Dear Mike, Since you refuse to take my calls and you have blocked my email, I am left with no options but this. I know you will read this, because you chose to end our relationship on this site and I know you enjoy reading these things. First, I was devastated when you disappeared on Christmas Eve, so much so I had a spontaneous miscarriage. I'm sorry I didn't tell you before. I was going to tell you everything on Christmas morning, sort of your present from me. Mike, my dearest love, the reason I had been eating so much, and gaining weight was because I was pregnant with our child. When we were in Milan, I hadn't taken my birth control for a while. That was on purpose. After out fight in August about having kids, I really thought about it, and I decided to make some changes in my life. I wanted to show you I was committed to you, so I made the decision to get pregnant. (That is why those sheets were special to me. Our baby was conceived on them.) I'm so sorry that I just didn't tell you sooner, but I wanted to be sure I could carry it to term. Mike, I was so scared about bringing a child into this messed up world. When I lost my parents at 6 years old, I promised I would never make my children grow up the way I did. That is why I told you I never wanted to have a child. Mike, I'm sorry, I was afraid I would fail as a parent. And now, I'm sorry, I have done exactly that. Mike, they did all they could, but she was just too early. She lived for a few minutes, just long enough for me to hold her. Mike, she was so beautiful. She had your nose. I could see both of us in her tiny face. I named her Sarah Rose, after your G-Mom.
Mike, please forgive me for not telling you everything sooner. I did so want to make this Christmas a new beginning for us. I had already told Max, I was quitting after the new year. That is why I was pushing Tiffany so hard; she was to take my place when I left the company. Please tell her to call Max, the job is still hers.
Mike, I just wanted you to know, you are and will always be my forever love. I never wanted anything in this world but to make you happy. I realize now I have failed at that too.
You asked for a present for Tiff's and your child. So here it is. I've left everything to you, the house in Tahoe will be paid off, and everything else is here in Scottsdale. I've signed everything into your name. I've always known I never "fit" in this world, and now that you are gone, I see no reason to continue this charade. I wish all three of you all the happiness possible.
Please go to the bird lady's house and get Pete and Polly. I told her they now belong to you. I am going now to be with our little girl. Maybe, if there really is a heaven, we will all be together some day. Until then, I will always be loving you and looking over you. My dearest love, farewell.
Tags: Cameron Cuny
Let's see. It's December... 6months ago.
I was dating this doucher, and I met someone online.He was, perfect? No, perfect is an under-state-ment. Anywys, we fell in love. We both did, instantly.
God, I'm getting flash backs; we celebrated Fourth of July together. July 3rd we met and fell inlove, and became the greatest relationship ever. Hours and Hours on the phone, everynight. Webcams, phones, Im's. But, everyone was right.. Long distance doesn't work.
Anyways... We were amazing, but we only lasted a short time. I remember the breakup so vividly. I was high off of life, hanging out with my best friend, walking home, and as I passed the alleyway across the way from my alley, I got a phone call from my baby. I remember him talking to his buddy breifly, and then getting serious. He just explained to me that it wasn't working. He then asked, if I was alright, and with tears in my eyes, I replied yes. He told me if I needed to cry I could.
Oh I needed to cry alright. But I told him I didn't want him to have to hear it for, I didn't want him to feel bad. I told him I had to go...
My friend Devin was concerned.
I turned around, facing away from her, and cried, silent at first.
I tried to walk, i was so shaken, I couldn't walk, so I stumbled and fell. I sat against the wall, and Devin rushed over. I just started to scream. I couldn't breath, and I was screaming. Devin helped me up while I was still bawling, and she hugged me. I was so crushed. It felt as if he took a kife, rammed it into my heart, and then twisted the blade. After about an hour, I regained enough of my composure to get home..
As sooon as I was in my room, I began to cry again. I turned up my music and cried. After like... roughly 3 hours, Devin went home. I never stopped crying.
I did something I have never done before too.
I became numb. I was in such denial. It was so not over.
I couldn't even feel my heartbeat anymore, and pathetically, I cut myslef. I didn't want to die, I was making sure I was still alive.
He called me. I swear, I just sat there, with the phone muted, crying, screaming, not breathing. he was apologizing. Which broke my heart even more, causing me more pain.
This was the first guy, the first person I have ever felt love for, and he does this too mee? I would tell everyone exactly why he broke up with me, stupid reson, but I don't want to be mean. Why would anyone do this to me? My first real true heart break.. and it still haunts me. 6 MONTHS LATER! Why?
I have cried so many times, just at random, and if any of my friends even say his name, itnsta-cry. Little things remind me of him. Especially the song, It's Not Over- Second HandSerenade. I have listened to it atleast 100 times in the last couple hours. It's 3:46 in the morning.. I have officially been crying for 3 hours. Yay. what an accomplishment. Are you happy Cameron? Knowing that the fucking thought of you makes me cry. And when i do cry, I can't breath. I put myself through hell, for you. And what's even worse... I still love you.
-Brandee.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wZmvJknzLfU&feature=related
Tags: example 3
ok so me and my boyfriend were dating for a year 4 months.we were completely in love with each other for a year..then things were getting weird so we broke up,we then decided that we couldnt live without each other and got back together.we broke up and got back together about 3 times in 4 months.well we had a christmas dance the day after his birthday.things were going pretty good we had our little fights but what relationship doesnt? so the day of his birthday he we probably hungout for an hour.he said that he had things to do like go chritmas shopping and go out to eat with his family....i wasnt invited.oh and christmas was 4 weeks away.seemed a little fishy.so the next day, the morning of our dance, he decided that he didnt want to go with me.i was so confused and ddnt really understand why.but we ended up going.we had a lot of fun at dinner but he was being awkward at the dance...that night my mom had decided that she didnt want me to be with him.so she made us breakup.it was terrible...but we still talked at school (the breakup happened on sunday) on monday he told me that he loved me and that he still wanted to be with me and i told him my feelings were mutual. well on tuesday he was all over this girl and they were holding hands at school all day...i go home to find a facebook message saying that he oesnt want anything to do with me and that he hopes it will work out in the end.i was doing good for two weeks.i was hanging out with another guy and didnt really think about my ex.well i just recently broke down.every song i heard remindedme of him...i read all the notes and messages we sent each other.we were in sooo much love with each other.he screwed me over so bad and i dont know how to get over him.i miss him so much and i still love him but i dont want to.he has been such a jerk to me and he hates me.help! i need advice...please help.
Tags: work
well me and my boyfriend were together about a year and two months. we had talked all summer about going out and when we finally did we hit it off great. i was 17 when we started and he was 18 i know were young. we were together all the time and he started to tell me how much he loved me and cared about me everyday and we became eachotthers first love, and other things if know what i mean. we even went outta of state with eachother to meet the rest of our families. soon into the relationship he asked me to marry him even though i know we're young i felt and seen other young couples make it and grow old together so i said yes. it took me a while to see if i truly loved him or was attached but i ignored it. we then started to fight alot throughout our relationship but always made up and had really good moments. he wasnt just my boyfriend he was like my bestfriend i could tell him anything he was even there for me in my hardtimes. one day i realized if we wanted to get married we had to do something with our life and not just be supported by love so i suggested for me to go to the army which i wanted to do before him and he agreed happily and we were then going to get married after boot camp. as the time got closer for me to leave, his family and friends started to tell him i was gonna end up finding someone else in there but i gave him my word. The time got closer for me to leave and we started to get distant and hung out less and less and i started to stress till one day we got into a huge fight where it got physical just a shove nothing big and i told him i dont think i can do this anymore im tired of the fighting but he told me he still loved me and wanted to be with me so we made up of course and silly me i stayed, funny how around this time hes been hanging out with one of his guys friends and he brought a female over. a week goes by and he starts to act strange more distant, but i ignored and i realized that i do love him and dont wanna lose him. he then stops talking to me for week in a half and i receive a phone call that we should date other ppl because he found someone else and they liked eachother after such a short period of time. i asked him if he loved me and he said yes but we needed to be seperated or take a break, so then it hit me and i asked him that he was basically saying he loved me but wasnt in love with me no more and he said yes, i felt crushed i felt like everything we been through was just a lie. he did this to me a couple weeks before i ship out. his excuse is he didn't want to cheat on me while i was gone, he wasnt saying that months before this he kept telling me i better not leave him. so eventhough im very hurt i know i need to move on, but his friend then asks me if i ever cheated on my ex after this whole breakup, (definetly not, and none of his business) his mother then calls me and tells me that he says does miss me and if he should just let me go since im leaving...HE ALREADY LET ME GOO!! he also has to correct himself because he still accidently says my name. after all this im very confused and hurt and hopes karma comes. i do still wanna believe he still loves but since he did all this it hurts, because i never thought he would do something so low, after how much he would tell me how much he loved me and how could he get involved in another relationship so fast.
Alright, so I met this girl online 9 months ago and pretty much immediately fell in love. Pretty much right after, she said she was 14 ... I'm 19. I worked up the courage to talk to her dad, and he then called my mom. Just last night she tells me "I want to be 14.", even though I told her dozens of times she should do what people her age do, as well as stay out of a committed relationship. So basically, I'm left broken hearted. Yes, the 19 year old. Not the 14 year old. You may find me to be a sick pervert, but for what it's worth, she didn't look, act, or talk like a 14 year old. So yeah. She claims she just wants to take a break, but I know we're never going to talk again. It fucking stings.
Tags: 2
My situation is unique for why i have such a shattered heart.... i was with my boyfriend for 6 months...i know its not that long but i loved him more than anything he was my best friend and i trusted him...and he got me pregnant....When i first told him the news he was excited and wanted me to keep the baby. Even though we're both really young and I myself am not ready to be a mother. But because i loved him and i wanted to be with im forever i thought maybe we could make this work. Then the next day he broke up with me through a text messege while i was at work. You can imagine how hurt i was. I couldnt even work the rest of that day because i was soooo hurt and confused. You're probably thinking that hes just an immature 21 year old and yes that is true but i cant shake the horrible heart breaking feeling over this. He will not give me an explination of any sort. He wont talk to me at all.
That's not even the worst part. I found out a week later he has a new girlfriend who has a baby. He is posting facebook status' that say how much he cant stop thinking about his "wife" and "baby" and he is as happy as he has ever been in his life. I know now that i shouldnt have looked at his facebook, and after reading that i promised myself i will NEVER look at it again. Its unbelievably heart breaking to know that he left me to be with that girl who has baby. I felt i had no other choice but to get an abortion. I dont want to be a single mother at this age. I dont think i could do it alone. I am so confused because i dont know what i would have done for him to leave me like that. I dont understand why he would want me to keep our baby then throw me away like trash and then run off with that other girl. He's rubbing my nose in it with those facebook posts. The pain i feel with this is excruciating. While im here miserablely heart broken wondering what i had done wrong he is out there with his new girlfriend he calls his "wife" and hes being a father to her baby. Also that girl he is with changed her last name on facebook to his last name, as if they were married. It is absolutly rediculous because i almost feel like he is doing all of this on purpose to get at me, but i also think maybe is real between them and they really do want to be married after only knowing eachother one week. Well for all i know they could have been going out when me and him were together, but i try not to think of it that way. I do have to mention that he didnt help pay for the abortion after i asked him to. He completely ignored me. So i have talked with his mother about my situation. She is on my side with this which is somewhat comforting but doesnt change what happend...
I dont know what i should do to work past this. I cant stop thinking about it. I have had past relationships and i thought i've been heartbroken before but nothing like this. This is pain i have never felt before and its horrible. I want answers. Everyone says I am young and ill move on and forget about all this over time. I just keep waiting around because maybe he will give me a explination for all of this. I NEVER saw this coming. Me and im were happy together and we also seen eachother every day so what happend makes no sense to me at all. I can imagine he met her one day and then BAM desided to get "married" and be a happy family. It's confusing and i dont understand.
Tags: depression, self-esteem
I had this friend that was going through some stuff just like I was. Both him and I were very depressed and so we started talking with one another. One thing after another, we ended up dating.
He lived in another city, so we couldn't see each other much but we talked/emailed each other nonstop everyday. We both thought things were pretty serious. On our official first date, he told me that he loved me and we had our very first kiss. And of course, this is lame but I had felt something when he kissed me. The very next day, he told me on the phone that we had to breakup. His mother told him to not date me for my good. She was afraid that he'd hurt me. I was really torn and depressed but we continued being friends but "with benefits." So it basically still felt like we were still dating. We'd still talk on the phone whenever we could and he'd always tell me that he loves me and other romantic things.
........But then I find out ONLINE that he started going out with this girl WHILE he was still talking with me and saying all that sweet stuff. And to add to it, I found out two WEEKS after they were dating. I was so pissed off and torn that I yelled at him to never talk to me. AND he had the nerve to say that he'd breakup with her if I wanted him to. I didn't want to hurt the other girl and so I told him to do whatever he wanted. He broke up with her and I added her as a friend on ----------. She blabbed out everything to me and said that they were true loves and etc. Then she had the nerve to say that he never liked me in the first place and that he was just thinking that he had feelings for me but in reality, he was madly in love with her.
Things got worse when I wanted to get the truth from him but I couldn't get into contact with him at all. But luckily, I was best friends with his sister and she told me about some things that he told her when he was dating me. He didn't feel anything when we kissed and he felt like he was pressured into saying that he loves me. She did me a favor and did a 3-way phone call and I listened into their conversation. I know it was wrong to do so but it cleared everything up. I heard him say that I reminded him of her ex from 3 years ago and so thats why he dated me. I became depressed and sad from that point on.
There were moments where I thought to myself that I should hate him for everything but I couldn't bring myself to do that. I blamed myself for it. I blamed myself for not noticing that he cut the time we usually talk together down. I blamed myself and said to myself that I deserved it. Even now, I think how could a plain girl like me ever get a guy like him to like me....I eventually gave up and now I don't enjoy everyday life and feel like I have to drag myself to make it through the day...
Tags: any advice...
Ihave dated someone for 9 months. He proposed me and even asked my family for permission to get married...
Then it wasnt going anywhere, I wanted to talk about the future, he didnt, was always too tired or any other excuses... Then things became very violent, from his side and mine. We both have bad temper, but we both got worse. I asked him to go and talk to someone, somewhere, so we could sort ourselves out. I do love him... but then he's got a depression, I think it's a lot worse than he wants to admit... and he promised me he was gonna stop smoking marihuana, which turns him into a different person (in a bad way) and makes him very angry and irritable and I think has to do with his depression too... so, he smoked again, inspite of the fact he's on anti-depresants and we argued because of that and his mood swings, his behaviour and all that...... he kicked me out the house, i cried my eyes out. I am in a foreign country with no friends or relatives, so you figure out the rest of the story. I am destroyed, confused, crushed, feeling guilty, lonely and cold. Thinking, I could have done better than getting angry... but then we've been together for 9 months and always argued about his smoking habit..... relations are problematic enough to be adding a drug addition weight on top of all... I even bought tickets to leave the country for Christmas with him.......he doesnt realise how much smoking his thing makes us argue and puts pressure on us....... then he thinks I am yelling because I am a bitch with no other reason but nagging; and I cant put up with the fact that it's always his house and he can kick me out of it when he feels like it; that i always gotta give in if I want things to go smooth, otherwise, we argue....
I wish I had never met him, so I wouldnt be in this position now. I'm 30 and feel terribly sad and lonely, with no friends, family or place to go. I can't talk to anyone, cuz I dont have friends in here really, so I am writing this here, so I can get it out of my chest... I love him so much but I dont even think he realises how much it takes for someone to have the courage to come after the one you love in a foreign land... next time, I'll be more selfish and think more about me...
I feel left alone, sad, disappointed, heartbroken!!!!!!!!!! I thought he was the 1 and I adore him. It just that I dont know what else to do!!!! It's like a battle I cant never win and if he doesnt want to help himself and us, then there's no point in me trying to get this right... but it hurts so much!!! I was gonna spend the rest of my life with him!!! I even thought I could jump out of a building and end this!!!! .... I am just so sad...
Any advice???
Tags: tragedy
So there was this guy that I met at 15 when I moved to my new school. He was 16 and I remember when we first met, I felt electricity and I couldn't take my eyes off him...how cheesy is that? Ever since then we've never been able to completely be away from each other and for a while he was all I had. We've never been officially a couple due to a few problems. One, we fight like cats and dogs. In the beginning I held back and whenever he would say hurtful things I would try to avoid him but then he would just get mad and say that I was running away. That didn't last because eventually I got tired of taking his shit, and that's when the fights really started picking up. He lies, he tries to make things seem as if they're my fault, and frankly he is the biggest asshole I've ever met.
Here's where it gets even crazier we would stop talking for a month after the fights and then he would come back and we would start it up all over again. As we got older though, there were a few things that were brought to my attention. Any time I made a new friend at school, if he knew them, he would tell me not to be friends with them. Turns out, he has tried to sabotage 90% of the friendships I made, as if he was trying to keep me isolated. If I had even thought about dating another guy, he would get pissed but if he dated someone else then I'm bitter. I even remember on one of his drunken nights, he called me and told me that as much as he hated me, he wanted to be with me.
I knew that a lot of our pent up frustration was partially due to the fact that we didn't have sex. So, in the year that I turned 18 we had sex. It was pretty amazing and it actually helped. But of course, it didn't last..Skipping on threw, I went to college and he doesn't go to college so we stopped speaking b/c of another girl and when she broke up with him, he came to me. Btw that's what he does, whenever a girl hurts him, he finds me. So he started talking to me more, and he gained my trust again and when I went home for spring break we met on a car port surrounded by buildings, beautiful and romantic lol. And summer came around and we were having frustration fussing so we had sex. That's when everything became functional, until he got worried that I was pregnant. We don't use condoms and I'm not on the pill, DUMB. Thank god, I wasn't pregnant and so I went back to school. We kept in touch regularly until october and I hadn't heard from him until this morning. We had a small fight and he said that he misses me but I need to grow up and that we could talk when I learn how! Rude much, so I called him a dumb unnecessary bitch and blocked him. I'm not dumb, I go home in two weeks, so he's trying to fix his shit before i come home. So I know he'll contact me. that's pretty much why I blocked him so he'll have no choice but to text or call me. In the beginning this chaos was fun, but now that I'm older I just want stability. This was the first real fight we've had in a year so things have been getting better. But I just can't get passed that he hasn't even tried to talk to me for more than a month. I love him so much it hurts. I've loved him even before he took my virginity. He truly is the man I want to be with for the rest of my life. But people in hell want ice water. He can't let me go, and I can't let him go either. He has a few issues. He's had a pretty rough life, and I'm the only girl who has stayed and that scares him. Guys I've spoked to about this have told me, that I'm the one who could truly destroy him. He himself has told me that I have more power over him than I realize. Even when we have sex, it's not mindless fucking, it's quite emotional and he's the one that wants to be gentle with me while I want to get a little wild lol. He wanted me to stay in atlanta for school, and frankly I think that's what I should have done. There is another guy and there is another girl but unfortunately they're now part of a list of people that are for the purpose of taking our minds off of the other. They've been caught up in the tragedy of me and dylan. I just hope we learn to really love each other before we destroy each other.
Tags: example1
6 yrs ago I started dating one of my best guy friends itswas the best of both worlds for me and him we fell in true love for each other there was so much passion in our relationship very steamy!! We datedfor about three years we were young I was eighteen in a very serious relationship I was ready to make him it my world... we had our fights n ill admitt I used to take them to anotheer level I just never felt that much for someone!! I know he would say it to...he left me for another girl....who had nothing on me she literally looked like a hooker but anyway left me n told me I'm the girl he wants to marry and well meet back up but were too young too serious.. I was heartbroken I didn't kno what to do but to fight to save our love and it didn't work it pushed him further... now that was four years ago and I still think of him everyday I miss him sooo much I can't even put it in words...a yr after we broke up I meet someone moved in had a baby who is almost two!! But I can't get him outa my mind/heart I still see him here and there and when were in the room together we vibe and it feels like it used to before we dated. But when people are around he's shy he only looks at me for two seconds to say hi and bye what do u people think I kno he still loves me I can tell but does it look like ill be with the love of my life again??
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