December 31, 2015 @ (Germany )

Tags: bad

I have just woke up now, having dreams about one of my ex's who apparently was so perfect that i wish her back since three years and everyday, i had known her for four years that time, we struggled a lot, had to fall apart, war stuff and bad community, the traditions where we lived, didn't allow us to keep meeting without being engaged at least, and even though I was too young for that, i could give away my life for her, so we did, i was 20 and obviously i had not been preparing for my future as having a family myself, no job, still getting money from my parents, and after a short while, her parents started pressing on her to press on me to work on my future, the really soon future, and she was just too prefect to do that but I could always know that she is being pressed and she has a lot to say but she doesn't to not make me feel bad, but I could always feel that, and I had a strong depression these days, I started drinking heavily, I lost hope about everything, I lost hope on myself, I said I won't ever make it, and her family couldn't appreciate my situation, So I left her without saying goodbye, I just didn't turn up again, she contacted me for months and months after that, I always wanted to talk to her, I have been missing her for years now, but I was weak enough to pick up her calls it messages, and now after years of that, everything changed in my life, every single part of me change, I have a great future now, having a great life ... But I swear a god, everything became tasteless for me, I can't enjoy anything anymore, I lost my interests about almost everything, life isn't interesting anymore.



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