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Perplexed

January 31, 2015 @ (Northeast US)

A few weeks ago I experienced a break-up. Except it wasn't really a break-up. The man with whom I felt I was falling in love with and whom I sincerely felt was in love with me....disappeared. I reached out to him twice within a week after his whoodini act, and have not received a response. Its as if he just evaporated. I feel like I've been imagining all the time that we spent together, all the mornings we woke up cuddling and all the amazingly passionate nights that we shared.

Where is my boyfriend????

I'm writing because I am confused and would like to share a bit of my story. I was aggressively pursued by a sensitive, attractive, fun and interesting guy. I didn't do any of the pursuing, it was all on his end. After 5 months of dating him and him telling me he wanted to spend his life with me and loved me, and took me out, and dinners, and drinks, and fun and blah blah blah....we spent New Years together and the next week he prepared this amazing "honeymoon night" in his apartment with candle and tea and incense, and everything perfect. He gave my a gift after we had sex and we cuddled and had a fun night...

We kissed in the morning and said goodbye.

I haven't heard from him since. This was a month ago. I'm totally confused and angry that I was sold on this bologna. After 5 months of dating. I don't understand. I now want to send him a message and tell him off and call him out on his lunacy, but I am stopping myself. I have so many questions. So much to say, but I don't want to give him the satisfaction of even knowing that I'm giving him one more second of my thoughts.

I seriously feel like I hate him right now. I hope he is miserable and I hope that he has the worst Valentine's Day ever. I hope he realizes what a coward he is for not breaking things off more respectfully. I feel hurt, confused, and disrespected.

I want to move on, but its hard when you don't have a real ending, and so many questions. I know I deserve more, but I was just blindsided!! I didn't even really like him that much until recently.

Moreover, I hope this experience makes me more aware in the future, and I hope I am able to grow from this. I'm happy to share my story and know that I am not alone. None of us are. There is someone better out there, but in the mean time, it is not easy.

Dimitri

January 17, 2015 @ (Canada)

Tags: Bad breakup, bad get together.

I met this girl in class in around october, by the 20th we we're talking for over 8 hours a day through texts, but would never talk in real life. eventually after giving up on this girl it was a saturday about two weeks later and into november, we somehow started asking each other silly questions at around 9:00PM. Finally she offers, "We should just play 20 questions", I agreed and we continued. The first question that came out of her was a dirty question, and I thought shit was getting a bit to far. Me and her both explained our sexual fantasies in detail, and eventually we exchanged nudes at the end of the night. Monday comes around and we're at school, lunch comes around and she texts me say "come be my pillow, i'm tired". I listen and go find her in the school, I sit down and she instantly sits down ontop of me then cradles up, basically falling asleep for an hour and a half. A few days pass by and I join a Archery Club shes in, and we flirt while shooting. At the end of the day, she tells me to come to her locker and we made out for the first time, thats when I realized shit was getting real. This repeated for a few weeks, fast forward to december, she finally sends me another nude, then for some reason the day later things seemed off, at this point she had me whipped. (wrapped around her finger). After a few days of shit being "off" I ask whats up and she says that shes no longer interested and shes sorry, but we can still be friends. So I make the retarded decision to CONTINUE talking to her for 8 hours a day, this drags on for two weeks of us being "friends". Then she says I sound depressed and that we should go for an ice cream and watch a movie at my place, so I took her for ice cream and went back to my house to, watch a movie.. But shit gets real, my hand makes it down her pants and at the end of the day I asked what just happened, and she didn't know what to say. three days later she still ignored me everytime I asked, and I said enough is enough on the friday, I said we couldn't be friends anymore. But this fucking girl had me so whipped that in three days I came back to her asking for forgiveness. Now things don't sit right, we talked for 8 hours a day again and for the past three days we haven't spoken a word or even looked at each other. I'm still deeply in love with this girl, and I'm so fucking depressed.

KAT

November 30, 2014 @ (Unknown)

Tags: Bad breakup

I knew the guy for 3 years I went to school with him but he graduated a year ahead of me. He was in the military and I hardly saw him... I only saw him twice but he would tell me all the stories about him and his chick friends! Im okay with a guy having chick friends but compared to what they were doing it was stressing me out! I got suggestive messages that were for another woman! He told me stories about girls trying to get him to have sex with them, them ending up in his hotel room naked, One wanting him to sleep in her room and then getting a boob job after I had him stop staying in her room...It was stressing me out and I don't know why! The distance was also killing me So i had to break it off with him.. I told him how i felt and the fact I couldn't handle it any more. we agreed to be friends but he sent me good morning texts and we talked one last time he was trying to understand my reasons... I cried for a long time and had trouble eating... found out he was harming himself too

Hurt

November 14, 2014 @ (Houston)

Tags: #confused #confused

we never really dated i guess you could say. he said we did but ever exactly made it official. i like him a lot to the point where i get so jealous when hes around another girl. No im not a jealous freak but i could at least have some respect when i tell him that i don't like that. anyways, not the xcase. We never had a freind ship to start with but it never was a ok your cute i like you no we talked i fell. and they did warn m,e he was a player. but did i happen to listen? nope, i ignored it and as he told me "they just cant stand to see us together." Well turns out he had a girl he was always kissing holding hands and hugging and callin her beautiful and sexy and babe and baby. (we known each other for a year or so vbut never really kissed just held hands and a hug and flirt) i didnt find this pout till today anyways planning to end this "relationship" monday. itz sunday btw so goodbye for now at leasty

Jelly

November 12, 2014 @ (Melbourne)

Tags: What

Hi I am gonna break up soon. It is just about on its way. I could not say this guy is my boyfriend because we never in any kind of relationship. We are not girlfriend and boyfriend. We are not in an open relationship. We are not in partnership. Do you think we could call it non string sex relationship ? But we are for beyond this. I would not go for non string sex relationship with someone for more than 3 years. Will you? We love each other we have to break up because too many issues : age difference culture parents ...Honestly speaking he could not make me satisfied at all. Oh well what the hell... I have been thinking sex life does not really matter and I do enjoy the period of time he make my mind in peace. I think I should say thanks to him for giving me more that 3 years peaceful time. He does not wanna listen to his parents to get married as he said. Well also as he said he was not into marriage and kids. It seems like that we are really in common on these views. Anyway he said he could not leave his parents so I am the one he is gonna to leave. Mom's boy right? If I knew it He was mom's boy from the beginning I would not go further breaking up now. Ehem nothing to be regreted anyway I love him I have been loving him and I am still in love him It sounds very stupid for sure. However I am the one who believes still there must be Sth forever oh my god stupid again Anyway that is my story. By the way we are meeting up tonight. Sry guys my break up story to be continued ...

Anonymous

November 10, 2014 @ (Canada)

Tags: painful

My history start when i left my back home to came and study in Canada. That was the first time when i was about to start living on my own. I didn't have any acquaintances in this unknown country. Luckily when i cam here i got a guy from the same nationality of mine who has been here for a very long time and was very helpful. He was a married guy yet he was so very helpful and all i was thinking was that his wife was aware that he was helping a girl who just moved in this country. Gradually we became friend and he did a lot for me but innocent as i was i never realized that behind this help of his was a different mind. he came to narrate to me how his wife and how their relationship doesn't work though living under the same roof and in doing he gain my pity and he gradually manipulated me in such a way that he made me felt in love with him and gradually forced me for sex when i mentioned to him no i want to loose my virginity for the one i get married. While being in this relationship he mentioned about his exes and he mentioned about one who still keep in touch as friend. I was like friend okay that's fine but each time he was taking me out or something he was always texting but i never realized that he would be texting her that much. he even took me to buy gifts and out of the blue he got her a gift as well and told me as a friend i was like okay when one day lying next to me i saw a text with the girl saying i love you and i miss you and i asked what was that and he said she still says so what can i do. After that his behaviour changed with me, he stopped texting or calling me and this was bothering so much that i had to ask what was happening and on the day of my exam he told we can't continue. i broke up and was so depressed but its after only that i came to know the reason was that he went back to her. After a couple of months he came back to me saying sorry and we started talking and my mistake was that i forgave him and accepted him again and after couple months he did the same thing he went back to her. I really cannot move on it been dragging for so long that i have been trying to move and thought we don't have anything to do together i keep sending him text each time he is online i tell me he is texting her or if his car isn't here i will say you meeting her and i kept asking why you did this and that and i can't stop monitoring him. i am fed up with my life.

Anonymous

November 04, 2014 @ (New York)

Tags: #ehh #hurts

I've been dating this girl who is of a different race. We've dated for 1 year but we still stayed together until about a month ago. She cheated on me as soon as we dated and I didn't find out til 4 months later when she told me that we didn't seem like we'd stick. I stayed with her but after 7 months, I cheated on her and tried to be with this other girl. It failed and when I apologized to my gf, we had our first time of sexual intercourse. She'd always be obsessed about us having mixed babies. About a month ago, I tried to hang out with her but I couldn't. We didn't talk for 2 days and I found out she has a bf and that he already has sex with her. I hung out with her and she was rubbing me and trying to be close with me but I told her to back off. We still talk about us even tho she has a bf

Anonymous

November 01, 2014 @ (Hong kong)

Tags: Heartbroken

Back in 2012, a new guy came to my school. Every girl was obsessed with him and thought that he was handsome and all, including me. That guy was also the one who made me fall in love with him. But not only me, but together with 3-4 other girls at the same time. On September 28th, we were having a party because of a girl's bday. That guy was there as well, and it came out that the guy actually liked the girl who was having her bday there. Me (and all the others) saw them kissing and all.. I started to cry in front of everyone because I just couldn't handle it..
After a few months I finally got over him. Until November 2013, he told me that he already liked me since September 2013, but the matter was : he was still with that girl. They were sexually active and all. I didn't accepted him or something but I still kept talking to him, because deep in my heart I still liked him.
March 2014, we were together since now. In this time I learned that he has a really bad temper and gets mad at the smallest things. I had mood swings for 4-5 months when I was with him.
In July 2014, I went to a foreign country for the whole summer. He freaked out and kept on blaming me for leaving, he kept telling me that we would break up, and scolded at me with a lot of foul language.
I felt so miserable and didn't know what to do.
At the last week of my holiday I decided to break up with him, cause he treated me just like rubbish. When he heard that we were going to break up, he freaked out even worse than before, he threatened me that he would kill himself, and stuff like that.
When I was back, he was at the airport with a huge board, all about our stories and the happy things we've been through and all the little things that I thought he was supposed to forget.
We went back together again, but yesterday I discovered that he haD token nude pics of himself and his ex, when they were still in a relationship. That broke me, because he never had told me anything about his ex. I felt like I was just being lied to, these 8 months. He just said that the past is in the past, and things like this. He doesn't understand my feelings at all. He still keeps his exes diys and pictures on his laptop, thinking that I didn't know. At the beginning, he made me feel so special that I thought that we would never break up and stuff, now I'm just crying and crying and crying.
I told him that I want one week to think about what I should do and that I need to analyse everything. He begged me to not break up with him again because he told me that I'm his "everything" and all.
I'm just broken by the fact that he didn't told me these things. Every time I hear these things, it's never from him, it's always one of my friends who tell me this. I feel so fucked up right now and feel like I've been lied on for these 8 months.

Gu

October 22, 2014 @ (China)

Tags: Bad breakup, love is about letting go

I consider her the most important girl in my life. Let me tell you why.

Before I dated her, I had three previous relationships.

The first I consider a puppy love; the second I stole her virginity and cheated on her; the third I thought I love her much, but objectively speaking it was too sexual. In between I was also very flirtatious. I love to fool around and usually grow an immediate attraction to those girls who are willing to talk about sex, aka sluts. I was very into sex.

After I got hurt from my last breakup, I told myself I would never believe in love again. So I decided I could just turn back into the old me and flirt around. Eventually, I also slept with someone who wasn't my girlfriend. I also allowed myself to engage in cyber sex with a girl who had a bf back then.

None of this was known about me by the public. I hide it pretty well. I live with a double face life.

All of this ended after I fell in love with this special girl. It was a love at first sight. We had been close friends, maybe even best friends more like 7 to 9 months back then. I just suddenly realize how much care she actually giving me, and how I am actually really attracted to this kind of good girl. So I started showing her my love and fortunately she also loves me. Falling in love with your best friend is just beautiful. (this is coming from a guy)

She is just a pure girl. Someone with good moral values, who can really lead you to the right path. She is also very traditional. So we agree we would have no sex until we are fortunate enough to get married. And since then, for 20 months, we simply make out and have no sex. If you ask the old me, I guess I would have been shocked to know I can live without having sex with my gf. (I rmb I was literally angry when my second gf didn't agree to have sex with me back then; and then I also was very sexually involved with the next gf; and of course that time that I allowed myself to engage in casual sex)

But of course, its more than that. I just realize this kind of life, where I follow good value, be a good guy, no double life is what I truly want. In a sense I realize I had destroyed my integrity with what I did before. All this was only made possible because of her being with me, her loving me.

At the beginning, it turned out she actually knew some of my past. And she said if I am not the same anymore, she is willing to give me a chance. I felt really touched by that. I think that is what being loved feels like: knowing you are a sinner but somehow a great girl still willing to give you another chance to be a better man. I told myself I won't let this girl down ever again.

I hope it's obvious now how special she is to me. In a sense, she was there with me at the right time. Being here with me when I sinned, when learnt from my past and mature enough to know what is right for myself and what is not.

Unfortunately, we didn't last.

The problem was that she somehow dug my old stuff out. My old chat history with my previous girlfriends or sluts that I flirted with. And because of some reason, I also had to tell her about my causal relationship (terribly so, the girl is someone she knows)

It just all started to crumble for her.

As she read those words, she got more and more disappointed at me. She is very upset and hurt for what I did. This might have sth to do with her possible bipolar disorder and family issues that has made her highly insecure. And I am her first bf too. There is a lot going on her mind: insecurity, sharing her guy with many girls, not able to trust my words anymore and so on. So she kept asking for breakups. I tried to save our relationship millions of times already. But her hatred against me and her pain just grew. So finally I agree to try and separate from her...

It's so difficult for me. It's just the first day of not talking to her today. And obviously I am dying. But once I recall what I did, and think about her hurt she is because of me, I know I am making the right decision this time to give her the same she deems.

It's time for me to brave and take care of her. (She has always been the "strong" person in our relationship more often than me) She deserves to be happy. Maybe we can get back together if she can be mature enough to let go of my past. Or maybe can't. Either way I hope she can really be happy. Because I am indeed very happy with her.

She changed me for the better. I am forever indebted to her. I also wouldn't go back to those dark alleys like I once did.

I am changed, forever, because of her. And I am hoping to show her how special and how much I love her, by letting her go...

Janessa

July 28, 2014 @ (Melbourne)

Tags: confused

We've been dating since last July, and he's as sweet as can be.. at first. But eventually a man shows his true colors and stops doing everything he did to get you. Regardless, our relationship pretty much was just about sex to him. Which is probly why im 5 months pregnant. You would think that someone who's about to be a father would grow up and mature some to prepare himself.. nope. Hes 22 still lives with his parents and doesn't even have a license. What a joke. Well yesterday was our baby shower, and he acted soo stupid the whole time. He wasnt even with me the whole day. He wouldn't even take a picture with me cause his brother was there; and we were still together. Afterwards he left with his brother and came back home at 10 pm. He didnt even open gifts with me, just went straight to sleep. Well that caused a huge argument and now he talks about me blaming him for everything so he left and said he was walking home, all the way to palm bay.. I told Jim to jusy break up with me if hea not happy. Some how I think he only stays for the baby's sake, and I dont want that.