Tags: Breakup, long relationship
We have yet to break up. Its hard but I decided to do it.. I'm just mentally and emotionally getting ready to do it...11 years down the drain because he doesn't know if he wants to be with me or not. I'm the dumb one for staying all this time and being delusional year after year waiting on him to propose. But nope. He doesn't want that. He doesn't even want to move in together... says he's not ready. See, my clock is ticking. I'm 35 now and I want a family. Yeah I should have probably left him after the 5 year mark. Maybe then I would have met the love of my life. Maybe I would already be a mom. Life is hard. I never imagined my life without him. I get so much anxiety thinking about the break up but it has to be done. I feel I won't be able to live without him but I gotta be selfish. I have to think about my future and find someone who is willing to wife me up.
Tags: Bad breakup, still loved back then
We had 2 months long relationship. Despite living in a homophobic country, we had great time. We used to sing a list of songs when we met, stare at each other for a long time. We both made mistakes, he did more. He started to be more rude day-by-day. I knew that his attraction towards me was decreasing. He made mistakes, i forgave him. Sometimes, because of his age, sometimes, because he had some problems. But, finally, i wanted to finish. I finished, though i still loved him. I think, in the end of the day, the most valuable person for your is YOU guys. You set your value in the society. If you love yourself, others definitely will. So, i had to decide so.
Tags: Bad breakup, Cruel, Depressive
About 2 years ago I met a girl that at the time I thought was the cutest and funniest girl I have ever met. We met through my brother because he knew her sister really well. She came down to my town for college and we really hooked up at the beginning, and I actually thought she could be the one. We had great time together, we played video games, watched movies, went out, all the classic things. And, I must be honest, I lost my virginity to her, and that first time for me was amasing, she really showed a lot of affection towards me and at the time I was quite a loner and she was practically my first real girlfriend. I did everything for her, just as she did everything she could for me.
The backstory of it all is that I suffer from depression and at the time I took antidepressives at a weekly basis because I was a wreck most of the time. With her I finally felt special,I felt needed and loved, the thing I most desired at the time. While I was with her I stopped taking antidepressives because I didnt need them when I was around her, but I never told her about my condition for I didnt want her to worry about it. After about a year and a half she stopped returning most of my phone calls, she stopped caring about me and she even despised the fact that I loved her. She would say things like, I never show emotions to other people, I am not a girl for long relationships and so on, even though she was the first one to say that she loves me.
One day I went to two funerals that were out of town, one was my cousins and the other a really good friend. I came home feeling really sad and I called her hoping she could make it better. She answered the phone, we talked a bit but she sounded all a bit too distant, I got mad at the fact that she cant give me any support in this, and after a brief fight over the phone, she said we should end it. At the time I actually supported the idea, because I felt no emotions that night, I was an empty shell, but when I laid down in bed I just broke, I cried myself to sleep.
I eventually took all the things I had at her place, and I moved on, the good thing that came out of it is that I dont take medication any more, I broke all contact with her because I felt that is was the change I needed at the time. Anyways, I feel better now, it all happened about a month ago, and it all seems so distant right now, all I can say for the end, Im happy for the good memories.
Tags: BOYFRIEND, GIRLFRIEND, STUPID, LOVE, SWEET, SAD, BEAUTIFUL, FOREVER, NEVER, HIM, HER, TOGETHER, HEART, SAD, HAPPY, CUTE, LOVE, HONEST, LIES, GUYS, GIRLS, HE, SHE, PRETTY, NEVER. NOW, CUTE. LOSER, JERK
Dear Forever, <3
You don't exist, never will you, never have you, only in the mind of someone blinded by love. Love isn't forever, If you have it you should know you are one luck person. 1 out of 1000 people find true love, I am not one of them sadly. Do I wish to be, yes I do indeed. Is it relevant you ask? Yes, completely honestly faithfully truly relevant from day one. You may say I had a typical relationship, did I think it was typical? Nope, I thought it was completely something irrelevant from that. I though he was different, you may say a lot of girls say that, but I believed it, dreamed it, thought it, loved it, carried it, and anything under the sun, blue moon, and starts, and the heaven above.. I loved him with all my heart. I'd do anything for him, yet all I could do was nothing. I started dating his cousin who I fell completely head over heels with. We only saw each other at school to be honest.. but I thought it was more than a fun, school romance. I thought I wanted him forever. Though he cheated on a girl 8 times to be exact, but more after that. I hated the girl, he cheated on me to be with her. He told us it was because we were alike, whoa there we didn't think that. I hated her, she hated me, I had the boobs, and butt, she had nothing. I was thick, she was... skinny, so skinny she has nothing. I had the cutest everything compared to him, but at the end she had him... and I was left with nothing from him but good memories from before. Did anything from before matter anymore? No. Did the fact I was better than her in body, to everything else? No. Because she had him, I wanted him, I wanted to be her, live her life, be where she is. She and I became friends, and talked all the time. We soon learned we were exactly alike nothing different. She and I, been through the same thing, going through the same thing, like the same things, almost exactly the same person. Except the fact we lived different lives, as in our on bodys. Even though we were almost completely the same person, I was still jealous of her for the longest. Because she had him? Nope, not this time. Because I thought she was better, prettier, which she was prettier. we may have almost been completely a like, but our appearance and body kept us separated. I was me, she was herself. Later, I got over him. I realized I deserve better, I need better, I want better, and better is what I will get. If she wanted to spend her life with him and get less than what she could have, need, or want, she can nobody will stop her not at all. Not me, her parents, herself, anyone. Not even him. As long as he could break her heart he was completely fine. Was she, yes because she loved him no matter what, kinda like I was. Later, I fell for someone else, that someone was him cousin. He was the same age as him, same grade, but different everything else. We never met, but we started talking June 3rd, We talked and talked, till we decided we liked each other. We had talk a lot before then, he was obsessed with the fact that he was in love with me, which if you promise not to tell, I loved that(;. I thought he wasn't. Till 06.12.11 the day we got together, we dated than 2 months later, we met. He had never kissed a girl, nor had a long relationship. I saw him that day, I was so nerves, so I paced back and forth at the mall.. I thought he'd see me and be like she's prettier on facebook... and things like I'm worthless. But of course as always he was such a sweet little cutie. <3 It was the best day. As time proceeded we didn't hang out til July 3rd Thunder Fest of course. As always it was the cutest thing. We dated til 5.5.12 Which was like a week and 2 days ago, 9 days to be exact. So, we dated for 11 months, almost. His birthday was May 11th. Of course on that day he was probably like, "It's my birthday I'll get high if I want to, can't deny that I want you, but I'll lie if I have to." - Drake lyrics. But of course he actually didn't want me. I've been thinking of him and I can't stop. It's my longest relationship, and I didn't want it to end. What do you thinks he's doing? Flirting with a new girl? Probably with a new girl? Hanging with a new girl? Doing better without me? Do you even think he thinks about me? Well, I wouldn't know. Want to know why? Because he wont talk to me. Everyday breaks my heart. I get by, by pretending no matter what day, hour, second, weather, or place he's thinking about me. He's dying inside, and I'm living under sunshine, and he's living in the dark shadowy days of breaking my heart. Sometimes I hope that whoever he is messing with now, as in flirting with.. they break his heart, but now I just hope that he's happy until "It's a beautiful day, and something reminds you, you wish you would have stayed." - Taylor Swift lyrics. And now that is the time I found out that forever only exist with a few people.
Love,
Nicole, <3
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