Tags: Lesbian, blindside, experiment, straight
Background knowledge: I am a 24 year old lesbian, known my whole life and came out at 16. She is a almost 23 year old "free spirit" never had been with a girl before but always said she'd never closed it out of her options.
We first talked in May of 2011 and there was instantly a connection between us. She asked me to hang out in the beginning of June for the first time and we hit it off. We went out with a group of friends but me and her were inseperable. I knew she was "straight" so I didn't make any advances but she sure did!! She kept telling me how hot I was, she invited me to stay at her house that night(even made sure to mention I wouldn't be sleeping on the couch), and grabbed my hand to hold it to the next bar we walked to. As we sat there talking she grabbed my head and began making out with me. Wow! We walked back to her place and innocently kissed and fell asleep. She walked me to my final college class the next morning and we were glued to each other since that night. Our "relationship" grew over the next 9 months into something I saw as perfect, one of a kind, unique, and new. She told me she felt the same way. She had never felt so real before and that this was truly the relationship she always dreamed of and I was the person she always dreamed for. I was "the one". The sex was aweesome(in my opinion), and she would tell me how she couldn't wait to spend her life with me, have babies with me, and how truly amazing I treated her. So things are rolling just like they had been when suddenly she tells me, "I don't know about us anymore. I'm so confused and I'm just not sure what our future holds." I let her think for a week and hope she is just saying crazy things and we can make it better. We have a PHENOMENAL weekend but things seem distant still as the week comes. I ask if things have gone back to normal and if she still believes I'm the one and what we have is unique and one of a kind. She doesn't reply. I ask if she wants to break up. Her response, "No! I mean.....I don't know". That kind of said it all. So we hung up after that and she didn't contact me for an entire fucking week!! Blindsided by this breakup, everything seemed perfec for 9 months, then she gets confused and ends it. We finally talk after a week of not taking and she was supposidely so sad and miserable over the situation. After giving me BS reasons that we broke up for 30 minutes, she finally "got honest" with me and let me know that she loved me as a friend and as a person but got that confused with being in love and that she tried to convince herself that she was "in love" but that she doesn't think she is. She could never see a future with me she said. AKA she isn't gay/can't be with a girl! Talk about a fucking slap in the fucking face. It's the closure I needed but now I'm just pissed that I was apart of her experiment that she likely knew the results of early after we met but didn't let me know till now. Plus for her to pretend she was in love with me and wanted a future with me is BS. She isn't the first "straight" girl to do this to me but she is the first to let it last 9 months. She wants to be friends and will talk/text but I feel like it's not a good idea. I think any "pain" she felt is gone now and she is relieved and fine because she "cleared her conscious" and got honest. I don't think she has any pain over losing "us" or this "relationship" and that sucks because I thought it was something different for 9 months but I guess it was all a lie.
Tags: Long distance1, internet, dating, sad, breakup
Bitter sweet Internet love life
This is a true story about my own love life and how it started.. and sadly ended
-----------FlashBack-----------
I looked to my right and then to my left, I saw a guy with a cat head on? He seemed pretty interesting, but being the random person I was I walked up to him and said "Hai how's life?", "It's awesome right now" I giggled, "So what's your name?" the crowd around him answered "--------" I didn't even notice they were there and made me jump out of my skin!
------End of Flashback------
The day we first met was a memory turning hazy, but I never knew he would become my best friend. At the time I first met him I was a 1st year in middle school and was pretty dumb, but I didn't care as long as I was having fun at school, I was the type of person who could make anyone smile! I didn't take anything seriously at the time as in friendships, and relationships, I was all about living for the moment and always acting silly, but that would eventually change. Jerome was a well known person, I'm pretty sure he had more friends then I would ever have in my school years, but he was funny and also serious, he always put his friends as his number one priority and that's what I liked about him! I started talking to "------" everyday, and I would always learn something new about him, my friendly feelings eventually turned into love. One day my friend Christopher and I had started talking about the most random topics and I saw "-----" walk over to me and sit close to like he always did , I told Chris, "HEY CHRISTOPHER, are you going to pay for our wedding!" I realized what I had just said and started to blush, "but I have to pay for mine first!" he whined , ever since that day "------" and I became girlfriend and boyfriend, we exchanged numbers and the first thing he said was, "YES, I can prank call you now!" "Oh shush and text me cause I have to go, BAI "------" I LOVE YOUH!<3" "Love you too!<3" After that he imminently texted me, he made me feel special inside like I was the only girl he could have, I guess he had me falling head over heels for them, but things change... The day of my birth was coming up and I was so excited on what he would get me!! It could be anything I ever dreamed of. It finally came and what I got was a diamond ring as in an engagement ring!! He purposed to me after just one month and I felt so happy!! But after that my life would change forever... It was Friday may 20th that I received a text saying he had asked a girl out and she said yes. I wasn't happy about it, but I tried to act happy, but failed miserably. Inside I felt real jealous even though this relationship was just over the Internet I couldn't help but feel a little ache in my heart. As the weeks had gone by we started texting less as he distanced himself from me, but then his friend had died one day and that made the distance seem even longer, as he was always busy helping out others, even though I was a priority I felt like an option which hurt me the most... as a result I... cheated on him, I cheated on him because I wanted him to feel what I felt when he told me he had a girlfriend, that was The lowest point I had ever gone to in a relationship, and I felt empty inside. I told "------" all about "Joey" (a.k.a moo moo) at first he seemed completely fine with it but as I told him more, we had arguments that were pointless, he eventually found out that moo moo wasn't in real life but was on the Internet, I made a fatal mistake of hanging out with "Joey" that day as he gave me a '<3' sign right in front of "------" After that day "------" no longer talked to me, he ignored me, and all their was left was for "Joey" to fill the void I had in my heart. After a successful relationship "Joey" finally ended it, saying we were going to fast... I no longer had anyone to cover up the sadness that they left me, and started to cry everyday waiting for them to come back to me. I became obsessed and eventually had thoughts of suicide, but I never did have the courage to cut into my arm. In my mind I knew no one would want me anymore from the terrible thing I've done to "------", and decided to never love again. All I ever wanted was Jerome's attention and acceptance, I had eventually got it but lost it so easily.
"Yes, this whole relationship thing was over the Internet, but it didn't matter to me because I felt so close to him that even distance couldn't tear me apart from him, I know it was naive of me to think it would last even though I cheated on him, I still hoped the relationship would still make it through"
Tags: 1
My boyfriend of six years broke up with me valentines day. Completely outta the blue I wake up that morning to a text by him saying that he doesn't know what to tell me bout our plans for that day cause he met a girl hes ''been talking to" and she takes up all his time now and he has no use for me now. He told me get lost. It was the most brutal heartbreak I ever felt. We'd spent the three days prior to that together and talking bout what kinda things we'd like to do together in life. He'd told me we were meant for each other the very night before...and to do it on valentines day was the cruelest thing. He wouldn't answer his phone or texts that day. The next day he texted he wanted to talk and see me. I said no. Two days of continually asking me I finally agreed. He sat right in front of me at my kitchen table and told me he was confused and didn't know whAt he wanted and that the new gf wasn't even really his gf yet. He basically buttered me up with compliments and I believed him like a fool. The very next day he invited himself over started acting like a complete jerk by texting her continuously and then saying after 45 min into our dinner date that he was done and he had to take me home cause he had somewhere to. I said whats wrong with you I don't understand. He went crazy yelling and screaming for me to get the hell out of his car and that he hates me and not to invite him over again. I said are you on drugs or something cause you invited yourself. He drew his fist back at me like to punch me and I started to cry cause I'd never seen anything like this ever. He had instantly changed. He threw his coke on me as I got out the car and was pushing on me to get out making me fall. I was completely freaked out. This was not the same guy I'd Been with for the last six years of my life which now feel completely wasted. This was like something out of a scary movie. I'm completely devastated and don't know what to do or why this is happening. I think maybe he is on drugs cause I've discovered he's been taking some of my prescriptions from my purse here in the last two months. It's only thing I can think of. . I also was told by him that he'd ran his car into a ditch drunk with a few of his new friends in the car with him the night before he came over the first day we talked. He said they'd been celebrating his buddy's 21st bday and that this particular friend who I've tried to invite to do things with us and to bring along his gf, well I got told that friend doesn't like me so that's why I'm getting dumped. Please if anybody on here can possibly relate or just tell me anything,to help this terrible thing I'm going through I would very much appreciate your advice or comments. Thanks
Tags: Best Friend, Messy, Life Goes on,
So I've been through a lot this past year and I feel like I am falling into the same pattern. It all started when I came out of the closet in February of 2008, my best friend didn't really know how to handle it. I could tell that he really wasn't okay with it, what I didn't know was that it was because he was actually gay too. So a few months after I came out out he eventually told me he was fine with it, and it was one of the happiest moments of my life. As time passed I noticed a change in him and then in July of 2009 he came out to me, and my reaction was well a little surprised. I never would have thought he was ever gay, he tried so hard to conceal that he was gay, he even dated and slept with girls, so it took some real evidence to prove that he wasn't messing with me. So he told me about the guy he had been seeing and it was all fine and dandy. Since I had met my best friend I always found him attractive, but now he was actually available. Summer turned to fall and soon enough he told me that he wasn't gay anymore, that 'it was a lifestyle choice he didn't wish to pursue.' I didn't believe him then and I don't believe him now mostly because I've seen him on a gay dating site recently. But never the less I still really liked him. He showed me this dating site that he used to meet guys and he signed me up, even though 'he wasn't gay anymore' he always insisted that I go out and meet guys, he was rather adamant which I found a bit odd, considering he was never interested in my love life before. Things began to get messy when he started to act out and act well a little recklessly, mostly because we and all of our friends were turning 19 and could start drinking, so he'd drive drunk, and he would do just do the dumbest things. This behavior went on for a year which brings us to 2011. 2011 was a very hard year for me. One day in the middle of July and I don't know the exact date, but he came over with some stuff I left at his house and he handed the items to me. I asked what was wrong and if he wanted to get a coffee, and he said 'Why would we do that?' and I said 'Because we're friends' and he replied 'Are we?' After that he turned away and I never saw him again. A month later I found out it was because I had feelings for him and that he had told all of our friends that I was a liar and horrible friend, that I was somehow delusional and that I had gone around spreading lies that he was gay when I told maybe 2 people who didn't say a word. So in the end he turned out to just be a coward who was trying to save his own ass who didn't care who he hurt in the process. Its been 7 months and I still haven't spoken or seen him, in the end I realized he would never have the courage to tell people how he really felt about anything or that he would never have the courage to tell anyone that he was a homosexual, and sometimes I feel like I may have hindered that. But its not always going to be my fault the blame will fall on him and all the lies and all the pettiness will catch up to him and everyone will see him for what he is. I won't vilify him and he shouldn't vilify me, we were both in our own ways wrong. I don't miss him anymore, I don't even want to be friends with him, mostly because of this one simple fact, I was his best friend and he always told me we would be friends no matter what, and I think to myself;I was hi best friend and look what he did to me? Why would I want to be friends with such a selfish person? Who put his own need to hide a silly secret above my feelings, I guess I wasn't as important to him as he liked to say, because if I was he would have at least talked to me and tried to work it out. I won't ever go back because I know if I did everything would be like it was before, he wouldn't respect me and it would be a misrealble disaster.
I'm moving on and more and more I am forgeting him, it started in September when I realized I couldn't remember the sound of his voice or his laugh, then things about him started to slip, and now I am starting to forget what he looked like, I feel like one day I'll need to grab a picture to remember him.
Tags: example1
I met him in 7th grade. We were friends, then 8th grade came around, and we got together. We were together for 2 1/2 years when we ended. He cheated on me with another girl. He had hickeys on his neck. I was so...broken. He was my first love, my first everything, and I was so in love with him. People may say that at my age, we still don't know what love is, but, I do. I gave 2 1/2 years of my life and spent it with him. We had so many good times, but also, so many bad. He was always mean to me, calling me names, ignoring me when I was upset, and cheating on me. Hes always cheated on me since day 1. But everytime we broke up, I blamed myself. I never felt good enough for him, and I felt like maybe if I changed the way I was, he'd like me more and he'd start treating me better. But last week, he cheated again. I broke up with him, and it hasn't been easy for me. I love him so much, and I just want to know what I ever did to deserve this, why I was never enough. I want to be loved back, and appreciated. He haws new girlfriend now, and its tearing me apart. I'm so.hurt in all of this, and he doesn't care. I don't know how I'm going to get over this. And I wanna know why I want someone who doesn't want me. Its hard spending that long with someone, and then not having them at all. :/
Tags: First Love
I recently heard somewhere that “The best way to get over a woman is to turn her into literature” so this is my effort to get over her.
I met my first love in my first year of college back in sep 2008 we instantly clicked, I had dated before but never felt a connection with anyone the way I felt with her. It was nice hanging out with her and all so I confessed my feelings to her, she said that she felt the same way about me but was not looking for a relationship as she had just come out of a serious relation and was still trying to get rid of her EX. I gave her time and after 4 months we eventually started dating. We were in a committed relation for 10 months in that period we had met each other’s parents and everything seemed to be working pretty well. Well out of nowhere she told me that she was planning to go out of country for further studies and would probably be leaving 6 months later so she wanted to end the relation as long distance does not work and she would miss me too much to be able to stay away and she wanted to stay friends. Well we broke up; I stayed away from her and had a rebound fling that lasted a month. After two months I started dating a girl which was a mutual friend to my ex and it was going great but my ex started contacting me again and when she found out that I was kind of getting serious about this new girl she broke us up. So I started dating my EX again, we dated for three months and we broke up again that was in the starting of 2011. She contacted me 3 months ago and we have been in touch ever since and she told me that she wanted to get married to me, well we never really started dating again just kept in touch. This created a lot of issues for me as this girl was my first love I still had feelings for her, so I told her that this wasn’t working. We fought a full one month and all she kept doing was postponing things. So day before yesterday I called her up and told her it wasn’t working out and I couldn’t do this anymore, she asked me to meet her but this had been going on for a while that whenever I tried to come to a conclusion she would ask me to meet up and cancel at the last moment this had gone on for a full month so I told her that there was no point and asked her not to contact me again. That night I had a couple of drinks and slept on it, next morning I woke up and it hit me….In the past 3 n a half years we were together a cumulative of a 2 years had broken up 3 times, we both had dated other people but we were always there for each other. I realized that I might never see her again…….ever since I have been thinking if made the right decision….
Tags: love hurts, im sorry
It all started in 8th grade this shy quiet guy name christian was in my class he was really shy and like he would hang around my crew but wwe really didnt fuck wit him like that..I was a very loud girl very popular.. and i would always bully him because he was shy but then he starte dating this girl and they dated for a year but he was till shy.. oh yea and he was smart too.. but like a year later in my freshman my friend andrea showed him a picture of me in new years and like he saw it and he said "damn she fine" he was saying that bout me wellshe told me and i was like who is christian i already had forgot bout him till i seen him in the hall way and like i told her to tell him that he was fine theni got his number from her.. so we started txtin him and like he was the sweeetest guy in the world he cared about me even back then when we havent even had started dating like he seemed to match to the "perfect" guy every girl would like to meet.. so we started dating on 2.25.10 but we broke up like on june 30. 2010 because iwasnt sure of what i felt for him anymore... i was confused i was so used to being single and like i wanted my freedom back and i broke up with him poor him he was torn apart i broke his heart and i was his second gf. well like a month or two later we started dating again till like my "bestfriend" told him that i cheated on him and it was a total lie why would i cheat on him when he was the sweetest guy in the world the guy i loved the guy i wanted to spend the rest of my life with... well we broke up and like a month later we got together again and another "bestfriend" told him i had cheated and i dint cheat this time.. they where jus mad because of the guys they loved didnt wanna b with them anymore.. well we got back together...again.. till i forgave one of the girls that said shit to him and he got mad told me no to hangout with her or any of my other firends i said okay so i lost all my friends.. well me and this girl started being friends again and like she took me somewhere and he got mad and broke up wit me... this was 7.2.11 and like since then i would txt him nad i wouldnt get a respond soo i would one day i wanted to see if i was still important to him so i made up a lie and told him i had cancer, and i also told him i was pregnant! but he caught me in my lies and didnt wanna b wit my anymore and he dindt get the pont that i did it jus so i can be with him..he never really appreciated me he started being mean to me and like wold even put his hands on me.. but now this month he told mehe wanted to work this out we have been having sex again but after i left him get it he left me for a girl that has been tryna get wit him for about two years.. and like now im heartbroken 1/28/2012 i was so used to him :(
Tags: Confused12
Okay so me nd him were together for about a year at first he was very sweet caring and all but now i just dont feel the same and i dont know how i feel about him anymore so i broke up with him and he said when did i ask u to stay in a relationship with me i was sooo shocked because in every fight we had he acted very desperate ut i beleive that he was only keeping his respect well any ways i didnt tell any of my friends about this and now when i did tell them all of them are going against me and say u broke the poor boy's heart and they say that he still loves u and they also want a reason for me breaking up with him and they say that im just a flirt and their trying to change my mind but i will not!!!!what i want to do is ask him if he still loves me but i dont know how to.. Can someone please help me
Once i was seeing this guy. he was such a sweetheart, nice, caring, cute, handsome. just everything i wanted. we got along really well we texted &talked everynight we seen eachother almost everyday things were going so well it was like id known him for years. we kissed a couple times and everything was perfect until i found i he had been playing me and had a girlfriend halway through the thing we had.
so a couple months later i was talking to this guy. he was funny and we had some common stuff and alot of mutal friends. He came around mine for 10 minutes with a mate as she needed to get something and me and him spoke for abit. we started talking alot, and then we got really close me and him had a few hookups and then i found out he was the bestfriend of the guy i had last seen i didnt know what to do but i kept seeing him anyway. the guy i seen before him texted me calling me a player. and saying ohh get in their with my bestfriend and then abusive ones again. so i havent seen his friend in awhile nor him. it really hurts knowing theres guys out there like that. disrespectful, and just hurts girls for a living. i really do hope that i see his friend again as we got really close.
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