Searching for "ass"

322 Results For 'ass'

Jennie

November 30, 2009 @ (New Jersey)

Tags: wtf

The dumbass broke up with me and 3 months later messages me on a dating site...doesn't recognize me. WTF!

David

November 24, 2009 @ (Ontario, Canada)

Tags: funny breakup, recent breakup, bad breakup

A couple of weeks ago I went in to write my Psychology midterm in one of the school's larger lecture halls. Everything started off fine: papers were handed out, I had all of my identification, I had actually put a couple of hours of studying into this test and I even brought my own pencil; what a glorious day. Sitting in the front row of this lecture hall I hear snickering starting from the back and then gradually making its way down towards me. Near the front of the class, I'm one of the last people to get the attendance sheet that everyone has to sign to prove they were actually there to write the test. At the top of the list I see my girlfriend's name and signature and, beside it, my name, with a simple message: "I can't do this anymore. It's over. Sorry." The best part? SHE DOESN'T EVEN GO TO THIS SCHOOL.

Johnny

November 24, 2009 @ (Horsham)

Tags: crack, hemorrhoids

One night, my 21 year old ex-girlfriend let me hang out and drink with the boys so she could go hang out with her "girls". After not hearing from her for 3 days, she called asking me to pick her up from a strange apartment 15 miles away from our place. It turns out, she went on a wild crack-cocaine binge and then took a bunch of xanax to help herself sleep and was out of touch for days. Being overwhelmed with the discovery of her newly discovered addiction and possible infidelity, I punched and kicked our bedroom door until it was broken into splinters. Unphased by the violent outburst, she pulled down her pants in the bathroom, bent over weeping and asked if I thought she had hemorrhoids.

I assume she got them from being constipated from all the drugs; Her mom picked her up later that afternoon.

Ray

November 23, 2009 @ (Fort Lauderdale)

Tags: Fort Lauderdale

Times have been tough for us. The econ has been shit and so has the job market. She lost her jobs about 4 months ago and can't find a job. She'd been really stressed as of late, but i understand completely. I ended just losing my job as well. It feels like every other word is now leading to a fight. I was starting to feel like i was losing her, boy was i right. when she was breaking up with me, she told me that i was holding her back. she can't be with someone who does have a job. That really pissed me off, because i was nothing but supportive when her broke ass got canned. I mean who breaks up like that?

Ironic?

November 12, 2009 @ (Canada)

Tags: cheating

So my ex always wanted to learn spanish. So for our 1 year I bought her everything she needed the translation books, the software. I put her in a spanish class, and even I booked a trip to Mexico for the two of us. About a month later I was hanging out with some friends at our local watering hole (which happened to across from the adult learning centre where she was taking her classes) having a smoke, when in the distance I see her come out of the centre with a guy, get in a car and drive away. When i asked her about it the next day she proceeded to tell me he was only her Mexican spanish partner and not worry about it. Now I gave her the benefit of the doubt, up until later that day when running out to get a coffee i put on my hoodie (which like 9/10 girls in the world she felt the need to wear whenever she pleased) reached in the pocket and found a paper with a conversation between them discussing them sleeping together. Needless to say my buddy and I had a great time in Mexico sitting by the swim-up bar all day for 2 weeks staring at all the little bikinis.

Pissed Off

November 11, 2009 @ (east Coast)

Tags: never calls, dumpee

So we had a lot of issues and we were constantly fighting but I still cared for him and did everything I could. That might have been the problem. I spent all my efforts making him happy and he rarely returned the favor. Well it has been a week since our last heated argument and he said we would talk soon. Yet I haven't heard from him. Don't lie to me! If you don't want to see me and work things out then just say so! don't lead me on! ass-wipe!

Keeper Of The Corgis

November 11, 2009 @ (Pittsburgh area)

Tags: drunk dial

I first met this ex online while I was out of action. I was sick and had to stay in the hospital for some time when we first started talking. Anyway, while I was recovering, she drunk dialed me and accused me of not having the "testicular fortitude" to meet her. At which point I pointed out I still had stitches and a JP tube in my abdomen. I let that one go, as I didn't know what she was like while drunk and she apologized up and down afterword. So we were going out for over 2 years and even discussed getting married (I even bought an engagement ring, but I'll get in to that later). So here I'm working full time, going to school full time and I have another health problem pop up and need another surgery. As soon as I regained my senses after the surgery, I called her to tell her I was OK (a little irrelevant but I'll explain later). So we went out one night when I had recovered and she told me she wasn't happy and accused me of not making time for her. Keep in mind I just recovered from surgery, was working full time and attending class full time, and I admit I'm not the best academic so I take longer then normal to study. So I thought we had worked that problem out, and I had thought it was time to pop the big question. I got a ring, and had planned when to propose and all that good stuff. My birthday had came up and we had plans.....key word is had here. She blew off my birthday (her parents got me a gift, but she did squat) and it seemed like she was trying to get rid of me ASAP. Also before the sh*t hit the fan, her and a friend went out of town, and her friend drunk dialed me, pretty much telling me my then girlfriend thought I was boring. I needless to say was quite offended, and we were going to meet when she got home. Oh wait, were supposed to......until she stood me up and didn't even call to tell me there was a change in plans. Back to our dilemma.... so low and behold, she comes up with this brilliant idea to spend some time apart. During this stretch I wasn't in the best form of mind....A cat of mine for 14 years had to be put down, I broke my wrist in an accident, and the Redwings lost game 7. So she uses this opportunity to bury me about how horrible I am. Then the cherry on top comes on the day I was going to ask the question, she thinks I'm going to forget everything and be her friend. Well.....maybe after I lobotomize myself

Lawanda

November 07, 2009 @ (Pittsburgh)

Tags: ho

Tyrell is an asshole. That player done stole my bus pass to go see his ex!!!!

Allison

November 07, 2009 @ (New York)

Tags: new york

How about his asshole breakup story. The yanks just won the world series so everyone's phone was just blowing up. well my Bfs phone kept ringing and ringing... he wouldn't pick it up. i thought it was a little weird. I asked him who it was... he says "Do you really want to know?" I reply yes... I was my other girlfriend she wanted to know if i was done hanging out with you... ummm yeah i think we are

Breeder

November 07, 2009 @ (Alabama)

Tags: Bitch

Well,
So, I dated this girl for about a year. Things were good and even though she was busy with grad school and work, and had a hecktic schedule, I still hung in there. I made sure when she ws with me that she felt appreciated and that I still loved her and supported her no mtter what. So one day, I am at Starbucks during my lunch break and who do I see walking out as I am parking my Car? My girlfriend with another dude. I wouldn't have cared so much if she hadn't told me she didn't have time to meet today cause she was so busy...anyway, I confront her later that night. She proceeds to tell me that she is an has been cheating on me for a month or so. This being the case I flip out and tell her to leave. I decide that everyone should have a second chance. I tried surprising her and had a candle lit dinner and classic nusic playing when she came over...and asked her to marry me. She started crying an I assumed tht meant yes...then she jerked her hand back, and said no!!!!!!! Needless to say, I was devistated. I hate her...still hate her, and always will hate her....fuck you for wasting my time...and posting our fucking story on you broke up how .com you bitch...you think this was fucking funny? your sick!