Searching for "realized"

96 Results For 'realized'

John

November 14, 2013 @ (New York)

My girlfriend I dated for just over a year broke up with me last week. She was my best friend in the entire world. Ever since birth we were best friends, she called me late at night last year and told me some guy was gonna ask her to prom and she couldn't say no but didn't want to go with him. I asked her over the phone. That night we went back to her house and watched movies after the dance. She told me how she was so thankful I asked her and how much fun she had.. And I kissed her.. It was quiet for a while and she hugged me and we cuddled the rest of the night not saying anything. A couple days later I brought her flowers and asked her out. She said yes. We were so happy for the next year, we promised never to stop talking, we hung out all the time, if she needed anything I was there. Then she got some new friends.. We started fighting for the first time in our relationship but we got over it and I loved her even more, but the day after our senior prom she told me she just didn't like me any more. I dont understand but I told her that I loved her one last time and gave her what she wanted. A few days later I realized I couldn't live without her I had gotten drunk for the first time in my life to try to ignore my feelings but nothing worked. I texted her amd told her I missed her... She said she missed me too.. We talked for a few days and I asked to see her again. She didn't respond to my texts or calls for a week. I texted her again a few days ago. I told her I missed her and that we should at least be friends. She said she misses me too. I asked to see her and she hasn't responded. I found out today she has a new boyfriend and she cheated on me for a month with him. But that's not the worst part. The worst part is I still loved her, I always will, and there's nothimg I can do about it

The Truth

May 09, 2013 @ (Louisiana)

Tags: Thruth, online

For the past 2 years I've been in an online relationship. My ex would always make sure I would never dishonor her trust in any way or shape. So I I'd just that for these two years. This year was my hardest year yet. With personal issues, college, and general life matters knocking at my door, I have been through hell. Then I notice my ex starts acting funny. I ask her what is wrong and she refuses to tell me. I guess if she has feelings for someone else and she said yes. Then proceeded to put said person above me and even defend him when it hit the fan.

I can never claim to be perfect. And I never will claim to be perfect. However, to have that happen on top of what has occured for me this year has wounded me immensely. I tried to reconcile and stop the eventual break up though. By constantly apologizing if only to allow us to be together again. Yet she would just blame my faults on her extremely poor and hurtful choice, and never once apologized for it or asked to work through it. Eventually I realized how dead I was to her and broke it off. The truth is that my decision was necessary because what would stop her from doing it again? More over, what would it take to feel remorse? Should I have to deal with all that with everything I've dealt with this year? So I broke it off and look towards my future. A future with family, friends, and in time, a girl I can give my heart to that deserves it. Not someone who admits the truth then lies right there after to hide the shame brought upon it.

My ex was too immature to understand how much she hurt me. By blaming me for her mistakes instead of being a woman and owning up to them, she brought this on herself. Just because she does not value herself to admit the truth does not mean the truth does not exist. I plunged my hands into the filth, while she jumped into it and refused to leave it. I cannot be with someone like that. As much as it hurts to admit it I can't, because I would have never done that to her. No matter how bad I have felt. I would have never betrayed her.

Breakfastclub

February 27, 2013 @ (Kansas)

Tags: exbf, manipulator, liar, selfish

My ex boyfriend and I broke up about 2 and a half years ago, but all this time we never stopped talking. We remained in a sexual relationship all this time. During this time he treated me poorly, then we would fight and then he would treat me better... until the next fight. He always knew what to say and how to act to calm me down and convince that he cared for me. During this time he talked to 3 other girls, and in all the occasions I told him I didn't want to talk to him anymore, but he would insist in staying in my life. We had a bad fight in all three occasions and then once things started not working out with the girl he would apologize saying he recognized he didn't treat me well. I have asked him several times to stay away, to let me go, and he would for a couple of weeks but then he would come back and I was enough of an idiot to let him back in. Well in December I told him we should stop seeing each other, then he said "ok" but soon started messaging me saying he wanted to see me once I got home from Christmas break. Then we hung out a couple of times in January, but then he started being really rude to me so I told him to not talk to me anymore. We hadn't talked to me in a while and then I (was being stupid again) texted him saying I was ok with us not talking but I wanted to understand why. Then he replied "get over me, i'm talking to a girl in high school" (detail: we are both 22 and college students). I laughed because that's just pathetic. Well the next week I saw him at a dance at our college, and I was a little tipsy and in a bad mood and angry at him so I walked by him and pumped into him. He texted me all angry, but then the next morning he was being all sweet saying I look beautiful at the dance and that he wanted to see me. So I said "what about your high schooler?" then he replied "Oh I lied, I just said that to piss you off". I knew he was lying about that, I know he actually talked to her and I knew she had probably dumped him already. Well,I didn't let him come over to my apartment. I didn't want to see him at all. Then I realized on his twitter that he was talking to her again so I asked him "why did you lie about not talking to her?" then he answered "i don't have to explain anything to you" (wow, dick). Well after that we talked a couple more times and then I noticed there was nothing wrong because of some things he posted on twitter. Then we were talking and he said someone screwed things up. Well it was obviously her. Then a few days later I drove by his house (which is right across from my apartment) and I saw a car there, so I asked if it was hers and he said yes. Well I got pissed out and said terrible things to him. We argued bad, I told him he was nothing to me, and I regretted having let him in back in my life so many times, he got really mad when I said that and then he told me he didn't want to talk to me anymore. Then the next day we argued again and this time he told me "shut up, don't talk to me, don't talk about me, and don't talk about her". I know I screwed up in a few aspects, but in no way I'm blaming myself for what did. He lied to me several times, and he manipulated me to get just what he wanted. He is the most selfish and egocentric person I have ever met. All he thinks is about himself. Now that he is happy with her there is no way in hell that he will apologize for the mean things he said to me. What I heard is that she is a little high school slut, so I guess she is a good fit for him. I know I deserved some of it, but he was never considering towards my feelings. We were still kinda up in the air, and he knew I had feelings for him, and he didn't understand when I tried to explain why I was mad/upset. He pretty much said "this is your problem, not mine, deal with it". This last couple of weeks have been tough, but I will not let him bring me down. I am starting to see that I didn't lose anything, I actually won, because I got rid of an abusive, manipulative boy and now I am free to find a man, who can care for me and be what my ex could never be.

N\a

February 20, 2013 @ (narnia )

Tags: can't even

I don't really know why I felt compelled to do this, but i mean why not. basically, me and this guy were together for about 10 months and i've never been more comfortable around a person ever. stupidly, i thought we were "perfect" for each other if there is such a thing but i was happy and i had let my guard down... which was also stupid because i know that only leads to being even more hurt at the end. anyways, everything was great and i'll always appreciate everything he's done for me but he's now lost every single ounce of my respect. I realized he began to change over the summer and there were several red flags that the relationship was going downhill. but of course, i didn't want it to end so i dealt with more bullshit than i ever should have put up with and i realize that now. but oh well, can't change that. come september (i think..) we had both changed. for me, it was due to an excessive amount of stress. school had just started again and my family problems had begun to escalate once again so obviously i wasn't myself but i thought i had him there to fall back on considering that's what i was led to believe. we started getting into arguments more often, sometimes my fault, sometimes his; we were both at fault. but when we spent time together on the weekends, which he always kept pushing for, everything was fine and arguments were almost non existent. so of course, i wasn't thinking about how badly i was about to get dumped. not even a week before he broke up with me, he had asked me to our school dance a month away on a night we had spent outside with a fire and smores, and laughing blablabla. a day or two after that he had asked me to his cousin's birthday party, even further than a month away and i had gladly accepted both offers. this gave me reason to believe that everything was gonna settle out again, i mean who wouldn't think that right? A couple days later, he dumped me & the night before that he told me that he still "loved" me (quotes because i hate that word). As he was breaking up with me, he was crying and gave me three excuses as to why he was doing it including stress sports and family pressure and he couldn't balance me in the equation. he also dropped the "but we're best friends. we can still be best friends" bomb on me at the same time and demanded hugs from me and also said that the past two weeks didn't feel the same to him. sometime during that two week period he had snuck over from about 1 in the morning till 6. honestly, i'm still confused about everything. & it gets worse. he texted me THREE times that night asking how i was and telling me about his family arguments and whatever and i was just like um what.

DT

February 19, 2013 @ (Bulgaria)

Tags: break up

Hey guys :) i've read some of your stories and i guess mine isn't as tragic but it still hurts... It all started the day after a friend's party me and 3 guys were kicked out of the house at about 8 in the morning and we decided we were hungry. So we went to Dunkin'Donuts. There we started talking and i realized how much in common we had with K[my ex]. After that we hadn't paid much attention to eachother but we started chatting on facebook. We got closser and closser with every single day we always chatted and when we weren't near a computer we texted. So on march 28th 2012 we started dating ^^ Everything was perfect we were always together we had mutual friends and everything was perfect... i was so HAPPY :)... i even gave my virginity to him ... But then things got bad... we started seeing eachother less and less... he stopped calling me or whatever... if i didn't write to him or call him he never would... he prefered to go to his pottheaded friends then be with me :). So the first time i hadn't heard from him for a week i told him that i want attention i know he's been on the computer i've seen his facebook posts FOR GODS SAKE! And he just looked with those puppy eyes said he was sorry and everything was right again :)... but no.. it happened again... and again... On the third time i asked him how would he feel in my place? What would he do? Did he know that i felt like i was there just so if someone asked him if he had a girlfriend he'd say yes? He just stayed silent... After that day ended i went home and i was expecting atleast a phonecall from him to bring me back.... Nope! Not even a message... So i wrote: after everything we've been trough i didn't even get one message... he called me. The same thing happened i talked he stayed silent... we said we'd meet... We did the samme thing and after the hundret time of me asking him what should i do and how does he think i feel he said i hope we stay friends.... The sad thing is 4 months after the break up i already have a new boyfriend that does EVERYTHING for me and treats me like a princess and i still can't get HIM out of my mind... and what hurts even more is that he doesn't give crap about me :) So i'm forced to see him everyday at school and act happy and fake...

Nikki

December 23, 2012 @ (Cambridge, MA)

Tags: Coward

T got depressed in October & wouldn't see me for six weeks. My father died Nov 6th. Nov 14th was my birthday. 1 1/2 weeks later, T disappeared without explanation, not answering my calls & messages. I was depressed after my father's death, I'm very insecure, and I'm used to the people I care about disappearing. Due to these factors, I interpreted T's absence as he didn't want to talk to me. After about 10 days, I finally sent T a text asking why he wasn't answering my messages, that he said he cared about me, & I missed our conversations. The next day, T answered that he'd been away without a phone signal. He said no one else was upset by his absence (no one else was used to daily contact with him!), and that he was uncomfortable that I'd assume something negative about him. I explained about my depression & insecurity. T said he understood, that he wasn't upset. He wrote a bit about his Thanksgiving, sent a joke, and then a smile when I joked in reply. I thought everything was OK. But then I didn't hear from T again. I wondered if T had gone away again. I was also worried~ I didn't know if he was dead or alive. After about a week, I went to T's place, and was shocked to find that he was at home. I suddenly realized that I'd been left for no reason, and that T didn't even tell me, had in fact led me to believe that everything was all right between us. I rang the bell. T wouldn't come down. I rang the bell for a while, and T called the police! Not only was T not man enough to come down and tell me what was going on, but he wouldn't even tell me that he didn't want to talk to me. T said that he had very strong feelings for me, that he loved me. He said we were friends, and our friendship was the most important thing. T had also told me that he'd never forget how I was there for him when his father died. He dumped me 2 1/2 weeks after my father's death! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KXi2vHrT-kU&list=HL1356282746

Bon

November 05, 2012 @ (United States)

Tags: Heartbroken

I was in a 2 year...almost 3 year relationship with a guy i met and fell in love with. I was 17 at the time so i was young and astonished by how this guy filled up every stupid immature void in my heart. Im 20 now...almost 21 and his friends took him in again and im left to rot. I was always alone while he went to the bar or smoked with his friends. I had friends but didnt know how to go and hang out since i was so used to my boyfriend and putting him first was a must. Today, i had enough. i was with my friends having a great time while he was with his friends. I realized today that my happiness is precious and nothing in this world should interfere with that...so i broke up with him...i mean theres more to it than just an urge to breath and be alone. I know im gonna miss him and i know itll hit me eventually but ill be okay...I have my friends and family. His past got in the way anyways. Im in college, almost done, im ready to take the next step with my life. Its okay right? ill be okay.

Jordyn

October 19, 2012 @ (California )

Tags: Breakup long term relationship

I was in a relationship since September of 2009 and it just ended recently, not to long ago, in May 2012.
I was confused, lost, in denial, anger. And I still am, it's been really hard.
I really thought he was the one, well I still do.
Me and him did everything together, I saw him everyday until late night and he would spend the night on the weekends quite often.
We went out a lot to the movies, the beach, Disneyland, and new places every weekend. He took me out to dinner almost every weekend, he did anything to make me happy.
We always spoke about the future, college, getting married, having kids, growing old together.
I just don't know what went wrong. One day, he suddenly wanted to break up because he is 'not ready to commit' and wasn't aware of the seriousness of our relationship - after 2 years, he finally decides he was too young to be in such a serious relationship.
And the worst of all, he never ever said anything about being unhappy with me until the day he broke up with me. He was hiding all his feelings from me, while I was being honest with him all along.
I just don't understand. To me, our love felt real. Like really real. I honestly feel like he is the one, still today after 5 months of being broken up. I still love him, I will always love him. He never did anything bad to me. He treated me like a princess, he was my best friend. We had so many good laughs and memories together. We were practically married. We were so comfortable with each other. Every one of our friends thought we were going to actually get married and when they heard that we broke up - they thought that I was the one who did it, but incidentally it was the other way around.
Every one thought he would never leave me, that he was so in love with me. And I thought so too, and I felt secure with him because I thought he was one of those rare guys who actually stays committed in a relationship. But I guess I was wrong.
It's just so hard, I'm trying to let go. But I think about him everyday, he was the only happiness in my life. Now I'm trying to find my own happiness, and I have managed. But nothing makes me as happy as he did. I loved him more than anything, more than my family. I know it was wrong of me, but it was true. He was my first priority and I was his. I never treated him badly, I never cheated on him, or anything. I loved him with my whole heart and soul and this is what I get in return? A broken heart.
I just wonder if he ever thinks about me. I wonder if he misses me.
Oh and we don't speak. Well atleast, he doesn't talk to me. From what I have heard is that he hates me because he realized that he missed out on life because of me ('life' referring to parties and drinking and what not). So he hates me because he didn't get to experience life the way he wanted to. Which is stupid because he knew what kind of relationship he was getting into since day 1. It took him two years to realize that he was missing out on life? We weren't missing out on life, I mean we didn't party like the way he does. Instead, we went on dates to new places every weekend. We had movie nights, dinner dates, etc etc. I mean we weren't a boring couple, we were always doing something. But I guess he just want to party and get smashed or something. Well that's what he's doing now from what I've been hearing.
I hope one day he realizes that he messed up, I hope one day he realiZes how wonderful our relationship was. I hope one day we can be friends again. I just miss him so much, and I know it's not good. I feel like I'm missing a part of me. And I know time heals all wounds, it has definitely been a bumpy ride in the last 5 months, some good and some bad times but I try to stay optimistic about the future.
Any advice?

Rogue

September 25, 2012 @ (ontario canada)

Tags: heartbroken, deserved it

Our love stories begins in September 2010. How fitting it ends now.

I will be honest and tell you that I didn't deserve his love the first year we were together and if I could find a way to take that time back. I would. A bit of history - he is 10 years younger than I (I am female). Although our maturity levels were in sync age (until recently) was never an issue. (It was something that troubled me. And because of that created unnecessary stress).

He worked full time, I was in school full time and worked two part time jobs. I have two children. One was 11 at the time the other 16. I had made the decision prior to even meeting him that I wasn't going to just introduce my kids to just anybody. I needed to know he was going to stick around. I didn't want to be one of those parents who bring partners in and out of their childrens lives. One year I told him when we met. I would introduce him after one year.

My family and friends disaproved of our relationship because it was interacial and because he was so young. I fell under the pressure. And ended it in December 2010. It didn't last long. We both loved each other and to end a relationship for others seemed wrong. Yet I always put my family and friends needs before his.

He lived 45 min away and was always ready willing and able to see me at the drop of a hat if I was free. Free time was something I didn't have much of and I soon began to resent the fact that all my time was consumed making someone happy, either my family, my children or him. I began to resent how much time he wanted from me.

I felt I had nothing to give in the first place. In May 2011 I noticed there was a girl he worked with that he was msging daily. I confronted him and he deleted her from bbm and facebook immediately no questions asked. The fact that I was uncomfortable made him do it. Why couldn't I do the same for him. I had a 20yr friend who made him uncomfortable and rightly so but I didn't do the same for him and he didn't push me. I know it hurt him.

I chose soding the back yard with family on a night we should have been together because my obligation to family was stronger to my obligation to him.

I could list several situations where this was the case. All of which now, I regret.

In july he lost his job. Money became tight and I found myself frustrated at the fact that he was playing video games all day while I worked my butt off just to make ends meet.

When september came time to meet the children my son had a death in his class, then his aunt was diagnosed with cancer and died shortly after. Excuses I know. But I wanted my son to be in a good spot prior to meeting him.

In december, he still had not met my son, still didn't work, was borrowing $$ from friends family and me who didn't have any to begin with. I ended things again.

Naturally we ended up back together in januay. But this time roles had switched. I realized how much I loved him and wanted to be with him and I was ready to share my life with him. Every aspect. The things I hesitated doing before I did without hesitation including getting rid of that 20yr friend. But now, he was distant. He was reserved. He was worried. I tried everything I could to make up for the wrongs that I had done.

The things he requested were unreasonable we both know it but I did it. Some of the things he asked me to do I am so ashamed that I did. Most, I will never tell a living soul because I am so disapointed in myself.

I hadn't seen him in 6 weeks. We hadn't slept together in 3 months, he was refusing to meet my kids still. Then on friday when I was supposed to spend the weekend at his house, he sent me a bbm msg while I was at work I am a manager of an employee and it was his first day. He didn't even give me a chance to respond before he deleted me on bbm. Blocked my emails and my phone number and I haven't heard from him since.

Why is it I love him so. Why is it I can forgive him anything now, but that first year we were together I couldn't give him what he deserved!

Angie

July 22, 2012 @ (New York)

Tags: dumb, young,

Well for starters, this happened a couple of months back and I'm completely over it.
My boyfriend at the time and I had dated for two years, straight out of high-school. We always got into constant arguments which up until today I should have realized that I should have let go from the beginning. He would always argue about how much I used to call him or text him but mind you we would barely see each other. He was in a different school and so was I. We had met through mutual friends. At the time I used to see it as absence makes the heart grow fonder...boy was I wrong. By the time we were both starting our first semester in college I realized that he was spending a lot of time with these two girls but I didn't put mind since I was actually paranoid that I was pregnant. Well turns out I was and had a miscarriage, I didn't find out until after so it didn't really affect me but when I was paranoid he didn't even bother to go with me to get checked out. Well I started noticing that some girl on Facebook was always commenting on his photos and on his wall and usually that doesn't bother me and I approached him about it and he stated "I would never mess around with her, she's pretty fat. I hate fat chicks" HA! yeah that was the girl he dumped me for on our anniversary.
The girl would then try calling and texting me threatening me AFTER she she found out that he cheated on her three times with me. It was bad in my part but hey...I was still in love I guess. I have no regrets, and now I just laugh it off at how young and naive I was. And basically for girls to read this and see that after a break up you can be strong never cry for a long time over a guy that isn't worth it.