Searching for "change"

198 Results For 'change'

Alexis

November 14, 2012 @ (Florida)

Tags: regret

Well it all started with this guy. He is a little bit younger than me. He is really sweet and a really great guy, but there is just one thing. He acts really annoying and immature sometimes. I fell in love with him though, he was my first real relationship. However, throughout the relationship I found myself loving him one day and then just hating him the next. He got on my last nerves sometimes. I had considered breaking up with him many times but I knew that he was really in love with me and I couldn't bring myself to do it. So one day me and my friends were all talking and his name came up in the conversation, I was telling them how he was really starting to act immature and annoying and thats when I decided I just couldnt handle it anymore. I could let him keep loving me and me holding back. I didn't know how to break it to him without hurting him though. So I decided that the best way was just to start a rumor that he was talking to other girls, BIG mistake. I knew it was wrong but I just couldn't tell him the truth. I thought that he would believe it since someone had already told me rumors about him before. The next day at school my he found out that the rumor was false and he got really mad. And on top of all that my friend told him I cheated on him while we were dating, she completely stabbed me in the back. She told him I made out with a guy at a party. It wasn't true, I was at my cousins birthday party and we were playing truth or dare, I got a dare to kissed this kid on the cheek. So I did, it wasn't a big deal, he was like 12 and it was just on the cheek. It meant nothing but she changed it all around. I felt terrible, I missed him like crazy and the sad thing is was I broke up with him two days before our 4 month anniversary. I began to realize that he really loved me and he was an amazing guy.My whole world just fell apart,no one understood my decision, not even my parents. I felt like everyone hated me for what I did. I even hated myself. I just wanted to undo it all. I made a stupid decision. I hope one day he will forgive me and maybe we can try to date again but until then I have to deal with the regret and guilt.

Tori

November 10, 2012 @ (virginia)

Tags: fell out of love

So i had been with this guy for almost two years. He had a rough childhood and back ground. I helped through alot of that. After about 6 months of being together he moved about 2 hours away. It became a long distance relationship. It was fine at first but in the past few months we had started to fight alot and just not get along well. But when we were actually together things were great. He said he needed a break, and at the end of this break he broke up with me and said "im not inlove with you like i used to be. i still care but the passion is gone" i am completely torn up if i was mad at him or i thought he wasnt worth it i could get over him. but im not mad at him feelings change and he really is a great guy

Ariana

November 05, 2012 @ (Brooklyn)

Tags: @neveragain

I couldn’t possibly say all the things I wanted to say off the top of my head to you in person so I wrote them down. There are no words to describe how incredibly disappointed and betrayed I feel by you. For once in my life I am able to say that this situation deems me being entirely selfish and not think about anyone else for a chance. Meaning that I really do not care about your feelings or whatever friendship you think you can offer me after this.
You said you were my friend, you said that I was a special person and that you would never want to lose me as a friend. Where was that feeling when you decided to start dating a mutual friend? Someone I considered living with? Someone I would have to constantly see you with in our when our friends hang out? In the library? Where were those morals you held me so high to? You flipped out enough to make me feel like shit when I started dating someone new when we broke up and he wasn't even your friend! The amount of shit that I have put up with because of you is enough to leave me scarred for life. You have hurt me so many times that I’ve stopped counting. There were nights when I lived with my mom that my grandmother heard me crying after an argument with you. I lost all shame when I was with you. But that was not the only thing I lost. I lost trust in other men, I lost self-value, I lost my morale as a woman. Slowly but surely you killed so much in me. But that is not why I am upset or angry with you because I had let that all go. I am mad at you because you tricked me into believing you cared about me and that we were real friends. You lied to me and completely disrespected me and insulted me as a woman. You even threw a jealous temper tantrum after my birthday! You had already started dating her! how dare you?? I thought that if there was anything that we got out of our disfunctional f*cked up relationship was your evolution from a dirtbag who hates women to an actual caring human being. It killed me to see you so hurt and angry at women. Because I thought that in using them like you did, you were just hurting yourself. But I was wrong. You will not change and you live your life to hurt the women around you, to walk around thinking first of your dick rather than your heart. Or even less, hers. I am not your friend, because you do not consider me your friend. I am just former property that you want to keep tabs on. It is sad that I lost who I thought was a friend, but it is even sadder because you lost a genuine friend due to selfishness, arrogance and stupidity. I want to forgive you but I am so hurt and angry right now that I can’t, you don’t deserve it.

Dislike Chandra

November 05, 2012 @ (Duluth, MN)

Tags: Break up story

When you told me you had found someone, I was worried. I thought there wasn’t possibly a way you cheated on me because I knew you. I trusted you. You weren’t that person. You said you hadn’t started dating her yet and that you were “just friends” but that you’d spent the night at her apartment on her couch a few times, that you’d gone out for drinks, etc. I digested this news. You had found someone else. I begged, I cried, I starved myself for several weeks – because I couldn’t understand how you, someone who I thought to be a good person, could have cheated on me.

I read her Facebook updates and it appeared that you had been dating since April, going on little vacation trips together, meeting her family, etc., all the while you were still dating me. You used my car to visit her, to bring her to work, and to take trips out in the country with her. When I was extremely ill, you claimed you were at a cabin with your parents and elderly grandmother, so I would have to take an ambulance. Turns out you were with her in the country, with my car.

You didn’t even come clean with me, I had asked for honesty. Please just tell me how long you’d been dating, what had gone on behind my back, etc. I felt made a fool of and humiliated. I was embarrassed that I defended you when you were “at a friends house” (turns out you were spending the night with her), or when you were hours late coming home from work, I figured you stopped to hang out with a friend – turns out I was completely over-trusting.

When I found out the truths splattered all over her Facebook, knowing that she had been married and her ex-husband had cheated on her and caused the end of the marriage less than a year before you two started dating, I was angry. How can another woman agree to date a man and put another lady in the same position she herself was in? She knew how this kind of betrayal hurt.

There was a time after the cheating when you made me feel like the cheating was entirely my fault and that if I tried to change some things about my behaviors and my income situation, you’d still date me. You claimed you wanted to be friends. You cried like a baby several times. You insisted that you didn’t hate me.

I moved out. We broke up. Things were spiraling out of control – and there you were being cruel to me any chance you got. I ran into you and your new “fiancé” (you got engaged after four months of dating, all of which were done when you were cheating on me, really), and instead of showing some respect for me being in the same vicinity as you two – you made out the entire night for hours on end in front of my friends and me! Talk about disrespectful.

You couldn’t understand what caused me to hate you. You couldn’t understand what caused me to hate her? You wanted me to play nicely and be kind. I’ve moved on with my life, I’ve met someone I can trust and depend on. We bonded over the horrible things you did to me, how low you were as a person, and we laugh at you. I’m glad we’re able to be together – but I’m still angry at you for NOT apologizing for the kinds of cruel things you did to me.

I’d be ashamed for your mother and father that they raised such a horrific human. You lied to your parents while you were cheating, you didn’t even invite them to your wedding – because you’ve changed. You’ve become the most evil person I’ve ever known, and it’s sad – because you use to be a good person.

I’d like to say I wish you health and happiness, but I wish almost every ill the world can throw at you. Every impossible situation where you’ll find pain, I wish that for you. I hope one day karma throws you several things at one time and you can feel what it feels like to not have a choice in a situation, to be made a fool of, and to hurt.

I know in my heart, you will cheat on her. Once she doesn’t pay enough attention to you. Once she gets too busy working and being a mother, she’ll forget to give you the insane amount of attention you require and you’ll do horrible things to her like you’ve done to me. The only difference is, she’ll deserve it.

Ambassador Of Eros

October 26, 2012 @ (USA)

Tags: Facebook, long-distance, lying

I was with this girl, and we started dating. After about 2 weeks she called it off because we would be seperated the following year. I agreed, and we have kept in touch ever since. Since then , I have kinda had dibbs on her. She found me on facebook yesterday and friended me. Today I looked closer at her profile and it said:
Relationship Status: In a relationship
I wasnt sure if it was true because she forgets to chang a lot of things after something happens. So I messaged her asking if she had a boyfriend. I have not gotten a response yet. What II'm ad about is that she lied to me about having a bf. She had emailex ne asking if I had a gf, and I said no. I asked her the same (with bf instead of gf) and she said no.
Still waiting for the response to the fb message. It's kinda creepy thinking thatfacebook could change my life...

Emily

October 20, 2012 @ (us)

Tags: ss

So there is this 1 guy i like for about a year and finally we started talking to each other frequently and he also asked me out. we went on dates and liked each other. i knew he was a player since the beginning but he said he has changed. none of his EXs last for more than a month. you can say im stupid but i believed in what he said. we were in a relationship but he likes to hang out with other girls and even told me when he hang out with them or when he had a fight with them. i listened to all of that and had never got angry. i knew i couldn't be too possessive for him and should give him a little of freedom. i convince myself that they were just friends. so this went on quite a lot.. he went out with lots of girls. he broke up with me yesterday and i should have known that it would be coming sooner or later..

Felix

October 06, 2012 @ (calexico)

Tags: love hurts

This guy sat next to me for the whole school year.... We started talking 1 month the school year ended.. he had a girlfried and 6 months before i experianced my first brake up of a year and 4 months i had come a long way and when we started talking i started to have a little crush ge graduated from highschool anf on the summer going to my senior year he dumped his girlfriend and dated me... He broke up with me for no reason.... Then one day he came to my house hold my hand and we had sex then he told me he dident wanted a gf.. a cried alot i felt used then he ask for a second chance and i gaved it to him we were fine but this girl came along.. he made a new friendv in college that girl is 3 years older than him and she has a baby they would send msg back and forth every day and when i confront him he said she was just a friend... One day his facebook was logged on and i read msgs he has with her ... Where he said i was a drama with an attitude.. that he was a pro at sex since a young age.... That the neighbores knew his name because they would hear me screme when we were having sex... The girl said her homework was hard and that he should go to her house abd help her.. she gaved him her adress and he ask for her number.. that where the msgs end i they kept texting trough phone messages... I cried alot i felt used embarrased he insulted me i broke up with him.... He wanted to meet up and talk about it he said he never cheated but i never gave him a chance to explain himself because those msg were his own words and nothing he would of said could changed the facts in 17 homefully i find my soul mate and hot guys that play with my heart

Farrah

September 23, 2012 @ (CA)

Tags: breakup

FROM MY DIARY: MY BOYFRIEND, THE ADDICT

I need to laugh right now, even though I feel like crying. You see, the man I love is an addict. Piece by piece, he’s breaking my heart. I think this might be over.

For the time being, though, I figure laughter is the best medicine. So I’m trying to focus on the crazy man outside with the abrasive voice, yelling on the phone in a language I can’t understand. At the same time, I’m reading these break-up stories on an online support group for damaged relationships, wondering how on earth I got here.

I’m trying to remember the things I'm grateful for, which is hard to do in a time like this. My therapist tells me to do this when I feel down. It helps me shift into a more positive mindset. I need to look at the things I DO have in my life and stop focusing on what I've lost - because I can’t stop thinking about Ryan* and about how much I miss the person he used to be.

I feel like I lost him even before the new girl "friend" came along. However, I know she’s only a piece of this crazy puzzle. The old Ryan would never have hurt me that way. He never would’ve lied to me about seeing her. He never would’ve blamed me for his own mistakes.

For the past couple months, I’ve had that gut instinct, telling me something wasn’t right. I could already feel him starting to slip away, and I keep remembering the person who once loved and adored me, and who thought I was beautiful and amazing. I miss the way he used to hold me, kiss me, talk to me for hours. He said he wanted to be with me forever, and I wanted his face to be the first thing I saw each morning, every day for the rest of my life. I never told him that – but I felt it in my heart. He inspired me to be a better person. I miss that man.

When I met him over a year ago, he’d first gotten sober. Gradually, he changed into a brand new person. A light appeared in his eyes; he was truly happy. He went to AA, got a sponsor, and was taking steps toward a brighter future. What went wrong?

It hurts so badly to watch him change. I watch as he stumbles through the darkness of his addiction, sloppy step-by-step, and I can’t do a thing. The pain cuts like a knife, but I’m trying not to feel it. I’m trying to be strong. I don't even know him anymore. He can't see the way he hurts me. While he's this way, he can't see anything else. He’s locked in the grip of denial – in a world that is cold and black. Until he wants help, he won’t get better, and right now he doesn’t believe anything is wrong.

I can't go on this way with him. I love him more than words can say, but I have to love myself enough as well.

I have to realize that the person I'm leaving behind isn’t the man I fell in love with. Instead, he’s a stranger, and all I have are memories of someone I once loved with all my heart.

I watch him wrestle within his own skin, and wallowing in the pits of self-imposed misery. He can't even see what this does to me. He'll only get better when the pain of staying the same outweighs his fear of change.

Unless he’s willing to be honest with himself, he’ll never change, and things between us will continue to deteriorate.

As long as he’s in this mode, he’s capable of anything. He expects my trust without being trustworthy. He expects results and rewards without doing anything to earn them. It isn’t realistic, but he can’t see that now – not the way the old Ryan would. I guess it’s impossible to see the entire picture while you’re standing in it.

A part of me still believes in him. He pushed through this before, and he became an amazing person because of it. It's hard to watch something so beautiful waste away before your eyes. It’s even harder to walk away.

Whatever happens, I do believe that everything happens for a reason - even if I can't see what that is right now. One day, maybe I'll understand. And one day - just maybe - the man I love will come back to me.

Mariah

September 13, 2012 @ (New York)

Tags: heart ache, mistake

It first started as a lust; something I never saw going anywhere nor did I want it to. We met at my place of work, and considering that it's my job to turn men on, I did just that. Not expecting that I'd actually be turned on by him.
We exchanged numbers and I told myself, he was just a client and us spending time together would be strictly professional. With each visit he showed more interest in me, and I continued to play my role as a girl that was into him. However once we became intimate I noticed a change, at least I thought I did. He stopped coming to see me at work and slowly I found myself getting upset and feeling used. Now suddenly I was the one who had feelings.
I swear I didn't see it coming, and I thought to myself, "its just hurt pride, it'll pass". Before I knew it he payed little to no attention to me at all and I began to feel jealous and hurt. I expressed my feelings and he continued to do as he pleased. He knew I hated him coming by and so, he started to come by even more, claiming that although it was hurting me, he wasn't doing it to hurt me...

I think the big slap for me was when he came to my job on my birthday, and didn't want to spend time with me. In addition, his friends would snicker and laugh when they'd see me. I grew so furious I had them all kicked out, and once I got home, I cried. I cried a lot and for days.

I tried my hardest to shake what felt like hurt feelings I shouldn't be having. I reminded myself where I met him and told myself that chances are, I'm not the first girl he's done this to.
Then I told myself, well maybe its my fault. I brushed him off so much in the beginning, that when it got dished back to me, I didn't like it.

I honestly don't know what happened and I still don't understand it. It's been 5 months and every time I think about how he would come to my job to spend time with someone else, it burns me deep down. To watch him lust after someone else, then act as if I wasn't there...it's still so painful to think about.

We were speaking as friends for a while up until recently, but I noticed that the only person who has ever made any initiative to keep in touch, is me. He makes no effort to speak to me if I do not speak first, and so, I've given up on the idea of us being friends. I've erased all his numbers and tried my hardest not to think about him.

I really stuck my foot in my mouth. There are times when I've wanted him back, and there are times when I wish we'd never met. In fact, most times I wish that.

Gabor

September 07, 2012 @ (Maryland)

Tags: Sad, Betrayal

My story is a bit unique and is way too long to tell here, but I will link a video in this post. I never once dated in my life because I wanted to wait until I was old enough and mature enough to handle a relationship. I met my ex when I was near 16 and right of the bat I was there for her when she was dragged up from FL. to MD. because her mom wanted to be with her high school sweetheart. I did everything for this girl and she moved in within a month of meeting. We lost each other's innocence to one another. Later she would get sick of MD and eventually just leave and say we would do long distance. She never liked to talk and was slowly changing. She went from a sweet innocent girl to one of those general f***ed up teens today. She told me she would see me so I flew down to Florida at age 17, only for her to change her mind. Like I said there is too much to speak of in this box. I have a video that's 2 hours long for those of you that actually want to hear what happened. I'm trying to get through to her with support from the world that she changed for the worse because I don't want to lose her. YouTube link http://youtu.be/3YNYrCkXP48