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Heartbroken Girl

January 15, 2012 @ (Austria)

Well, here's my story..
About 2 weeks ago, my boyfriend broke up with me. To be honest, he has been breaking up with me for the past 2 years. Basically, the first year was more than just perfect. It was more I thought possible! I loved him so much, I would have done anything for me and I knew he felt the same way about me.

So after a year, he broke up with me for the first time. I probably did the worst thing possible after that: I begged him to stay with me and tried to convince him for an hour to give us another chance - which he did eventually.
The weird thing was, that in those next few days, he would be everything I wanted. Kind, sweet, caring, telling me how much he loved me and that he couldn't imagine living a life without me.

This lasted for about 2 months when he broke up with me again. I didn't beg him to stay with me anymore, but after some days he came back, telling me how sorry he was and that he badly wanted us to be together again - I went back.
You see the pattern there, I guess..

So, that's how it would be: breakin up, getting back together, being completely in love again, breaking up..
After 2 years, I wasn't myself anymore. My life revolved around him, he was the center of my universe and that's when I completely lost myself.. I was trying to be the perfect girlfriend, to never make him angry, to always do what he wanted me to do, but it didn't matter. No matter what I did, he would still breake up with me after telling me the day before that I was everything he wanted.

I was confused, devastated, hurt. So, about half a year ago, after one of his breakups I knew, I couldn't take it anymore. I even had to get professional help and take antidepressants to get through the day. It was the hardest time of my life and there were times, were I didn't just want to die (which I did daily), but when I thought I actually would because of the pain.
The only thing that helped me was knowing that he didn't have anyone else and I tried to tell myself he would come back eventually. After some time, I even thought, I had found myself again and I didn't need him anymore.

So, 3 months ago, he texted me, saying how much he wanted me and another chance with me. When he came over, I knew I never stopped loving him, but at least I was able to keep control of myself. He noticed of course, that I had changed and he was everything I always wanted him to be. He even was full of doubts, saying how scared he was, that I wouldn't want him anymore and that he was so sorry for what he had done and that he had the feeling that everything was better now.
I really thought, he had a wakeup call and that he finally knew, he didn't want to be without me. Everytime I went out with my friends, he was so scared that I would meet someone else that I even felt sorry for him, because I really didn't want him to feel bad. So I would always say the sweetest things, when he called or texted me, because I wanted his doubts to go away - while I was out, supposed to be having fun. I liked doing it though, because it showed me, he cared!

We didn't see each other that often during the last 3 months, because we both had a lot of work to do and we wanted to take things slow. We didn't spend christmas and new year's eve together because he was visiting his family. I really missed him and he also always said how much he was looking forward to seeing me again. I believed him.
On new year's eve, while I was out celebrating, he kept texting me, calling me, saying that he was so scared I would do anything stupid and that he wanted to remind me how happy he was to be seeing me the next day.

So, when he came to visit me, he was kind and sweet and he stayed over. The next day, after sleeping with me once more of course, he broke up with me.. For the last time now, because a few days ago I found out he was already in a relationship with another woman..
After ONE week..

How come, I am so easy to forget? That he's living his life with someone else, happy, while I don't even know how to get up in the morning?
Everyone keeps telling me, that I would get over him eventually and that I'm oh so young (20) so of course I would fall in love again - and maybe they are right!

But... I know that there are people out there, never able to let go, who always find themselves hurt and miserable again, everytime they see that person.
I don't want to end up like that, I don't, but what if I'm one of those people? What if everytime I'm going to see him alone or with his new girlfriend, my hearts just breaks all over again?
How do I know that I'll be able to let go?

It felt good to get this of my chest..
With all my love,

a heartbroken girl

Anony-mous

January 09, 2012 @ (la)

Tags: trust, heartbreak

i've been with a girl for about 1.5 years. i met her in nyc. i'm originally from the west coast, but i moved to the city 2 years ago. anyway, throughout our entire time together, it felt like a never-ending "honeymoon phase". we were passionately in love with each other, and extremely affectionate. i moved in with her a year ago because i lost my job. she was kind enough to open her home to me. she's been nothing but amazing. her family loves me. she loves me. we had plans for the future, even plans of marriage.

though, at this moment, i am currently in la (for a short vacation) and she's in nyc. she broke up with me on the phone this morning because i'm too insecure. i have trust issues (that i am working on) and she's just tired. she's giving up on this relationship because she's tired of my lack of trust. that, i understand. but i'm confused because it was so sudden.

i think it's serious this time. we had a joint bank account for our apartment savings, and she removed her share of the money. now it's almost half-empty.

but, i'm flying back to nyc tomorrow morning. i thought about not flying back at all to avoid seeing her (just because it will be too hard), but i can't not show up for work. i at least have to put in my two weeks and get the rest of my stuff at her place. i also have unfinished business in nyc that can't be left neglected.
i also need more closure than this. i've been crying constantly all day. i've been going into my car and crying hysterically so no one would hear me. i am going through so much pain because i'm starting to believe that this is really IT. she's been the most amazing girlfriend to me, so supportive, faithful, genuine, and perfect. her imperfections are perfect to me.
i hope this was out of anger. and that she didn't mean it. otherwise, i'm on a one-way flight back to los angeles with a broken heart and a broken dream.

Anon

January 08, 2012 @ (USA )

Tags: Cheating, first love,

We started dating my freshmen year of high school. I thot he was so cute but my friend was talking with him. I was very jealous and I eventually told him I liked him an he admitted he was only talking to my friend to get closer to me. He was 16, popular, and everyone loved him. A few days after us talking I gave him my virginity and he told me he loved me. I told him so did I. We had sex again 2 days later and he asked me to be his girlfriend. Of course I said yes! Our relationship was so playful, we were best friends and lovers at the same time. We were very passionate to be so young but nothing could separate us. About a month into our relationship I started hearing things about him cheating on me, I was devastated. I demanded he give me his Facebook password as I was out of town at the time and couldn't look through his fone or anything. And to my astonishment he had msgd girls on there then thought he had deleted the msgs but I found all of them. I forgave him tho after a big fight and many tears cause in fact I loved him and he was my first. A few months later down the road I had still found out he had cheated on me random times by making out with other girls and I heard he had sex with two of his older brothers girlfriends but it was never proven so I still don't know if that was true. But me and him were closer than anyone . I had given him everything Nd totally devoted my life to him. He seemed to truleylove me he just had commitment problems as his dad had cheated on his mom, it ran in the family. He proposed to me (silly I know, we were so young, but at this time he was 17) I said yes and we just kept it to ourselves and only told close friends. Around the time we had been dating for 6 months I had a pregnancy scare and had to take the plan B pill. This shook things up and made us think about if we really wanted to be together forever. We decided we did and our relationship just got stronger. We had dropped nearly all our friends and it was always me and him. He still continued to cheat wich really really killed me but I pretended to believe him when he denied it and promised he would never do that to me again like he did before so I didn't lose him. Nearing our 8th month together I went to California for a couple of weeks to visit relatives and go to the beach. We talked constantly when I was fone and it hurt us to be away from each other so long . He would call me every night and cry and tell me how much he loved andissed me and that he wanted us to try and have a baby when I got back, I thought about it and considered Then changed my mind. I wanted to wait. He reluctantly agreed and when I got back in town we were together 24/7 . I was looking thru his fine and found pictures on his email of naked girls and he had sent them pictures of his dick!! I was so angry I screamed and said it was the last time I would deal with this and I was done with him and we were Ina parking lot and causing such a scene the cops got called. We were told to leave and I made him drive me home and he did and the breakup was long and drawn out and he cried for hours every night and begged me to stay and threatened to kill himself, he ran away and then came back and started hanging out with this girl about 3 weeks from our breakup. I was glad he was finally moving on since I couldn't deal with his drama. They started datin and now 6 mOnths from our breakup she is pregnant and they are engaged. I still have a special place in my heart for him but I have moved on completely. I am now dying an amazing guy and have been for about a month, not a very long time but I have a connection with him and am very happy. Sometimes it's best to move on from first loves cause they may not have been right and he cheated and hurt me way to much. I have trust problems thanks to him but what I went thru with him made me strong Nd made me who I am today so I am thankful for it.

Mychelle

January 08, 2012 @ (United States)

Tags: errands

We had been dating a year and a half, tonight was supposed to be his housewarming party so i got all cute for for it. We had been having some problems in our relationship but they were things that just needed to be talked about and worked on. And i was already having a bad week, i was late to work and got fired two days before, so this party was going to be a good time to just relax and have fun for a night. Around noon he texted me that we needed to have a talk, I already agreed to it but i was thinking wed get all upset and it might ruin the party for us. So about an hour before it starts he comes over, gets in my car with me and tells me its not working for him. He doesnt like my personality, im always getting on his nerves, and hes just not happy with me. Just like that. As ui cried he continued to check his watch and then said "Well i have some errands to run" and left.

SnowCrashed

January 05, 2012 @ (USA)

Tags: crazy, psycho, weird, funny

This one was definitely my funniest. This total nutjob I hated myself enough to date at the time was a nightmare. Never shut up, had no personality, was an entitled, spineless child, tried to absorb every little trend that ever happened in order to make himself look cool, treated me like dirt, lied, stole, and despite never going to college, counted himself as "the most learned person he knew" because he'd figured out how to read Wikipedia. Also, he was insane. (And now he's SINGLE, ladies! Have at him!) One day, I had the epiphany "OH MY GOD I ---HATE--- THIS PERSON". Oddly enough it was during sex. Not sure why, but moving on. Now, I don't condone what I did in response to this, but I was young and cowardly, so there you go. I was at home the next day and I got a text from him. I was going to reply, but then I suddenly thought..."What if I just didn't respond? Ever? Ever again? Could it be that easy?" So that's what I did. A few days later the texts and calls stopped. I couldn't believe it worked. Almost. A week later out of the blue, he ruins my euphoria by showing up at my house and screaming that "he would break up with me" if I didn't stop ignoring him. So I was like... "Uhhh...okay bye!" and tried to go back inside, but he barged in after me and started ranting "all the reasons" he'd been "planning" to break up with me for "months". To which I was like "Dude, gtfo my house, or cops will be called." Then he responded by saying there was no way I'd go on living without him, that I'd kill myself without him--in retrospect I don't know how I wasn't literally rolling on the floor laughing. Eventually I said "Fine, if I stop texting you assume it's because I killed myself in depression, now leave." And then he starts wailing and wailing and telling me he'll kill HIMself if I break up with him. All I could say to that was "Yeah, well, good luck with that." Then I shoved him until he was out the door and threatened him with violence not to return. It must've been pretty convincing, because when he bumped into me a few months later he RAN the other way. Like I said. Giant coward. Memorable story for me though.

Jolene

January 02, 2012 @ (Aus)

Tags: 1

We weren't together long, probably only over a month and the relationship felt kind of rushed, as if everything just went way too fast. It isn't as if I regret anything about the relationship as it happened, I just think it would've turned out better if it didn't go so fast.
Anyway, all of a sudden when the holidays began we saw each other less and less. I was told that he was working too much and he was too tired to see me. When I asked about our lack of communication he said that he was just too tired and that I never really talked to him. It was frustrating and despairingly I attempted a sort of silent approach interspersed with periods of strained conversation (not face to face). I have no idea how any of this was supposed to help and so I just left it. He didn't 'have time' to see me...okay, then I'll just go on and assume that he's just not interested anymore.
So basically my breakup was a prolonged period of confusion in which the dumper let me work it out for myself that we were no longer together. Whether this method of indirect break up was an act of cowardice, laziness or (seriously misguided) kindness I don't know. We still talk occasionally through social networks and such and are supposedly 'friends' in a weird way that feels like nothing meaningful. I don't feel any resentment towards him (or try not to) because this stuff happens and people lose interest. Except I hope that when it does happen most people explain this to the persons' face and don't let them painstakingly figure it out for themselves.

Brynn

December 31, 2011 @ (bacolod)

Tags: 123

Hey.I'm ladiesman from philippines(obviously just an alias). It's my first time to experience this kind of pain from a break-up, cause I've invested too much on this woman. We got into a relationship through a dare game, in a text message. We got along,flirted,calling each other every 10:00 in the evening, been making out 4 times.., but never had an actual sex(just oral). The thin g with our relationship is she doesn't want to go out with me in public, telling me that she doesn't want her friends to know about it and that they will be shocked, I've also asked her about the guys that had been tecting her and calling her, and she would just tell me that these guys are nothing to worry about. Deep inside me I know that she's hiding something from me, but everytime I've asked her about this one she would always tell me the same thing, that I don't need to worry, they are just old acquaintances/ friends. It got to a point that I couldn't take this kind of thing anymore, and that I wanted our relationship to be open, so I told her about it, we broke up, and after an hour I told her that I was sorry and I want her back again. She just agreed, but starting that time, things got weird. She would not call me every 10:00 in the evening like what she's gonna be doing before, always delayed or sometimes not replying on my text messages anymore, started to make excuses for us not to meet, it was too much for me that I tried to call her for 33 times, she didn't answered back then. She then texted me on why have I called her for that many number of times, and I told her that I thought she was trying to avoid me, she was pissed, and told me that she's starting to lose interest on me because of what i did, and that caused our break up. I still made an effort to contact her, and even called her once asking for one more chance, but she told me that she just wants to be alone during christmas, and that she won't be giving me a chance
"for now" she says. 3 days passed, i never texted her but I would still call her from time to time, cause I was badly missing our daily routine of calling each other, and also spending time with her too...The last time that she answered the phone, after my 5 attempted calls in one day, she said"hello?...., I'm still busy", and then she dropped the phone. That hurted like hell for me. I felt like it's really 100% over already. I couldn't get over it that much, i became a paranoid and tried to seek advice from a lot of people around me, even those that I don't know. It came to a point that I've realized that I'm starting to get over it already, and had been trying to check her fb walls if there are other guys posting some stuffs. Lo and behold, there was a guy that I really have doubts to have a sexual reltionship with her that posted in her wall, I checked his fb account, checked on the pictures and his walls, and there I've discovered that my girl was actually trying to flirt, and chase the guy(cause he's a model) and had been posting a lot of flirty comments to each other since the day that my girl and I started making out(only lasted for about 2 months and a couple of weeks). Right now, I already consider her as a bitch, and is still trying to move on from the lies that she's been doing to me. I never realized that she's this kind of person, but a girl like this are the type to just be thrown away and be ignored(that's what my ego tells me to do....), and that's what I'm trying to do right now. Thing is, she still has a small boobs and a smelly cunt, so, I wanna wish the other guys who's gonna be meeting with her vagina a goodluck.

Eldon Matashaw

December 30, 2011 @ (Lebanon Missouri)

Tags: love, marriage, god

I am lost in my heart and my soul. I am very active in my church and I spend a great deal of time proselytizing to help bring others to Christ. Ever since I was 14 our minister has taken a special hand in my learning of Gods will and ways. He even encouraged me to date his adopted daughter Svetlana after he brought her here from Russia. A couple of years later, Pastor Williams encouraged me to marry Svetlana even though we were both still in school. We were married when I was 16 and she was 14. I was nervous as I was a virgin on our wedding night and I wanted to take it slow but Svetlana was very insistant that we have sex. We made love once, then she never wanted to do it any more. 6 months later our beautiful daughter Kima was born, 8 lbs 4 ounces and looked just like her mother. Pastor Williams was so helpful always offering to look after my wife and baby when ever he sent me out to spread the word of God. I had to leave school, because Pastor told me God spoke to him and said I was to be his beacon in the land to guide folks to his eternal love. I was often gone from home for many days and sometimes weeks as Pastor gave me instructions on where to spread His word. One day I was traveling near our home town, so I decided to stop in to see my family. When I went in to our trailer, I found my wife and Pastor Williams asleep in our bed. I could see they were both naked. I was so confused and I left without saying anything. A few days later, I talked to Pastor about it and he said the two of them had been praying and speaking in tongues. They had both been so posessed by the spirit, they chose to bare themselves to the Lord. He assured me that they had not engaged in fornication and that they both were just so exhausted they fell asleep. I believed him because I know he would never lie as it is a sin. Well, last week I found out Svetlana is pregnant again and her and I have not had sex since our wedding night. When I asked the Pastor for guidance, he told me I needed to "man up" and take care of my family. He explained to me that some women can carry a mans seed for years and have several children from only one mating. But then a sister in the church told me that she knew Pastor and my wife were committing adultry and that Pastor is actually the father of my Kima and my unborn child. I dont know who to believe, but I am so hurting in my soul. I think this may be the Lord testing me, or perhaps Satan trying to destry another of God's unions. I asked Svetlana to be truthful with me, and she just left and went to tell Pastor that I am being sinful in mistrusting her. I got on the internet to seek answers and somehow wound up on this site. I see so much pain here, and somehow feel kinship with it. But I also want you all to know, God loves you all, and he wants only your happiness. God has a plan. May he bless us all, Amen.

Larry

December 30, 2011 @ (Florida)

Tags: love

We haven't broken up yet, but I'm seriously considering some possibilities.
Let's start it off with, it's been 1.5+ since we've been together. We are young, so being naive must follow dearly, "of course". He is my first of many things, and so much more. We give each other space, yet we enjoy being close. The hurt began months and months ago. Maybe 3 months into our relationship. Firstly, I don't expect any boyfriend to give up friends for me; I won't do it so they shouldn't either. Fair enough, yes? But his best friend, let's call him Joe, has called me every single insult, name, and crude thing in the books. I have cried myself to sleep many-a-times, just because of how he treats me. Every time, my boyfriend has not put his foot down. I became depressed after being called a "trampy, pathetic, useless, slutty-bitch" after so many times. My boyfriend has called other girls gorgeous and flirted back. He's started fights then made me cry. He's a great guy, he just talks out of his butt. His friend is hurtful. He can be very uncaring at times. So when is it too much?

Alex

December 24, 2011 @ (LA, California)

Tags: still loves me

My boyfriend and I had been together for a little over 1.5 years (my longest, most meaningful relationship to date) with nothing more than minor arguments here and there. Our main problem arose a couple of months ago: He told me he felt like crap because he doesn't have the time to put into our relationship that he could a year ago. He got a promotion since then, meaning more responsibility and longer hours at work... But he also hates his job and wants to figure out what to do with his life (He's in a band and hopes so do something along those lines). We had a talk about our lack of time together, and it turned into a breakup conversation. He said he didn't want to stay together just for me to come to resent him one day. He says he loves me and doesn't want to lose me because I'm one of the few friends/people he respects... even though he previously did not believe in being friends with exes. Problem is, I'm not okay with being just friends, and he hasn't contacted me since our brief discussion/breakup. Worse still: The day after the breakup, I received news that my dad was in the hospital for the 3rd time this year and needs surgery. So... I really needed my bf's support. I don't want to call him an ex, and this doesn't make sense because we both still love each other. Sigh. Really don't know what to do.