another girl just as you a guy sometimes you just have to take a leap of faith. Main thing is take your time. : ) Again not trying to be mean here and some would say its Karma. (which I dont believe in) but use this as a way to open your eyes so you can be more careful and better when going about it the next time. If he truly loves you sex shouldnt matter. Told my ex one time I dont care if you came to me tomorrow and said you could never have sex. As long as I am with you, thats all I ever wanted.

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John

January 19, 2012

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Dont eat lol. I gained 35 lbs and now am trying to lose them. maybe more bec I just stopped caring.You say you dont want to get hurt and im not trying to be mean but did you ever think of the guys you might be hurting? This is the problem I see everyday. People do it just to do it. No commitment etc. Then why bother in the first place. They become nothing more than animals with little respect for themselves. Maybe instead of looking for a sex buddy or friend with benefits. You say you are scared of it. But dont use that as an excuse to hurt someone including yourself. Maybe you should focus on the relationship rather than the sex and get to know a person a lot longer. I know its hard but thats what its all about. Sure sex is great, makes us feel great, even loved but its not real love. that has to come before all the other stuff for without it no relationship will last. If it makes you feel any better I blamed myself for not being able to help her get over herself and her sex addiction. I assumed it was me being inadequate in many areas. Some of it was true and I had to do a lot of self reflecting to discover my weaknesses and improve them. I have been trying to rebuild my confidence every day where she blew it out of the water several times. Its not easy and it sucks not having someone to hold. again but that is time to make yourself better. I wouldnt do what most ppl told me. Oh focus on yourself etc. you do that already but what I found most helped me was helping other people like this or going out and helping them. Paid for a couples lunch without them knowing it was me. Do things for others not to make yourself feel better but just to do them to help someone. Volunteer.

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lynn

January 19, 2012

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I have never looked at it that way every. I was his 1st sex person. And he was my 3rd. I was in alot of relationships. I dont like to stay with one person to long becuz i am scared that i will get hurt so i leave before they can but this time i stayed with this guy hoping i could get over it. He likes to be sexually. But sex is getting boring for me. I know he loved me but now i dont really know :( I feel like i did something wrong. :( i need something to make me happy ice cream and chocolate aint doing anything anymore :(

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John

January 19, 2012

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Can I tell you something. We all have those what if questions. Especially if there is a break up, like what if I did this differently, what if I was better in bed, what if I acted like my normal self, etc. Self doubts do nothing for us except drive ourselves nuts. Go to the browse tab then click on popular. click on the third link down on John L. thats my story. I wondered that bec the guy she went to had more sexual experience. But apparently I was the best out of 4 guys for oral haha. The fact is Love is not about the sex. While that is a part of it, it's not what a real relationship is based off of. I was trying to get my ex to have less sex bec she was addicted to it. The more you do it, the more boring the usual stuff gets. She wanted me to slam her up against a wall, tie her up, slap her in the face, etc. I was like wait a min, I am not into that or ready for that. I was learning everything for the first time.

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lynn

January 18, 2012

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Thank you John for telling me this. I dont understand why he wanted to. I have done everything and anything I could to help out our sex life I even stepped up my game just so that he and I could be happy. Then out of no where he wants a 3 sum. I am still wondering if I wasnt that good.

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John

January 17, 2012

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Dont do this. He is using it as an excuse to have sex and fulfill one of his own personal fantasies. My ex wanted a threesome with another girl. I said no and while its kind of a fantasy, I didn't want anyone else because I loved her and only her. If your bf can't see that and want only you then who is to say he will stay with you later. Please listen to what I am saying. Dont let him pressure you. It's not worth losing a part of yourself despite what people say about it just being for fun or what not. You are better than this and if your gut is raising the red flags get away from him.

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