Tags: love, detachment
We were old school friends and had been, in those days, pretty close. Not long after I got out of my last relationship, he called me up out of the blue (we had kind of drifted apart) and asked me out. I had had the biggest crush on him when we went to school, so I agreed.
We had an amazing couple of months together. I had never been so in love with anyone I had ever dated. Then we had our first fight. It was a blur of misunderstandings, harsh words, and lots of emotion. We didn't talk for a few days.
It took all I had not to get emotional when I saw him again, but I knew if I did, he'd get defensive and things would just get worse. After we talked everything over (and we both apologized) I felt great. He told me he loved me and that I was the first girlfriend he'd had in quite a while that he felt semi-serious about. I felt closer to him than I ever had.
But then, he proceeded to spew some crap about how he'd been detaching himself from me and how he didn't think the relationship could work out because of it. Apparently, this so-called "love" he felt for me could be disregarded over our FIRST fight. He may as well of just ripped my heart out of my chest and stomped on it.
I broke up with him. How was I supposed to be with someone who could detach himself from me over one fight that I apologized for over and over again?
But then I felt bad. I loved him so much- what kind of person would I be if I didn't try again? I texted him, begging him to talk to me. Begging him to tell me why he didn't love me enough to get over this fight. Begging him to tell me why this wouldn't work out if it had been going so well up to that point. I don't beg- ever. His response? "I don't feel like talking right now- sorry." No matter how much I begged him to talk because I needed him to, he wouldn't.
So I said goodbye. Guys- if you don't really care, don't tell a girl she means the world to you and that you love her. Apparently, for my guy, I shattered his perfect image of me by actually having feelings and by being hurt by our fight. Terrible, I know.
Tags: 2
my ex and i had a perfect communication and he was an awesome boyfriend.. but unfortunetly he never had time to hang out outside of school much and well...now my question is.."how do you tell yur ex yur pregnant if both of you guys are still virgins??"..i honestly dont think he wud believe me and think i cheated on him..and why wud i do that if i care about him and love him??it sounds imposible because this doesnt happen to many people..and i kno the baby is his because hes the only guy ive everdone anything with besides kiss..i dont know what to do..my ex and i are good friends at the moment..i know he still likes me because he told some of my friends..he just didnt have time fur anything..he was a busy dude:/..my friends asked him,"what would you do or think if yur girlfriend told you that she got prego by you??" and he said that he doesnt believe in a girl becoming pregnant without sex..i feel like if he were to tell me to get a DNA test..i would get it, mail it to him and pack my things and raise my baby on my own..somewhere far like mexico maybe..because he denied it the day he made me get a DNA test..and beacuse he thought that low of me
Tags: Fresh experience 1
He didn't even tell me why it was over.We hang out in the evening at his work place(he worked at his cousin's barber shop)and I gave him a love card I had bought and written for him.He then disappeared for days and his friends couldn't tell me where he'd gone. I called him 3 days later and he spoke to me casually, told me he'd travelled out of town. He'd return the next week. I didn't call him or go to look for him where he worked; thought he'd at least call me.When I decided to call him another three days later, it was the usual casual tone, then he pretended he couldn't hear me. I was so hurt, I hung up and sent him a break up text,asked him if I 'd done sth. wrong or if he heard sth. about me.Told him I didn't deserve the harsh treatment and how I had always felt he held back his full affection from me(this was true) blah blah blah. Then I asked him to confirm our break up.BUT HE DIDN'T EVEN RESPOND.Thank God I never slept with him, but I gave him my sinceremost care.It hurts that he couldn't even break up with me openly- treated me like trash.I just want to scream in his face or sth! I desire to have his reaction, to have him show me some emotion at least!But I believe we'll have a second seating:a second stage , different terms and the tables will turn.What goes around comes around , you know ,'malipo ni hapa duniani' - 'your rewards/what you deserve will meet you right here in this world/lifetime', says the swahili saying. For now I'm Just relieved to have shared this problem. It's halved.
I had moved to Ottawa to live with my mom when I was 16. Shortly after my 17th birthday I met this guy "D" who I fell head over heels with, my first true love so to speak. Though we never really branded ourselves as an "item", we did spend a lot of time together and would make out often. We told each other EVERYTHING. This would only last for a few months as my mom announced that we were moving back to Winnipeg. I was devestated, but me and him kept in contact while I was back in Manitoba.
Fast forward four years... I went back to Ottawa to see if we still had anything left from before. We were still close friends and told each other everything, but, he was not ready to commit to me or anyone, I was crushed but wanted him in my life in some capacity even if we were just "friends". Then it happened, some one made up a story about something I did and he believed it. We had a huge fight and he vowed he never wanted to see me again. I went back to Winnipeg again with a broken heart.
Over the next decade I ended up getting married and having a son, but my thoughts would always roam to "D". Sometimes fond memories, sometimes anger, but a huge piece of my heart still belonged to him.
My "husband" turned out to be a chronic cheater and we were in the process of ending our marriage. I had gone online and ended up talking to one of my old friends from Ottawa and the topic of "D" came up and I had mentioned that I missed "D". My friend had to go offline as did I but we ended up online again later that night, this time he brought "D" into our conversation.
"D" and I talked that whole night, and every day since then. We STILL had feelings for each other and I flew out a month later for a visit. It was amazing, we laughed, we talked, we kissed, we made love, and we cuddled.
For seven months we did the long distance thing, then I took the big plunge and moved to Ottawa for the third time, this time it's been four years together, we are in the midst of planning our wedding and our future lives together.
I know that this was not a break up story per say, but I wanted to show that you can break up a few times before getting it right. A break up doesn't always have to be forever.
Tags: cold breakup
I'm a member of a singles group, a dating agency, basically, and while this was not the most hurtful breakup, it was a pretty cold one. After a month of really great dates and lots of encouragement (from her) for more of the same, the day before a dinner/dance event she slammed me with the revelation of another guy. I absolutely didn't see this coming. Not that we were exclusive, but every bit of feedback I was getting suggested she was focused only on us.
So she called me and in a very business-like way, proceeded to explain that, “The program is set up so you can date other people…” There were no kind softeners. No, “I really like you, but…”; no, “I’ve had a great time with you, but…”; nothing, nada, zip. Just, here are the rules and I followed them.
Then, twice she said, “I wanted to call you myself and let you know, so you didn’t hear it from someone at the group.” Excuse me? What half-mature adult wouldn't call personally to break off a relationship? Newsflash: there's nothing righteous about doing something that's simply responsible. The entire breakup felt like the severing of a business relationship, which makes sense, because she's a corporate officer.
Finally, I wrote her a follow-up e-mail, in which I thanked her for letting me know about this personally (dummy!), and wished her love and happiness. She never replied. Wouldn’t one at least respond in kind, if only briefly? Example: “Dear (you), I wish you love and happiness, too.”
Oh well. The Zen master teaches to disapprove of the action, but not of the actor. Perhaps, but if she becomes available again, I don't have to date her.
Tags: example 1
not really a break up but here it goes... so i'm 13 and don't give me that focus on your studies crap... I've never been much of a G.F. B.F. type of guy but when one of the hottest girls at the school starts trying to talk to you, you dont just turn down the offer. So it starts off great but its just talking never dating. Then about 2 months later still just talking no dating and im beginning to question our relationship and if we'll ever be more than just what we had been. She tries to tell me we will but she's nervous. I believe her but im still skeptical. About a week later what do you know she says we should stop talking and that she sees me as just a friend. She has no new boyfriend or is event talking to anyone she just got tired i guess. "500 days of Summer" without the happy ending. I now know what it feels like to be heart broken...
Im 15 and my girlfriend broke up with me because i told her she dint make me happy. I said mean things out of anger and i never meant them. She knows that and i told her id change if she takes me back. But she likes this other guy, but she dint break up with me for him. She wants to know if he likes her, and she said that if he doesnt she'll come crawling back to me. She wants to know if ill take her back if he doesnt like her. I want to, but when i think about them dating it makes me want to tell her no. I just dont know if ill take her back or not. And i need some advice on why i should or shouldnt. It just makes me feel like a back up. I still love her and she still has feelings for me. Shes gona ask him monday and today is saturday. I just need some other peoples perspective on this. Thankyou.
this is long SO, im 21 and a girl ive been with for 18months, shes 18. but ive known her for about over 3 years now we met online and immediately connected and liked her i couldnt stop thinking about her even when she stopped talking for a year and got a bf i also had gotten a gf but after all that somehow perfect timing got us to start talking again when we were both recently single and after a few months i fell even harder and we decided to be in a relationship.
anyway she recently came up to stay for new years eve cause she knew itd mean alot to me, a couple days before new years she decided that Me asking her why she wasnt saying much and just moping around was a good reason for her to decide to leave and rip up some heartfelt things i gave her infront of me and say were over as soon as she gets back home etc. but during the days between then and when she actually left 1day before new years, she said she loved me and held, kissed me we had sex etc. but when she got back she blockd all communications with me so about a week after unanswered txts i added her best friend of 7 years to suss something out cause they havent been friends since a few month ago, i immediately found out that its because My ex was talking to and seeing a guy her ''friend'' was hooking up with behind her back, which was also behind my back. and they are already in a relationship and all that shit so she had been lying to me and cheating for a good few weeks i'd say. we promised eachother from the start even though she lived in another state it wouldnt just be another fuck around and the feelings were real and i would just move there anyway we only saw eachother a few times in person but i was still happy loving her and was serious even if it was hard sometimes i just thought that it'd make it all the more better when we were finally together all the time and i was nearly about to make that happen before she did this. she tried blaming her friend for pushing those 2 closer together becoz her friend pissed him off when she was screwing with his head but thats no excuse to go and start fucking him and dating him she should have stopped talking to him when her friend did. people will tell me too bad and that it was the distance thats a problem but i dont think that makes a difference after 18months ive been really hurt before but this managed to top everything else cause im just so sure about this girl and couldnt have feelings for someone else if i tried i cant move on, if you knew half of the things shes said and promised to me and made me youd be just as shocked as i am for what shes done. i dont know how someone can just erase that amount of time with someone they said theyd be with no matter what just like that asif i was nothing and i had never and would never cheat on her. i have to cry myself to sleep and im sick of it and im stupid enough to hope she'll come back like she did before because i have theories that the guy only did it becoz he wanted to piss her friend off for fucking around with him but if they bould BOTH do that to me n her friend then they must be perfect for eachother in a screwed up way and im guessing it will fuck up soon and she'll be alone and regret it because i know he can't love her atleast not like I do if i'm still dumb enough to want her even after what she's done cause i feel empty im used to having txts and msgs etc. from her every morning day & night and it just kills me to have those images of them in my head i can never get over it so all i'm gonna do is wait until she stops ignoring me.
Tags: crazy, controlling, delusional
Years ago, my best friend began dating a girl that he worked with. It started off okay, but after about a month she told him a sob story and he let her move in with him. That started four years of psychological torture. He found a better job, got a house for her, expensive furniture and electronics for her. She dictated his life - he would have to lie and sneak around to have lunch with me, a best friend from school days, like it was something naughty. She was constantly telling him how much she hated him and how worthless she thought he was. She began attempting to stab him - the first time was because he brought her breakfast in bed and forgot the orange juice. She would never let him be in a room by himself, then complain that he never let her have the life she wanted. She told him to propose, but he could never bring himself to buy the $10,000 ring she had to have. She would with-hold sex for months at a time and he never once cheated on her. She kicked him out of the house he was paying for thirteen times in the four years they were together and during the last time, she got back together with her meth addicted ex and he started rediscovering his balls.
At that point, he and I reconnected by starting to work out together again (he used to have the most fantastic set of abs, but his ex was a little overweight and would accuse him of working out just to make her feel bad about her body). She started constantly calling and texting him (he was still paying for her phone bill and gave her three months after the break up to get another phone set up before he shut it off), alternatively wishing him happiness and berating and belittling him. Once the phone got shut off, the e-mails started - angry and demanding money from him. We grew closer in this time and now, a little over a year after their break up, we've decided to get married. I'm not sure how she found out, but she sent him a very angry e-mail (after many e-mails saying she was happy he was dating me and wishing us well) accusing him of cheating on her with me and basically telling him that he should have made himself available as her backup plan. And yet, he still can't justify blocking her e-mails (he refuses to even consider giving her his new phone number, though). He still has the patience of a saint, though we're still working on rebuilding his self-esteem.
To MaryAnn, and the rest of you! Thanks for the link to this site, but none of this is news to me; between Facebook and MySpace, I know all the crap you sneaky little twits are always pulling on each other. Nice to see how much office time you people waste on the internet when you're supposed to be making me money!
Jessica killing herself may have been tragic. But, we all knew her clock was wound a little too tight for the corporate world so it was probably just a matter of time before she cashed in her chips anyway.
As for Tiff's little deception, well, I require an aggressive attitude by my salespeople. Those who succeed in this world are those who are willing to do whatever it takes to win! Not only do I admire her grit, but also her unconventional tactics. I will probably give her a raise! Mary, you should spend more time reading Sun Tzu, and a hell of a lot LESS time meddling in other peoples private affairs!
NOW, all of you assholes GET BACK TO WORK, before I fire the lot of you!
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