Searching for "depression"

46 Results For 'depression'

Vincent

April 08, 2015 @ (Croatia)

Tags: Bad breakup, Cruel, Depressive

About 2 years ago I met a girl that at the time I thought was the cutest and funniest girl I have ever met. We met through my brother because he knew her sister really well. She came down to my town for college and we really hooked up at the beginning, and I actually thought she could be the one. We had great time together, we played video games, watched movies, went out, all the classic things. And, I must be honest, I lost my virginity to her, and that first time for me was amasing, she really showed a lot of affection towards me and at the time I was quite a loner and she was practically my first real girlfriend. I did everything for her, just as she did everything she could for me.
The backstory of it all is that I suffer from depression and at the time I took antidepressives at a weekly basis because I was a wreck most of the time. With her I finally felt special,I felt needed and loved, the thing I most desired at the time. While I was with her I stopped taking antidepressives because I didnt need them when I was around her, but I never told her about my condition for I didnt want her to worry about it. After about a year and a half she stopped returning most of my phone calls, she stopped caring about me and she even despised the fact that I loved her. She would say things like, I never show emotions to other people, I am not a girl for long relationships and so on, even though she was the first one to say that she loves me.
One day I went to two funerals that were out of town, one was my cousins and the other a really good friend. I came home feeling really sad and I called her hoping she could make it better. She answered the phone, we talked a bit but she sounded all a bit too distant, I got mad at the fact that she cant give me any support in this, and after a brief fight over the phone, she said we should end it. At the time I actually supported the idea, because I felt no emotions that night, I was an empty shell, but when I laid down in bed I just broke, I cried myself to sleep.
I eventually took all the things I had at her place, and I moved on, the good thing that came out of it is that I dont take medication any more, I broke all contact with her because I felt that is was the change I needed at the time. Anyways, I feel better now, it all happened about a month ago, and it all seems so distant right now, all I can say for the end, Im happy for the good memories.

Brokenheart

March 14, 2015 @ (india)

Tags: bad break up.

I have been in a long distance relationship for a year now and my boyfriend has been acting really weird from the past two months. he has been desperately trying to end the relationship. the last time i met he seemed depressed and i thought its just the depression and the work pressure that has made him this way. we fight alot and he gets so upset that he ends up crying. we had a huge fight on my birthday which was a month back. Ever since then he seems to complaining of severe depression and that he hasnt been able to sleep and said he wanted some space. after two days he calls me and tells me that he is ending this relationship for good and that he hates me. he even said that he will be looking out for girls from april to get married too. I was shattered and i honestly didnt know what was going on. a week later he calls me again and says he was sorry and he cant live without me. I took him back but i was tooo hurt to heal so quickly and accept that he wanted me. it wasnt even three days when got into yet another fight. he then withdrew and stopped talking to me. i later get a call from his boss and his boss who is way older than us, said that its best i move on. I FEEL SO TORN APART . i dont even know why he did this to me. i dont know what is the actual reason for the break up. i loved him so much that in my mind we were already married. i saw him like my husband. why would a guy do this to me? i request him to meet me one last time in april when he comes here, but he bluntly refused. I REAALLY DONT KNOW WHY THIS HAPPeNED. i tried way to hard to make this work. something in me says he loves me. the other half tells me ive been only manipulated and kicked around like a football in and out of his life. I NEED SOME ADVICE.

Unbelievable

January 10, 2015 @ (toronto, ontario)

Tags: bad breakup, hurt, unbelievable, played, sad

I have loved him for more than 5 years. We've had a thing for almost a year but that never blossomed into a real relationship until a year and a half ago. During that year of us having a 'thing', I couldn't stop thinking about him- he was my first thought every morning and every night. Everything about him I loved, his flaws, his personality. He was someone who inspired me to become a better person, someone who made me become a better person ever since we met. I was stupid to wait around. That year of our 'thing', he ended up telling me that his feelings for me weren't as strong anymore and that I should go off and 'explore a bit' with other guys. Out of anger, out of hurt, I did. My friend chased me. And I decided to give him a chance.

It wasn't long before he came back. Grovelling, crying, begging. He tore me away from my relationship with my friend. And I was stupid enough to have believed he wanted me for real this time. He was romantic and even wanted to be my 'official' boyfriend this time- and he is not the type of person to ever label things without thinking things through. So broke my friend's heart, and ran off with this guy. Everything was great.. until it wasn't. He rarely texts, rarely makes time to see me. He would be so involved with his work, and his gym life. He would spend his actual birthday with his guy friends instead of me. He doesn't feel the want to see me. He got me way too easily. He was so sweet in the beginning I couldn't believe it. I knew it was too good to be true.

On december 27, 2014, he told me he was going to make a big move in his career. When I told him about my point of view, how I was willing to support him and follow him, he told me to really think about it. He didn't want me to go.

5 days later, on new year's day, he broke up with me, saying after the past 3 days of thinking he decided it was best for us to break up. After investing so much in this he decided, after 3 days, to break up. He crushed me. For the second time in my life, by the same person and for the same reasons. He couldn't feel anything with me anymore. He just fell out of love. And after a year and a half, told me his family and my family would never work out together.

I am beyond sad. My heart feels like there's a gigantic canyon on it, in it. Depression is real. This is real.

Aurora

December 07, 2014 @ (California )

Tags: Bad breakup I hate everything Never letting a guy play me again

I liked this guy for months, he finally asked me out last night. Guess what happened? He broke up with me the next morning. I feel like everyone thinks "It was better this way then you don't get too attached" Well not for me. He played with my emotions so much. I wont repeat all the amazing things that he said to me that no guy has ever said to me before. He played with me and I've been dealing with depression for years now, my self confidence is very low. When he complimented me I felt like I was getting some of my self confidence back, then he just goes and makes me feel like a fucking worthless bag of dog shit. I literally feel like no one cares. Of course there's your family who care, but they don't understand! I don't want to be seen in public I feel like everyone see's how worthless I am. I hate myself like I actually hate everything about me and no matter how many times I will say "I'm fine," I'm fucking not fine! Not at all. I feel like no one gets it. Everyone thinks that I couldn't be hurting this much. Well your wrong. I gained confidence, I felt wanted for the first time in months. Then he made me feel like it was a game to him. So if anyone thinks its okay to do this and play with someones emotions because you really don't think they will care, think twice! Because you're fucking wrong!ï»¿
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Ren

November 10, 2014 @ (England)

Tags: Bad breakup, cheating, Sad, heartbroken, young, betrayal, boyfriend, depression

I was with my boyfriend for 3 years, roughly. Heâ€™s cheated on me around 7 times, and broken up with me for another girl. He always comes back to me in the end, and of course, I love him so much that I always take him back. This is my first serious relationship and itâ€™s killing me. He was always telling me to change, and made me feel really bad about myself at times. He would also always talk about his exâ€™s in a negative way and call them psychopaths, but now Iâ€™m starting to relies that he did that to them through his manipulation, and I too am falling victim to it. We would break up once every two weeks on average, usually because I would bring something up about him cheating, and he would figure out some way to spin it round on me. Every time we broke up, I felt worthless. Some days I wouldnâ€™t even get out of bed. As soon as we got back together Iâ€™d be happy again and it felt like an instant weight had been lifted off my chest. Until the next break up that is. On Saturday he went to a â€˜friendsâ€™ house and switched his phone off all night. I told him I was done with him, and the next day he text me agreeing that we should end things for good.
I obviously begged him to stay and told him that I didnâ€™t mean what I said but he hasnâ€™t replied and won't answer his phone. I know I canâ€™t keep going through this as it is making me so depressed. But I canâ€™t stand to be away from him. I donâ€™t know if this really is the final break up. I just donâ€™t know what to do anymore.

Carmen

May 29, 2014 @ (United States)

Tags: break-up, annoying, bad person

We were juniors in college when we finally started dating. We'd been friends for a few months and had attended some social functions on campus together. Unfortunately for him, Tom had a terrible reputation on campus, not for being a player or anything, but for being a terrible person in general. My friends constantly reinforced this information before I agreed to date him exclusively. I questioned him about the various rumors regarding him and his only answers involved: "I don't remember," or "That's all in the past." I was extremely skeptical that anyone could change that fast (we'd only been in school for a couple of years!) but I wanted to see who he was for myself so I agreed to go out with him. The next six months were filled with depression and anger for me for a lot for a lot of reasons. For one thing, he would talk about problems we were having with a mutual female friend rather than talking to me about them. I didn't know I was in a threesome! He was a terrible communicator in general. When talking to his friends or an audience, he would be charming, but when talking to my friends or meeting my family, he was incredibly awkward. It wouldn't have bothered me as much if he were shy, but he was able to hold perfect conversations with complete strangers. On top of all this, I witnessed him lying to other people's faces, including his friends and family. Because of this, I knew for sure that he could not be trusted. Around the three-month mark, we exchanged "I love you's" and around that time, the little affection he was showing me was slowly wearing down. He never complimented me much anyway (except when we were making out), but those just stopped. Our time together was mainly spent making out once a week in his dorm even though I insisted that we should spend time talking and bonding in other ways. I guess he thought that because I was in love with him I was going to tolerate that. And I did for another two months before telling him that I'd been feeling neglected and that he wasn't keeping up his end of the compromise (He told me he'd be more open emotionally if I agreed to make out with him more). He told me it was hard and that that was the way he'd always been. No effort. No anything. He was the first person I'd done ANYTHING physical with and that was hard for me, but I was willing to try and compromise. He didn't try at all. During month six, I dumped him while we were on a walk. He was shocked. I did cry the weekend afterward, but I quickly realized how much happier I was without him in my life. I couldn't believe how being involved with him could make me feel so lonely and depressed. I've been single for a month now and while it sucks sometimes, I know I'm mentally in a better place now. I learned that it's better to be alone than with the wrong person.

Annie

March 26, 2014 @ (Los Angeles)

Tags: Badbreakup hopeless love

As a seventeen year old girl I have been told that I am beginning to start out my life. But I can't seem to wrap my finger around it I don't know why but I truly hate being a teenager.. Well anyways I grew up in a very Christian family where as a small child I was not exposed to much of the outer world I was literally locked up at home with only gospel music and movies of Daniel in the lions den. I guess you can say I was an innocent child, when I started high school I had everything planned out I would go to school stay in my books and study hard to graduate with no drama . Life however decided to throw me the unexpected. At the age of fourteen I met a guy who was like no other or so I thought, he showed me everything that I didn't know existed for example music genres, because of him I found out that I love alternative rock, yea yea I didn't know what that was xp.. I really thought we would be together forever like he told me, we even ran away together. my parents did not like the fact that I started to date an "outsider" a guy who wasnt Christian so they did everything possible to break us up, I was sent to Texas for a couple of months but that didnt work. Nothing they did worked, my family would warn me about how guys only use you or that he will find someone else then leave you stranded I didn't believe them, I admit I am a stubborn person. I loved him with all my heart and but to this day I still do, I love him so much that it hurts v.v We had dated for three years, he then broke up with me right after our three year anniversary. I gave up everything to him, my innocence, my trust, my love everything even money. Everyday we would spend together and when he broke up with me I felt as if I was being hit by trucks. It has been 5 months since our break up and I still can't move on. I have tried just about everything there is to forget but it's hard, especially since my school is literally one hall way. I see him everyday and it hurts, just yesterday I saw him with another girl.. And it hurt since yesterday would have been 3 years and 5 months. To make matters worse i recently found out that he had cheated on more than once throughout our relationship, and honestly that just made my depression worse..He was my first boyfriend ever and probably my last, guys are too complicating and I'm not good with relationship. I was told to never run away from my problems but there are times where you have to get away to continue with your life. I'm a senior with only two months until graduation, but because I decided to take the teenage love life experience I am forced to transfer schools. Life as a teenage girl.. .-.

Ari

March 11, 2014 @ (Miami, FL)

Tags: She cheated, bad breakup, bitch

During my freshman year of highschool, I was worried about making friends, but I did surprisingly well in a social aspect. On the 3rd week of school, a girl sat right in front of me during our physical education class. This girl just moved in to my town in August and supposedly the reason why she moved is because her single father sent her here because his wife divorced him. But something strange I noticed is that her older sister and younger brother stayed with her father in New Jersey (this all took place in Miami, FL). I didnâ€™t mind though. Anyhow, I met her in that class and after about 2 days of being just friends, we started dating. It turns out she actually had a crush on me and thatâ€™s why she sat in front of me on that day. I was, from what she said, her "first kiss" and also her "first boyfriend" and I didn't doubt it at all; in fact, I was honored because of it. Nothing could take that title away from me. For the first month, everything was fantastic. No arguments. No stress. It was all make out sessions, guitar songs on the beach, and basically, just pure relationship shit. I wasn't in love with her though, but I still cared very much for her. I put her in front of my family and friends, always got her gifts, always made her happy whenever she was down, helped her with schoolwork, family issues, depression, friends; I put everything I had into this. After the first month, she gave me a letter that said that after highschool we should move in together and get married someday, which did seem rather clingy, but I said yes because at that moment, I fell in love. She gave me a blowjob that day too which seems weird considering she had no experience before me (remember I was her first kiss and her first boyfriend). Around that time, they switched around my classes and they switched me out of the one class I had with her. The day after that, she starts talking about another guy. I didn't mind though because she had many other guy friends she would talk about occasionally (I did get a bit jealous, but it never got the better of me). Over the next two weeks or so, she started talking more about him, and eventually started texting him and hanging out with this other guy more than me. That Friday I went over her house, re-ignited the spark, and even got head. Everything was fantastic for the both of us. We were so happy; until Monday, of course. She was pissed at me for an unknown reason on Monday, so I resolve it that Tuesday by surprising her in the morning with flowers, using the cologne she likes, using the clothing she loves I wear; the small things she always mentioned. That didn't work. But on the bus later that day, I won her back. She said she was mad because I was too clingy. Ok, fair game. So I stopped being clingy. However, after two days she's pissed at me again because I was being too friendly (the opposite of clingy) and she ditched me that day. I immediately took the bus (which I almost got kicked off of), went home, wrote a letter for her, dressed really nicely, and ran 3 miles to her house to surprise her. I then fix everything AGAIN with her and we plan to meet up on Sunday (our 2 month anniversary). We decide to meet up at the mall at 7:00, go to my empty place until 11:00, and return. She ends up showing two hours late, didn't kiss or hug me or anything when I greeted her, canceled our plans, texted the guy she was obsessed about (and freaked out about the fact he got a haircut), left me with a huge bill for the food, and didn't even kiss me that night. After she left, she texted me saying that I only wanted her for sex (not true) and I go off explaining that I love her for the love she gives me not her body and etc. She then says that she loves me and is never going to leave me and we go on for a while exchanging about how much we loved each other. I was relieved. However, not even 24 hours later, she texts me saying that we should be friends for a couple weeks and then get back together. Things took a turn for the worst when that Thursday she leaves me (through a rumor nonetheless) and on that same day, about an hour after I heard we broke up, makes out with that guy she was obsessed about and texted all the time and freaked over his hair. Even though I tried to get her back with letters and chocolates and flowers and words from the heart and whatnot, it failed, and I was miserable. She said she wanted to be friends but then rumors spread that made me look bad and made her hate me. I fell into a deep depression. After we've been apart for a month, one of my best friends that Iâ€™ve known for 3 years now mentioned to me that while we were dating she sent him nude pictures of herself and even let him feel her up. She cheated on me with my best friend and then left me for her best friend/obsession (seemed kind of dumb considering said person has cheated on a lot of girls and has a face full of pimples). I still loved her though. Even though she treated me like crap, always texted other guys, showed up late and cancelled our plans I didn't care; I loved her. Unconditionally.

Today weâ€™ve been broken up for a couple months. They ended up fucking but Iâ€™m pretty sure theyâ€™re both cheating on each other which seems pretty disgusting to me. I just wonder if it was really worth it when she slept with himâ€¦ I guess I just need to learn the simple rule of â€œDonâ€™t talk to strangersâ€. Good thing Iâ€™m over her.

Henry

February 28, 2014 @ (Kerman, CA)

Tags: Bad break up

So I'm a guy, and I was in a gay relationship for 1 year and 8 months. It was like the perfect relationship, and I was so in love. It was my first time in a relationship and it started May of 2012 up until now. There were never really any signs that their was something wrong with us. We were always happy and loving to each other. When he moved to another state communication was hard. It was Arkansas, and I was in California. He was planning on staying over there and not coming back, but he only stayed there for only about a month because he feel into a depression and came back to be with me. We were good up until there was problems with his family and him, this was in December 2013. One day he took me to the place where we first fell for each other and told me he's going to have to move back to Arkansas because he can't take the drama here. I was sad knowing he was going to leave back again. Then when the day came on January 3 2014, he was packing all his stuff and was getting ready to leave. I told him to be with me in his room alone, and surprised him with a new cell phone so we could contact each other. He cried a lot and said thank you so much, you know my family would've never done this for me. The he hugged me for a long time crying. When he left i felt depressed, knowing he might just stay over there this time. A month later he facetimed me for the first time and we where so happy to see each other, we would text each other through facebook daily and that kept my calm. A week before valentines day i sent him a card that I personally made with all are pictures on it... Then he called two days later like normally but I screwed up the conversation. I got awkward about a topic and I wasn't talking the whole time on the phone. Then he suddenly hung up. I called him back and told him, you hung up.. And he said, yeah I did.. I said, are you made at me.. He said well what do u think, you know I hate it when you don't say anything on the phone.. So I asked, do u still want to talk to me?.. He said, not really.. I said, ok I'm sorry i really am.. He said, it's ok I'm over it already.. I'll talk to you tomorrow. The next day I got a msg from him.. It hurt me. He said, ok, yesterday u left me thinking on how long Ive been without you and managed to be fine. So I'm sorry, I don't love you anymore and before you start with that no i can do better stuff just think and be an adult. Your a great guy with a lot of love and the person who loves u is lucky, but I don't love u. I have to put my own goals first. So yeah I guess this is goodbye. It's over. I was so sad and couldn't think right.. I was left with no talk from him in a few days, we talked but it was nothing like we would normally talk to each other.. Then a week passed with no talking, and then yesterday the 27 of February, his best friend from here came to my house to facetime him, I let them talk by themselves but I called his friend over to talk to me real quick. I told here to put the earphones on but don't plug them in.. He told her to put in earphones so nobody would hear what he was about to say. So she put them on but didn't plug them in and I was secretly on the side of her, but he didn't know. He said to her through facetime, ok, I don't have a lot of time but that guy me and josh we broke up. He was pulling that whole act that Henry did and i was like been there done that, I don't know what we are, I think we're just friends but now I'll stick to school I guess. But when I'm 18, I'll try a few dates every now and then....... After I heard that whole thing I was heart broken. To know that he dated someone 3 days after we broke up made me feel like shit, I felt like I didn't matter i felt like I was nothing. How can u go into a relationship real quick after breaking up a almost 2 year relationship.. I doesn't make sense, his friend told him a heard everything and he was like in shock because he didn't want me to know. I talked to him later that day just us two. I asked him if that whole time that we facetimed and before when he was crying and about to move.. If he still loved? me that whole time. He said no, he had no feelings for me and he was just being nice and didn't know how to break it to me. So we just ended it for good and that was that. I feel betrayed, lost, confused, depressed.. I don't know how I'll get over my first love, my everything. I built a foundation for us, only for me having to take it down... It's hard. We have had so many loving memories in my home town it's hard not to think about it.. I go to the place where we felt for each other, it hurts. But I feel close to him when I'm there. I still love him. I can't hate him because he showed me many things in life, basically helped me out A LOT. But i do hate his poor choices and the people that might of influenced him to go in a relationship after ours. I thank and love him for being there when I needed him there, he's my best friend and the only person that gets me like no one else. He told me we can't be friends because I still have feelings for him. He said once i loose those feelings and find someone else, we can be friends. I probably won't hear from him in a long time because he's deactivating everything he's on, like Facebook.etc. if i do find someone else, I'll probably have feelings for him still.. And would have to lie that I don't. I don't know how to manage now.. It's really hard to deal with and I find myself crying constantly. The term that I always used,(Always

Natalie

November 08, 2013 @ (Seattle)

Tags: bad break up, young love, sweet, cute, douche bag, depression, anxiety, high school, sad, ugh

Oh my gosh . My ex boyfriend is a douche bag. I swear .. I was never over him.. but he caused so much pain, and I really tried to .. BUT NOW HE WANTS TO GET BACK TOGETHER . I'VE HEARD RUMORS FROM MY FRIEND ALEX (who is also his best friend) BUT I DIDN'T BELIEVE IT. But now he's smiling at me with those beautiful teeth .. talking to me and luring me in with that voice.. the voice that's like honey and just makes me melt everytime I hear it. He changed me. I wasn't always depressed, even if my life wasn't all that great .. after my parents finalized the divorce, there wasn't much to look forward to. But he was there for me. He was always my shoulder to cry on. Ever since 7th grade . UGH, MIDDLE SCHOOL. I thought middle school was hard; but compared to high school, it was a party.. my emotions are just everywhere.. but yea, the point is, he ended up breaking me in the end. I knew it wasn't gonna last. Of COURSE I knew. But something at the back of my mind just wished it wasn't. And I guess I just couldn't accept the cruel reality that it was over. All those movie dates . All the times he'd put his arms around me.. and that smile- it was directed towards me and me only and I used to literally feel as if we were the only two people in the world. That strawberry blonde/brownish hair .. haha.. the long paragraphs he would send me in the morning about how beautiful he thought I was.. those times in third period where we laughed, he would flip his hair, start strumming that bass guitar of his while the strings teacher would yell at me about dropping my violin and then having to tune it all over again. We lived to make her annoyed omg , but I just miss it . I miss everything. I miss him. I miss not being lonely.

That time on the ferris wheel at the state fair with terry and alex? When we kissed and said 'I love you' for the 80th time?
I miss us.

The truth is, I was never over it. I miss running my fingers through his hair.

I just dont wanna be lonely.

I poured my heart out to him and he took advantage of me.

I miss that fairytale feeling.

But I guess all fairytales have to end. Just ask Troy. He had no problem ending mine.

And now he just wants to walk back into my life again? After all the pain that he's caused? Like nothing's happened? I just can't.

The thing that makes me hate myself the most? Everytime he glances at me, I still get butterflies. When I see him laugh in the hallways, my heard starts pounding inexpilcably fast. And the last and most horrifying thing? I was tempted. I was actually tempted to say yes.