Tags: break-up, annoying, bad person
We were juniors in college when we finally started dating. We'd been friends for a few months and had attended some social functions on campus together. Unfortunately for him, Tom had a terrible reputation on campus, not for being a player or anything, but for being a terrible person in general. My friends constantly reinforced this information before I agreed to date him exclusively. I questioned him about the various rumors regarding him and his only answers involved: "I don't remember," or "That's all in the past." I was extremely skeptical that anyone could change that fast (we'd only been in school for a couple of years!) but I wanted to see who he was for myself so I agreed to go out with him. The next six months were filled with depression and anger for me for a lot for a lot of reasons. For one thing, he would talk about problems we were having with a mutual female friend rather than talking to me about them. I didn't know I was in a threesome! He was a terrible communicator in general. When talking to his friends or an audience, he would be charming, but when talking to my friends or meeting my family, he was incredibly awkward. It wouldn't have bothered me as much if he were shy, but he was able to hold perfect conversations with complete strangers. On top of all this, I witnessed him lying to other people's faces, including his friends and family. Because of this, I knew for sure that he could not be trusted. Around the three-month mark, we exchanged "I love you's" and around that time, the little affection he was showing me was slowly wearing down. He never complimented me much anyway (except when we were making out), but those just stopped. Our time together was mainly spent making out once a week in his dorm even though I insisted that we should spend time talking and bonding in other ways. I guess he thought that because I was in love with him I was going to tolerate that. And I did for another two months before telling him that I'd been feeling neglected and that he wasn't keeping up his end of the compromise (He told me he'd be more open emotionally if I agreed to make out with him more). He told me it was hard and that that was the way he'd always been. No effort. No anything. He was the first person I'd done ANYTHING physical with and that was hard for me, but I was willing to try and compromise. He didn't try at all. During month six, I dumped him while we were on a walk. He was shocked. I did cry the weekend afterward, but I quickly realized how much happier I was without him in my life. I couldn't believe how being involved with him could make me feel so lonely and depressed. I've been single for a month now and while it sucks sometimes, I know I'm mentally in a better place now. I learned that it's better to be alone than with the wrong person.
Tags: Bad breakup
I fell for this girl when I was in the Marines. We both our first everything and we were together for over 5 years. I gave everything I had to her and supported her in every way possible whether it be financial or emotional. Without me she never would have finished school or accomplish what she accomplished. Her and her friends treated me horribly sometimes and I felt like I was never on the top of her list. Then one day she said she didn't love me and moved out. Her and her family completely disowned me and wouldn't return any calls or messages. I realize now she had her claws in me deep and was a bad person who used me. She got what she wanted out of me and left.
Tags: Break up
I dont know what to do. Here's my story.
I was friends with him for a year and a half before we got together. Even as friends, I knew he likes to manipulate people's feelings so that they do what he wants. He manipulated me into feeling guilty many times before and I knew he wasn't the man I was looking for. But my best friend got together with a guy I had a crush on and I was never going to get. He was recovering from his recent breakup with someone he had a long history with. So I started to go out with him.
It was my first real relationship (I'm 22). When I told my friends and family about him after a month, most of them told me they didn't like him. Some of my friends knew him from school, and warned me about being with him. I did break up with him because of that, but I also felt bad and ran back to beg for forgiveness the next day. It should've ended right there. But I was lonely and I don't like feeling I've been unfair to him.
Then for the next year and a half, we broke up numerous times and got back together the same number of times. There was never a time we were officially broken up for more than 10 days. A year ago, I told my friends and family after a break up that we were done and I never updated them that we got back together again. It was just too much drama and stupidity on my part. After most of the break ups, either of us would just begs the other for forgiveness and another chance. Because there were just too many times that had happened, I actually made a promise to myself that I won't say it again unless I meant it.
For the last two months, I feel that he's been neglecting me and mostly just spending all his time with the people at his business. I knew he really wanted make it a success, so I had gotten involved with his business too, but not helping him as much as he liked. But I was at the office ten hours a week or more until April when I had to concentrate on my exams. A few weeks ago, I realized that I'm nowhere near the top of his priorities, and he won't call or text me during the day because he's "too busy at work".
The catalyst for the break up was he promised to take me to see a movie, but he pushed it back time and time again, and I, being very considerate, allowed it. But that last time, I told him to set a firm date and time, but he just told me not to bother him about it, he's tired, etc. I broke up with him through text after I hung up. That was two weeks ago. I felt sad every day since then, I cry on and off all day and night and sometimes feel that my life is meaningless. But some days i feel fine.
I care deeply for him. We met up last week, and I pretended that I was normal and told him that we can be friends. Last night, I texted him whether I can drop by his place at night (he lives a 5min walk away) and talk. He told me not to. I guess he was right, cuz I just wanted to see him and see how he's doing. Like he isn't a bad person and I learned to be a better person because of him. I just feel that he didn't treat me right, especially in the last months. Maybe he just doesn't love me as much. But I had grown to care for him and think of him everyday during our 1.5yrs together. I think of him constantly and I get teary and cry all the time now.
I want to tell him why I broke up with him and ask why he agreed (we never had a conversation about this). I want to see how he's doing. I want to tell him that of he just changed how he treats me I would stay with him. I think all this time, I've just been wishing that he would change for me since I knew that him as himself is not who I want (am I confusing you? Lol). He doesn't contact me now unless its about his business or unless I texted him first. What should I do?
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