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CDJ

June 02, 2016 @ (England)

Tags: #badbreakup #lessonslearned


We were together 18 months. In the final months she said she worried I wasn’t earning enough and doubted our ‘compatibility’ with contradictory reasons, yet would reject my suggestions to break-up (I always had to be the one to bring it up). When we eventually did it was hard, but I couldn’t take the uncertainty.

Afterwards it felt like we hadn’t broken up, talking as normal. She told me she still loved me and was upset. Her birthday was coming up and she was working nights that weekend, so I thought I would deliver her presents/belongings on one of the nights. But she wanted to see me, and said she’d been struggling after the break-up, so I agreed to come after Monday lunchtime following her final night shift.

When I arrived she came out her bedroom naked, claiming we hadn’t confirmed I was coming round (she sent an odd text that morning asking what I was up to that day, to which I replied to confirm/remind, and tried to ring four times). She grabbed a dressing gown and opened her presents. I sensed awkwardness and then it clicked; there was a guy in her bed.

I felt sick and humiliated. She said he was a locum she’d met at work over the weekend, it hadn’t meant anything, etc. I said I wanted answers/closure to move on (this upset her, yet I’d found her moving on!). She even blamed me for turning up. The next day she became remorseful and wanted to talk in person, but I wanted immediate answers – it had been an unnecessary and horrible thing to do.

A week later she called me and I apologised for how I’d reacted, even though I’d suffered a trauma! She wouldn’t discuss what happened, distressed at the slightest mention. She’d flipped the situation and gone back to claiming I was in the wrong. At the end we agreed we would meet to exchange stuff. That was the last time we spoke; 8 weeks later she just ignored me and mailed my stuff without any words.

The lesson here is that there is no such thing as a good break-up. I thought I was having one, and then she had other ideas. So, when you break-up with someone, do just that – cut contact and stay away. And speak to people (friends, parents, counsellor, etc.) – they will stop you from making things worse.


       

D

April 22, 2016 @ (Eire)

Tags: bad


Our relationship was great, people where jealous of us, we where a couple that would make you sick to watch us together.But after going away for three months with collage getting messages from their class mates saying that they are cheating and still believing they wouldn't lie. That's what happen's when you put someone before your better judgement. You feel soft like anything could hurt you. But you'll forgive them or refuse to believe that they are like that and people are just jealous. When we got back they seemed more and more bored, always asking for vacations knowing that I couldn't afford them. In essence it was time for goodbyes but not in the honest way. The plan of action was to use the group of friends we had around us, first it started with their friends telling me no they would never do that and so on. This made me more suspicious and after awhile I lay awake beside them crying wondering if they'd lie. They'd go away with newly made friends and when u ask to meet them, they'd say i've got my friend you have yours. Even though they knew all of my friends. After awhile I was drinking a lot my friend was also going out with their best friend. So I asked did he know of anything "no" being the answer I was still unsatisfied but at this stage I knew they'd do anything to keep the truth, from all the promises and I did'nt ur paranoid you smoke too much!! Well in the end I broke it off because I was torturing them for the truth on a daily basis losing my mind attacking friends questioning everything and everyone I loved. Which made telling the truth harder for them. In the end they waited till I was drunk got me to cheat with one their friends and then watch as my ex left, we met once before they had gone, admitted to having done stuff too but not what with who or where as much as I begged, I suspected my best friends became angry and bitter, from a really outgoing person to just depressing to look at. I'm still on my own too proud to talk to friends. They come back every year to my town and I see them together with the group of friends I miss. One of my friends told me they knew after it happened and said everyone knew to absolve himself of the difficult position his gf put him in. To me that excuse is for pussies bro's before hoe's and all! Hoping for some light? BE CAREFUL WHO YOU LOVE!!!
D


       

Estf VLM

March 22, 2016 @ (200 Davisville ave)

Tags: Difficult break up..



I decided to write about how is my recently break up going. I know many of you are having the same situation as me, therefore I will explain how is my situation so you can understand me.

A year ago, 2015, I started dating a guy from a different culture, religion, way of thinking and more. We connected really well, at first it was like wonderland everyday, we talked for hours, went out, laughed, and more.. It felt like a real relationship full of confidence, truth, and more of it we respected each other. We did so many things together, I even started to learn his language, I changed so many things for him, The first 7 moths together were so perfect, I never though that he will change from one day to another.. He stated changing day by day, sometimes i felt like he was so bored to be with me, but other times i felt like he was so happy, I was so confused, even tho i never told him what i felt, he sometimes noticed i guess but never said a word. There were some days he came to me saying he wants to try a night with another girl, i swear he stabbed me every time he said that, but i couldn’t do anything, all i did was laugh like it wasn’t a big deal but it was. I hide so many times how i really felt because i didn’t want him to worry or something. I remember even he told me he could thrown me if I do something wrong, and many times he told me that his friends will always come first than me, I mean I was his girlfriend right?, why would he say stuff like that.. It was just too much but i never payed attention because I did not want to lose him, and I did anyways.

Anyways, a week before he broke up with me, he was acting so weird, I knew there was something but like always I didn’t pay attention. Indeed there was something, on a Tuesday, Jan 12, 2016, at 8pm he came to me and said he wanted to talk to me about something, there.. I knew he wanted to break up, my world just fall apart when he said it, he gave me some crazy reasons and I just played along. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.. Well after that, 3 days after I went to a party, and I remember i got so drunk, all because I found out he was already talking to another girl. IT BROKE ME…

A week after, he came again to me but not as he wanted to go back, he just wanted to make sure of some stuff, but neither of us could help it so we kissed, everything came back to HAPPINESS, only it was NOT.! He said I can’t control myself around you but I want to still being like this, only not as a relationship, I first said alright let’s try, but to be honest it wasn’t enough for me, he was like that with me but also playing with another girl, so i tried to stopped it and until now i couldn’t. I am still in the same situation, i feel like a stupid sometimes, thinking that he would change, but no, it is worse. he still is playing with that other girl, and I am still hurting.

I will never regret any of this, the only thing i regret is how blind I am.


       

Enoth

January 28, 2016 @ (Dubai)

Tags: LDR


It was a long distance relationship that lasted for three years. I was too excited about meeting her in April for the first time after the stuff we shared together. I loved her a lot, and she was my motivation. I can say my life was turned upside down; I just didn't want to be an ordinary boyfriend for her, I mastered three languages, I became top of my class, and I was accepted for almost a position. I wanted to just do more with myself so that I can be worthy of her before I propose. Anyway, then three months ago, she developed a habit of not talking/texting me for days, and the reason was she doesn't want to interrupt my studies. Then, she would start meaningless arguments. Until, one day, she suddenly started saying that I never was any good for her, and she owes me nothing. That was right after she graduated, and she never talked ever since, deleting my numbers, every other thing except facebook. Then, I woke up one day about a month later, seeing her sharing a post of a quote "it's unlikely for a girl with high standard like me to date a piece of sh*t". I just liked her post, and I understood the message. It didn't take long for me to remove her before she would have done herself. Though, I would sometimes stare at my whatsapp screen on her number, waiting to see her status changing to online so that I know she is alright. It gives me some remedy, and as a matter of fact I am thankful because I was put on the right track because of her, I still owe her something, however.


       

Regretful

December 31, 2015 @ (Germany )

Tags: bad


I have just woke up now, having dreams about one of my ex's who apparently was so perfect that i wish her back since three years and everyday, i had known her for four years that time, we struggled a lot, had to fall apart, war stuff and bad community, the traditions where we lived, didn't allow us to keep meeting without being engaged at least, and even though I was too young for that, i could give away my life for her, so we did, i was 20 and obviously i had not been preparing for my future as having a family myself, no job, still getting money from my parents, and after a short while, her parents started pressing on her to press on me to work on my future, the really soon future, and she was just too prefect to do that but I could always know that she is being pressed and she has a lot to say but she doesn't to not make me feel bad, but I could always feel that, and I had a strong depression these days, I started drinking heavily, I lost hope about everything, I lost hope on myself, I said I won't ever make it, and her family couldn't appreciate my situation, So I left her without saying goodbye, I just didn't turn up again, she contacted me for months and months after that, I always wanted to talk to her, I have been missing her for years now, but I was weak enough to pick up her calls it messages, and now after years of that, everything changed in my life, every single part of me change, I have a great future now, having a great life ... But I swear a god, everything became tasteless for me, I can't enjoy anything anymore, I lost my interests about almost everything, life isn't interesting anymore.


       

Sergeidragunov45

November 30, 2015 @ (pegasusland )

Tags: muffin sushimuis clisje neko-chan broken heartache manuel muurbloem jason gregory house


About nine months ago, my girlfriend and I broke up. We had a relationship for about 4 years, but it felt like we knew eachother much longer because we saw eachother almost every day and we hardly ever had a fight. My (ex) girlfriend was a beautiful indonesian girl with mesmerizing dark brown eyes and the prettiest smile ive ever seen before. we had a lot in common and I love her like crazy ( i still do).The reason for our breakup was because of the fact that my parents are very traditional (im chinese btw) and strict. So that means that I am not allowed to date a girl that wasnt from the same root as mine and we are raised to have maximum respect for elder people, especially parents. In the beginning when we just started dating, my parents acted cool towards our relationship. that was because they didnt thought it was serious and they saw it more like friendship. But later when i told them that we are really boyfriend and girlfriend, they became mad and wanted me to find a chinese girl. I didnt listen to them and I Always had an argument with my parents because I love that girl so much. This went on for several years until that one moment i've had it all enough of all that fighting with my parents. Later ive been thinking about breaking up with her but i couldnt do it, i love her to much to lose her. I said before that im chinese and chinese people have a lot of respect for parents. so I told my parents: This is enough, I had it with all this fighting. I'll do whatever you want and break up with her''. This was the toughest I had to do in my life and when i saw her and didnt even told her in person. I broke up with her per text, because i couldnt watch her cry and suffer. I thought that i would get over her and that i would be one line again with my parents, but i was so miserably wrong. I still had arguments with my parents about other stuff and this went from bad to worse. plus i dont have my girlfriend to talk to about this stuff and support me. i thought that it would get better in the future but i was wrong again. its still the same it Always has been the same and now Ive lost the love of my life. I think about her everyday and i just cant forget her. everytime when I lay in bed i pretend that my cushion is her and that i hug her while I sleep and I even dream about her almost every night. I know that i sound like a complete idiot right now but i really still suffer. She moved on with her life and I still pretend in my imagination that I still have her. maybe i became mad or maybe im just an idiot. but one things for sure, this wound hasnt been healed a little bit and it wont be in a long time. it probably never will. but one thing is for sure, I still love her and I hope she will find happiness in the future, with me or without me.


       

Sophie

September 21, 2015 @ (Uk)

Tags: Breakup


I met this guy online. I was in the process of ending a 3 year relationship. He came out of the blue, we started talking, texting, skype and we talked hours on the phone. He told me I was Mrs. Right and that he was going to marry me. I fell so jard for him. He lives in another stTe and i was making plans to visit him next month and eventually move there we had so much in common. He used the right words, he was everything I wanted. I was in lo e like I habe never been. He needed to get a job because his mom was going to kick him out and since he wasn't studying because his parents are facing a financial situation he needed a job and also because he has a project and needs money to accomplish that. He found a job and it was good he was happy and I was happy for him. He wanted to be the best at it and just succeed I totally understand that I told him I support you, we are a team. His schedule was hectic and some days he worked 16 hours. We barely talked and he told me that this was going to be at first until everything settle. We fouvht because there were days I didn't heard from him, and we fix it, then we fouvht again. He became distNt and stop saying i love you. I sent him a package with stuff and he put it as his profile picture then 2 weeks ago changed it. I told him lets forget our problems lets just focus on the future and support each other blahblah he didn't reply so i said okay nextday he said sorry i just read it and i was having a bad moment so couldnt reply. We havent talked he said that two saturdays ago so last wednesday i texted saying whats up noreply but he texted wuth my friend he ignores me. I turned my phone off since thursday because i have been crying for two weeks, i feel dead inside. I dont eat, cant sleep i am so depressed and i have my plane ticket and i dont know if i should go or not. I dont know what to do. This is the first breakup that made me feel like there is no more hope that maybe he has anew gf or he just played with me. Or that i am not worth fighting for.ido feel worthless and cant stop crying. Also i lost mu job so i dont have anything to look forward


       

Raisin Girl

September 08, 2015 @ (Canada)

Tags: Goodbreakup



Me
I will start off by saying my whole life I have been shy. Anytime someone hinted at me liking them, I ignored it, and denied it convincingly!
People at school called me prude. I was a "good girl" even though I just wanted what everyone else wanted! Just no way to get to it. I was called asexual.
It was in 11th grade I got close to a guy.
I was not afraid to talk to him. We talked a lot. He asked me out. I was so excited! How did he know i liked him? I said yes.
But...
Then he changed his mind because I don't drink! Yes, it is true. But, I said I don't care if you do! No, it was late. I found out later he is bisexual.

Later 1 year I decided I have to have a guy. I went out to events like concerts and stuff to make myself available. I kept seeing this guy with long brown hair and metal t shirts. He looked so... Unique.
And he didn't go to my school.
Somehow he messaged me on myspace. I guess he saw I liked pantera. Well, talk here, talk there. I just wanted one thing but didn't want to seem too slutty. So, I gathered this was my only chance. I waited months before he told me he didn't think I was that kind of girl. A cornflake girl. That I don't have bad thoughts.
He asked me out. I was confused. I just wanted to do it, not be in a confusing relationship. Well, I thought this must be how it is. We hung out, kissed, but he told me it is ok to wait till marriage to do it. I was like what!
So we did do it quite a bit. He was fascinated that he "stole my virginity" which is kind of sick. Why do people obsess about this? I became attached to him strangely. Even though he was not charming in the slightest! Love.
Jump 1 year later at university, I met a muslim woman. She told me about Islam and it rang with my beliefs, so I became a muslim. One who worships God and only God. Who is not like anything or any one. This was after a year of meeting my muslim friend.

That news did not go ove with my bf of 2 years who is ATHEIST. We talked, we cried. We tried to work things out. There was no way he would believe in God, so he broke up with me. It was not allowed for me to be with him anyway, so it was for the best. It took awhile to get over him. Maybe few months especially after he tried pushing my buttons.

I don't know if he ever got over me. I stopped talking to him as muslim men and women are not supposed to chit chat with the opposite sex outside marriage and family. I never told anyone the reason for breaking up, just that it did not work out because I didn't tell them I was muslim yet.

But, I am married and have kids with a wonderful muslim husband for 7 years now. He is the best. He treats me like a queen.


       

Pierre

September 02, 2015 @ (france)

Tags: break up


Here goes it going to ne long.

I mst this girl on august 15 2014, I was working at work a hotel where i was working the night shift and she walks in with her daughter.10 years old.
She put her daughter to bed in the hotel and she came down and spoke to me , we had sex .
She game me her number we met up on the next day in a restaurant , then she stayed at mine for 4 nights with her daughter, everyday while sh was at mine she said tomorrow I am leaving , but she stayed.
She lives 150 miles from me so on weekends I would see her and most weekends on a monday morning she would say I want you to leave then when I leave she would say I love you .
Her daughter would cry at night if her mother stayed up with me , if she went to bed she would not.
One night her mother got angry through out her daughter on the street , I tried to bring her in but her mother said no.Finally she brought her in and she smashed her place up plates and glasses and furtuinre then she said I have had enough she took her car and wanted to commit suicide.
Me and the daughter cleaned up the place 10 mins later she came back and said now the daughters a sleep. she then through me out at 01:00 no taxi in the area and my phone was dead. after 30 mins she let me back in the house.this was in around nov 2014.

I still went back on weekends and sometimes it was ok sometimes she wanted me to leave.

She has been to my house a few times, she would have a go saying I am always on the phone, so I thrw the phone outside . and she went quite.

Sometimes at mine she would say I dont like it hear. I want to go home so I would drive her back home and then next day she said she loves me.

I used to pay for her shopping buy her found even though we are both working.

She used to coplain about my hair my clothes, her life and her daughter her family.

One time she said she tried to commit suicde from a 3rd floor window.
We booked a weekend to Paris away I booked train tickets and hotels 4 days before she said I am not going with you . so I lost money on train ticket but got hotel cancelled ok.
weeks later we went with my son and her daughetr and her to paris for 5 days. 1st day she complained about the room, she walked out half way out of a meal. I payed for all the stuff in paris she did not give me the money for her part I finally said its ok..because everyday she said I will give it to you.

after Paris she did not speak to me and 4 days later she said she loves me .

My sons grandfather passed away in august 2015. My ex (sons mother) had to orgnaise everything also she had to change appointements for drs for my son before he returns back to school. MY girfriend got upset said we dont have hoildays together and we have 1 week off and your ex did it on purpose to change dayes, I said no because her father died.

Anyway, she has split up with me for that also she said, because I work the night shift and I tried to stay at your place I cant .

My son was happy I split up with her and sent her 2 text messages and she was unhappy about him saying hes happy we split up.

She then told me its finished I should go and fuck my self .

I miss her no idea why after everything. I have not written everything because thier was so many tantrums and her having a go at me .

Sometimes I feel sad , I just want to speak to her , I miss the sex and this was my 1st realtionship since 8 years


       

Nate

August 03, 2015 @ (europe)

Tags: Bad break up


Once upon a time I was dating a girl for a few months, I was in love with her and was really enjoying it. We had our ups and down , on the last month though we were doing pretty well. until the summer break came , so we were going to spend about a month apart, in our hometowns. A few days after she left she started to show some kind of unconcern about me, and phone calls reduced. the duration of phone calls also reduced. I understood that things were going bad, even I was complained some times to her .But I believed that it was just the distance, or that I was overreacting and overthinking it. I was very sad, angry and unsecure at that time but I tried not to show it, most of the times, not to make things worse and I just waited to get back together to see what is actually going on. But the last few days before we return to the city we were studying, she started to talk to me really cold on the phone without any obvious reason. So I decided not to talk to her again and see how far this apathy and unconcern goes. So one day we closed the phone, and didn't call her again. Neither did she. She detached and then she got lost, just like that... So I decided after a few days to call her, as I knew she had already arived, and I asked her to meet and talked,she agreed but she said she was very busy with going out with friends and she told me me that she wasn't sure about when we are going to meet. This was very offensive, I felt very bad that it was so hard for her to find 20 minutes to discuss with me the problem..just because she was going out a lot with friends. I was sure then that we were breaking up, So the next day I just sent her a text and I said her that we were breaking up, with the hope that if it was important for her to be together, she would try a just a bit. But she replied and said that she also wanted to break up. My heart teared apart at that time. Something that once was good, ended with a 2-lines text and a goodbye. I am very sad about it, some day I will feel better I suppose, but today is not that day.

I talk to people about it and most of them act like it's nothing, and respond to me with stuff like you will find another one etc. At first I was feeling but about being so hurt, but a loss like this causes pain , and it feels better now that I accepted that pain is just normal in cases like this and eventually it will pass, but not today.


       








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