Searching for "pain"

109 Results For 'pain'

Gabor Barna

April 02, 2017 @ (Maryland)

Iâ€™m writing today to discuss how my ex broke up with me. I want to start of by saying, I have made a video. It is very lengthy, but it discusses bullying and domestic abuse in it. I show my personal relationship, and why I should have left it because of how much pain it caused in the long run. If you know anybody out there that is a victim of domestic abuse, please show them this video. https://youtu.be/cia0a-AczXs So, I met a girl online. I drove 50 miles to meet her. She had never had a boyfriend before, so I became her first. She grew up in a very abusive household. Eventually the way her dad treated me is how she would treat me verbally. I lived in the abuse because I loved her, and she would always break down and say she was sorry. Eventually things would get so bad she would split from me. Now, she does drugs, heavy drinking, and one night stands. She told me how much better her one night stand within an hour of meeting a guy, was better than I ever was. I gave her a ring the night she lost her innocence, and it hurts for her to say that. She called me derogatory names, etc. Do I love her, yes. And I know she is only following a cycle by an abusive father that has hit and choked her, but I should have left the relationship when she first started putting me down. I am a guy that has been bullied and abused a lot in life. Partly because I have dog scars on my face, and she did call me ugly and things like that for it. She was always aggressive and wanted to fight people. She beat up one grandma where she was detained for it, and almost got into a fight with her roommate at college where the roommate was put with another girl and she was left to be alone. If you know someone that loves a self destructive person, and you want them to understand they have to leave them, watch this video. https://youtu.be/cia0a-AczXs

I Fell Out Of Love (The Scariest Thing You Can Do)

March 12, 2017 @ (U.S)

Tags: So sad it\'s almost funny, sad break up, don\'t cry while reading this,

When you read this story, I am certain you're going to think I am an idiot, But I promise if you give it a read, it will all tie together.

When I was 15 (he was 14), I thought I met the love of my life. We did everything together. I grew up dating him essentially all of high school. For reference, we are in the same grade. I experience so much of my life, shared everything with him.

You could say that over the course of almost 4 years of dating, we became inseparable. The inside jokes, the traditional dates, the teasing, the flirting, we had something special. But of course, over the last year of dating, the fighting only got worse. We had also been known to have a few huge fights here or there, but in all honesty, fighting is okay. But it came to a point for me that I realized I had simply had enough, I was tired of arguing with him. I was exhausted from telling him that he shouldn't ignore me, or that he should actually want to see me more.

He never was overly affectionate towards me during the last year. It had seemed that we were two ships that could not stop one storm after the next. On our 3.5 year anniversary, he asked to take a break because he had been so tired of me. He cut off all communication with me for days. I was devastated. I couldn't think or sleep. I had never felt more crushed. However, when he came to my doorstep with flowers and an apology, I felt like he had changed.

And he did. He wanted to plan our dates, talk to me more, call me, anything. It was one of the best points of my relationship, those few months. However, it wasn't enough, because to me, something was missing. I didn't love him anymore. I can't express to you what it feels like to wake up one morning, and you see this person you've always loved, but you feel different. I had fallen out of love. When I chose to break up with him, after taking a week of a break to clear my head.

He was devastated. I had hurt him so much, and it wasn't something I could help him with. Because I did that. But I could never force myself to love someone when I did not. Over the next months, we were friends. We did not want to hate each other, or be like every other ex. So we were close friends. He had made me agree that we shouldn't date for the rest of the school year, that way it would be easier on us. So I agreed. I figured, it was the least I could do, right?

Then, I found out he had been dating a girl. The worst part, was it was a girl he spent my entire relationship telling me he hated. So I assumed she was never a threat. The pain I felt/feel is the most intense sadness I could have ever felt. It's comparable to the time he didn't know if he loved me. I didn't eat right or sleep well for almost an entire week. Nothing has hurt me more.

In fact, I am still hurt because of the recency of this, as I type this, I have been tear filled, dry throat, and head throbbing. I think what is sad, was for the first time in a long time, I was starting to feel like I had missed him, and I was going to tell him that week, but then I found out he was dating someone else. The most unfortunate about all this, is I lost not only a boyfriend in this entire process, but now I have lost a friendship. We don't talk anymore. I dearly hope that will change, because he doesn't know the magnitude of how hurt not only I feel, but the rest of his friends, because suddenly, none of us exist. What hurts is I will never stop caring about him, no matter how much I hate him for the moment, I will always care. But now I have never felt more devastated. I want to tell myself I deserve it for breaking up with him, but I wasn't happy dating anymore. Do I deserve this?

Silly Girl

March 04, 2017 @ (Taiwan)

Tags: Sad breakup, silly breakup, silly girl, unimaginable breakup

When I was 13, I meet my ex in high school. I remember in the first class, we look at each other and smile which is the moment i remember until now. Those time, when young soul are pure and kind.. When time passes. We had a crush on each other, we knewit but we never confess it.

5 years later where we both are 19, we got together, he is my first love, while im not his first love. He went into several relationship during that 5 years. We were both in a long distance relationship(LDR) as at the year 19 people start going to college in University. I stayed local to further study, while he were in the State.

When we first separated, we fully committed to maintain this uneasy relationship, because i believe in fate. For those who been in a LDR, will know that how stressful, insecure, it is. It brings a lot of stress to me. At the first 4 months it was okay, and after that he start to playing missing, like for a whole day. Dint reply my text, dint pick up my call and dint even told me that when he is awake and when he is going to sleep. The time different between us is horrible, it was me that stay up till midnight to wait for him to wake up, but ended up receiving nothing. This kind of ignorance and gone missing go on and off continuously till another 6 months.

At the 10th month of LDR, i received an odd message from him. It was some very rude words, saying that I am a bitch. And then I realized that it sent by another girl through his phone. At that moment, my heart felt apart. My heart was broken. I cried and call him to explain everything, he told me that he was actually with the girl when he is in the State. He throw all the responsibilities to me to settle all this mess. Ask me to make the decision. I was mentally and physically being tortured. Everything was in a complete mess. His cheating partner was crying and screaming while we having phone call and I am really not under a sober condition to settle this mess. And I decided to hang up the call since I cannot think comprehensively towards everything. After the night, he keep send me sorry words, saying that he din't mean it, saying that he still love me, and a lot of sentences that mentally hurt me a lot. He spam and spam and spam.. every single day and act like he is the one who got hurt. MAN!! I am the one who silently being hurt all the time, every single time! 6 days after the messy break up, his cheating partner texted me, asking me to give him another chance, and told me that he was sick, asking me to send him some warm messages. I cried every single day, i cried a lot. The pain that both of them gave me is unbearable. It's like a knife stuffed into my heart and slowly twisting.

And finally I decided to text him, because I still love him at that point, he cried and beg me, asking me to give him another chance. Because I still love him, and we are back together. Same thing happened, okay at the first month was so good. And the following months he was playing missing. Finally at the third month he wanted to break up, and he said that he is in love with someone else. And we never contacted ever since.

After the break up, I couldn't sleep well at night. I always had nightmares, felt lonely and sad. When I look into the mirror i asked "What now? Am I not good enough?" "Why does being kind people will still get hurt?". All the question i asked, but non of them gave me an answer. Those sadness and insecurities haunted me quite a long time. It started to effect my health.

And after 4 months, someone with him told me the truth, the person told me that he had a lots of girlfriend before and after he gets back with me, all those classes, working timetable and trips with friends that he told me as an excuses of can't make a video call was actually going out have fun with a lots of chicks! Truth hurt. Truth really hurt like hell. I burst into tears when I knew this. I always thought that both of us need a closure, but the pain he gave me that feelings just wont go away. After the truth, and I finally realized that he doesn't deserve my tears. It is not worth to cry for him. Love yourself first girls!

Xoxo Best wishes

Dammie

February 26, 2017 @ (Ec)

Tags: Bad breakups , sad break ups

Me and my ex , we met 5 years ago we were so in love , was the first time in my life I had boyfriend ( I was 22 y.o ) he treated me like no other ever... I was facing depression and he took me out of it ... after almost 2 years , he texted me saying he was getting enough of me and that he didn't loved me anymore wasn't the first time ,I did begged him before not to leave me anyways he did I was in a terrible depression for over 3 months I didn't almost left my house or my room I cried all the time he then texted me saying he wanted to remain friends I said yes because I still had feelings for him , he sometimes talked about a girl saying was like hypothetical situation . A month later I found out he was dating ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS , i couldn't believe it everything made sense then she never apologized he didn't told me into my face either , cried and yelled to him the pain I was experiencing became unbelievable, after a month he texted me again saying sorry and all and that he was having a really bad time with his family and needed me , at first I sent him to hell but because I'm so stupid I kept contact and tried to help him out 4 months later he was having issues with his current gf ( my ex friend) and turned still to me saying that he understood now who really loved him , to make it short we came back together I forgave him but things weren't that great since I was all the time afraid that he might cheat again he was patient but sometimes he wouldn't pick the phone and it rang as occupied very late at night . He would go freaking mad if i would quise took him about it ,he kept saying I was being crazy that he was sleeping as always I apologized all the time we went on a wonderful trip to Asia and was wonderful , after that I made some decisions of my career that he didn't liked much but accepted , he travelled a lot because of his job , I even fought him looking for prostitutes when he was in Vietnam , to which he said I was being mental because he didn't do anything and I was going through his privacy , i always caught him trying to talk to other woman and was exhausting ,he cried and everything so I decided to believe him always , so I gave up and became that kind of woman that he could yell at and say I was stupid , that kind of woman that couldn't be angry because he didn't replied in 7 hours but he could be mad at me for not doing it in 10 minutes , I was being called stupid ,asshole etc etc every time I tried to ask about something .... one day we fought so badly that we didn't talked for 1day , I felt the end coming and felt pity for myself I loved him so much but I cried every single day and couldn't do anything in any other aspect of my life , I texted him finally being so afraid telling him that he could decide our future since he last words to me were "I want to break up with you so many fucking times but I don't say it" I told him I would do what he decides ,fight one more time or end ... he asked me time to think , 2 days later or silent I asked him ,he said was hard that he loved me but he made me cry and sometimes he didn't even felt bad about it ... anyways he broke up and broke my heart for second time...
Now one month later , i get to know that he is talking to another girl , younger prettier... and even I was doing okay and slowly not crying for him . I went back to the pain of the first time we broke up , that pain in your chest that won't go , the feeling of the tears going down your face without you even noticing, because I still love him and miss him like I did almost 5 years ago

EponaSaysHai

February 22, 2017 @ (Covina, CA)

Tags: Worst break up ever

I fell in love with my best friend. He was a sweet and kind boy that loved to help people. And he loved me back. I knew he did because he treated me like I was special. He said things that no one who saw you as just a friend would say. 4 months of magical romance that everyone saw but we didn't want to admit was there. Finally one day we told each other how we felt and all our friends were so happy for us. I had never been happier in my life. We loved each other. At first it was cute puppy love, I guess you could say, but when my growing depression finally got ahead of me, we found out how much we truly loved each other. He cared for me unlike anyone I've known. The puppy love became a romance and passion that we had building up inside of us for months. We were completely in love with each other even if we both hated ourselves. We were each other's reasons for living. And I can't tell you how many times we were so close to giving up but saved each other. I'll never forget that day I wanted to kill myself and he told me that he loved me and I meant everything to him. That I changed his life for the better. That summer, 3 months after we first confessed to each other, was depressing because we missed each other dearly. School was the only time we got to see each other. Then one day I got my phone taken away. The only way I could contact him was through text. For 2 weeks I sometimes secretly went in my phone to text him. It was brief but those moments were everything to me. Then... 5 days after our 5 month anniversary, I got my phone back. I texted him happily and he replied. But he was depressed. I asked him why and he refused to tell me. I hadn't talked to him in 3 days at the time so anything could've happened. I finally got him to tell me what was wrong and he said.... "I think I'm gay..." I was in shock. And when he said he liked me as a friend, I wanted to throw my phone and just kill myself. I struggled to stay calm for his sake. If I showed how much it hurt, he would regret telling me even more. I told him I needed to be alone. I was in public, totally unprepared for any tragic news. But slowly as reality sunk in, I couldn't hold back against the tears that threatened to pour. I excused myself to the restroom where I cried so hard I couldn't breathe because I tried to stay quiet. I didn't feel anything but pain and sadness. For the next few weeks, he begged me to move on. He was extremely sad and was angry at himself for breaking my heart. He even said he wish had never said anything at all. But I would've found out one day. He wouldn't love me anymore and I would be able to tell. School started and we were friends who pretended we were fine. No one asked about our relationship. Only one person did but we ignored them. It's funny. A lot of people keep asking us if we are dating. No one asked when we actually were. He isn't the same anymore. He isn't positive anymore. He shuts down when he's sad and only talks to his therapist. He used to talk to me. I dont know what we are at the moment. Sometimes I see my boyfriend again in the way he looks at me. Sometimes I see my best friend. But sometimes I see my ex boyfriend, the broken shell of the person I once knew and loved. I still love him to this day.

If you ever hear about a break up where the boyfriend finds out he's gay and the girlfriend is sad, don't laugh. It sounds humorous, but when it becomes your reality and the thing that tears you apart everyday, you won't be laughing. In these cases, there's little to no chance of getting back together. And it hurts like hell.

Dont Wanna Say..

February 11, 2017 @ (USA)

Tags: bad break up need advice help me

my ex and i dated for about two months and we recently broke up Monday of this week (2/6/17). I experienced true love for the first time in my life. I thought of him as the most amazing person i had ever laid eyes on. Since the beginning of the relationship, we grew up a lot. We started dating when we were 15 years old. and we are now 17. I did so much for him, i paid for the majority of dates, gave him money because he would need it and i constantly prioritized him, putting him before everything. I let him come between my family and friends. He was my first, i lost my virginity to him a year ago on valentines day. he did many things that were bad in the beginning of the relationship but i managed to hang on to the relationship because he begged and pleaded for me to stay. Now i am broken. I have a 4.7 GPA , i can get into any college i want to in North Carolina, i have an amazing job making great money and a great family and an awesome bestfriend. But i can't be happy without him. I feel like i absolutely need him in my life to feel okay. I really have put my happiness on the backburner for him. For months he has been canceling plans for friends and he would sleep through our plans bc he was out super late the night before, i felt like i wasnt important and he would be really mean when i tried to talk to him about it, calling me needy and saying "why can't u just be understanding and say okay sometimes" he would yell at the top of his lungs and blame the fact that he had no nicotine and thats why he was being that way to me. He doesn't go to school anymore (so a drop out) spends every dime on his truck making me have to pay for his food and gas and dates. he never treated me right yet he broke up with me monday and blocked me on everything. i begged and pleaded for him to stay for 2 days then i went no contact on him and havent spoken since wednesday to him. i know for a fact that he loves me. i just want him back. i think i have learned a lot about myself and i have been through more pain than i can begin to describe. Will he come back to me? our connection when we were together was so strong. this boy literally has our date tattooed on his wrist and he had given me a promise ring promising me forever. help me someone please just give me advice. i need to know if you think he will come back or not. how can you spend 2 years with someone to drop them this way?

Rose

February 08, 2017 @ (INDIA)

Tags: Bad breakup

We met in college and became close due to a prank played by friends. We then became best friends in a few months. I was the first girl with whom he became really close. There were many similarities and coincidences which made us think that this was meant to be. Gradually we fell in love and confessed it. I am his first and only love till this date. We were really happy and spent our 12 days of love together dating. But then suddenly he said that he want to get out of this. There wasn't even a single valid reason he could give. I lost my best friend as well as my love without any reason. And now i am left alone sad and broken with nothing left to do. He is happy and moved on. My condition is pathetic as it already took 8 months to get over a 12 days relationship. It is strange that i still haven't moved on. It really hurts to get dumped even after doing the best you can. Losing a best friend is even more painful...

Sid

January 01, 2017 @ (india)

Tags: breakup

There was this girl who i had been best friends for 2 years and then we shared an almost two year relationship..initially it was amazing..being college kids we could go out a lot and quite regularly but she moved to another state and distance changed everything..the promises she made were lies perhaps...i am an introvert so i dint have friends at all and it was just her but she was different ,she had a huge friend circle..i wasnt comfortable with her flirting with other guys,i even told her somehow,she reacted sweetly and i felt so much at peace,but reality was different,when she came back and we were sitting in a park..i saw a text in her phone saying â€œlove u galâ€..tears rolled and i hated that being a guy i couldnt believe for a girl i cried and that too for this reason..i loved her like hell..however i couldnt be myself and became controlling and annoying and eventually she left meâ€¦i lost myselfâ€¦i lost control because i feel i gint get what i deservedâ€¦so many more serious bad things happen to a million people i know but still i thought she would never let go..cz i neva didâ€¦now its bn 8 months and i still secretly see her fb profile ..she seems happier..more lovely..and it aches deep downâ€¦a strange pain ..a heavibess in my chestâ€¦maybe everything happens for the best but i am still a lone introvert..she made fun of me and laughed it out with her friends and rubbrf it in my face..and i jus kept being broken...i wanted to move on but every once in w while she gave a cal and texted sayin she wants to be friends and misses me but cant be with me..i loved her but i dint kbow what to say..it jus stung thats all i felt..i still remember that horrible evening days before my exam and a month after she dumped me she cald me nd said she started dating a better guy than me and she changef coz it was me who was controlling...i wish i could shout amd scream..i couldnt ,my mother was in the next room...its bn 8 months and it sucks for me..i want to change but i feel less now .so small ..insignificant....

Kyra

December 03, 2016 @ (Uk)

Tags: #brokenheart

My name is kyra, I was with my boyfriend for year we broke up about a month ago. He was obsessed with me, I thought he would never leave and it cut me like a knife when he walked out of my life. I can't eat, l can't sleep, I have no ambition what so ever! My heart is physically broken, I don't know if I'm going to survive this. I can't imagine life without him forever or him being with someone else, it makes me physically sick!!! Getting out of bed is a struggle everyone morning, the pain is unbearable; the big whole in my heart keeps getting bigger. My life feels like it's over, l feel like I will never be happy and content again! Nothing can ever fix this l just want to end it all. I can't be here anymore, l can't do this, l can't survive this. Someone please help me!!

Patricia

October 25, 2016 @ (1311 willingham drive)

Tags: bad, upsetting

so me and him kinda was dating..rn im in pain im more depressed then before...so freshmen year i started liking him never talked to him till my 10th gr year which is rn im a 10th grader and he is a senior..so he talked to me thats how it started we got to know each other more and more and then we started with kissing each other hugging holding hands taking pictures together matching etc...he would write me these love letters i still got them although wen i reread them im always breaking down into tears...he asked me to homecoming we went we had a whole argument he was being mean and i was acting up bcus i started feeling depressed i didnt tell him bcus i didnt wanna ruin our special night but he even told me i did ruin it and i was sorry for being a bitch to him bcus of my depression.so we talked still we werent official even tho i had been wanting to b with him since last year..we had our first slow dance and my god i sung to him it was real special to me i was really happy..he made me real happy he made me feel special and i loved his personality and i started falling for him...i fell so hard that i considered him as my bf to my friends and me and him laughed and did lots together he would give me piggy ride backs and hickies and every time we met after every class and wallked each other to class and i appreciated him i gave him my devotion i gave him everything i had i did everything for him i did what i could to make him happy and i gave him all my support i motivated him to b a better person to do good in skool and b someone in life i believed in him.ppl kept telling me shit about him i didnt wanna believe them bcus i trusted him but all this time he was stabbing me on the bac and did hurtful shit to me it hurt me but i still stayed with him i stayed after he had hurt me i kept forgiving him time after time he kept fucking up and he promised he wasnt gunna fuc up and he did multiple times and i forgave him all the time..then he was telling me he loved me and shit and how he missed me and that he was loyal to me wen wasnt he was having me looking stupid out here wen i was defendin him and believing all his lies..