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March 25, 2016 @ (Anywhere)

Tags: #surviving


I was in an emotionally abusive relationship. I never was interested in dating until 9 months ago. I am 20 years old and I am young, but I fell in love. To me he was perfect until one day he wasn't. He told me I wasn't attractive enough for him, that I was stupid, a whore, worthless, etc. None of which is true. My friends were confused what I saw in him, and I will not try to sound conceited, but I knew I was much better looking. He made his own insecurities mine, to hide how he really felt. I was so depressed, I lost almost 15 bs. I was never big. I was 5'6" and went from 122 lbs to 106 lbs in three months. It was unhealthy. The first time we broke up I was devastated. I didn't eat or sleep, my anxiety was so bad it overtook my life. I was so desperate to make things right that I drove him further away. There was a point where I couldn't leave my bed and my roommates were genuinely concerned about me. A month later we got back together. It was beautiful. I was so happy and he said he loved me all the time. However 2 months later, it crashed again. I am OKAY. I am here to tell you it gets better. We broke up two days ago, I cried yesterday, but that's okay. I feel liberated. I realized that yes, we love each other, but we both are too immature to be together at this point. Sometimes when a relationship ends, you need to take a step back and really look at it. He holds grudges, he mentally abused me, he never made sacrifices for me, which made me resent him. I realized that sometimes love isn't enough. Sometimes you realize that no matter how desperate you are to make things work, they just don't. I know it's hard to accept, heck I am struggling too. If it is meant to be it will be. Maybe it's just not the right time, but I can tell you that once you hit rock bottom you can go nowhere else, but up. I was at rock bottom, I lived and someone I am okay. I haven't bombarded him with texts begging him to take me back or whine how it isn't fair. I simply said I wouldn't contact him unless he contacted me and he hasn't. I will not reach out again. My best advice to anyone going through what I survived, as much as it sucks and as much as you want to reach out and be with them, cut them off. Take a real look at your relationship. Do you want to go back to it? Is it worth it? If it is, than fight for it and if it works, that's amazing, if it doesn't at least you'll know you gave everything you had. I can promise you it isn't easy, but it does get better.


       

Estf VLM

March 22, 2016 @ (200 Davisville ave)

Tags: Difficult break up..



I decided to write about how is my recently break up going. I know many of you are having the same situation as me, therefore I will explain how is my situation so you can understand me.

A year ago, 2015, I started dating a guy from a different culture, religion, way of thinking and more. We connected really well, at first it was like wonderland everyday, we talked for hours, went out, laughed, and more.. It felt like a real relationship full of confidence, truth, and more of it we respected each other. We did so many things together, I even started to learn his language, I changed so many things for him, The first 7 moths together were so perfect, I never though that he will change from one day to another.. He stated changing day by day, sometimes i felt like he was so bored to be with me, but other times i felt like he was so happy, I was so confused, even tho i never told him what i felt, he sometimes noticed i guess but never said a word. There were some days he came to me saying he wants to try a night with another girl, i swear he stabbed me every time he said that, but i couldn’t do anything, all i did was laugh like it wasn’t a big deal but it was. I hide so many times how i really felt because i didn’t want him to worry or something. I remember even he told me he could thrown me if I do something wrong, and many times he told me that his friends will always come first than me, I mean I was his girlfriend right?, why would he say stuff like that.. It was just too much but i never payed attention because I did not want to lose him, and I did anyways.

Anyways, a week before he broke up with me, he was acting so weird, I knew there was something but like always I didn’t pay attention. Indeed there was something, on a Tuesday, Jan 12, 2016, at 8pm he came to me and said he wanted to talk to me about something, there.. I knew he wanted to break up, my world just fall apart when he said it, he gave me some crazy reasons and I just played along. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.. Well after that, 3 days after I went to a party, and I remember i got so drunk, all because I found out he was already talking to another girl. IT BROKE ME…

A week after, he came again to me but not as he wanted to go back, he just wanted to make sure of some stuff, but neither of us could help it so we kissed, everything came back to HAPPINESS, only it was NOT.! He said I can’t control myself around you but I want to still being like this, only not as a relationship, I first said alright let’s try, but to be honest it wasn’t enough for me, he was like that with me but also playing with another girl, so i tried to stopped it and until now i couldn’t. I am still in the same situation, i feel like a stupid sometimes, thinking that he would change, but no, it is worse. he still is playing with that other girl, and I am still hurting.

I will never regret any of this, the only thing i regret is how blind I am.


       

Prvnce

March 13, 2016 @ (Florida )

Tags: bad breakups, heart broken


Growing up, I've never had a sexual preference. I was always afraid to tell people because I knew no one would understand. Then my 10th grade year in highschool, I met the perfect being, the "love of my life". We started talking December 28th and made it official January 1st at 12:04. We've had a bumpy road. I always was so used to being heart broken that I didn't know how to love anymore or even appreciate it when it's shown to me. But he sat there and he waited for me to open up to him and he was stern when he needed to be. Truth of the fact is, I wouldn't have this stronger state of mind if it wasn't for him. He was such an inspiration to my life. In my sophomore days he was a senior and was off to college. We was in a log distance relationship. He stayed in West Virginia and I stayed in Florida. We was going together for 8 months before I left him, because I thought I haven't loved him anymore. Then later that September we got back together and saw each other in person for the first time in October. We made a bond like no other. And one thing I remember is when he told me he don't ever wanna live without me by his side..."I need you in my life" He would say. We was going so fine until the day he got in college. I got less attention and began to beg him and antagonize him because I didn't understand that being in college is time consuming. He then began to pay his attention to other guys. After we had a talk about it we was fine for our 1 year anniversary "one year down forever to go." I still remember him saying. Little did we know forever was just about to end...as time flew by he began to loose interest in me. He would call me too gay and tell me he don't like the way I dance or the way I dress. He'll say he didn't like my body being a certain way, but he would always be attracted to other guys that was just the same as what he didn't want in me. He would like their pics, text and call them. And we've had multiple falling outs about it. Finally I understood that he felt I didn't appreciate him is why he was distant from me. I gave in to my faults and offered to fix the situation. He agreed but would never let me. He would either ignore me, be rude to me or just act like I don't even exist. Or like I'm just an associate. This has been going on for months. A week ago he said he wasn't in love with me anymore. Today, March 13, 2016 I am a single broken hearted man. We've been through the hell and back together. We've lost friends for each other. His dad won't talk to him and my mom rebuke me. We both don't get along with our families because of the way they treat us. I've never had a shoulder to lean on. He's all I have...now I have nothing...once again my heart is broken and he don't even care anymore. I've cried so many times and he didn't care. I don't know what to do. I'm hurt. AGAIN...


       

Prvnce

March 13, 2016 @ (Florida )

Tags: bad breakups, heart broken


Growing up, I've never had a sexual preference. I was always afraid to tell people because I knew no one would understand. Then my 10th grade year in highschool, I met the perfect being, the "love of my life". We started talking December 28th and made it official January 1st at 12:04. We've had a bumpy road. I always was so used to being heart broken that I didn't know how to love anymore or even appreciate it when it's shown to me. But he sat there and he waited for me to open up to him and he was stern when he needed to be. Truth of the fact is, I wouldn't have this stronger state of mind if it wasn't for him. He was such an inspiration to my life. In my sophomore days he was a senior and was off to college. We was in a log distance relationship. He stayed in West Virginia and I stayed in Florida. We was going together for 8 months before I left him, because I thought I haven't loved him anymore. Then later that September we got back together and saw each other in person for the first time in October. We made a bond like no other. And one thing I remember is when he told me he don't ever wanna live without me by his side..."I need you in my life" He would say. We was going so fine until the day he got in college. I got less attention and began to beg him and antagonize him because I didn't understand that being in college is time consuming. He then began to pay his attention to other guys. After we had a talk about it we was fine for our 1 year anniversary "one year down forever to go." I still remember him saying. Little did we know forever was just about to end...as time flew by he began to loose interest in me. He would call me too gay and tell me he don't like the way I dance or the way I dress. He'll say he didn't like my body being a certain way, but he would always be attracted to other guys that was just the same as what he didn't want in me. He would like their pics, text and call them. And we've had multiple falling outs about it. Finally I understood that he felt I didn't appreciate him is why he was distant from me. I gave in to my faults and offered to fix the situation. He agreed but would never let me. He would either ignore me, be rude to me or just act like I don't even exist. Or like I'm just an associate. This has been going on for months. A week ago he said he wasn't in love with me anymore. Today, March 13, 2016 I am a single broken hearted man. We've been through the hell and back together. We've lost friends for each other. His dad won't talk to him and my mom rebuke me. We both don't get along with our families because of the way they treat us. I've never had a shoulder to lean on. He's all I have...now I have nothing...once again my heart is broken and he don't even care anymore. I've cried so many times and he didn't care. I don't know what to do. I'm hurt. AGAIN...


       

Louise

March 09, 2016 @ (School)

Tags: Bad breakup


I first met my boyfriend on a open evening at school in mid September it was then I discovered I had feelings for him. His birthday was coming up so I decided this was the perfect chance to show that I cared about him so I bought him a birthday present. He was over the moon when I gave him it , it made me happy too. in the start of November 2015 we started going out we had a solid relationship I though nothing could come between us. I was wrong there though. a few weeks into January 2016 some of my so called "friends" started asking him random things "Louise is asking if you still care about her." Louise wants to know why you are telling people that you's are not together anymore".
When my boyfriend told me all the things my "friends" were saying I was heartbroken how could they tell him these things I Loved him and still do very much. the day of our break up was very weird. I went to the shops as normal in the morning before school, then I met him outside the school gates he gave me the best kiss of my life and told me he would love me forever. I really believed he would. but something happened during the school day I'm not in any of his lessons so the only time I would see him was after school. so when the bell went for the end of the day I went and waited for him as usual , but something was wrong he was crying and he never cried. he told me things arnt the same with my friends spreading things about us like this and he couldn't take it any more then he told me he was breaking up with me that was the day he let me walk away crying and he didn't even one word to sort things out. Now 2 months on we never talk and every time I pass him he always stares and smiles, I get along great with his sister who tells me I am all he goes on about but doesn't feel he can ask me out again because he thinks I hate him. I don't I still Love him and always will.
If only he knew how I felt about him maybe we would be together again.xxxxxxxx


       

Alex

February 26, 2016 @ (Austin, Tx)

Tags: bad break-up


I was in love with my best friend since 6th grade. I was so excited to hear that he like me back. One day he broke up with me in a note not even to my face. We had been dating for 4 months. I completly went into depression after that. I started to cry and cry for hours on end. I told myself no one would ever love me like he loved me. I knew i'd never be the same without him. I can barely look at him without tears coming to my eyes. It doesn't matter if we are in middle school. I loved him and still do. I go to bed hoping someday he'll love me back. Maybe someday.


       

Jadine

February 14, 2016 @ (Sask)

Tags: sad, valentines day, asshole


It's quite funny actually, as I have already posted on this site before with a brief submission on Jan 28, 2014. My first post was about my first boyfriend. We ended up getting back together on and off for about another 8 months before things finally ended for good (thank god!)
Looking back, I don't know why I was so sad. I just think it was because we had dated for 2 years, and he knew me inside out. But I wasn't serious about him, I know I could never end up with someone like him. After the breakup, I didn't expect to get into a relationship for a long time, maybe years. But only a few short months later my dream guy came along, someone I never thought would notice me.
He was amazing; 6'4", incredibly handsome, polite, smart, sweet, funny. I was in shock. I don't know if I ever had anyone on such a high pedestal before. And he wanted me back. Life, at that time, seemed like a dream come true, and I think that's where I ruined myself. I made HIM my dream. But I loved him so much and I was still in awe of everything he did. And all was well until moving away to a different city so I could go to university after only 4 months of dating.
Things changed. He changed. His true colors came out while living together. A once caring, dreamy person became cold, distant and indifferent. I had gained 15 pounds in the 6 months after university, and it apparently caused a huge problem for him (as he told me- "I would treat you better if you were thinner"). He would only return some of my texts, and got annoyed of me easily. The first 5 months living together were difficult, feeling like I was always reaching for him and he was just pulling away. I cried all the time. Looking back, after moving in that's mostly what I did with my time.
We've been broken up for a month now, but still living together because we signed into a lease. I've been trying to keep it civil but he seems to like hurting me constantly. A day doesn't go by without some sort of remark like "I enjoy this place when you're not here" or "you're not going to lose weight just watching a show about vegetables". After we agreed to try and be friends. Obviously it's hardest for me as I still care a great deal and he doesn't care at all, but yet I still try. I wake up everyday knowing that there's just going to be another heartbreaking moment. And every so often I think back to how it was in the beginning, everything was so perfect. I didn't want it to end up like this. What helps me to keep moving forward is to look at his attitude, he's treating me like dirt. And for what? All I did in our relationship was want to grow our love into something huge, but he couldn't see my value. I ask him what went wrong, he comes up with minuscule excuses such as "you never made me a friendship bracelet when you said you would" or "you turned on the light when I was sleeping". It's all a sad excuse to hide behind the real truth that he's shallow, and that once he saw me for my real self, without the nice body and makeup and clothes, he decided I wasn't good enough anymore. And i'm so glad that i'm stronger than I was 2 years ago, because no i'm not as sad as I was then, I've grown. I still cry sometimes, but I have to remember that I have the good heart, and important attributes to make love last, and him not being able to see that is HIS problem.


       

Antonella

February 07, 2016 @ (New York)

Tags: Bad breakup


Where do I begin....I met the love of my life July of 2007, we were 17. I must admit it wasn't love at first site. We began to text and talk everyday, and 6 months later I was falling in love with my best friend. We were from two different worlds- I'm Argentinian


       

Ahmad

February 06, 2016 @ (Lebanon)

Tags: I don\'t really know...


Loving her was like driving a new maserati down a dead end street. Faster than the wind, passionate as sin ending so suddenly. I'm quoting Red, a love song by Taylor Swift because that's what I've been doing for the past 6 weeks. Listening to stupid love songs. I don't know how to start. I'd be lying if I said she was my everything. She was beyond that. I will never forget her impact on my life. She gave up on me. After 5 years of love. It sucks letting your soulmate go and not being able to do anything about it because she gave up. I will never find love again. Don't do that mistake guys, don't let the relationship reach the point of no return. You will regret it.


       

Estefany

February 02, 2016 @ (DC)

Tags: sad


Wow.... were do i start . Me and him had a long thing me and have broken up at least 6 times. I dont know if me going back and still making me love him makes me dumb or the defenition on ride or die. Right now we are not dating. Cause these 2 bitches have drama with me and he dosent wanna be inna middle of it . It hurts me like crazy when he broke up with me i cried like never before. Why he leave me in difucult time ughhhh im crying rn


       








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