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404 Results For 'much'

Jeanice

May 13, 2011 @ (San Diego)

Tags: 1

This is the second day of a breakup cleanse that I am doing. Yesterday I did not feel as sad as I am feeling today. I feel silly because this guy and I had only gone out for three months and it seems silly to feel so sad. I am 43 and Honestly this is the First time I fell in love. I just felt deeply connected with him and the moment we sat and talked I knew I loved him. It was the strangest feeling I had ever had. It was something deep down within. Also the more I was with him the more I felt as if I was falling in love. Since it was the first time maybe it wasn't supposed to work out I don't know. I know that from our first date he did as I said in my previous post(yesterday) he spoke a lot about his ex. OMINOUS Warning I failed to heed FOR SURE. I know for the future I will run so fast if I see the guy is unavailable. Yet I see with all of the intimacy problems I had had, hence being 43 and NEVER having been in love, there were DEFINITE issues. I see that in many ways he was safe for me to fall in love with. He was amazing with me, and I really do feel that he did care deeply for me. I also got to find out that the feeling of falling in love happened within ME !!! Which is so great because I know it is not all HIM so if he leaves the scene I can still have that LOVE feeling within me. YIPPPPPEEEEEEE for that. I also know that because I love him as much as I feel I do he can be a great friend. I must admit I am still having hopes that it can work out. I will let him go as the saying goes (I am paraphrasing) If you love something set it free if it comes back to you it was yours if it doesn't it never was AAAAHHHHHHH I have tried in the past to hold so tightly to things and it always has caused so much pain. I just want to fall in love and get married, to have a lifelong partner. SO there I am !!!!

Golden614

May 06, 2011 @ (AZ)

Tags: love1

We had been together for three years. Three happy years. We laughed all the time, went places together, shared dreams and thoughts. Had awesome debates. We didn't always see eye to eye, obviously, but when we argued it was productive. There was compromise on both parts and I FELT so loved and so lucky. I looked at other people's relationships and couldn't understand all the drama and strife. We worked through our problems and were steadily making progress and both happily moving forward in our relationship. So much laughter and joy, any issue was rare because we got along so well. And then about a week before it happened, maybe two, I noticed he was very distant. I chalked it up to work stress and so many other things. I didn't push, thinking he would talk about it when he was ready. I know how I feel when I get the blues, I don't want everyone pushing me and asking me what's wrong, ad nauseum. He called me one day while he knew I was at work and gave me the dreaded line, "We need to talk." He said he didn't love me. He wasn't looking for "the one." We weren't compatible, etc etc etc. This from the man who only a week before had purchased a trip over seas with me and was talking about our future and telling me how special I was, I mean I literally had the wind knocked out of me. Now he says he wants to be friends. I love him but I'm not stupid. I don't want to be with someone who could flip on me so quickly, who would lead me on for three years, someone who apparently doesn't love me. But, my heart just can't seem to catch up with my brain. I see that he had an attack of commitment-phobia. But, how can it be true that he would stay with me for so long, that we could both be SO happy and he doesn't love me? I am having trouble moving on because I just can't wrap my head around it. And this whole, "We can still be friends," mess. Yeah, right. That has to some selfish ploy to alleviate his guilt feelings. And he tells me things like, "People break up all the time." "People change." It seems like the only thing that changed was how he acted toward me. And people do break up all the time, but so suddenly? So arbitrarily? He said he has never been with anyone as long as he has been with me and that no one was so immersed in his life, that he had never been so close with anyone else. Ever. He still wants me to be a part of his life. But he doesn't love me? He has loved other girlfriends, but not me? I'm lost. I just don't get it.

Violet

April 19, 2011 @ (NYC)

Tags: relationships, break up, love, hurt, pain, choices

'After 8 years in a relationship you realize there comes a point you ask yourself. Did I just miss out on "my life" and live someone else's or should I move on to the future and make this"our life". Well after 8 years you obviously share almost every moment together. Living together, same friends, family is involved, your best friends, you have animals together, or even children, both have great careers, may even own a business together, you have this life together. Which are all positive things that you want in a relationship. Thats the outter shell of a relationship looks and sounds wonderful. The inner part of that shell is what matters right? Well when you have to deal with BAGGAGE. Emotional problems, affectionate problems, ego problems, privacy problems, boundary problems,"my own" space problems, or "I need space". So how invovled are you supposed to get? Then there is the other part of the relationship is where you waiting for this person to change and do all the pro''s and con''s of each other. Yet you LOVE this person more than anything in the world and want to be with this person more than anything in the world. Its like where is the fun and love and when you are looking to change and figure out this person everyday. Where do you find the time to build a future when you are worried about the past or the right now? Then again, you want to work it out so badly because you love this person so much. Then it goes back to the beginning question am I missing out on my life or am I worried about their life? What to do? Big risk. Lose out on love and may never feel this love again or live life they way you want and hope to be in love like that again.Therefore, I chose the hard way; the challenge after long 8 years I chose to leave the one I love its been a year and I still love him. It was one of the most hardest things I have ever done in my life. I miss him everyday, think of him everyday and wish he was still my friend. I know he moved on and can carless how I feel since I was the one who left the relationship. Its not that your getting over the person when you break up, it getting over the fact your not in love anymore and want that feeling back more than anything. That is what I learned.n Don''t get me wrong I have had one of the most amazing years of my life and don''t regret my choice. Break ups are not easy. ',

DJ

April 13, 2011 @ (U.S.)

Tags: broken up heart

So here's my story:

I'm 17, just your average guy, I play a lot of sports, have a job... my girlfriend of almost a year dumped me 2 months ago. I met her over 3 years ago at a youth group. We were close friends for 2 years before we started dating. Last February we started hanging out a lot. By the time Summer started we were head over heals in love with each other. I guess I was kind of the "bad boy" we snuck out all Summer long and I disrespected her grandfather whom she was living with at the time. In August he kicked her out of his house and she was forced to move in with her alcoholic/abusive mother who is the only other person she had to live with. She doesn't have any other family and her entire family has a whole lot of problems. She also has a past of a lot of abuse in her history as I found out eventually. As for me, I also do not have any family or relatives. I live alone with my single mother and my younger siblings. My family has just as many problems as hers does. My mother is really the only person I have, however, we are not that close. My ex-girlfriend goes to a different high school then me and as we went through the school year her life became very challenging at home. We stayed together though. I was there for her through it all time-and-time again. I even got my ma to let her live with us for a while to be away from her life at home. In my heart she became the love of my life. We had so much in common in our pasts. The same goals for our futures. We could understand each others pain like no one ever could. I loved her with all my heart for near 10 months

Anyways we started fighting because of her own problems at home. This went on all the way through December and January. I tried to be supportive of her problems, but she started pushing me away, more so every couple weeks. In February, after I hadn't seen her in 3 whole weeks (which she filled with excuses, and insincere reasons why she couldn't see me) she called me and broke up with me on the phone. I asked if I could at least see her one more time. She refused. I asked her why it had come to this and her reasons were things such as she wanted to be independent, she did't wanna be in a relationship anymore, she didn't feel like we should take relationships so seriously at this time in our life, blah blah blah. So after hours of tears on my part I let her go. If this is what she wanted, then I wanted her to just be happy. Anyways, I had been the only one really holding the relationship together for 3 months and I couldn't take it anymore. I never texted her or called her once after we broke up on the stupid phone that night.

Two weeks later after a lot of pain and hurt, I was at a party with some buddies. I asked a mutual friend who I saw there how she was doing to find out that she had been cheating on me with some fuckin douche bag who's six foot-seven, plays basketball, drives a 2010 mustang, is rich, and apparently is a big player at her school. This hurt so much that I ended up getting in a fight with another guy at the party. I couldn't sleep for days, and still have a lot of trouble sleeping. I wanted really bad to go find this guy she'd been cheating on me with. Luckily I didn't. Now I'm sitting here a month later still heartbroken. She has made me hate my life, and according to people she's having a great time with this other guy. I've gone out with 2 girls since we broke and neither one of them has meant anything to me. As of right now I hate my life, I hate her, and I wish she was NEVER ever a part of my life.

That's basically my story. Enough said.

Asia

April 11, 2011 @ (Texas)

Tags: Young

I'm pretty young. I'm not going to tell you my age, just my story.

So I was in school right-WAY TOO YOUNG TO BE DATING. I was a average girl. I'm not popular, more like anti-social. I wasn't really looking at guys yet but then about around December I found a note in my locker. This semi-popular guy was actually asking me out. I was about to say no when my friends told me that I should at least try to be a little social so I went out with him. He was nice at first, a little loud and controlling but nice. By the end of our first month dating I grew to like him. We hung out and then my grades dropped a little, not much but I went from a average of 96-100 to about an average of 89-95 not much but my parents certainly noticed. I continued to hang out with him. One day I think it was around mid-April when we were out at the mall when he told me to hold on to this box or something - he wanted me to shoplift. I never took it whatever it was and quickly left the shop. He followed me. We didn't talk. The next day he told me that I was too "stiff", "cheery" ---- (Who the hell says cheery?)----

We broke up sort of if you could even call it that.
-we kissed-we hung out-we broke up

And get this! Around June I found out he was using me. Turns out his friends dared him to ask me out sayin that i would never say yes. I shouldn't have. I cried and it hurt, it still does.

After a couple of months though I realize that I was never really in love I just really really really really really liked him.

Jerry

April 11, 2011 @ (Minnesota)

Tags: No-O

My ex told me our relationship has become "platonic" We had been together for about 4 months. I was an ideal boyfriend in nearly every way, I'm funny, I'm decent looking, I'm a great cook, and I cooked several fine meals for her. I took her out to fancy restaurants, movies, and plays. I bought her flowers several times to surprise her, and even delivered them to her at work so her coworkers could all be jealous of her. There was one problem, I was bad in bed.

I was a virgin when we started dating. She knew this, because we had been friends for a while, so she knew not to expect much from me in the bedroom, at least at first. In spite of that I knew how to give her pleasure in other ways, and never failed to get her off.

When we finally had sex, I didn't have the problem that most guys have the first time. Instead of not lasting long enough, I didn't have an orgasm at all. I was hard, I just didn't finish. We had sex on three different dates, each time the same thing. I was getting better at it each time, less awkward, more satisfying for her, but each time I didn't blow, probably because she was obsessed with making me come, and it made me nervous.

The last time we had sex, I got her off three times, I stayed hard for so long, we just kept going until the early hours of the morning, until she literally passed out from exhaustion. But, because I didn't have an orgasm, she began to doubt herself and think that I didn't find her attractive.

I told her every day how beautiful she was, but still she somehow reached the conclusion that the fact that I hadn't gone from virgin to Peter North in 3 lays somehow meant she was to blame.

We were going to try one more time, but the day before that date I found out my mom was dying. We tried anyway, but I was to distressed and couldn't even get it up.

So now, my mom is on her deathbed, my bills are piling up because I have missed work, I am behind in my classes because I have been missing school, and my ex dumped me, not because I can't please her in bed, but because she doesn't think I get enough pleasure in bed.

I think she should have given me more time. I mean, 3 times isn't really much of a chance to prove yourself, especially if you start as a virgin.

Funny thing is, I'm not mad at her, I feel sorry for her, I was probably the best boyfriend she will ever have.

Danielle

April 05, 2011 @ (Pennsylvania)

Tags: Example1

My ex boyfriend and I were together for three and a half years, we were eachother's everything, bestfriend, other half, etc. We were 15 when we started dating, and now we are both 18... It's our senior year, and of course i had a feeling we were going to hit a rough patch since it was going to be stressful...we started fighting a lot over the stupidest stuff, and then came Janurary and things just got worse. He was a jealous person.. I did everything for him, paid for everything, took care of him, and etc... Well, the mid jan.. he broke up with me, cuz he claimed he couldnt feel my love. the day after wards he wanted me back and said he would stay forever and never ever leave me again.. He wanted to propose to me this summer, and we even looked at rings... Well feb 14.. we were perfectly fine.. then tuesday we started fighting cuz i asked if he was going to get a job in college, and of course he said no. We fought that whole night, and at the end of the night i said i was soo afraid of him leaving me, he replied danielle ill neever leave you, i love you forever and wanna be with you forever and i wanna propose this summer.. the next day was akward and he wanted to resolve things and said he wanted this forever and etc... i picked him up from his weightlifting, we got back to my house and as soon as i sat down, he said it was over, saying we are two diff people, that I changed, and we fight too much, and he wants to be cocky now.... Five days later he likes a new girl, three weeks later he is dating this girl.. and its been about two months since we broke up and he is still dating this girl and wants nothing to do with me. I guess love really does hurt. :/

Jessica

March 12, 2011 @ (Minnesota)

Tags: love, detachment

We were old school friends and had been, in those days, pretty close. Not long after I got out of my last relationship, he called me up out of the blue (we had kind of drifted apart) and asked me out. I had had the biggest crush on him when we went to school, so I agreed.

We had an amazing couple of months together. I had never been so in love with anyone I had ever dated. Then we had our first fight. It was a blur of misunderstandings, harsh words, and lots of emotion. We didn't talk for a few days.

It took all I had not to get emotional when I saw him again, but I knew if I did, he'd get defensive and things would just get worse. After we talked everything over (and we both apologized) I felt great. He told me he loved me and that I was the first girlfriend he'd had in quite a while that he felt semi-serious about. I felt closer to him than I ever had.

But then, he proceeded to spew some crap about how he'd been detaching himself from me and how he didn't think the relationship could work out because of it. Apparently, this so-called "love" he felt for me could be disregarded over our FIRST fight. He may as well of just ripped my heart out of my chest and stomped on it.

I broke up with him. How was I supposed to be with someone who could detach himself from me over one fight that I apologized for over and over again?

But then I felt bad. I loved him so much- what kind of person would I be if I didn't try again? I texted him, begging him to talk to me. Begging him to tell me why he didn't love me enough to get over this fight. Begging him to tell me why this wouldn't work out if it had been going so well up to that point. I don't beg- ever. His response? "I don't feel like talking right now- sorry." No matter how much I begged him to talk because I needed him to, he wouldn't.

So I said goodbye. Guys- if you don't really care, don't tell a girl she means the world to you and that you love her. Apparently, for my guy, I shattered his perfect image of me by actually having feelings and by being hurt by our fight. Terrible, I know.

Catalina

March 12, 2011 @ (california)

Tags: 2

my ex and i had a perfect communication and he was an awesome boyfriend.. but unfortunetly he never had time to hang out outside of school much and well...now my question is.."how do you tell yur ex yur pregnant if both of you guys are still virgins??"..i honestly dont think he wud believe me and think i cheated on him..and why wud i do that if i care about him and love him??it sounds imposible because this doesnt happen to many people..and i kno the baby is his because hes the only guy ive everdone anything with besides kiss..i dont know what to do..my ex and i are good friends at the moment..i know he still likes me because he told some of my friends..he just didnt have time fur anything..he was a busy dude:/..my friends asked him,"what would you do or think if yur girlfriend told you that she got prego by you??" and he said that he doesnt believe in a girl becoming pregnant without sex..i feel like if he were to tell me to get a DNA test..i would get it, mail it to him and pack my things and raise my baby on my own..somewhere far like mexico maybe..because he denied it the day he made me get a DNA test..and beacuse he thought that low of me

Sly-guy

February 17, 2011 @ (Texas)

Tags: example 1

not really a break up but here it goes... so i'm 13 and don't give me that focus on your studies crap... I've never been much of a G.F. B.F. type of guy but when one of the hottest girls at the school starts trying to talk to you, you dont just turn down the offer. So it starts off great but its just talking never dating. Then about 2 months later still just talking no dating and im beginning to question our relationship and if we'll ever be more than just what we had been. She tries to tell me we will but she's nervous. I believe her but im still skeptical. About a week later what do you know she says we should stop talking and that she sees me as just a friend. She has no new boyfriend or is event talking to anyone she just got tired i guess. "500 days of Summer" without the happy ending. I now know what it feels like to be heart broken...