Searching for "is"

1088 Results For 'is'

Rob

May 06, 2015 @ (Bay Area California)

I found a woman I wanted to marry I proposed. Everything was good, I was doing well in my career and got a promotion and I was excited to start a family and I recently purchased a nice condo.

I had immense self esteem issues throughout the engagement and dating. I had it ingrained in my mind that you need financial worth to be loved. I used pervious relationships as proof that I needed to be wealthy in order to be loved. I constantly assumed the relationship wouldn't work out and I would be abandoned for lack of wealth or cheated on. I walked around assuming people thought it was the "first" relationship I had due to my technology career.

It got to a point where I assumed I was being used for money (never knew exactly if it was true). She wanted me to buy a bigger home and fork out a lot for a wedding. It might of been her dream to have those things, but I didn't take it that way. It's like I subconsciously waited for an excuse to end the relationship. Instead of trying to work through it, I abandoned the relationship and out of the blue gave up on it. I was loved by her and her family and probably hurt everyone. It was the most rude, insecure, selfish thing I could of possibly did. I just gave up on a future, family, and love because of my insecurities and lack of maturity.

It was a Saturday and I called her and told her she didn't love me and that she loved money and to forget everything. It was the last time I ever spoke to her. Now that I look back on it, I am ashamed. I assumed she didn't love me and told her this, she refused and said she did. I told her to meet someone else that was financially wealthy enough and said to her that she would not see my ugly face again.

It's true you need to love yourself before you love another person as cliche as it sounds. Like if you don't value yourself, how do you expect someone else will. And the other "don't care what others think" is true. You can't go through life basing a relationship on what an outside force will think or assume.

If I could go back I would of handled myself very different and waited until I had my self esteem and confidence intact which I still lack.

Richard

May 05, 2015 @ (Norway)

Tags: It hurts

So about 4 years ago i meet this awsome girl that i fell in love with at a friends party. We keept meeting for coffie and just to talk. She had a boyfriend at the time. Then after awhile she cheated, with me. So her boyfriend threw her out, and i took her in. We moved to a flat after a year and was happy. Started about thinking of kids. Tryd to get kids, but we just couldnt. So doctors and all that started to found out what and so one. We was happy. Thought of might buy a apartment and just live our life to the fullest as we could. Then after 3,5 year into our relationship, my dad had a stroke. He didnt die, but was half paralyzed the first week.. My gf had allready ordred a few week befor a trip to her brother. So she and her mother went to her brother about 1 week after my dad had hes stoke. She comes home a week after, and everthing is as normal from her side atleast. 4 weeks after she get drunk at a party where she told a m8 of mine that she had cheated on me to. I was gonna ask for her hand the next year.... my life fell totaly apart.. kids. marriage.. how she supported me when my dad got his stoke.. 40 hours after she phoned me from that party and told me, she was out of the flat we rented. I even help her move to her new appartment. 5 months after just abit contact between me and her she calls me and ask if i could see a future with her now, cos she had a new job offer at another ciity, and ask if i could move with her. Im still inlove with her. I throw everything aside and say yes. Only thing is that she is kinda in a relasonship with someone else.. But we have a long chat, and even kissed. It feelt so god to smell her, taste her lips, and just holding her. Next weekend comes and she is gonna break up with her boyfriend. atleast that is what she tells me. Monday comes. And she ask if we can be friends, and stay friends..My hearth get ript out of me, and she jumps on it and put it back again.. She didnt break up with the boyfriend she have now, but have cheated on him after just a few months. I know the saying, once a cheater always a cheater, but i just cant hate her. I want to so bad but just cant. not even after all this. And belive me that this is just the really short version of this story, cos my english is bad i have skip alot..

But still..
I love her.. And the feeling that im not gonna be with her is eating me up...Im 35 years old. She is 33. and This last part happend just 14 days ago..I really just want to disapear..

Bebe

May 05, 2015 @ (Michigan)

Tags: bad breakup

We had been friends for a few years, but had only been dating for a few months. Things seemed to be going well. He told me he loved me and treated me like a princess.

He came over on Christmas Eve. He was acting really distant the whole time. Kept looking at his phone, which was not normal for him. Finally, he blurted out "I've been seeing someone else and I want to be with her". I felt like the rug had been pulled out from under me. I told him to leave. About an hour later I get a text saying "Oh yeah, baby. I'm getting hard thinking about you". Followed by a text saying "sorry, that wasn't meant for you, but Merry Christmas!". What an asshole!

So_fi8

May 03, 2015 @ (bangalore)

Tags: sad

where to start form?i loved him so much it almost took my breath away when we broke up, we dated fr almost 2 years,well it's wasn't a mormal reltationship,he had another gf,i found out almost an year later,decided to leave him,but somewhere couldn't.i don't know weather I was wrong to stick around or I was too much in love?bt I never wanted him to break up wit her n move wit me,i always wated him to b wit a right person.as the time goes on my feelings were getting stronger,but was stuck to move out,i tired to ignored I mean almost everything,but failed,i m not regreat to have meet him in my life,just sad he never was mine,at the we choose to broke up,i hope he will do grt without me,so will I,I wish nothong but the best for him.i

Broken

May 01, 2015 @ (Middle east)

Tags: Help

I meet a girl in my work anf i fall in love with her, she treated me very well first and every 15 min at my work she was calling me saying iam dying without you but later on she told me that she has a close friend he is a married guy older than her about 12 years and when i ask her to stop this friendship she feels angry saying i know him since 3 years and his wife my friend too, and she always disappear and just saying goodnight before she sleep, after 1 year we broke up then she called me about 9 times after 2 months from breakup but i ignored her and she send msgs saying why u r not answering i did nothing to you then i send msg saying i dont want u in my life even a friend but guys i feel pain from inside i need advices just to move on thxxx

Kami

April 27, 2015 @ (UK)

Tags: bad breakup

Many years ago when I was 17, I had just got my driver's license and was keen to ask this girl out. So I took a mate of mine and decided to ask her out - she said yes. Our relationship built slowly after that we had a few groups dates and my mate (who came with me to ask her out) came on some of those group dates with me. Anyway, the relationship went well for a year but then she got really controlling and started making me a bit depressed which in turn I gave her less attention and she got upset too. We never "split up" at any point but we did take breaks from the relationship. Sometimes a few days but the max was 1 week. One time I got too close to a female friend of mine on MSN (this was how long ago it was) and we spoke quite a lot online. We never got together or anything and I never went to her house and she never came to my house, heck we didn't even meet up to go shopping or anything like that. But again, this made my then girlfriend paranoid and I had to cut off all communication with my friend. We never had sex and the furthest we got (intimacy wise) was just touching each other. I did ask if we could have sex but she was a Christian and wanted to wait until she got married to have sex. I respected this and limited myself to touching - which was hard but I got over it. A year and 7 months since we started our relationship, I felt that she was too controlling..

During our relationship I wasn't allowed to talk to any other females but she took it upon herself to flirt with her ex boyfriend and also 2 other guys who were interested in her. I was jealous and furious - why is it that she was allowed to speak to the opposite sex but I wasn't? I wouldn't be as furious if the playing field was even. Ended up giving up trying to reason with her and allowed her to do whatever she wanted.

Her controlling-ness got even worse and she called me every night before I slept, texted me every 10 minutes even when I was in school.. I couldn't take it anymore and I broke up with her. I said that if in 6 months or so we still liked each other then we could get back together. She said she'd wait for me...

1 month later, she started dating one of the two guys that she was flirting with previously. To be honest, it didn't bother me that much - I just found it funny how she said she'd wait for me and then started dating one of the guys she was flirting with. After the breakup, I had already been speaking to other girls (I had moved on) and I've been in a happy relationship for over 6 years now.

Funny thing is, after we broke up, she came to the same university as me and with our departments being quite close, sometime we would come across each other in the hallway. She would totally ignore me if she saw me and some of her friends had told me that sometimes she would deliberately avoid me if she saw me first. I mean... What? I can only laugh at that when I think back to it...

Ally Marie

April 26, 2015 @ (Canada )

Tags: sad

My ex boyfriend and I started talking after we had played mw3 with mutual friends. we had never met before. At first it was only just texting like friends and then one night I just randomly told him.. whenever I like someone. I tell them. it kinda comes in handy sometimes. but anyways I said to him "look, I know we've never met and stuff but I kinda like you, I don't want to ruin things if you don't feel the same way so if you don't, let's forget about it." he replied with "only kinda..?" and I'm like "more than that". and he told me he felt the same way. we started dating January 17th 2015. we had been dating for maybe five days and my dad drove me to meet him at the movies. he walked over and shook my dads hand and we went to watch American sniper. he kept looking at me throughout the whole movie and smiling. I was so nervous so I kept biting my lip and giggling quietly. he had his arm around me and he kissed my cheek and my forehead a few times. he was so sweet and caring and I honestly fell in love with him. at the end of the movie. we made out and stuff but I had to leave because my dad texted me. once we got to our own homes we talked all night. he was the best guy I've ever met. I love him still more than I've ever loved myself. March 15 he went on vacation. we barley got to talk that day because he was on the plane. after that. a few days later I texted him saying hey and he just read it. so I just left it. the next day I still hadn't heard from him. not even the next. he would just read my messages. so I finally said "do you want to break up? I feel like you have lost feelings for me." he said no and that was it. on the 20th of March we broke up. he accused me of breaking up with him for saying "would it be best if we broke up because you don't seem happy and you seem distant." he got really mad and was like "wow. so we're over?" I said "no? I'm just asking you. I want to be with you". he just ignored it. so. after that there was a lot of fighting and mind games and he was being very rude and blaming me. we broke up after dating for two months. I know it was a short time but I was in love and he said he was too. now still, to this day. April 26th. we still talk. more so fighting rather than talking. he's put me through so much and I've gone to counselling because it's really hard to cope with it. he's called me so many names and I'm still so in love with him. Yes we are young. I'm turning 14 in June and on March 28th he turned 15. but I still love him and I don't find that love has an age. I know a lot of you may blame me for this like he did but yeah.

Broken (part 4)

April 21, 2015 @ (toronto)

Tags: bad breakup

Three weeks into my still ongoing vacation i get a call from a friend. Says he wasn't in paris with his friends for new years but with his so called ex-wife who is not an ex wife and never was. I feel a flutter of wrongs come back into my stomach. I feel a volcano of emotions. But most of all i feel like puking I puke out everything, the lies, the emotions, the hurt, the champagne, the empty promises, the real promises? I don't know at this point but i keep puking and then i cry. I cry for the lies he has told me and i cry for the two hearts i broke because of him. I cry for the man i let go and i cry for the mistake i have made. I cry for lying to myself and ignoring all the red signs, i cry for believing him, and mostly i cry because i can't and won't let him go. I call him i break up with him. He doesn't run after me and won't run after me. I block him and then unblock him i do this for the next 3 months. once i unblock him i hurl insults at him through Facebook, text messaging, voice messaging. I feel empty so i block him again. I do it again and this time we go back to saying i love yous but then the anger rises in me and i hurl my insult my pain at a screen. So i block him again. I unblock him and so it begins a cycle. I laugh sometimes. My friends stare at me. They used to call me the ice queen now i am the melting queen. I have break downs and melt downs. I can't hurl my anger at him so i hurl it at them whenever they'r ehappy i do it when they're down i do it when they're sad i do it. I don't know myself. The last time i blocked him was 7 days ago today i say its done its over. But deep down i don't know if it is. I love him as a child loves its favourite blanket or as mother loves her unborn child. I love him as if he were the beat of my heart and soul. I feel a physical pain when i see a flash of his smile in my head. I miss him so much that its physically painful to breath. I tell myself it is better to have loved and lost then to have felt no love at all. Then i google and try to find who said that quote and i then i want to find them and murder them. I want to see if they really have loved and lost because anyone who has truly loved. As in loved with their entire soul and finally understood what i would die for you would never ever ever say such a fucking stupid quote. So i go online and i try to find sad break up stories. I find this website but all the stories are about 18 year olds whom portably thing they have found true love. And i think to myself they are only 18 and they don't know what love means. But then i look at myself and i remember i was 18 and i knew love and look where that love has brought me. Which really is nowhere.

Broken (part 3)

April 21, 2015 @ (toronto)

Tags: bad breakup

He says she has made his life a living hell and he wants to get out. I say whatever makes you happy and he gives me this smile that makes my heart stop. I lie to him and say i don't have a boyfriend. I go out of my apartment and call him. I say he's here. He says great now go and have fun i love you. I do too i say and don't mean it. Because all of a sudden i realize no other amount of love will ever come as close as the way i love him. I finally realize when people say if its love you will know. I don't care that he has two kids, i don't care that his wife is a bitch, i don't care that he has so much baggage that he literally is the baggage claim. I care about none of it. Because when i am with him i need nothing. The world without him means nothing. And what is a world without nothing to live for? So we go on vacation. We leave the country and go away. At first we are friend and nothing else. It starts with silly jokes, past memories, the brush of his hands against mine, the way he accidentally touches me, the way he pokes me when he thinks i am not listening. Then before you know it you're both falling madly in love. I had already been in love but this time its his turn to feel what i feel. And he does. He feels it with a passion i did not see coming. Then the planning of the future comes. He promises me a grand wedding, the telling of our families, the happiness our fathers would feel at the news. We talk about how we would raise his kids and whether i should learn how to cook healthy options. He leaves and i cry at the airport. I break up with my boyfriend and forget all about him. As if he never existed. I stay up until 4 am everyday so i can be on his time. I sleep all day and am up all nigh. He's worth it i say. I get too tired to go to work, too tired to go out with friends he's all i think of. He calls he says its over the divorce is final and he will send me a ticket to vista him after january (2015). I cry whether its from joy or the foreshadowing of our future i can't tell. I quit my job, i sell the few things i owe, i pack my life up and go to vegas with my best friends and he hits Paris with his. I am on the phone with him on new years i say happy new years love of my life. He says happy new years my soul but i have to go now my guy friends are waiting for me. I feel a pang of something a flutter of wrongness but i ignore it and keep on dousing champagne. I smile and think to myself this year is going to be great.

Broken (part 2)

April 21, 2015 @ (toronto)

Tags: bad breakup

I dress up the day of his arrival and go pick him up. As I am driving by i see him waiting on the other side. I honk my horn but he doesn't see me. As i get out of my car and walk towards him everything suddenly hits me. The way i felt about him, the way the world stops around you, the reason you finally understand all those cheesy movies, and stupid love songs. The way the world looks. The colours more intense, the sky is bluer, the grass is greener the air is fresher you heart is beating faster. You have this adrenaline rush like its monday morning and you've already dawned 8 cups of coffee. I run to him this time too and hug him. I ask him about his life, his wife, his two kids. He says he married too fast, he loves his kid he hates his wife. She is a nightmare he says. A nightmare i think with pretty blue eyes.