Searching for "crushed"

23 Results For 'crushed'

NeedsHelp

September 12, 2010 @ (WestCoast)

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My girlfriend of 9 years broke up with me to be with an old high school friend. The sad part is that I have a feeling that they will eventually get married within the next year or so. I’m absolutely crushed like never before. We’ve had our share of problems throughout our relationship and unfortunately it’s mostly my fault. I feel so stupid for taking her for granted.

We met in college back in 2001 and it started out as the most beautiful thing in this world that either of experienced. We were soul mates and were certain that we’d be together forever. It was like we were two peas in a pod, amongst a campus full of strangers and were very happy we found one another. It didn’t take us but 6 months to move in together we were so in love. However, after graduating college, I struggled for years, and was depressed even, to find a job. She supported us for most of our relationship as she was blessed with a wonderful career as an exceptional community organizer, which she now serves as the executive director of her organization. Me on the other hand, struggled immensely to find my passion, and had several dead end low paying jobs.. This was emotionally hard on me, and most certainly on her. However, we would make the best of our situation by taking various trips around the country and enjoying the natural bond we had for one another. We didn’t have to take trips really we enjoyed staying home together, whether we were intimately conversing about any topic or making passionate love. However, my career struggles took a severe toll on our relationship. I even went through a period of alcohol abuse, which lasted a couple of years. Eventually, after 4 great years she began to loose interest in me, and cheated on me a few times. Although I was obviously crushed, I took her back because I loved her so so much and believed we could work through anything, plus I always envisioned her as the mother of my kids. Fast forward to January 2008, I eventually found a job which pays great and I absolutely love-- finally I’m able to support us and feel good about myself in that regard. We celebrated the entire 2008 in the name of my success and life seemed golden--finally my career struggle was over! Unfortunately I started to drink again and lied several times about it and thus undermining any trust left. At that time, she started to give me warnings that I had to stop or else she’d leave. Fortunately I finally stopped, but we would still argue. She also began to voice, starting in mid-June of this year, that she was growing unsatisfied in our relationship and that we needed to talk. I unfortunately kept prolonging “the talk” and became slightly tuned out every time she said it. Beginning of August I noticed she started to act suspect: she seemed to pay more attention to sending text messages on her smart phone than being in my company. So, I naturally had a hunch something was wrong, so I checked her work email and noticed she made reservations at hotel to be with some random guy, the weekend I was going out of town visit college friends in LasVegas. To make a long painful story short, I confronted her about it over the phone while she was at work, she became shell-shocked that I found out and started crying. We hang up and she eventually came home from work. The first thing she said was we should break up… and that I should‘ve talked to her but now it‘s too late we have to break up. I’m begging and pleading for her to get her to change her mind, and that we should talk now, but she insisted we should break up. The next day I go to work, come back home and she’s gone. I call her and she said we shouldn’t be around each other anymore and one of us needs to move out. Now I’m in further disbelief and shock. What follows after that is even more painful drama, trauma rather, and would take another 500 words or so to explain but I‘ll save the detail--it’s bad.. In short, she’s been at a friends house for the past 3 weeks looking for a place and blocked my number from her cell phone, it turns out this random guy is an old high school friend and they are in a intimate partnership. She even hinted that they are talking about marriage. Meanwhile I’ve been alone in our old apartment reminiscing, broken-hearted but refusing to let go, looking at old pictures and her belongings, under an unbearable amount of sorrow, loss of appetite and motivation, deteriorating self-esteem and ego. I’ve been reading passages from Psalms to make it through the day. My life feels like it’s over.

Leon

February 12, 2010 @ (US)

Tags: Love? Lust? Lonely?

Well me and this girl were dating for 6 months...She was my first love, I can still honestly say I never met anyone like her...She is really something, Which makes her so special..But sadly I am not the only one who notices those traits. I was in love, We would talk for hours on the phone I would write poems and say the most romantic things I could think of. Things were almost perfect the only problem was that we couldn't see each other as often as we liked. I hated it, and when she told her mother that we were dating....She didn't approve. I was younger and in her book....That's bad. One night she calls me crying her eyes out that she needs time alone ( Her and her mom got in a fist fight and got a black eye out of it ) She said she needs to deal with her problems and needs to break up with me. I was crushed....But I understood and said I would wait for her.
After the break up there were rumors going about that she was cheating on me and that was the real reason she broke up with me....This was coming from my closest friends and there would be no reason for them to lie to me. I believed them. ( Very Bad Choice ). I told her that I don't want to speak to her and to not talk to me, think of me or anything. I hated myself for what I did to her. Days later I called her and she made it clear that the rumors were started by her ex-boyfriend who just wanted to piss her off. It sadly worked and got me into deep trouble. (Oh by the way the day I told her...was on her birthday...yeah..I know..)
I felt like such an idiot. For weeks I tried to do everything in my power for her to forgive me. A few times she said that she doesn't feel the same way anymore for what has happened. (I don't blame her). After a while we start getting the spark back and begin to show feeling again. I still wanted her ever so much and I was waited for the right moment to ask her out again, It was Christmas time and I had a necklace in a box and underneath that box was a letter and a ring, asking her to be mine once more.
I call her to let her know I'm coming over, She starts acting strange and I ask her whats wrong. She tells me that she's not sure If she wants to be with me, "I didn't do anything wrong did I?" I ask her and she say no...But If she really did love me she wouldn't care what her Mom says.
Scared and worried that Ive lost my only chance to have her back I go over the following day with the present and flowers. I get there and she refuses to take the gifts. For fear that she doesn't feel anything for me anymore. We have a long talk and she concludes that the only reason that she wanted me was to pretty much F.... ME!. I refused to believe that fact I doubt that every "I Love You" she ever said to me was to have me in bed... After a long talk I ask her to look at me In the eye and tell me..."You Don't Love Me" she hesitates and finally says it. "I Don't Love You" ...I had nothing left to say...I give her my present and leave.
Weeks pass by and she calls me to say "Sorry, she only said those things because she doesn't want to get attached to me, and doesn't want a boyfriend." I forgive her and say that she could have just said that in the beginning. After a week I notice...Shes flirting with other guys and I see it kind of odd.
I confront her about It and ask If shes ever lied to me...She says that shes not with anyone ...BUT she is starting to like another guy. She starts to cry and tells me that shes truly sorry. I love this girl and there is nothing I can't forgive her for. and so I forgave her and let her know how special she really is to me. The following day, Merely hours before me and her finally get into a good start. The guy she likes starts calling her his girlfriend, and saying how much she means to him.
I didn't know what else to do...I confronted her about it for the last time and she says that she didn't know anything about him calling her his girlfriend. But she is kind of happy that he does indeed call her his girlfriend. The last thing I tell her..Is "I love you...Take Care"

I hope shes okay.