Dina

July 25, 2014 @ (Lebanon)

Tags: going through a breakup


No this ain't another happy ending story .
Beautiful,smart,funny,talented,good hearted ?
when it comes to love you forget all your qualities .
You Just love the person who makes you question your own self.Like any other person, I fell in love, well don't I have the right to?
He was a family-friend, and like any charming man he was irresistible .
every thing we did based on good intentions that's for sure . Should we blame our hearts for beating faster ? or our bodies for getting nervous? or our minds for day dreaming ?
We didn't plan falling in love indeed.
But we couldn't stop our hands of reaching each other . nor our hearts of finding each other.
Well it was amazingly speechless, it was our little paradise.
We happily lived together for a long time.
we kissed, we went to parties, we got drunk , we watched each one another fall asleep.. we faced many problems but we worked it out . The perfect life of two wild teenagers.
He ditched everything for me his studies , his work and whatever , i know it sounded bad so i convinced him to return to his old life. I won the dispute but i never thought i'd lose my man.
i was never the 'drama queen' but at the moment of goodbye it was like our lives stopped for awhile , people stopped moving , everything became frozen we couldn't feel anything but ourselves.
Yea days passed and we didn't stop talking to each other including Skype and other communication apps.
We got busy so we stopped the ''talking'' gradually , well yea maybe we failed at long distances relation like many others.
Well i was too faithful thinking he'd come back again.
Then i figured it all out. He broke our dreams, our hopes, our promises , our thoughts , our hearts , MY HEART.
He cheated on me , well gratefully he wasn't the one who keeps his dirty work as a 'secret' , he was an honest one.
Yea the sun rises again letting the dark disappear ,i decided to move on and let the past get buried.
I started seeing other people , letting hope get in, and my past out.
But you know what it was never the same, not the same feelings, not the same thoughts , not the same him. Though they were much better men, but hey love isn't related to materials nor facial image.
He was still in touch with my family specially my mom , he was there when my Grandpa died and transported the news for my mom . Every time we communicate again it feels like magic , the same feelings reappeared again like it never faded.
But its never going to work again . I'd trust him again but i won't trust myself with him.
It's not about cheating, people make mistakes. But he never came back when i left him how would i trust him again, how would i let him in when everything around me says that i should get out.


       


 

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