Searching for "change"

195 Results For 'change'

NeedsHelp

September 12, 2010 @ (WestCoast)

Tags: Tags

My girlfriend of 9 years broke up with me to be with an old high school friend. The sad part is that I have a feeling that they will eventually get married within the next year or so. I’m absolutely crushed like never before. We’ve had our share of problems throughout our relationship and unfortunately it’s mostly my fault. I feel so stupid for taking her for granted.

We met in college back in 2001 and it started out as the most beautiful thing in this world that either of experienced. We were soul mates and were certain that we’d be together forever. It was like we were two peas in a pod, amongst a campus full of strangers and were very happy we found one another. It didn’t take us but 6 months to move in together we were so in love. However, after graduating college, I struggled for years, and was depressed even, to find a job. She supported us for most of our relationship as she was blessed with a wonderful career as an exceptional community organizer, which she now serves as the executive director of her organization. Me on the other hand, struggled immensely to find my passion, and had several dead end low paying jobs.. This was emotionally hard on me, and most certainly on her. However, we would make the best of our situation by taking various trips around the country and enjoying the natural bond we had for one another. We didn’t have to take trips really we enjoyed staying home together, whether we were intimately conversing about any topic or making passionate love. However, my career struggles took a severe toll on our relationship. I even went through a period of alcohol abuse, which lasted a couple of years. Eventually, after 4 great years she began to loose interest in me, and cheated on me a few times. Although I was obviously crushed, I took her back because I loved her so so much and believed we could work through anything, plus I always envisioned her as the mother of my kids. Fast forward to January 2008, I eventually found a job which pays great and I absolutely love-- finally I’m able to support us and feel good about myself in that regard. We celebrated the entire 2008 in the name of my success and life seemed golden--finally my career struggle was over! Unfortunately I started to drink again and lied several times about it and thus undermining any trust left. At that time, she started to give me warnings that I had to stop or else she’d leave. Fortunately I finally stopped, but we would still argue. She also began to voice, starting in mid-June of this year, that she was growing unsatisfied in our relationship and that we needed to talk. I unfortunately kept prolonging “the talk” and became slightly tuned out every time she said it. Beginning of August I noticed she started to act suspect: she seemed to pay more attention to sending text messages on her smart phone than being in my company. So, I naturally had a hunch something was wrong, so I checked her work email and noticed she made reservations at hotel to be with some random guy, the weekend I was going out of town visit college friends in LasVegas. To make a long painful story short, I confronted her about it over the phone while she was at work, she became shell-shocked that I found out and started crying. We hang up and she eventually came home from work. The first thing she said was we should break up… and that I should‘ve talked to her but now it‘s too late we have to break up. I’m begging and pleading for her to get her to change her mind, and that we should talk now, but she insisted we should break up. The next day I go to work, come back home and she’s gone. I call her and she said we shouldn’t be around each other anymore and one of us needs to move out. Now I’m in further disbelief and shock. What follows after that is even more painful drama, trauma rather, and would take another 500 words or so to explain but I‘ll save the detail--it’s bad.. In short, she’s been at a friends house for the past 3 weeks looking for a place and blocked my number from her cell phone, it turns out this random guy is an old high school friend and they are in a intimate partnership. She even hinted that they are talking about marriage. Meanwhile I’ve been alone in our old apartment reminiscing, broken-hearted but refusing to let go, looking at old pictures and her belongings, under an unbearable amount of sorrow, loss of appetite and motivation, deteriorating self-esteem and ego. I’ve been reading passages from Psalms to make it through the day. My life feels like it’s over.

Saharica

September 01, 2010 @ (nepal)

Tags: guy, girl

This happened like a week ago..
i am 16
My boyfriend though was of my same age had failed and so i was labelled as a senior...
he liked me.. and later things went on and we felt in love with each other...
he was possessive about me an over possessive one..
He had problem with everything i did.. He didnt like it when i talked to guys..
things were smooth when suddenly one day his parents decided to send him to india for his further studies...we thought we could cope up...he went...he'd cried before he left...
things were fine...
he used to mail me once in a blue because his scool was a strict one...
and then it happened.. they had their first weekend after 50 days...
3 days of being free and i thought he would call me and we would have a nice time ..
but then later found out that his dad had been there and they were persuading him to break up with me... for once i and his mother had met and i dont know how.. some people said stuffs like she's not a nice girl she has links with soo many boys to his parents...
he called me up told me none of his family members like me.. and his father wanted him to change his password...
laster he did change his password i felt bad,,,
the last day before he could return to his hostel.. we both talked online...
and we were okay.. suddenly he just stood up away from the cam and i could just hear his voice in the phone"bitch all you know is how to be horny you think i wanna see your face ever again.. you'll soon be a graduate and i just a pass-out we have no future "
how could he do that to me... when i am soo in love with him just because his parents wanted him to...
we've had sex for about eight times and when i asked him about that he was like people will call u a cheap girl if they find out where did we had sex...
how could he??
will he come back??
i want him to come back...
i have this hope in within that he still loves me and is doing this just under his parents' pressure what do i do ????

Ashes

August 11, 2010 @ (Canada)

Tags: sad, depressing

My boyfriend (now ex) started dating in my first year of highschool. It was one of those highschool relationships that you see on the movies, and who every teenage girl hopes to have. We were together all through out highschool. He was so in love with me. Honestly, Im pretty sure I could of gotten away with anything and he would always come back to me. A lot of it had to do with the fact that we were eachothers first time and lust/love was being thrown around together. But at the end of the day we really did love eachother and we had something that some people will never ever experience. We were best friends. We knew every single thing about eachother. It was a relationship where I could take a crap infront of him and that wasnt a problem at all! haha! at one point he even moved away for half a year and still we some how made it work. But then, oh i forgot to mention he is a year older than me! anyways, he started university and I was in my last year of highschool. Thats when everything changed. We had always had our problems. his was honesty issues, mine where anger issues. But once he moved on, it was like we were completley different people! I know... if any of you are reading this you are probably thinking my story is pretty boring. he never cheated on me with my sister, or i never left him at the alter. We were just two regular people who were at one moment so in love... to not even knowing who eachother were. I guess im writing this because im so depressed and bitter with the reality of relationships and life in General. We ended up breaking up because our lives and our relationships became so routine. We new that we loved eachother but we were stuck making time to see eachother to make love with one another, to make sure we set enough time to have a phone conversation once a day, made sure we sent eachother at least 10 txts a day to make sure our days were going alright. It was horrible and I was unhappy, and because I was unhappy we fought... all the time. So those "dates" turned into a boxing ring. So eventually I had to end it. that was about around last christmas. I didnt blame him, nor did I blame myself. I blamed our situation. He was in Univserity and leading a completley different life than me, I was enjoying my last year of highschool. But since we broke up, I have had a few flings, slepted with a random, tried to pretend that those guys could at some point mean something to me, but at the end of the day, it was always him, and I feel as if it will ALWAYS be him. But again, it hurts me so much to see how things change... it wasnt supposed to turn out this way. I am now moving to Europe in a few weeks for a year, he has a new girlfriend( who is horrible) and we went from being so happy and to not being able imagine our selves without eachother, to leading completley different lives without eachother in them. Am I still in love with him- Yes. most definatley... if he magicaly asked me to be with him again would i say yes-No. Definatly not. I wish i could of met him in 5 years.. thats what i always told him. I wish we met in a different life where we could be with eachother and love eachother completley without having such barriers set up between us, masking the love we had for eachother. I cry at night, i miss him every night. I dont want to leave without him touching me, kissing me, looking me in te eyes one last time. But i know thats not possible. i want him to be able to move on, all i want is for him to be happy. He deserves it.

Ann

July 09, 2010 @ (Washington)

Tags: stalker, engaged

I met my ex through a woman that I worked with (Who, in retrospect, turned out to be as much of a nutcase as my ex). So my ex and I fall "in love" and after about a year of dating, we're engaged.

At this point my soon-to-be husband had been living in the dorms on the military base an hour a way from my home. He promises that he would make the commute a little easier and move closer- even just a little(He doesn't have a car so I'm doing all the driving). So the time comes for him to find a new apartment and I find out that he completely disregards his originally promise and moves about 25 minutes the other direction. Great. We get into a fight, he tells me it's over. I spend the night miserable. The next morning I call him and we work out our issues- he then proceeds to tell me that he got mad at me and "closed" our wedding account (That he hadn't contributed a penny to) and that he left the money at the bank. Of course I find out later that he actually spent it in one night on god knows what. Like an idiot I forgive him and we continue to date....
Nine months later I drive to his apartment (still an hour and 25 minutes away) with red velvet cupcakes and plans for a romantic evening. I help myself in, he's cleaning the bathroom. I give him a big hug... and right as were having this nice moment I see the words "I want my first child to be yours." as an incoming test message. Long story short- He had been cheating on me with this chick for a while. I left heartbroken. The next week I get a death threat from the girl he cheated on me with telling me to leave him alone. I write her off as being crazy but call my ex to talk to him about it. We're talking again anf of course he says he loves me. A couple days later he "loses" his phone and is calling me from a friend's phone to tell me how he wants to work our relationship out and that he needs me. A week later I get a call from his family telling me that he was getting a restraining order against me for stalking him (really long drive to stalk someone), that he changed his number because he was afraid for his safety and that I was crazy. Two weeks later and totally not stalking him- I'm posting lovely new pictures of me and my new love interest. It's a win-win, I found someone better and he'll never have to worry about me "stalking" him again.

Emma

July 01, 2010 @ (arizona)

Tags: example1

My boyfriend and I had been together 9 months. We'd known each other and been really in love for almost 2 years. I gave him absolutely all of me. We really were great together and always had fun and showed each other how much we were in love. He always told me how he wanted to marry me and how much he loved me. Everything was going great until one week he had phone issues. He never tried to contact me in any way. When he did get his phone back, he still didn't at least text me and say he'd call me later or anything. So after going from speaking everyday or just getting an "i love you" text from him, which was always enough for me and made me feel so amazing, he went to zero communication. Who wouldn't "freak out"? I tried contacting him and got nothing. Anyway, I went to see what was going on and he told me he wanted a break and started naming off all these silly previous fights that he had already apologized for and I had forgiven and moved on. He said how I ask too much of him, which he lives 2 hours away, and he had always been able to find time to call me or just text me each day, and if a day or two went by, I was okay with that because I do know how busy he really is. Anyway, after saying all that I had finally agreed to a break. I asked if he wanted to break up and he said no, just a break for a few weeks because he didn't have time for this.
A month has gone by and I had tried to contact him out of desperation for answers the first two weeks. I have not tried to contact him for the past 2 weeks and I will not. I sent him a pour my heart out, this is what really happened with all the silly fights, and do you really love me if you're throwing away what we had...and still heard no word.
It's the most painful thing in the world to go from "i love you I want to marry you baby" to not acknowledging my existence. We are both 21, so yes I know we're young, but he had been so genuine and he doesn't sugar coat anything, so I know if he didn't love me, he would have just said so...
I've been suffering from panic attacks my whole life, but had not had an issue with them again until all of this happened. It feels as if my world crashed down. I live alone, I'm in a new state where all I have is a job so this makes things even more difficult. I do have hobbies, but cannot pursue riding horses at this time because I live in an apartment and can't afford to board a horse in town.
I wake up every morning thinking about every good and horrible thing we've gone through. After what he's done to me, I hate him, but I love him at the same time. My heart races, my stomach turns, I feel nauseous all day long and cannot eat like I used to.
I tried not making him my whole life, but I guess I felt what we had was so real, I never had to worry about him not being there. This all makes me sound pathetic, I know it does and I hate feeling this weak.
How can you love someone so much one day, and want nothing to do with them the next? And no, nothing changed. He changed. I know there isn't anotherr girl because his roommate wants to date me and I'm sure to get me to date him, he would tell me if there was another girl.
So now what? How can I get over this? I've bought books about breakups that have helped me on the whole outlook of this about how if we were so perfect, this wouldn't have happened.
But still...
anyone have any words of advice or encouragement? Anything would help. Sorry this was so long.

Carol

June 20, 2010 @ (Wisconsin)

Tags: Carol

We were together for 15 months before I finaly broke up with him. When we started going out (I asked him out)he really loved me, he cared, and he treated me right. But after a half of a year he started to change in a bad way. He would choose to play a video game over me. And he would be up all night with his friends and go home and sleep the whole afternoon, so I never could get a hold of him. And so we had about 15 break ups withen the the next few months. I always forgave him and gave him another chance. But then, he would ignore my calls and he would never text me back even though I would leave him a couple of voice messages. And some nights I would call him over 50 times cuz I was worried about him or where he was, but later, I would find out that he was over at his friends house. And he knew that he wasn't doing his part of the relationship. So I was feeling very unappreichated. Not only that but we would always argue and he treated every girl that crossed his path as if they were princesses. I did so much for him, everyday at school, I would buy him his lunch cuz he didn't have the money. I paied for every movies ticket. I even paid for everytime we went out to eat. I loved him so much. I tried so hard for him.I gave him space. I cried out my eyes for him. I went broke cuz of him. I am hated by the people who use to love me cuz of him(cuz every one I knew hated him). I changed my whole life for him. But he took me for granted, so I did what he deserved, cuz I know I deserve better. I bumped his a**.

I didn't want money or a car. I just wanted to be loved for who I am.

Dan

June 17, 2010 @ (New York)

Tags: new york

me and my girl were together since high school. she played volleyball and soccer. i played football and baseball. we were homecoming king and queen. to all the guys that read this i know it sounds gay but its true. we were completely in love and whatever. then i had to go serve in the army. i had no choice, its a family tradition. we first broke up because long distance does not really work, but we wrote a lot and thought we should at least try to stay together. she said she did not want to have anyone else.. at the time.. then i found out from my best friend, kyle, that she was hooking up and having orgies almost every night. that did not sound like her so i asked her in my next letter. found out it was true.. so fucking pissed. i guess since i was gone she changed and missed me so much or something and had to be with other people.. which i think is bullshit. i came back to new york and hooked up with her best friend to get back at her. i ended up actually liking the best friend because i hooked up with her we talked. we went to Starbucks. then my original girl wanted me back. fuck that. me and her best friend are engaged right now. so yeah.. thats my fucked up life..

Alanna

June 01, 2010 @ (somewhere in hell )

Tags: My story lol is one undeserved nightmare

last night he lied to me stayed out all night cause no curfew n the night it was changed he rather hang out with local lowermainland surrey hookers and he ignored me he truly is a peice of shit he was always mean to me cheated on me lets guys take advantage of me tell them that i think hes my bf n so ive had some creepy creepers pull their gross baby dicks n say its ok n what MY ex bf said about being with other girls and how he hangs out with them all the time but theyre all nasty n sell themselves thats low and gross and i dont do that lifestyle he scams ppl n lies to his mom n steals from her and i paid for this month then im gone but its not that sad i guess its all for the best its over alanna ive had a bad life n alot of pain n he knew it all he doesnt remeber anything about me or us or anythin,its hard to explain how bad i let this shit continue on its kinda sad but its sad that he wants to be with that lol its funny as well lol cause im really good lookin ive tried alot of things and i knew it wasnt me and he couldnt say the truth i mean if u dont wanna be w./someone u say it n ur done but hes hateful and im warnin u girls about him hell probly lie and tell u fake info about his name n shiz or drug u up so he make mula postin pics n lettin ppl watch him fuck nasty hookers w two more old men who are junkys and trash n have hores all the time like non stop im single now and i dont wanna go out with anyone i jus wanna be me lol n honestly he can kiss my sexy ass goodbye hes borin in bed fucks like a retard
this has been hard i broke up with him cause he came to me cryin cause he got awwwwwested n had to stay clean in jail for two days lol so i deleted my email from his account cause he wanted me to change his pw and i saw his gfs emails other lady friends like fuck u he thinks im stupid ...but i sent him an email or two n it wasnt bad its jus get the hell away from me buddday seriously were on a different levels and hell never change

Ely

May 24, 2010 @ (ny)

Tags: 123

i was in a relationship for 9 months with a guy that i considered to be the love of my life. everything was going well untill i started hearing rumors that he was talkng to my cousin. i couldnt believe it and at the time didnt pay too much mind to it. it just so happened to be true. they were talking and i was heart broken. my own cousin betrayed me and so did he. he begged me to forgive him and assured me that she didnt mean anything to him. unbelievably i forgave him. i was too in love with him and didnt want to lose him. Everything went well after that and there were nomore rumors.

On the day of my birthday everything changed. He sent me a text message telling me that im a hoe for not telling him that i had gone out with a guy that he knows. that got me really upset since that had happened way before him. He told me off and told me it was over. He messed up my birthday i was heart broken and stressed. But my heart still loves him its just unexplainable :/..

Brenna

May 18, 2010 @ (Michigan)

Tags: break up, cheating, lies, sad, heart broken, broken, depressed

In December of 2009, I started dating this guy. I was really in love with him, and I thought he loved me, too. At the end of the month, I found out he'd been cheating on me with some girl he met online. I decided to give him another chance because he had begged me, and I loved him. So, he tells me he's still cheating, and that he's sorry. I know it's stupid of me, but I gave him ANOTHER chance.

In March, right before my spring break, he tells me that he doesn't love me anymore and that I'm taking all his friends out of his life. I only said I was jealous because he was sleeping in the same bed as his ex girl friend who has a crush on him. (They weren't having sex.) I asked him to stop over a text message and he texted back saying he didn't love me anymore and that he was speaking from his heart.

While I was on vacation over spring break, I met a guy on YouTube, and we exchanged AIMs. On the last day of my vacation, this guy tells me that he's really my ex boyfriend and that he really still loves me, but he doesn't want to get back together.

We stayed apart for a few days after I returned from my vacation, and then he asked me out again. I said yes, because... I have quite the weak spot for him. He promises he loves me and I'm sure he's not cheating anymore, but the fact that he put me through that makes me cry all the time.