Tags: break up
lets call him alex. he asked me to be his girlfriend on september 25, 2009. he was sweet, caring, funny, i loved him with all my soul and he would always tell me that he loves me that i was his only one. he would tell me that he wanted to marry me and have children with me someday. he was my happiness, my everything. we went out on the weekends and sometimes on weekdays. since the moment i met his family we got along so well. on january 2010 he was acting sort of distant with me. i wondered what i did wrong. then the last week of that month we were talking on the phone and he told me that he needed a break. that he was stressed out cause of school and football. i cried, i was broken. the next day he texted me and told me that he had actually cheated on me, i didnt believe him. so i talked to a mutual friend we both have and he told me that alex was lying to me that he just told me that he cheated on me so that i can forget bout him. so i acted like i didnt know this with alex. then that same week he had injured his ankle and i went to see him. i knew we had to fix things and i was afraid it was gonna be our last goodbye. but i was wrong. when i got there i saw him sitting on his bed and he told me to sit down next to him. i couldnt look at him so i just stared at his ankle and i had tears in my eyes and he told me he was sorry for what he "did." he touched my arm and i pulled away. i moved a little bit afar from where he was sitting and he moved closer and i wouldnt let him touch me. he then grabbed me and pulled me close to him and he started crying. then i cried. it was so emotional and i knew it wasnt the end. eventually we ended up getting back together and i was happy again. throughout the relationship we often talked about sex and i would tell him how i wanted to wait until marriage. he said he would wait for me. he said he was a virgin too then on february 8 he came over to my house and he said "u know we're gonna be together forever so why not get it over with?" so i gave in. worst mistake ever. we lost our virginity to each other. he then told me that he lied to me bout cheating and that he would never ever do that to me. from there our relationship went back to normal he was so sweet and caring. then came April and things were getting suspicious. the day after my birthday i found out trough my brothers phone that alex liked this other girl lets call her gina. i was broken. that weekend we got into an argument and he said that i still loved my ex he was putting words into my mouth that werent true. i made him tell me who this gina girl was and he ended up telling me that its the girl he likes and that he was confused bout both of us, and that the day of my birthday he had seen her and kissed her. so he said he cheated. i cried that whole day and then that week i went to see him and we acted like nothing happened we later planned our last day together, a week later he came to my house and spent one last day of our relationship with me. he told me then that he wasnt gonna get with gina and that our thing was just a break till he stopped being confused. i believed him, so i left it at that. a week later i find out that he got with her and i was depressed. 2 days after that i did a stupid thing. i got drunk and ended up intoxicated in the hospital. i had more than 100% alcohol in my body and if it wasnt for the paramedics i wouldn't be here telling my story. and i blamed him for what i did. after that i only saw him two times and eventually he cheated on gina with me. one day he told me he wanted to get back with me and that we can keep it low-key. i didnt accept that offer. so forward to November of 2010. gina requested me on FB and we talked. she said they were having problems and idk what. i ended up telling her that he cheated on her with me. she told me that they both lost it to each other and i was like WTF i ended up telling her that it wasnt true cause i lost it to him and well thats when she realized that he is a player and a lier. he would deny the fact that he did it with me but watever we both know he lied. so i'll leave it at that. i loved him so much and i never thought this would happen. its hard for me to trust any guy again. i wish i never met him but then again i dont regret all those amazing moments i shared with him. i still keep his gifts and letters and his shirt. i miss him and i still love him but im willing to move on.
Tags: November 9/11
My ex-boyfriend and I where together for 2 1/2 yrs. Everything was great! We we're together all the time, except when we went to work. And still on breaks conversated. Great connection, conversation, companionship, we understood one another. Everyone told us how great we we're as a couple and could see our chemistry. Our loved continued to grow throughout the relationship. We we're bestfriends, soulmates and lover, everything you could ever image and fantasy about having in a relationship.
Last week we broke off. I believe that he's blowing the situation way out of proportion. Here's what happened: He was hanging out with he's friend and than called to see if it would be alright if his friend came over. Everything was cool. He told me he wanted to be closer to me. They arrived, I gave them some space. Their drinking and having a good time hanging out in the back yard, then they came in and It sounds like my guy is being a bully towards his friend, and a fight is about to pop off. So, I ended up going down stairs and his friend looks so sick, like he's dying. So, I bypass my boyfriend and asked his friend if he wants me to gave him a ride home, and I try to joke around and tell him a story that my guy did to me when we had a couple of drinks. Any way from there we had a little argurment. He left with his friend and came back and packed all of his stuff up. I told him he's blowing the whole thing way out of proportion.
I've apologized so much and even to he's friend, he's forgiven me, but he says that I've betrayed our relationship and put a pink elephant in room, when there shouldn't be one. He say he trust me because I never cheated or have done anything else. But he doesn't trust that I have the best judgement for what the relationship should be.
At this time frame he just wants to be friends and told me that I hurt him. I didn't knowly want to do that. I know he loves me the way that I love him. But it's hard to be just friends, when you want so much more. We still talk approx. 5hrs a day, but he chooses not to see me at this time frame. Somedays, I end up crying to him and he tells me that I shouldn't have done what I did. That make me feel even worst. Because I realize the error of my ways and I've lost my bestfriend. The situation is messed up.
A week prior to this arguement was my birthday and he surprized me with a ring and put it on one finger and than surprized me with another for the other hand. I know he's hurt and I'm hurt too. Just don't know what to do.
Tags: Jail bait
My then boyfriend and I had been seriously together for almost 3 years. Everything was just fine. We were planning on moving in together, planning our 3 year anniversary trip to Miami and even, possibly, when the time was right we shared the similar ideas of marriage and starting a family. I basically lived my life for this person. We saw each other every day without fail because we live close together.
Until that fateful day when I received a phone call from him...He calls to tell me the he is in jail and needs $1500 bail money. I tell him that I don't have the kind of money and that he should contact his parents as a last resort. Meanwhile my mind is going crazy & I'm thinking to myself what he could have possibly done to land himself into this kind of predicament.
An hour later his dad gives me call and we both deicide to go to the jail and bail him out. One the way there we talk about all the possibilities of why he could be there. The only thing that could plausibly come across my mind was unpaid tickets in relations to his car. Well we get to jail and since there is only one person allowed in to bail him out, his dad goes in to retrieve him. Mind you we had gotten there at 7 p.m. and didn’t leave until 1 a.m.
When my then boyfriend decides to get into the car he tells me that he would rather talk to me one on one rather than his dad being around. This made me even more upset. I had waited several hours already and now he has the nerve to make me wait even more for an explanation!
So when we finally get to our destination he gives me this bogus story about how he had a relationship with a girl who had lied about her age, before I even came into existence and that she had been stalking him etc. etc. So he lied and said it was basically a case of fatal attraction.
The next day I think to myself “Why the hell would the cops go and pick him up, at his job!, on things that happened years ago?”
So I call his dad, because things just weren’t adding up and he tells me the dreadful news that this incident happened in September of this year! Keep in mind it was the last week of October I find out this news. Adding insult to injury he lied about the whole fatal attraction scenario!!
In actuality, my then boyfriend, who is 22, went on facebook, started communicating and sexting with a girl who he claimed told him she was 17 but she’s really 15. He told me he didn’t even have a facebook when he had one the whole entire relationship. They met up on what he says on one occasion in the parking lot of her school. There this 15 year old girl performs oral sex on him. Somehow, someway her parents find out about this and her dad is a cop. So now he’s is in a lot of trouble and must go to court for Lord knows how long it takes to settle his situation.
So now his face, name, and address is plastered all over the internet for anyone who looks his name up to see. That he sought out sexual relations with an underage girl and got caught!
There were warning signs that we would argue about consistently.
1. He was so defensive about his phone; he always hid it, and would go to the extremes to cover his tracks.
2. Every time he went on the internet he would delete the browsing history.
3. He wanted to get into shape and eat healthy all of a sudden, which was around the time he started talking to this girl.
WOW!! He is a pathological liar and continued to lie to me to keep me!! He didn’t even want me to go to his court date! Had I not found out the truth from his dad! He would have continued to lie to me!
I am a complete mess right now. I’m going through midterms and working. Things have just been absolutely rough! I have even contemplating taking him back. But I know that it is not an option! Even though I’m hurting for the moment, I need to move on with my life and let time be the best remedy.
Tags: Break up
We started talking after I got out of a really bad relationship. I had some work done to my vehicle so I could make a trip a few hours away to see friends I had been kept from during what seemed like the worst relationship ever. The guy working on my vehicle passed me his number and I was willing to get over my ex so bad that I took the chance with this one. Before we hooked up, I did my research and found out he was engaged. Though I didn't confront him immediately, I had planned to when we decided to see each other outside of his work. I met him at the place he was staying for some sexual tension release after a week of txting. That's when I confronted him about his fiancée. He told me that she hadn't been showing any interest in him and although I felt wrong for agreeing to have sex with him while he was engaged, I took pity. Before we had sex I asked "are you sure you want to do this?" And he said yes. After that, a week later or so he broke up with her and we started dating....
I should have know... it was wrong. They were high school sweethearts and I felt like I was a monster for stopping a love like that but I fell in love with him. I was more than a fool. I was the worst person in the world.
One night after he got out of work, I went over to his house. And broke up with him. This on and off relationship of three months of him going back and forth from me to her was pathetic. I told him me should go back to her.. and that it was stupid for him to be apart from her. They belonged.
I haven't gotten over him. I still love him with all of my heart. But I'm hoping I did the right thing. Even if it cost me my mind and my heart.
Tags: indecisive, indecision, flip flop, back and forth
It is apparently over. It feels that way. I have not been able to say the words to her though I think my heart feels it is.
It isn't that I don't love her, its that I am so unsure of what I want for my life that my instincts (or my goddamn brain) won't let me find clarity. Maybe that means I don't love her...I dunno. Or maybe I don't need clarity and I'm just ignoring my instincts which say that this relationship can not work considering the re-evaluation I am undertaking.
I haven't been able to wholeheartedly agree on the direction she would like life to go in...it mostly the children issue. But its not because I'm so against it or worried she isn't good enough to build a life with. I just haven't found a way to say yes or no, to reconcile what I want with what she does so maybe the indecisiveness is my answer.
Even if it means that I change my mind a year from now, I think the answer is "no I can't be what you need and deserve right now." If that's the case and she has a clearer plan for her life, I should let her go so she can find it with someone else. It may be the worst decision of my life and I may regret it but I just can't see a way to put love, attention and energy into this relationship AND try to figure my own shit out.
Part of me feels plain dumb for not having figured myself out at 33, but part of me also doubts that every married with kids person really gave it all as much thought and followed their instincts either. It feels so odd to not inherently agree with the way society goes about relationships, marriage, kids and just maturing in general. Everyone feels like they are on auto-pilot with their life choices. Maybe I'm just trying to make myself feel better about my indecision.
I think in many ways my spirit is flawed, broken...but not irreparable. I will take the time to ask my heart what it really wants and I will keep asking until it responds....because it will. It wants me to be happy and maybe it doesn't even yet know what it wants but when it does, I will fight for it with all I can. I only have one known chance at living. I've got to try and live as best I can. I hate that I don't know that she could represent living life the best way I can, but if we are done and it was a mistake, it just feels like a mistake I have to make, otherwise I am doomed to create the same indecision and same mistakes time and time again.
Tags: Example i
It's not really a break up, Im just in desperate need for advice. It all started October last year. I was staying at one of my mums friends houses and her son and I only knew eachother because of our parents work together. He is 17 and a highschool dropout. I'm 15 and still currently doing my studies. That night he went out with a couple of mates. For some peculiar reason I asked him to wake me when he got home. When he did he woke me and we spooned on his bed talking about whatever came to mind. He was so sweet, a side I've never seen from him before. After that experience we never really spoke again. Until about a week ago when I foundmyself in the same position. This time it got sexual. Only he was to big for me, so we didn't end up having sex. He was the first person id engaged with in doing stuff like that. I wasn't his first though. It was kinda strange. I felt so comfortable around him, I could be myself and not be self conscious like I normally am around others, and all my previous boyfriends. After that night we didn't speak again until two nights ago. I layer with him and drew circles on his leg, it was tickling him, and he was so cute. Just before we fell asleep he grabbed my hand and placed it on his crouch. After that he didnt speak to me ever again. I think I've fallen for him, but I can't help to think that he is just in it for the fun and the sexual side of things. I don't think he admires me as a person.he only admires what I can do with my hands. But his the type of person that if he did have feelings for me, he'd never let me know. His quite a big build. But I really want him to know that I love him for who he is, not what he looks like , or what he has achieved. I love him for him. As simple as it gets. His friends are complete drop kicks. And he values what they think. I have a feeling that's why his holding back. I don't know what to do, and advice would be great?! Thanks xo
Tags: Example 1
My boyfriend and I have been dating for 6 months. There is a fair age difference between us. His 26 and I'm 14 I've known him since I was about 8. I love him more then anything. And he loves me the exact same way. The age difference has always worried us. Everything was going perfectly. But then we had an argument over a phone bill, which he had made after calling my mobile off his parents house phone. I hated it when he spent money on me. Even the slightest bit. He continued to tell me how he was going to pay for it himself. Our relationship was something that no one knew about. And we planned on keeping it that way. It was long distance, but it was a sacrifice we both made. During the argument about the phone bill, he tells me how his mother found out exactly how old I am,after talking to a friend of hers from my home town. He tells me how she refuses to have him live under her roof. at this point I start to cry. Because I knew the outcome. He texted me saying how bad he felt about it, and how he felt like he had broken my heart ( that he did) but he wad going to have to think the situation through, and put our relationship on hold.I didn't reply to that message. And writing this two hours later, I don't plan to. It scares me, because his suffered depression and Suicide has been an outstanding option for him, his always told me that if he ever had to live without me he would kill himself. Lying in bed, I've deleted all his messages, and his number. The only thing stopping us is other people's opinions. I'm worried, and I miss him. I live in a small town, so it wil probably make it's way around anyways.. I really don't know what to do. His so protective, and he hates it when I talk to other boys. Even if it is just a polite conversation. The fact that my bestfriend was a boy means that I've lost him too. At the moment my phones turned off. And I'm just going to stay in bed. Just pray that he makes the right decision.
Tags: example1
I started seeing this boy back in April. On our first date he told me he was bipolar. I asked him if he was taking medication for it, and he said no. This, of course, worried me, but I was understanding and empathetic. I continued to talk to him, and we realized that we had many things in common. The more we talked, the more I started to like him. On the third date, he told me that he has been dealing with self-injury for the past six years. I was a little shocked that he would share something so personal to someone he just met, but I took it as a sign that he trusted me enough to tell me these things. He also told me that he didn't think he was in a place to be in a relationship at that moment in his life. I understood. After that date, he continued to text me everyday and we continued to see each other about twice a week. Things progressed very quickly and became very intense. A few weeks later, he told me that he had been diagnosed with boderline personality disorder, and that he also had an eating disorder (which I was starting to suspect). I asked him if he was getting help for any of these things, and he said no. I asked him what I could do to help him, and he said nothing. This was all becoming too much for me, but I had started to develop deep feelings for him, and didn't want to abandon him. I was starting to fall in love with him, and I trusted him enough to have sex with him (he was my first). We talked about us and our relationship, and he was still firm that he didn't want or need a relationship. At that point, however, I felt like we were in one, and was very hurt with his decision not to move forward. We broke up soon after that. At the time I thought we were breaking up because we both wanted different things. I wanted to move forward and start a relationship with him, and he did not.
One week (yes, ONE WEEK) after we broke up, he removed me as a friend on facebook and changed his facebook profile picture to him and this girl. A mutual friend told me that he was "in a relationship' with this new girl. After trying to contact him to figure out what the hell was going on, he simply stated that I was not what he needed.
This whole situation has taught me alot about mental illness and what it means to be romantically involved with someone who has one (or many). If someone tells you they have borderline personality disorder and are not in therapy or seeking any sort of help for it, RUN. If you stay, you will only end up getting hurt. Because they will leave you and replace you in a second.
Tags: exm1
My story is a little bit crazy but i've basically been dating a guy for 2 years now and ever since we started he has been very obsessive and controlling. He would make me text him telling him where i was going and when i got there. Also, he would get upset if i went to the mall or if i dressed up pretty when he was not around. At the beginning i thought that i could some how shape him and make him more condifent of what i felt for him and that eventually he would change. I don't know what to do we currently broke up because i started my graduate program and he got upset because of how i dressed because he says it too nice. He even went to my school to see if i talked to any guys. Another thing he goes to the gym everyday but he says i cant go because there are guys. This relationship i believe is very sickning,
Tags: heartbreak
My bf Adam and I have were together for bout a year. Just under a year. Adam was an amazing basketball player and loved the game. Around February of our senior yr he found out he got into Duke university. Since I've known him all he would talk about was how he wanted to go explore and experience new things. But somehow his mind had changed since he had been with me and said he wasn't gonna go there. He said he was gonna go to school in CA so he could be close to me. And it wasn't like he was go to a UC or CalState he was gonna go to community college like me. And this caused so much tension with us cuz I wasn't going to let him ruin his life over me an I told him I was transferring to Tennessee state soon so we would be driving distance away but he didn't believe me.
I didn't know what to do. His dad who I have only met maybe twice cuz they don't get along calls me and tells me to break up with him cuz its the only way he would leave And he was being a jerk bout it. I Don't wantbto do hthat but I loved Adam so much I was willing to let him go if it meant he would have a better future. I broke up with Adam couple weeks before our anniversary and I tried explaining why but he wouldn't hear me out. He has never said anything hurtful or malicious to me but after I broken up with him he told me to never talk to him again. I called every day yo tell him how sorry I was and I love him. H never responded.
That happened in 2010. To this day he hasn't talked to me since I broke up with him. And it breaks my heart. Last I heard he didn't go to Duke. Hes going to calstate long beach. 15 mins away from me. His dad isbto blame for this and I resent him getting involved. I was willing to make a long distance relationship work And now I lost Adam. I pray everyday That's he'll give me another chance. That's why he's in CA isbso he could he close to me and I believe we have a chance.
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