Tags: Badbreakup hopeless love
As a seventeen year old girl I have been told that I am beginning to start out my life. But I can't seem to wrap my finger around it I don't know why but I truly hate being a teenager.. Well anyways I grew up in a very Christian family where as a small child I was not exposed to much of the outer world I was literally locked up at home with only gospel music and movies of Daniel in the lions den. I guess you can say I was an innocent child, when I started high school I had everything planned out I would go to school stay in my books and study hard to graduate with no drama . Life however decided to throw me the unexpected. At the age of fourteen I met a guy who was like no other or so I thought, he showed me everything that I didn't know existed for example music genres, because of him I found out that I love alternative rock, yea yea I didn't know what that was xp.. I really thought we would be together forever like he told me, we even ran away together. my parents did not like the fact that I started to date an "outsider" a guy who wasnt Christian so they did everything possible to break us up, I was sent to Texas for a couple of months but that didnt work. Nothing they did worked, my family would warn me about how guys only use you or that he will find someone else then leave you stranded I didn't believe them, I admit I am a stubborn person. I loved him with all my heart and but to this day I still do, I love him so much that it hurts v.v We had dated for three years, he then broke up with me right after our three year anniversary. I gave up everything to him, my innocence, my trust, my love everything even money. Everyday we would spend together and when he broke up with me I felt as if I was being hit by trucks. It has been 5 months since our break up and I still can't move on. I have tried just about everything there is to forget but it's hard, especially since my school is literally one hall way. I see him everyday and it hurts, just yesterday I saw him with another girl.. And it hurt since yesterday would have been 3 years and 5 months. To make matters worse i recently found out that he had cheated on more than once throughout our relationship, and honestly that just made my depression worse..He was my first boyfriend ever and probably my last, guys are too complicating and I'm not good with relationship. I was told to never run away from my problems but there are times where you have to get away to continue with your life. I'm a senior with only two months until graduation, but because I decided to take the teenage love life experience I am forced to transfer schools. Life as a teenage girl.. .-.
Tags: breakup family sister cheating drama mexicans will always believe their daughter
This is a really looong story.
Due to mutual friends, I was introduced to this guy. Lets call him Kev. We were only 15. We talked everyday on the phone. I had a feeling that he might like but I shrugged it off as I only saw him as a friend and I was still heart broken from my previous break up with "Stan". I loved Stan with all my heart and I still do! Anyways, after getting to know Kev, he asked me to be his gf 6 months later but I rejected him cause I couldn't get over Stan. Then we got into an argument about something stupid and stopped talking for about 2 months. He approached me when we started talking again. By then, I thought I was starting to get over Stan so I gave Kev a chance. We started dating and I was so happy cause it felt like Stan was starting to fade away in my mind (he never did). 4 months into our relationship, we had sex for the first time. We were both virgins so neither of us knew what to do. Needless to say, it sucked. But I was okay with it at first cause sex isn't everything. However, everytime we have sex, it felt terrible. My friends would suggests things but they never worked! I, on the other hand, became quite the expert in oral sex cause of all the advice my friends gave me. After 6 months of trying, I couldn't take it anymore. I tried breaking up with him but it made me realized how attached I am to him. So we got back together. Shortly after that, his bitchy older sister, "Stacy", found out we're in a serious relationship. Idk what's wrong with her, but she was insane! First, she lied to her family saying I harassed her via texts and they believed her! I was banned from the house until the lie was falling apart. The next time I saw her, she was angry cause Kev told her I went to the movies with my ex "Danny". Danny and I were really close friends. Yeah, he was madly in love with me but I didn't feel the same way. We would talk on and off cause everytime when are going well, he think he'd have a chance, so I would stop talking to him for a while. Anyways, Stacy was furious that I did that. She threatened me and said she will kill my ass next time. I wanted to say something back so I would look like a spineless person cause I'm not at all, but Kev just told me to ignore her. BIG MISTAKE. After that, she probably think I was weak cause she kept threatening me. Family did nothing. All they ever say is to ignore her. Well I got tired of her and I was still sexually frustrated, so I talked to Danny about it. Note this, Danny was saving his virginity for me and he was already 18 at the time. One thing led to another, I ended up sleeping with Danny (he sucked too). I deeply regretted it and confessed my crime to Kev. He was angry but he was glad I told him. In the end, I chose Kev over Danny. Now, all that we've been through, Stacy is still harassing me. And I felt like Kev cared more about his friends and family than me cause he never stood up for me. He claimed he has but I call bs. So once again, I was fed up. Another friend who was also head over heels for me was there to comfort me whenever Stacy would verbally abuse me. Needless to say, I made another mistake. I, again, confessed my crime to Kev and he was beyond angry because they go to the same school so he knew him. Well I tried breaking it off with Kev but everytime, something calls me back. I feel terrible for what I did and Kev always reminded me... No, the harassing never stopped. We almost got into a fight once...(she's 3x my size). I stopped the cheating, I didn't want it to turn into a habit. But then I found out he went and hung out with my friend's twin in the middle of the night. "Supposedly" nothing happened, but the twin said he tried to get at her. Idk who to believed so I dropped it. When we were together for about 1 1/2 year, he took this girl to Comicon. I smelled something fishy but again, he claimed nothing happened. Third strike, I found out he was kiking this girl "Joey". The old messages were already deleted but calling another "cutie" is already enough. We officially ended a month ago. We were together for 2 years and 5 months.
in the end, I learned not to meet the guy's family (especially the sisters), if I'm unhappy I should just leave and not cheat, and lastly, Kev is a lying cunt. He liked to remind me of my crimea but whenever I bring up his, he would always say "I didn't fuck her. You actually went and fucked Danny!" Yeah, he made me felt like shit
I know I made many mistakes in this relationship but damn, my life revolves around him. Idk how to function without him by my side... I should just stop talking to him, huh?
p.s. No, I never stopped thinking about Stan. He was my first love.
Tags: breakup family sister cheating drama mexicans will always believe their daughter
This is a really looong story.
Due to mutual friends, I was introduced to this guy. Lets call him Kev. We were only 15. We talked everyday on the phone. I had a feeling that he might like but I shrugged it off as I only saw him as a friend and I was still heart broken from my previous break up with "Stan". I loved Stan with all my heart and I still do! Anyways, after getting to know Kev, he asked me to be his gf 6 months later but I rejected him cause I couldn't get over Stan. Then we got into an argument about something stupid and stopped talking for about 2 months. He approached me when we started talking again. By then, I thought I was starting to get over Stan so I gave Kev a chance. We started dating and I was so happy cause it felt like Stan was starting to fade away in my mind (he never did). 4 months into our relationship, we had sex for the first time. We were both virgins so neither of us knew what to do. Needless to say, it sucked. But I was okay with it at first cause sex isn't everything. However, everytime we have sex, it felt terrible. My friends would suggests things but they never worked! I, on the other hand, became quite the expert in oral sex cause of all the advice my friends gave me. After 6 months of trying, I couldn't take it anymore. I tried breaking up with him but it made me realized how attached I am to him. So we got back together. Shortly after that, his bitchy older sister, "Stacy", found out we're in a serious relationship. Idk what's wrong with her, but she was insane! First, she lied to her family saying I harassed her via texts and they believed her! I was banned from the house until the lie was falling apart. The next time I saw her, she was angry cause Kev told her I went to the movies with my ex "Danny". Danny and I were really close friends. Yeah, he was madly in love with me but I didn't feel the same way. We would talk on and off cause everytime when are going well, he think he'd have a chance, so I would stop talking to him for a while. Anyways, Stacy was furious that I did that. She threatened me and said she will kill my ass next time. I wanted to say something back so I would look like a spineless person cause I'm not at all, but Kev just told me to ignore her. BIG MISTAKE. After that, she probably think I was weak cause she kept threatening me. Family did nothing. All they ever say is to ignore her. Well I got tired of her and I was still sexually frustrated, so I talked to Danny about it. Note this, Danny was saving his virginity for me and he was already 18 at the time. One thing led to another, I ended up sleeping with Danny (he sucked too). I deeply regretted it and confessed my crime to Kev. He was angry but he was glad I told him. In the end, I chose Kev over Danny. Now, all that we've been through, Stacy is still harassing me. And I felt like Kev cared more about his friends and family than me cause he never stood up for me. He claimed he has but I call bs. So once again, I was fed up. Another friend who was also head over heels for me was there to comfort me whenever Stacy would verbally abuse me. Needless to say, I made another mistake. I, again, confessed my crime to Kev and he was beyond angry because they go to the same school so he knew him. Well I tried breaking it off with Kev but everytime, something calls me back. I feel terrible for what I did and Kev always reminded me... No, the harassing never stopped. We almost got into a fight once...(she's 3x my size). I stopped the cheating, I didn't want it to turn into a habit. But then I found out he went and hung out with my friend's twin in the middle of the night. "Supposedly" nothing happened, but the twin said he tried to get at her. Idk who to believed so I dropped it. When we were together for about 1 1/2 year, he took this girl to Comicon. I smelled something fishy but again, he claimed nothing happened. Third strike, I found out he was kiking this girl "Joey". The old messages were already deleted but calling another "cutie" is already enough. We officially ended a month ago. We were together for 2 years and 5 months.
in the end, I learned not to meet the guy's family (especially the sisters), if I'm unhappy I should just leave and not cheat, and lastly, Kev is a lying cunt. He liked to remind me of my crimea but whenever I bring up his, he would always say "I didn't fuck her. You actually went and fucked Danny!" Yeah, he made me felt like shit
I know I made many mistakes in this relationship but damn, my life revolves around him. Idk how to function without him by my side... I should just stop talking to him, huh?
p.s. No, I never stopped thinking about Stan. He was my first love.
Tags: Bad break up, I still love him, First love
Our relationship was totally unexpected. Last september 2013, a guy that I had a teeny tiny bit of a crush asked me out unexpectedly. No clues, No everything. Out of shock, I started freaking out. I don't know what to do. My mind screamed no, but heart says yes! The reson why i don't want to go on is because im scared of my mom. Like really. She's the definition of a really strict mom. i was scared but then a thought crossed my mind.
Why not accept this? Everything happens for a reason right?
That's when I said Yes. For the first 2 weeks it was amazing. The sparks, the giddy butterflies in my tummy were there until my mom found out about him. It was horrifying. My mom was in range. My mom threatened me to talk to him in school. I was scared. I told her that I promise to break up witj. So I did. I explained to him everything. After a day, things were back together. We decided to mend things back together. I mean we aren't officially dating but you know what I mean? You can sense that something's still going on? Yup, that's it. October came, he stole my first kiss. It was magical. All I could ever think about is that I love him. That everything revolves around him. Its like he's my world. He's my strength yet he is also my weakness. Everything in him is just perfect. The way he surprises me with kisses.. The way he brought Gatorade just for me (Gatorade is my favorite drink, i just love that shit lol)
It was perfect. Everything was perfect. There are even times when he makes silly jokes or I took glances at him in class and im like 'shit, I love this guy' I was soo inlove. It was just.. Perfect. I never been so happy in my life. Everytime I woke up he's all I ever think about. He's cute 'Good Morning's'.. It made me cry, thinking about all those happy memories.
When christmas break came, he told me that his wifi router got broken.. Me, being the understanding girl that I am, understands him. I told him it was okay that he shouldn't worry about me.
(We talk and chat in Kik. We can't text since my mom checks my phone all the time)
One time, back at christmas break.. I was looking at my chat box in facebook but Something totally made me stop in my tracks. He was online. And he was usinh he's phone. I messaged him, i did everything but noo, he wouldn't reply anymore.. I don't know why. Christmas eve came, I kept on looking at my phone hoping that maybe he'd greet me a merry christmas but no, nothing came. It broke my heart. But one thing crossed my mind. I was like 'oh maybe he's wifi router is still destroyed'
New year came, I was waiting. Waiting for him to atleast greet me but no, nothing still came. It hurt me. It Crushed me .. to millions of pieces. But there's one thing that made me ball my eyes out.. He's close friend messaged me in facebook. He's like;
Happy new year __ ! How are you and him? I hope that this year is going to be a big blast for both of you. Best wishes. Haha don't forget im one of your #1 Fans of LYN! hahaha cx
That totally made me cry. I mean out of everything why that? Why his friend.? Its really heartbreaking to know that he's friend greeted me, while him? No. There was no effort. It crushed me. The way his friend says he want us to be good this year. It break me.
School came along, i tried not to approch him. Waiting for him to atleast apologize or say Hi, or ask me how my christmas break went but nothing. He never did. It crushed me. The next day, I tried talking to him but he was distant like he really is. He's bestfriend approached me and told me he wanted to talk. I listened. He's bestfriend told me the truth. He met a girl back at christmas break. He went to the movies with her and ate in a restaurant. It killed me. I was paralyzed in my seat. My breathing hitched. My face paled. My mind went blank. I felt like crying but my tears wouldn't fall. My eyes feel numb. My skin is on fire. I feel like someone just throwed me a bucket of lava. Just like that. It crushed me. I've lost weight. Im not the happy girl like before. Every recess or lunch, I don't mingle with my friends anymore. I just stay in the classroom, facing the wall, got my phone out and stay there till' its over. It crushed me. I'm not the bubble person that I am before. But you know what hurt me the most? He acted as if I never exist. It was like I was invinsible. That he couldn't see me. Just like that. There are times that I break down in class. I just couldn't help it. He looks soo happy without me. Huge smile in his face. And well, I also think that he has a crush on this girl.. He craves for her attention. He sits with her all the time in class. He talk about her all the time. I don't know what to do. Its killing me since we are classmates. I could see him everyday. Its hard to ignore him. It really is. It broke my heart. he is the love of my life. He's my everything. He's the only reason why I smile. Its hard. I mean he is after all my first love. My first ever boyfriend. My first kiss. It hurt me to know that another that I love, would leave me again. Like my dad. He left me. I mean sure, I got to see him and everything but it isn't like before. My dad has another daugther who is my half sister. My dad loves her so much. He wouldn't even bother to talk to me anymore. He wouldn't crave for our communication. When me and my dad's girlfriend fight, he always take her side. It kills me. Another guy who I love would leave me again. Wow, What did I do to deserve this? It kills me. Its almost a month now but im still not over him. He's all I could ever think about. I don't know what to do. I want the real me to be back again, but it wouldn't. Its hard to smile. He looks soo soo happy without me. It break me into millions of pieces. It made me realize that love is shitload of bullshit. I honestly don't believe in love anymore. I mean why? No matter how loving or caring that person is to you, they will break you in the end. Those people out there that are experiencing heartbreak, don't worry. Your not the only one. Im trying my hardest to stay strong. Let's just believe in ourself, have faith in God. And never say never
Tags: First Love
So i met this guy durring my summer before college, but i said that i didn't want to date anyone. We started as friends hanging out and watching movies. But as a couple weeks passed we started dating. We dated for about 3 or 4 months. I was a college half an hour away, and he stopped talking to me. No messages, no texts. He would ignore me for days, sometimes hours. To busy with his friends i guess. He completly closed up and wouldn't talk. I tried a lot and finally i had to break it off. It was tearing me apart, always wonder what was going on, and what i had done wrong. I has been a month and i still want to cry, and it makes my heart physically hurt. If anyone had any advise for getting over your first real love, please let me know.
Tags: Bad breakup, emotional, love
My girlfriend I dated for just over a year broke up with me last week. She was my best friend in the entire world. Ever since birth we were best friends, she called me late at night last year and told me some guy was gonna ask her to prom and she couldn't say no but didn't want to go with him. I asked her over the phone. That night we went back to her house and watched movies after the dance. She told me how she was so thankful I asked her and how much fun she had.. And I kissed her.. It was quiet for a while and she hugged me and we cuddled the rest of the night not saying anything. A couple days later I brought her flowers and asked her out. She said yes. We were so happy for the next year, we promised never to stop talking, we hung out all the time, if she needed anything I was there. Then she got some new friends.. We started fighting for the first time in our relationship but we got over it and I loved her even more, but the day after our senior prom she told me she just didn't like me any more. I dont understand but I told her that I loved her one last time and gave her what she wanted. A few days later I realized I couldn't live without her I had gotten drunk for the first time in my life to try to ignore my feelings but nothing worked. I texted her amd told her I missed her... She said she missed me too.. We talked for a few days and I asked to see her again. She didn't respond to my texts or calls for a week. I texted her again a few days ago. I told her I missed her and that we should at least be friends. She said she misses me too. I asked to see her and she hasn't responded. I found out today she has a new boyfriend and she cheated on me for a month with him. But that's not the worst part. The worst part is I still loved her, I always will, and there's nothimg I can do about it
Tags: First Girlfriend, Betrayel
Hello everyone. My name is Keller Connley, and this is the story of how my first girlfriend broke my heart. It was freshman year, and the homecoming was coming up. I was very desperate and asked a lot of girls to come with me, but they all said no. Finally, I asked this girl who I had only seen a few times during school, and she was in my math class. So, a week before homecoming, I asked her, and she said, "I'll, think about it." The next day, she told me yes I will go with you and gave me her number. Later that night, when we were texting, she told me that she had a boyfriend. I was shocked, since I would have never asked her if I had known. She said to not worry, because she wanted to break up with her anyway. So she did that, and a few days later we were going out. Homecoming was extremely fun and I had a great time with her.
So, during our time together, we did things, like go to the movies and hung out at my dads place. We didn't go all the way, since we were in ninth grade and both Christians. The furthest I went was halfway between 2nd and 3rd base.
We did this for eight months, but I started to realize that there were cracks in the relationship. We stopped spending every second of school outside of class together, and we also didn't text as much as before, since I had broken my phone.
The straw that broke the camels back, however, was in fact my best friend for 3 years. He got jealous, and somehow convinced me she was cheating on me, and convinced me to give him her number. That was on Sunday May 6th 2012. She confronted me the next day, and started asking me weird questions. Apparantly, my friend had told her lies, such as that I watched gay porn, and that I had my eyes on this black girl in school. I dismissed these lies, and life was normal again. However, on May 12th and 13th, when we talked over the phone, she told me that she had feelings for my friend. On May 14th, when school started, she broke up with me, and shattered my heart. I later found out that she had asked out my friend no more than 19 minutes later. My birthday was that Saturday.
For the following 2 weeks, I broke down in tears many times, both in and out of class. She in my opinion is being controlled by him because he has threatened me with violence, and the few times I have been able to speak to my ex, she tells me, " I shouldn't be talking to you. Randy is very jealous, and I don't want him to hurt you."
Now, since it's been almost a year, I am going to try and talk to her again. What do you guys and gals think I should do?
Tags: Breakup long term relationship
I was in a relationship since September of 2009 and it just ended recently, not to long ago, in May 2012.
I was confused, lost, in denial, anger. And I still am, it's been really hard.
I really thought he was the one, well I still do.
Me and him did everything together, I saw him everyday until late night and he would spend the night on the weekends quite often.
We went out a lot to the movies, the beach, Disneyland, and new places every weekend. He took me out to dinner almost every weekend, he did anything to make me happy.
We always spoke about the future, college, getting married, having kids, growing old together.
I just don't know what went wrong. One day, he suddenly wanted to break up because he is 'not ready to commit' and wasn't aware of the seriousness of our relationship - after 2 years, he finally decides he was too young to be in such a serious relationship.
And the worst of all, he never ever said anything about being unhappy with me until the day he broke up with me. He was hiding all his feelings from me, while I was being honest with him all along.
I just don't understand. To me, our love felt real. Like really real. I honestly feel like he is the one, still today after 5 months of being broken up. I still love him, I will always love him. He never did anything bad to me. He treated me like a princess, he was my best friend. We had so many good laughs and memories together. We were practically married. We were so comfortable with each other. Every one of our friends thought we were going to actually get married and when they heard that we broke up - they thought that I was the one who did it, but incidentally it was the other way around.
Every one thought he would never leave me, that he was so in love with me. And I thought so too, and I felt secure with him because I thought he was one of those rare guys who actually stays committed in a relationship. But I guess I was wrong.
It's just so hard, I'm trying to let go. But I think about him everyday, he was the only happiness in my life. Now I'm trying to find my own happiness, and I have managed. But nothing makes me as happy as he did. I loved him more than anything, more than my family. I know it was wrong of me, but it was true. He was my first priority and I was his. I never treated him badly, I never cheated on him, or anything. I loved him with my whole heart and soul and this is what I get in return? A broken heart.
I just wonder if he ever thinks about me. I wonder if he misses me.
Oh and we don't speak. Well atleast, he doesn't talk to me. From what I have heard is that he hates me because he realized that he missed out on life because of me ('life' referring to parties and drinking and what not). So he hates me because he didn't get to experience life the way he wanted to. Which is stupid because he knew what kind of relationship he was getting into since day 1. It took him two years to realize that he was missing out on life? We weren't missing out on life, I mean we didn't party like the way he does. Instead, we went on dates to new places every weekend. We had movie nights, dinner dates, etc etc. I mean we weren't a boring couple, we were always doing something. But I guess he just want to party and get smashed or something. Well that's what he's doing now from what I've been hearing.
I hope one day he realizes that he messed up, I hope one day he realiZes how wonderful our relationship was. I hope one day we can be friends again. I just miss him so much, and I know it's not good. I feel like I'm missing a part of me. And I know time heals all wounds, it has definitely been a bumpy ride in the last 5 months, some good and some bad times but I try to stay optimistic about the future.
Any advice?
Tags: No-O
My ex told me our relationship has become "platonic" We had been together for about 4 months. I was an ideal boyfriend in nearly every way, I'm funny, I'm decent looking, I'm a great cook, and I cooked several fine meals for her. I took her out to fancy restaurants, movies, and plays. I bought her flowers several times to surprise her, and even delivered them to her at work so her coworkers could all be jealous of her. There was one problem, I was bad in bed.
I was a virgin when we started dating. She knew this, because we had been friends for a while, so she knew not to expect much from me in the bedroom, at least at first. In spite of that I knew how to give her pleasure in other ways, and never failed to get her off.
When we finally had sex, I didn't have the problem that most guys have the first time. Instead of not lasting long enough, I didn't have an orgasm at all. I was hard, I just didn't finish. We had sex on three different dates, each time the same thing. I was getting better at it each time, less awkward, more satisfying for her, but each time I didn't blow, probably because she was obsessed with making me come, and it made me nervous.
The last time we had sex, I got her off three times, I stayed hard for so long, we just kept going until the early hours of the morning, until she literally passed out from exhaustion. But, because I didn't have an orgasm, she began to doubt herself and think that I didn't find her attractive.
I told her every day how beautiful she was, but still she somehow reached the conclusion that the fact that I hadn't gone from virgin to Peter North in 3 lays somehow meant she was to blame.
We were going to try one more time, but the day before that date I found out my mom was dying. We tried anyway, but I was to distressed and couldn't even get it up.
So now, my mom is on her deathbed, my bills are piling up because I have missed work, I am behind in my classes because I have been missing school, and my ex dumped me, not because I can't please her in bed, but because she doesn't think I get enough pleasure in bed.
I think she should have given me more time. I mean, 3 times isn't really much of a chance to prove yourself, especially if you start as a virgin.
Funny thing is, I'm not mad at her, I feel sorry for her, I was probably the best boyfriend she will ever have.
Tags: sad, depressing
My boyfriend (now ex) started dating in my first year of highschool. It was one of those highschool relationships that you see on the movies, and who every teenage girl hopes to have. We were together all through out highschool. He was so in love with me. Honestly, Im pretty sure I could of gotten away with anything and he would always come back to me. A lot of it had to do with the fact that we were eachothers first time and lust/love was being thrown around together. But at the end of the day we really did love eachother and we had something that some people will never ever experience. We were best friends. We knew every single thing about eachother. It was a relationship where I could take a crap infront of him and that wasnt a problem at all! haha! at one point he even moved away for half a year and still we some how made it work. But then, oh i forgot to mention he is a year older than me! anyways, he started university and I was in my last year of highschool. Thats when everything changed. We had always had our problems. his was honesty issues, mine where anger issues. But once he moved on, it was like we were completley different people! I know... if any of you are reading this you are probably thinking my story is pretty boring. he never cheated on me with my sister, or i never left him at the alter. We were just two regular people who were at one moment so in love... to not even knowing who eachother were. I guess im writing this because im so depressed and bitter with the reality of relationships and life in General. We ended up breaking up because our lives and our relationships became so routine. We new that we loved eachother but we were stuck making time to see eachother to make love with one another, to make sure we set enough time to have a phone conversation once a day, made sure we sent eachother at least 10 txts a day to make sure our days were going alright. It was horrible and I was unhappy, and because I was unhappy we fought... all the time. So those "dates" turned into a boxing ring. So eventually I had to end it. that was about around last christmas. I didnt blame him, nor did I blame myself. I blamed our situation. He was in Univserity and leading a completley different life than me, I was enjoying my last year of highschool. But since we broke up, I have had a few flings, slepted with a random, tried to pretend that those guys could at some point mean something to me, but at the end of the day, it was always him, and I feel as if it will ALWAYS be him. But again, it hurts me so much to see how things change... it wasnt supposed to turn out this way. I am now moving to Europe in a few weeks for a year, he has a new girlfriend( who is horrible) and we went from being so happy and to not being able imagine our selves without eachother, to leading completley different lives without eachother in them. Am I still in love with him- Yes. most definatley... if he magicaly asked me to be with him again would i say yes-No. Definatly not. I wish i could of met him in 5 years.. thats what i always told him. I wish we met in a different life where we could be with eachother and love eachother completley without having such barriers set up between us, masking the love we had for eachother. I cry at night, i miss him every night. I dont want to leave without him touching me, kissing me, looking me in te eyes one last time. But i know thats not possible. i want him to be able to move on, all i want is for him to be happy. He deserves it.
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