I will start off by saying my whole life I have been shy. Anytime someone hinted at me liking them, I ignored it, and denied it convincingly!
People at school called me prude. I was a "good girl" even though I just wanted what everyone else wanted! Just no way to get to it. I was called asexual.
It was in 11th grade I got close to a guy.
I was not afraid to talk to him. We talked a lot. He asked me out. I was so excited! How did he know i liked him? I said yes.
Then he changed his mind because I don't drink! Yes, it is true. But, I said I don't care if you do! No, it was late. I found out later he is bisexual.
Later 1 year I decided I have to have a guy. I went out to events like concerts and stuff to make myself available. I kept seeing this guy with long brown hair and metal t shirts. He looked so... Unique.
And he didn't go to my school.
Somehow he messaged me on myspace. I guess he saw I liked pantera. Well, talk here, talk there. I just wanted one thing but didn't want to seem too slutty. So, I gathered this was my only chance. I waited months before he told me he didn't think I was that kind of girl. A cornflake girl. That I don't have bad thoughts.
He asked me out. I was confused. I just wanted to do it, not be in a confusing relationship. Well, I thought this must be how it is. We hung out, kissed, but he told me it is ok to wait till marriage to do it. I was like what!
So we did do it quite a bit. He was fascinated that he "stole my virginity" which is kind of sick. Why do people obsess about this? I became attached to him strangely. Even though he was not charming in the slightest! Love.
Jump 1 year later at university, I met a muslim woman. She told me about Islam and it rang with my beliefs, so I became a muslim. One who worships God and only God. Who is not like anything or any one. This was after a year of meeting my muslim friend.
That news did not go ove with my bf of 2 years who is ATHEIST. We talked, we cried. We tried to work things out. There was no way he would believe in God, so he broke up with me. It was not allowed for me to be with him anyway, so it was for the best. It took awhile to get over him. Maybe few months especially after he tried pushing my buttons.
I don't know if he ever got over me. I stopped talking to him as muslim men and women are not supposed to chit chat with the opposite sex outside marriage and family. I never told anyone the reason for breaking up, just that it did not work out because I didn't tell them I was muslim yet.
But, I am married and have kids with a wonderful muslim husband for 7 years now. He is the best. He treats me like a queen.
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