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July 23, 2011 @ (FL.)

Tags: time

My husband said the words I needed to hear, "you'll never be alone again"... and I believed him. His actions behind closed doors were mentally abusive, he even was able to convince our novice church counselor's that it was me. His assault was ruthless and without mercy all the while appearing to all others as the nicest guy ever. I went to a professional counselor and right away she recognized his behavior as narcissistic. True to the disorder your complete emotional,mental and circumstantial destruction is their goal. I lost my friends, had to move from the place I loved, lost my home, my career, my dreams, any respect I had from my peers in college. I still want to move back to that area (I love the mountains) but have nothing left there. He still works in the ministry (I introduced him to)there as far as I know and attends the church we went to together. I am hoping to trust again in another relationship.

Summer Of Love

July 11, 2011 @ (usa)

Tags: firstlove, teen

I was 14 and hadn't ever had a boyfriend. When I found out he did actually like me, we starting falling together. Once it was "official," we were practically inseparable. He was the first guy I'd ever hugged, held hands with, had a arm around me (all romantic firsts of course, I'd hugged guys before, but not like this.) I was even all of those firsts for him, too.

About a month into it, we were at a party late on night and we all decided to play hide-and-go seek tag in the pitch black darkness. I wasn't chosen to be "it," so I ran and hid behind these bushes that I knew were the perfect spot. A couple minutes later, he dove back behind with me, although he didn't know I was there. I moved closer to him and, through the darkness, found his hand. He just whispered "missed you" so softly, and we had only been apart those couple minutes, I just.. fell. He was the nicest, sweetest guy I had ever known. I leaned my head in towards him, and we just kissed. It was one of those "I hope my first kiss goes like this:" stories.

He lived about 15 minutes away, so we weren't together every single day, but that made our time together every couple days even more cherished. Sometimes we'd go to our park and just sit there and talk about everything there is to talk about, for hours! Every time I would have to leave or he'd have to go, we hugged, and kissed each other. It was the best summer I'd ever had.

After a few months, he had become more than just my boyfriend, he q

Once A Cheater Always A Cheater

July 06, 2011 @ (florissant, mo)

Tags: (cheater!!, heart breaker)

i dated my boyfriend for 1 year he was my first love and our relationship was amazing! he always spoiled me whenever he could he was so nice and he always told me he loved me. we always knew since i was only 15 and him 17 that we wouldnt last 4ever. but we did promise each other a few things 1. no dating or hooking up with anyone for a couple months after breaking up. 2.if u cheat on me tell me! 3. we will still be friends after we break up. so as time went on he constantly said i had an attitude about everything he did and we were always getting annoyed with each other we promised we would both work on our flaws but the last month i felt like he didnt care anymore and that he was cheating on me.In that month i always cried at night because i thought he was gonna break up and was cheating on me. He kept picking up more hours at work which kept making me so upset because i missed seeing him and i would get annoyed when he promised 2 hang out with me but worked last min. he never wanted 2 stay the night anymore, he stopped calling, after work he always went to parties he never asked me to go anymore and kept saying he wanted 2 go home 4 alone time but would go out and hangout with his friends. a week after our 1 year anniversary he came over and i was so excited 2 hangout with him but he told me he had 2 work... i was really upset so he left. i got online and his facebook status said about done i asked him if it was about me and then he broke up with me over a facebook message according to him it was because of my attitude and i begged him to give me another chance until a couple days later i found out he was cheating on me when we were dating and as soon as we broke up had sex with a couple girls... all the promises he made me were a lie and he never kept any of them i recently found out he is now talking to another girl that i hate and he always called a whore when we were dating and i am still not over him its only been a week!

Ktlou9317

July 05, 2011 @ (Semmes, AL!)

Tags: two years, jerk, wasted time

So me and this guy had been dating almost two years and he is on the poorer side but i didnt care i "loved" him and he "loved" me so i would go get him take him home (30+ mins) and then we'd go out to eat, I'd pay, and then we would go back to my house and chill. Sometimes we'd hang out with friends but I would still have to get, pay, and things like that for him, but i didn't mind because he promised he loved me and one day i'd never have to pay for him ever again and money is just an object to me anyways so i did so lovingly until about three months ago i started asking him if he could meet 10 mins down the road or drive over because i felt to stressed because every fight started being about me not doing enough for him and i asked him to meet me half way. He started acting rude towards me like he changed he acted like he didn't care about me anymore then i told him if this was going to last he would have to meet me somewhere or drive over because i can't go all the way out there, just to make a point i do everything, and he told me why stay together because he wouldn't do that. so we took a break, and i ended ending it. Well it's been a month since the two year break up and he has a new girlfriend. and i feel used, and left for someone new because i've been thinking about how he acted towards the end he stopped caring, about me and was very weird when it came to his phone. so now, i feel like i shouldn't have let him in, i should have kept my walls up, i should have said "no" to everything we did because i can NEVER get that back and now. i just can't even imagine her saying his name, hold his hand, replacing me. so this is my first break up. and it really honestly sucks.

Manda

June 15, 2011 @ (Indiana)

Tags: crazy, psycho, too long

The weirdest thing about this story is that I never actually DATED N.B. but there was a clear break up!

NB was my best friend. I had gotten to know him though he was shy and withdrawn and he really got close to me. While I did like him it wasn't serious. So one day I pulled him aside and told him (in my memory) as best as I could that I didn't see him that way.

Then I met CL and we dated. It was an open and obvious relationship and we all spent time together at the same youth group, so I assumed NB knew like the rest of the world. Eventually, CL and I broke it off and I told NB that we had broken up. He acted as though he never knew we were dating and asked when he and I would start dating. This was a YEAR after the first conversation about all of this.
My response was pretty much "what? no."

Then the crazy set in. He bought a trenchcoat (like a friggin' high school shooter). He stopped bathing. He combed his hair down over his face. I got psycho emails and changed phones with my mom. My parents were looking into a restraining order.

So then I go to college. He keeps it up and finally says via email if I never respond to him he will leave me alone. If only! I don't respond and when I visit home he corners me. He says he just wants to be friends and I shout at him that I don't.

Sounds easy enough? Even during my 3 year engagement he would circle me at church, regardless of my fiance being there or not!

So a long and torturous break up with someone I never dated!

Kay

May 21, 2011 @ (San Diego)

Tags: example1, example2

We were together two and a half years, living together for one and a half of that, and while we had our challenges we loved and enjoyed each other and had planned a life together. We lived as a married couple and a ring had been picked out at his request. We planned trips and planned for a family, but we also enjoyed each other in the moment. I felt very loved, wanted and supported. The challenges were lifestyle issues. He was still a party boy and surrounded himself with party people. When I say party boy I mean that I would classify him and his friends as having drinking problems. I didn't really know the extent of partying until we moved in together. One of my parents is an alcoholic/drug addict so I started to be "triggered" constantly by their behavior and it reached a point of constant anxiety for me and caused major issues in the relationship. I could go on and on about the positives and negatives about this relationship and how the break-up came about and how wronged I felt, but I just don't have the energy. Anyway, at the time of the break-up I was unemployeed (had quit my job at his request two months earlier) so I found myself financially dependant on him, living in his house and with a broken heart. He said I was the love of his life, but that we weren't working and sometimes love isn't enough. If I hadn't been so blindsided by the break-up I probably would have agreed with him. It was horrible how he kept trying to emotionally support me through the break-up. He hugged me, cried, told me he loved me and that we would get through it together. I was losing a part of me and he didn't understand that he couldn't help me get over him. I spent a week in a haze and then went to work on getting my life together so that I could move out. Within a month I found a job and a place to live (which he had to cosign the lease for and pay the first months rent on because I hadn't started my job yet. It was so hard to have to ask him for anything.) So here I am now knowing that it was for the best but still aching with reminders and the "what will never be's". I want to let him go and move on, but it's just so hard.

Jayleen

May 17, 2011 @ (e.c)

Tags: idk?

hi my name is jayleen and im 13 years old and this is how the it all happened:last year (2010) a boy named carlos wanted to be my friend and then after a while when we started to get to know eachother more , he asked me out 3 times just for me to say yes ; and one day on april 27,2010 we were talking over the phone and i was talking and then out of nowhere he cut me off and asked me out and then i said i dont know i have to think about it because you know that i have no feelings for you in that way and then and then he said aww okay i guess and then i said dont be sad just text me or call me tomorrow and i will tell you my answer and then he said okay and thats when we had hung up and then the next day,while i was at school,he texted me and the text said "hey this is carlos so whats your answer"and then i said my answer is yes and then he said he loved me and then i said i love you too and then after a while later (days,weeks)thats when i really started to fall hard for him and then so 2 months had passed and we got into an arguement and i got to that point where i was really mad and just blew up and started saying things that i didnt mean and then i said "its over im done with you carlos!!"and then he said okay and then thats when i finally realized what i have done and then i started crying my heart out! and i was crying so much and bad that i couldnt breathe and cried myself to sleep and then the next night,he texted me saying"are we really over?"i texted him back saying yes why? and then he said oh okay because im gonna ask out your best friend and then i said who is my best friend and then he said winoska and when he said that,that really hurt me more than me breaking up with him and i started crying so much and bad that my heart broke into a billion pieces! and even though he wasnt my first boyfriend,he was the first boy i ever loved and cried for and i never knew what love was until i met him i was 12 years old in the 5th grade until i knew what love was and that was because he showed me what love was and he proved to me that he was different from the other boys i ever dated and everyday since we broke up,(july 11,2010)i cry myself to sleep until this very day and i regret ever leaving him but i didnt know that i needed him until i left him! and i have full experience on what love is that i learned from a very young age and when i tell people this story,they cried

Lynette

May 14, 2011 @ (Los Angeles)

Tags: Liar

18 months of my life that I can't get back. Funny thing is that when we were together, everything seemed wonderful. He was loving, attentive, and sweet. It was the first time since my painful divorce that I let myself really trust and fall in love. What a mistake!

He told me that he was divorced. He said he was living in his friend's guest house- even took me there! Of course, he wasn't. They were all lies. You know where this is going.... Abruptly, his wife calls me. I guess that one day he called my office on their house phone and she got suspicious. I eventually found out that he bought a separate cell phone just to call me so that his wife wouldn't find out. Anyhow, his wife and I had an interesting conversation on the phone. She actually seemed to be a genuinely nice person- I feel sorry for her. I was also really upset that I unknowingly caused her so much pain- having also experienced a cheating spouse before.

Aparently, he had been lying to me all along, and had cheated on her before. He was still living with his wife. And lying to both of us, using me. When he finally did call me, it was to simply tell me (with a flat affect like he was ordering a pizza)that he was going back to his wife and he asked me not to call her (too late, she called me first) because otherwise, I would be the one responsible for breaking up their family if I spoke with her. Unbelievable! He tried to place the blame on me! And he was afraid that I would tell her what he had been up to. WOW.

Glad I found this out though, imagine if his wife had really left him/divorced him? Now I think that all I was to him was his backup plan in case she did leave. And he probably would have turned around and done the same thing to me later- cheated. Still really angry though. Angry that someone could be so cold hearted and just blatenly lie. Not sure I can trust again now.

Jeanice

May 13, 2011 @ (San Diego)

Tags: 1

This is the second day of a breakup cleanse that I am doing. Yesterday I did not feel as sad as I am feeling today. I feel silly because this guy and I had only gone out for three months and it seems silly to feel so sad. I am 43 and Honestly this is the First time I fell in love. I just felt deeply connected with him and the moment we sat and talked I knew I loved him. It was the strangest feeling I had ever had. It was something deep down within. Also the more I was with him the more I felt as if I was falling in love. Since it was the first time maybe it wasn't supposed to work out I don't know. I know that from our first date he did as I said in my previous post(yesterday) he spoke a lot about his ex. OMINOUS Warning I failed to heed FOR SURE. I know for the future I will run so fast if I see the guy is unavailable. Yet I see with all of the intimacy problems I had had, hence being 43 and NEVER having been in love, there were DEFINITE issues. I see that in many ways he was safe for me to fall in love with. He was amazing with me, and I really do feel that he did care deeply for me. I also got to find out that the feeling of falling in love happened within ME !!! Which is so great because I know it is not all HIM so if he leaves the scene I can still have that LOVE feeling within me. YIPPPPPEEEEEEE for that. I also know that because I love him as much as I feel I do he can be a great friend. I must admit I am still having hopes that it can work out. I will let him go as the saying goes (I am paraphrasing) If you love something set it free if it comes back to you it was yours if it doesn't it never was AAAAHHHHHHH I have tried in the past to hold so tightly to things and it always has caused so much pain. I just want to fall in love and get married, to have a lifelong partner. SO there I am !!!!

Jeanice

May 13, 2011 @ (San Diego )

Tags: 1

Well I am still in a space of hoping against hope we will not have to break up. I am on the edge, knowing that where we were heading was not working and he has put the brakes on. I want to make it all about him because I do not want to look within me to see that there were definitely things that were not working for me i.e. He still has a lot of anger towards his ex (thin line between love and hate) and he is very gun shy to move forward with me, hence he is probably not finished with his last gal, nothing truly available for me. We do not have tons in common, and he does not have his financial life together at ALL !!! He is pretty immature also. Yet there is this amazing connection we have. OH GOD I can see how I am hanging on to a thread hoping hoping hoping it can change. I know even if there is a chance for the future. What is now needs to be over. DAMNIT !!!! I do not want to freaking admit this. So for today I am going to release the relationship that was. Do a ritual to let him go release him from my energy. What will happen will happen