Tags: Best Friend, Messy, Life Goes on,
So I've been through a lot this past year and I feel like I am falling into the same pattern. It all started when I came out of the closet in February of 2008, my best friend didn't really know how to handle it. I could tell that he really wasn't okay with it, what I didn't know was that it was because he was actually gay too. So a few months after I came out out he eventually told me he was fine with it, and it was one of the happiest moments of my life. As time passed I noticed a change in him and then in July of 2009 he came out to me, and my reaction was well a little surprised. I never would have thought he was ever gay, he tried so hard to conceal that he was gay, he even dated and slept with girls, so it took some real evidence to prove that he wasn't messing with me. So he told me about the guy he had been seeing and it was all fine and dandy. Since I had met my best friend I always found him attractive, but now he was actually available. Summer turned to fall and soon enough he told me that he wasn't gay anymore, that 'it was a lifestyle choice he didn't wish to pursue.' I didn't believe him then and I don't believe him now mostly because I've seen him on a gay dating site recently. But never the less I still really liked him. He showed me this dating site that he used to meet guys and he signed me up, even though 'he wasn't gay anymore' he always insisted that I go out and meet guys, he was rather adamant which I found a bit odd, considering he was never interested in my love life before. Things began to get messy when he started to act out and act well a little recklessly, mostly because we and all of our friends were turning 19 and could start drinking, so he'd drive drunk, and he would do just do the dumbest things. This behavior went on for a year which brings us to 2011. 2011 was a very hard year for me. One day in the middle of July and I don't know the exact date, but he came over with some stuff I left at his house and he handed the items to me. I asked what was wrong and if he wanted to get a coffee, and he said 'Why would we do that?' and I said 'Because we're friends' and he replied 'Are we?' After that he turned away and I never saw him again. A month later I found out it was because I had feelings for him and that he had told all of our friends that I was a liar and horrible friend, that I was somehow delusional and that I had gone around spreading lies that he was gay when I told maybe 2 people who didn't say a word. So in the end he turned out to just be a coward who was trying to save his own ass who didn't care who he hurt in the process. Its been 7 months and I still haven't spoken or seen him, in the end I realized he would never have the courage to tell people how he really felt about anything or that he would never have the courage to tell anyone that he was a homosexual, and sometimes I feel like I may have hindered that. But its not always going to be my fault the blame will fall on him and all the lies and all the pettiness will catch up to him and everyone will see him for what he is. I won't vilify him and he shouldn't vilify me, we were both in our own ways wrong. I don't miss him anymore, I don't even want to be friends with him, mostly because of this one simple fact, I was his best friend and he always told me we would be friends no matter what, and I think to myself;I was hi best friend and look what he did to me? Why would I want to be friends with such a selfish person? Who put his own need to hide a silly secret above my feelings, I guess I wasn't as important to him as he liked to say, because if I was he would have at least talked to me and tried to work it out. I won't ever go back because I know if I did everything would be like it was before, he wouldn't respect me and it would be a misrealble disaster.
I'm moving on and more and more I am forgeting him, it started in September when I realized I couldn't remember the sound of his voice or his laugh, then things about him started to slip, and now I am starting to forget what he looked like, I feel like one day I'll need to grab a picture to remember him.
We had been involved for close to 5 years. For close to a year we were long distance due to his work. He was in process of moving back to my city and we were planning a future together. We had a romantic getaway to Napa and he was going to move in with me. That all changed with one phone call. It was from a woman who saw out emails, texts and phone call records. The first words out of her mouth were "I thought you were out of the picture already. He's been with me for awhile now and he's not going anywhere. He's mine." We talked for awhile and it was obvious he had women in 2 cities. I immediately called him and asked him to call me back. Later that night I got a text message that read "I met someone else and I want to start planning a future with her. Please don't contact me any more."
I was stunned. I couldn't leave well enough alone and sent him a text that night and l also called. I had a key to his storage unit, expensive designer clothes in my closet and custom sporting equipment in my garage. The next day he called to ask if I could send his things. We had a heated exchange. He never once apologized for his deceitful actions. I told him he'd have to come get his things if he wanted them. I later followed up by email and text to note he had 72 hours to schedule time with me to get them or else he could bid on it on EBay.
72 hours came and went. No response so I proceeded to sell his mountain bike, surfboard, snowboard, skis and ski boots on Craigslist. I also packed up his clothes and took them to goodwill. I then posted an ad for all the furniture and electronics in the storage unit. I sent the key to the storage unit and a goodwill receipt to his p.o. Box along with a note. I then changed my phone number so he couldn't call me. Weeks later I got a scathing email stating that he had tried to call and demanding to know what I had done with his things. I told him I sold and donated everything. He was livid and accused me of being spiteful and vindictive. We exchanged another war of words over email and then I blocked him from emailing me. I wish I could've been a fly on the wall when he went to the storage unit and found his stereo and TV gone. I'm sure somewhere in the ether is a scathing message that I never have to see since I blocked him. It's been tough bouncing back but I would rather be alone than have spent my life with someone like that.
Tags: trust, heartbreak
i've been with a girl for about 1.5 years. i met her in nyc. i'm originally from the west coast, but i moved to the city 2 years ago. anyway, throughout our entire time together, it felt like a never-ending "honeymoon phase". we were passionately in love with each other, and extremely affectionate. i moved in with her a year ago because i lost my job. she was kind enough to open her home to me. she's been nothing but amazing. her family loves me. she loves me. we had plans for the future, even plans of marriage.
though, at this moment, i am currently in la (for a short vacation) and she's in nyc. she broke up with me on the phone this morning because i'm too insecure. i have trust issues (that i am working on) and she's just tired. she's giving up on this relationship because she's tired of my lack of trust. that, i understand. but i'm confused because it was so sudden.
i think it's serious this time. we had a joint bank account for our apartment savings, and she removed her share of the money. now it's almost half-empty.
but, i'm flying back to nyc tomorrow morning. i thought about not flying back at all to avoid seeing her (just because it will be too hard), but i can't not show up for work. i at least have to put in my two weeks and get the rest of my stuff at her place. i also have unfinished business in nyc that can't be left neglected.
i also need more closure than this. i've been crying constantly all day. i've been going into my car and crying hysterically so no one would hear me. i am going through so much pain because i'm starting to believe that this is really IT. she's been the most amazing girlfriend to me, so supportive, faithful, genuine, and perfect. her imperfections are perfect to me.
i hope this was out of anger. and that she didn't mean it. otherwise, i'm on a one-way flight back to los angeles with a broken heart and a broken dream.
Tags: 1
We weren't together long, probably only over a month and the relationship felt kind of rushed, as if everything just went way too fast. It isn't as if I regret anything about the relationship as it happened, I just think it would've turned out better if it didn't go so fast.
Anyway, all of a sudden when the holidays began we saw each other less and less. I was told that he was working too much and he was too tired to see me. When I asked about our lack of communication he said that he was just too tired and that I never really talked to him. It was frustrating and despairingly I attempted a sort of silent approach interspersed with periods of strained conversation (not face to face). I have no idea how any of this was supposed to help and so I just left it. He didn't 'have time' to see me...okay, then I'll just go on and assume that he's just not interested anymore.
So basically my breakup was a prolonged period of confusion in which the dumper let me work it out for myself that we were no longer together. Whether this method of indirect break up was an act of cowardice, laziness or (seriously misguided) kindness I don't know. We still talk occasionally through social networks and such and are supposedly 'friends' in a weird way that feels like nothing meaningful. I don't feel any resentment towards him (or try not to) because this stuff happens and people lose interest. Except I hope that when it does happen most people explain this to the persons' face and don't let them painstakingly figure it out for themselves.
Tags: example1
hi, i really dont know what to do .my bf travelled to work to another country but although we were far but we kept in contact and we were so good.until he recieved email that he cant take a vacation before at least 2013 and he told me he's thinking alot about our relation and my father as he may not accept me wait him according to our traditions.and he tell me he hopes that he can reach me.when i asked him do you want to leave me he said not like that but dont base your life on me bec. Your father wont accept that.l cant bear this pain i feel he doesnt care but he told me he still love me and he is working there for my sake. Could anyone tell me what to d?? i havent eat for a week and im crying all day and i tried to text him but he doesnt respond?
I am lost in my heart and my soul. I am very active in my church and I spend a great deal of time proselytizing to help bring others to Christ. Ever since I was 14 our minister has taken a special hand in my learning of Gods will and ways. He even encouraged me to date his adopted daughter Svetlana after he brought her here from Russia. A couple of years later, Pastor Williams encouraged me to marry Svetlana even though we were both still in school. We were married when I was 16 and she was 14. I was nervous as I was a virgin on our wedding night and I wanted to take it slow but Svetlana was very insistant that we have sex. We made love once, then she never wanted to do it any more. 6 months later our beautiful daughter Kima was born, 8 lbs 4 ounces and looked just like her mother. Pastor Williams was so helpful always offering to look after my wife and baby when ever he sent me out to spread the word of God. I had to leave school, because Pastor told me God spoke to him and said I was to be his beacon in the land to guide folks to his eternal love. I was often gone from home for many days and sometimes weeks as Pastor gave me instructions on where to spread His word. One day I was traveling near our home town, so I decided to stop in to see my family. When I went in to our trailer, I found my wife and Pastor Williams asleep in our bed. I could see they were both naked. I was so confused and I left without saying anything. A few days later, I talked to Pastor about it and he said the two of them had been praying and speaking in tongues. They had both been so posessed by the spirit, they chose to bare themselves to the Lord. He assured me that they had not engaged in fornication and that they both were just so exhausted they fell asleep. I believed him because I know he would never lie as it is a sin. Well, last week I found out Svetlana is pregnant again and her and I have not had sex since our wedding night. When I asked the Pastor for guidance, he told me I needed to "man up" and take care of my family. He explained to me that some women can carry a mans seed for years and have several children from only one mating. But then a sister in the church told me that she knew Pastor and my wife were committing adultry and that Pastor is actually the father of my Kima and my unborn child. I dont know who to believe, but I am so hurting in my soul. I think this may be the Lord testing me, or perhaps Satan trying to destry another of God's unions. I asked Svetlana to be truthful with me, and she just left and went to tell Pastor that I am being sinful in mistrusting her. I got on the internet to seek answers and somehow wound up on this site. I see so much pain here, and somehow feel kinship with it. But I also want you all to know, God loves you all, and he wants only your happiness. God has a plan. May he bless us all, Amen.
Tags: My story
Hi all, at last found a site where i can spill my feelings. It all stated 8 years back. My neighbour boy (who calls me big bro) was my very good friend since childhood. He is 4 years younger to me and was doing BDS (bachelor in Dental Surgery). He had a senior girl in the college whom he respected as a elder sister. In many conversations he used to cite her examples. I became influenced towards this girl and asked him to give me her mobile number. Upon a promise that i wont play with the girls feelings, he gave me the number. After many attempts to make the girl talk to a stranger, she finally felt comfortable talking to me. Our relationship grew on phone and though we hadn't seen each other, the inter bond kept growing. Then one fine day, we decided to meet. On the first look, it was love at first site for both of us. Whenever she had to go her college in the other distant city, i used to drop her to the next city bus stand. Shopping together, going into malls..... all was like a dream. Then after 3 years, i asked her to ask her parents for marriage as i was very keen to get married to her and so she was. She belonged to a hindu brahmin family which had a staunch belief in astrology. When her parents asked my birth details, i gave them my true details. Although i knew our horoscopes don't match, still i wanted to marry her on truth and not on a bed of lies. Her father told me that since she was a manglik (an astrological condition) and i was not she could be married to a manglik boy only. We both tried to convince them for 2 long years but they didnt agreed. Although i am well educated and placed at a high position in an MNC, they said a straight "NO" to me. She even tried suicide thrice to convince them but they didnt agreed. After that, she started avoiding my calls. As our relation was entering its seventh year, my family told me that they can'nt wait any longer and my mother being hyper tensive, wanted the things to be settled at this end or the other. Finally, we went to see her father to convince him about my love but a straight NO was his answer. I was heartbroken as the girl stopped picking up my calls. I went through a three month anti depression course. Then my family finalised some other girl for me and got me married. After two years of marriage and a son, my ex again came in contact with me. She is still single, has crossed 30 years of age and is repenting on her decision to go as per her parents decision. She says that she always loved me and avoided my phone calls just to make me hate her and to make me move on with my life. Although i have got a loving wife but the place which i had given to my ex, i wont be able to give it to anyone. I am trying to pull on with life without my wife knowing it but it is like getting born and dying every day. Now my ex's parents are searching for a boy but for her too it will be just another compromise that she will be making. How people shatter lives of lovers in India just on the pretext that the astrological horoscopes dont match is a lifelong nightmare for lovers. Neither the children nor the parents nor the ones to whom they get married ever stay happy just because of this sick mentality of horoscope matching. Life is hell without the one whom you love so deeply, whom you have visualised and imagined in each and every moment in your coming life, in all your future times. Life is truly a hell.
Tags: example 1
So I knew him since I was in grade five, he dated my best friends' older sister for 3 years, I never thought about him romantiaclly back then, and never really thought I would. They broke up but stayed friends, they are still friends to this day.
When I was 16 my best friend and I started hanging out with her older sister her friends (him included). I didnt really think of him that way stil, until one night my friend told me he was texting her and told her that he thought I was the most beautiful girl hes ever seen, he was shy of me I guess. (But he didnt have a reason to be)I was surprised and excited and I felt awesome. I decided to go try talking to him, when I did he still acted shy around me. But he eventually let down a little of his shyness and started talking and acting more freely around me. Then one day, we were sitting in the backyard with a few of his friends, when all of a sudden they all just started dispersing, once everyone else had cleared he took my hand and asked me if I wanted to be his girlfriend. It was so cute; planned out. I said yes. He was so amazing to me in our first few months, he was my first, and he didnt push me, and I thought everything was perfect. Then we started fighting. All he wanted to do was spend time with his friends and never even thought to invite me to come. I was seeing him twice a week at most, and our sex life was faltering to say the least. We broke up a few times, off and on again and again. I was the first one to break up with him, he begged me back, cried and pleaded. He seemed like he was actually sorry, so I did. About a year later (off and on) one of his friends started seeing this girl who they met one night at the bar. She seemed alright, not goodlooking by any stretch, but she had something in her personality I guess. I was going to mexico, we were all talking about it one night and this new girl was like " so are we going to be going snowboarding while our partners are in mexico?" and he kind of brushed it off, like he didnt want me to be around while they made plans. It kinda got me going, and all the times he brought her up. Once I actually was losing my mind about it and decided to ask him if he had a thing for her. He brushed it off and said she was annoying...
A few months later she and his friend broke up.
We broke up again, like normal I thought we would get back together again, we talked, made plans and he blew me off. Then one night there was a party, I had to work that night so I couldnt attend. But my friend was there. The next morning she called me and told me that he showed up there with her. I was frantic. I went over to his house. His roommate answered the door and told me he wasnt home. I asked if I could get a few of my things, she let me in.
I went into his room and ther on the floor was her bag, a pair of nasty panties and a bunch of her shit. Oh man did I ever want to burn it, but I didnt, instead I just grabbed everything I ever gave him, and left. I went on a vacation. He texted me a few months ago, and I stupidly replied trying to be just his friend. He texts me now and then telling me how much he misses me, and was stupid. But never really saying anything. Whatever, I have an amazing boyfriend now who I have been dating for 6 months and I am happier than I ever was with him.
Tags: :/
I'll try to shorten this as best I can! We met in school, got on instantly,glued at the hip! About a year later we got together. It lasted a month, we decided we were better as friends. But we got back together again. We were together for a year and a half.I was part of his family he was part of mine.I adore his family. We went on holidays together.We had the best of times. I could always be myself completely around him. He made me laugh more than anyone. But like any relationship, there's good bits and bad bits. I broke it off for various reasons, I felt like he only came to me when he had nothing better to do. He used to hang with these guys and they would fool around in cars racing and stuff, the thoughts of him being in an accident or doing something stupid made me feel sick. Basically I felt that I was in the relationship more than he was. He was the first person I wanted to see when the weekend came but I felt like I was the last person he wanted to see. Yeah he was always working and I understood that it was difficult, we didn't see each that often but I was okay with that I guess I just wanted him to want to actually want to see me. Also whenever we were together and he got a text from one of the boys, he'd leave to meet with them. Anyway, because I can tell him anything I told him all this straight out.So we left it on good terms. We're still as close as ever, we hang out when we can catch up and things.It's like nothing could shake our friendship, there's never awkward moments. It's been six months since we broke but lately I'm beginning to miss us and what we had a lot. I know It's pointless because I had gone crazy by the end of it all and It just doesn't work with us but I can't help but I adore him and in some ways want it all back again.I swear sometimes when I look at him he does too. What has always confused me about him though was how he would do so many things that show that he cared for me and he obviously did, but then he just did things that showed he didn't care that much at all. So there you have it. The story of my life!
Tags: broke relationship, miss, him
It all started at the end of 9th grade, when I was 15 years old, he was in my french class but i never noticed him much, until he added me on facebook and there it all began! We talked for hours and hours 2 hours went to 5-6 hours, but I never dared talking to him in person, because I was to shy. After we graduated from ninth grade, we still kept in touch and we had our first date in July that summer and, already that night he asked if I wanted to be his girlfriend but I said I didn't wanted that yet, and later on after 2 weeks at our second date,i was childish and when he told me his hands were cold and i told him " I know what you're up to" and i held his hand and i told him so are we together now, and since 23-11-10 , we became a couple. We kept it a secret and everything was perfect! Then after 3 months I admitted that I wasn't that in to him from the beginning, I've realized today, that i should never do something before i give it a further thought. And he broke up with me and I tried to convince him to get back together, but he said he didn't trusted me, but we got back together. And then 3 months further he broke up again because he felt I treated him badly, like a bitch and stuff but then again I convinced to get back together and we did. I never realized my mistakes,before its to late! Then since then its been an down hill roller coaster. I did the most dumbest thing ever on our 1st year anniversary, i broke up with him, because he avoided me for a whole week and we fought. It was another mistake. A day later we talked and we got back together again, then 2 months later we fought, and his best friend told me to call my boyfriend and talk about it, but it ended badly and we broke up over the phone, and then we got back again and 2 months ahead, which is by today, we had an argument a week ago and he told me our sex is bad and he was sick of the relationship and we broke up and got back together at the same time, and now its been 5 days since he broke up with me again because I've been grumpy, and bitchy whenever he mentions something i dislike. We didn't talked for 2 days and then he texted me and we argued even more and few hours later he texted back he missed me and i missed him to ofc! And we had a stable conversation and decided to be single and figure things out, but the next day i already asked him if he had decided,what we should do and he told me ladies first, and I've been thinking of it, and I told me it would be better being single, since I've hurt him many times and I was scared and his respond, was just lot of mean,harsh,hurtful words and he said i should give him back all his presents, and that would be a sign its over. But I never handed them over, I still wear the necklace he gave me.
It has been 5 days now, and im going crazy, we have so much in-common and have this good communication with each other, we could text and talk for 12 hours or the whole day exactly, without getting sick of each other.
He has been special to me, since the first time I meet him, I wanted to get to know him, since the day we became a couple, I've changed, i know I'm only 17 now but i love him so much, he was really good to me, he was there whenever i needed him and just stood out with whatever emotion i had, and spoiled me even though i never asked him for much, and he was a gentlemen, except when we argued, he would turn into a huge jerk. Despite all that we've been through, i didn't understood him well before, after all we've been trough over a year now and 4 months, we've handled many things together, and i've supported him with everything we did, even woke up at 5 am and surprised him at the train station just coz i missed him so much <3. Its hard breaking up, i miss him and ive been crying ever since, and i cant even eat properly or even concentrate on things, he is always on my mind. It feels like I've lost him forever, but I still want to hear from him in a few days.
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