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Sam

February 05, 2016 @ (Malaysia)

Lets just take this as day 1, a healing stage, a blessing in disguise, making me stronger in time to come.
And so I just broke up with the love of my life, and this was happening again. I lost once, and now I lost another. What more could I sincerely ask for, when I had everything in the world to begin with. She's the first person that comes to my mind when I wake up, she's the girl I would be more than willing to buy gifts for. She meant the world to me and I had no qualms about anything. I was happy. I was really happy with my life and I didn't dare to ask for more. I didn't want to. There wasn't a need to. I only knew that I was in love. Deeply in love.
I am 19, and I know that there are cases in different pockets of the world that have been through this ordeal, probably much worse than mine. After all it's been 15 months only, nowhere close to marriages that have lasted for years (what a bitter moment for people like us). While I know we kind of ended on a good note and we could still be friends in the coming years, how am I supposed to treat her as a good friend, when I always saw her as my coming wife?
My mind's in a mess now, and Chinese New Year is around the corner. I really hope I recover soon enough to hide it from everyone else. I don't want my loved ones to be upset for me, I need to stay strong. I will be strong.

And all I need is strength in me.
I need you to be with me, god.