Tags: Tags: Sad break up, Miss him, Comment
I was with the guy of my dreams... So I thought. He was perfect in every way. Took me out on the best dates, and treated me well. I was planning to save myself, but I ended up giving everything up, gave the little innocence I had left to him. I thought since we connected right away that I would end up with him. I met him through the internet. The same day that we met online we met in person, I instantly felt a strong connection with him, he was charming had great eyes, smile, and laugh. He opened doors, just the perfect gentlemen. A week later, he then told me that he could not be with me, giving me a list of why not. I hated hearing it, he then dropped me off at home, when he dropped me off at home, all I could do was cry. Curious as to what had gone wrong. We ended up texting after he dropped me off, then ended up on a long phone call. The next day we hadn't texted all day. I then sent a message, opps wrong person, but it was to him, and I was meaning to send it to another person. We then ended up talking again, yes I was happy but again I felt so much anger towards him. I loved him, I fell in love with him. He had become my everything, and to this day still is. Anyways, we got back together, we talked it out, figured everything out, and I gave it to him. He almost even said that he loved me, while we were cuddled up, but he just stopped himself because he said if he said that I would hurt him, but why? I do not know. We were great, then classes started back up, and everything changed, we stopped seeing each other everyday, and the good turned into the bad again. I missed him, I wanted to see him after my late classes, but he had other plans, and wanted to do other things. I guess, he wanted his single life back, and the more he tried to cling on to what we had the further he was pushed off. I miss him, and I wish I could just get over him, and move on with my life.
Tags: She cheated, bad breakup, bitch
During my freshman year of highschool, I was worried about making friends, but I did surprisingly well in a social aspect. On the 3rd week of school, a girl sat right in front of me during our physical education class. This girl just moved in to my town in August and supposedly the reason why she moved is because her single father sent her here because his wife divorced him. But something strange I noticed is that her older sister and younger brother stayed with her father in New Jersey (this all took place in Miami, FL). I didn’t mind though. Anyhow, I met her in that class and after about 2 days of being just friends, we started dating. It turns out she actually had a crush on me and that’s why she sat in front of me on that day. I was, from what she said, her "first kiss" and also her "first boyfriend" and I didn't doubt it at all; in fact, I was honored because of it. Nothing could take that title away from me. For the first month, everything was fantastic. No arguments. No stress. It was all make out sessions, guitar songs on the beach, and basically, just pure relationship shit. I wasn't in love with her though, but I still cared very much for her. I put her in front of my family and friends, always got her gifts, always made her happy whenever she was down, helped her with schoolwork, family issues, depression, friends; I put everything I had into this. After the first month, she gave me a letter that said that after highschool we should move in together and get married someday, which did seem rather clingy, but I said yes because at that moment, I fell in love. She gave me a blowjob that day too which seems weird considering she had no experience before me (remember I was her first kiss and her first boyfriend). Around that time, they switched around my classes and they switched me out of the one class I had with her. The day after that, she starts talking about another guy. I didn't mind though because she had many other guy friends she would talk about occasionally (I did get a bit jealous, but it never got the better of me). Over the next two weeks or so, she started talking more about him, and eventually started texting him and hanging out with this other guy more than me. That Friday I went over her house, re-ignited the spark, and even got head. Everything was fantastic for the both of us. We were so happy; until Monday, of course. She was pissed at me for an unknown reason on Monday, so I resolve it that Tuesday by surprising her in the morning with flowers, using the cologne she likes, using the clothing she loves I wear; the small things she always mentioned. That didn't work. But on the bus later that day, I won her back. She said she was mad because I was too clingy. Ok, fair game. So I stopped being clingy. However, after two days she's pissed at me again because I was being too friendly (the opposite of clingy) and she ditched me that day. I immediately took the bus (which I almost got kicked off of), went home, wrote a letter for her, dressed really nicely, and ran 3 miles to her house to surprise her. I then fix everything AGAIN with her and we plan to meet up on Sunday (our 2 month anniversary). We decide to meet up at the mall at 7:00, go to my empty place until 11:00, and return. She ends up showing two hours late, didn't kiss or hug me or anything when I greeted her, canceled our plans, texted the guy she was obsessed about (and freaked out about the fact he got a haircut), left me with a huge bill for the food, and didn't even kiss me that night. After she left, she texted me saying that I only wanted her for sex (not true) and I go off explaining that I love her for the love she gives me not her body and etc. She then says that she loves me and is never going to leave me and we go on for a while exchanging about how much we loved each other. I was relieved. However, not even 24 hours later, she texts me saying that we should be friends for a couple weeks and then get back together. Things took a turn for the worst when that Thursday she leaves me (through a rumor nonetheless) and on that same day, about an hour after I heard we broke up, makes out with that guy she was obsessed about and texted all the time and freaked over his hair. Even though I tried to get her back with letters and chocolates and flowers and words from the heart and whatnot, it failed, and I was miserable. She said she wanted to be friends but then rumors spread that made me look bad and made her hate me. I fell into a deep depression. After we've been apart for a month, one of my best friends that I’ve known for 3 years now mentioned to me that while we were dating she sent him nude pictures of herself and even let him feel her up. She cheated on me with my best friend and then left me for her best friend/obsession (seemed kind of dumb considering said person has cheated on a lot of girls and has a face full of pimples). I still loved her though. Even though she treated me like crap, always texted other guys, showed up late and cancelled our plans I didn't care; I loved her. Unconditionally.
Today we’ve been broken up for a couple months. They ended up fucking but I’m pretty sure they’re both cheating on each other which seems pretty disgusting to me. I just wonder if it was really worth it when she slept with him… I guess I just need to learn the simple rule of “Don’t talk to strangersâ€. Good thing I’m over her.
Tags: breakup family sister cheating drama mexicans will always believe their daughter
This is a really looong story.
Due to mutual friends, I was introduced to this guy. Lets call him Kev. We were only 15. We talked everyday on the phone. I had a feeling that he might like but I shrugged it off as I only saw him as a friend and I was still heart broken from my previous break up with "Stan". I loved Stan with all my heart and I still do! Anyways, after getting to know Kev, he asked me to be his gf 6 months later but I rejected him cause I couldn't get over Stan. Then we got into an argument about something stupid and stopped talking for about 2 months. He approached me when we started talking again. By then, I thought I was starting to get over Stan so I gave Kev a chance. We started dating and I was so happy cause it felt like Stan was starting to fade away in my mind (he never did). 4 months into our relationship, we had sex for the first time. We were both virgins so neither of us knew what to do. Needless to say, it sucked. But I was okay with it at first cause sex isn't everything. However, everytime we have sex, it felt terrible. My friends would suggests things but they never worked! I, on the other hand, became quite the expert in oral sex cause of all the advice my friends gave me. After 6 months of trying, I couldn't take it anymore. I tried breaking up with him but it made me realized how attached I am to him. So we got back together. Shortly after that, his bitchy older sister, "Stacy", found out we're in a serious relationship. Idk what's wrong with her, but she was insane! First, she lied to her family saying I harassed her via texts and they believed her! I was banned from the house until the lie was falling apart. The next time I saw her, she was angry cause Kev told her I went to the movies with my ex "Danny". Danny and I were really close friends. Yeah, he was madly in love with me but I didn't feel the same way. We would talk on and off cause everytime when are going well, he think he'd have a chance, so I would stop talking to him for a while. Anyways, Stacy was furious that I did that. She threatened me and said she will kill my ass next time. I wanted to say something back so I would look like a spineless person cause I'm not at all, but Kev just told me to ignore her. BIG MISTAKE. After that, she probably think I was weak cause she kept threatening me. Family did nothing. All they ever say is to ignore her. Well I got tired of her and I was still sexually frustrated, so I talked to Danny about it. Note this, Danny was saving his virginity for me and he was already 18 at the time. One thing led to another, I ended up sleeping with Danny (he sucked too). I deeply regretted it and confessed my crime to Kev. He was angry but he was glad I told him. In the end, I chose Kev over Danny. Now, all that we've been through, Stacy is still harassing me. And I felt like Kev cared more about his friends and family than me cause he never stood up for me. He claimed he has but I call bs. So once again, I was fed up. Another friend who was also head over heels for me was there to comfort me whenever Stacy would verbally abuse me. Needless to say, I made another mistake. I, again, confessed my crime to Kev and he was beyond angry because they go to the same school so he knew him. Well I tried breaking it off with Kev but everytime, something calls me back. I feel terrible for what I did and Kev always reminded me... No, the harassing never stopped. We almost got into a fight once...(she's 3x my size). I stopped the cheating, I didn't want it to turn into a habit. But then I found out he went and hung out with my friend's twin in the middle of the night. "Supposedly" nothing happened, but the twin said he tried to get at her. Idk who to believed so I dropped it. When we were together for about 1 1/2 year, he took this girl to Comicon. I smelled something fishy but again, he claimed nothing happened. Third strike, I found out he was kiking this girl "Joey". The old messages were already deleted but calling another "cutie" is already enough. We officially ended a month ago. We were together for 2 years and 5 months.
in the end, I learned not to meet the guy's family (especially the sisters), if I'm unhappy I should just leave and not cheat, and lastly, Kev is a lying cunt. He liked to remind me of my crimea but whenever I bring up his, he would always say "I didn't fuck her. You actually went and fucked Danny!" Yeah, he made me felt like shit
I know I made many mistakes in this relationship but damn, my life revolves around him. Idk how to function without him by my side... I should just stop talking to him, huh?
p.s. No, I never stopped thinking about Stan. He was my first love.
Tags: breakup family sister cheating drama mexicans will always believe their daughter
This is a really looong story.
Due to mutual friends, I was introduced to this guy. Lets call him Kev. We were only 15. We talked everyday on the phone. I had a feeling that he might like but I shrugged it off as I only saw him as a friend and I was still heart broken from my previous break up with "Stan". I loved Stan with all my heart and I still do! Anyways, after getting to know Kev, he asked me to be his gf 6 months later but I rejected him cause I couldn't get over Stan. Then we got into an argument about something stupid and stopped talking for about 2 months. He approached me when we started talking again. By then, I thought I was starting to get over Stan so I gave Kev a chance. We started dating and I was so happy cause it felt like Stan was starting to fade away in my mind (he never did). 4 months into our relationship, we had sex for the first time. We were both virgins so neither of us knew what to do. Needless to say, it sucked. But I was okay with it at first cause sex isn't everything. However, everytime we have sex, it felt terrible. My friends would suggests things but they never worked! I, on the other hand, became quite the expert in oral sex cause of all the advice my friends gave me. After 6 months of trying, I couldn't take it anymore. I tried breaking up with him but it made me realized how attached I am to him. So we got back together. Shortly after that, his bitchy older sister, "Stacy", found out we're in a serious relationship. Idk what's wrong with her, but she was insane! First, she lied to her family saying I harassed her via texts and they believed her! I was banned from the house until the lie was falling apart. The next time I saw her, she was angry cause Kev told her I went to the movies with my ex "Danny". Danny and I were really close friends. Yeah, he was madly in love with me but I didn't feel the same way. We would talk on and off cause everytime when are going well, he think he'd have a chance, so I would stop talking to him for a while. Anyways, Stacy was furious that I did that. She threatened me and said she will kill my ass next time. I wanted to say something back so I would look like a spineless person cause I'm not at all, but Kev just told me to ignore her. BIG MISTAKE. After that, she probably think I was weak cause she kept threatening me. Family did nothing. All they ever say is to ignore her. Well I got tired of her and I was still sexually frustrated, so I talked to Danny about it. Note this, Danny was saving his virginity for me and he was already 18 at the time. One thing led to another, I ended up sleeping with Danny (he sucked too). I deeply regretted it and confessed my crime to Kev. He was angry but he was glad I told him. In the end, I chose Kev over Danny. Now, all that we've been through, Stacy is still harassing me. And I felt like Kev cared more about his friends and family than me cause he never stood up for me. He claimed he has but I call bs. So once again, I was fed up. Another friend who was also head over heels for me was there to comfort me whenever Stacy would verbally abuse me. Needless to say, I made another mistake. I, again, confessed my crime to Kev and he was beyond angry because they go to the same school so he knew him. Well I tried breaking it off with Kev but everytime, something calls me back. I feel terrible for what I did and Kev always reminded me... No, the harassing never stopped. We almost got into a fight once...(she's 3x my size). I stopped the cheating, I didn't want it to turn into a habit. But then I found out he went and hung out with my friend's twin in the middle of the night. "Supposedly" nothing happened, but the twin said he tried to get at her. Idk who to believed so I dropped it. When we were together for about 1 1/2 year, he took this girl to Comicon. I smelled something fishy but again, he claimed nothing happened. Third strike, I found out he was kiking this girl "Joey". The old messages were already deleted but calling another "cutie" is already enough. We officially ended a month ago. We were together for 2 years and 5 months.
in the end, I learned not to meet the guy's family (especially the sisters), if I'm unhappy I should just leave and not cheat, and lastly, Kev is a lying cunt. He liked to remind me of my crimea but whenever I bring up his, he would always say "I didn't fuck her. You actually went and fucked Danny!" Yeah, he made me felt like shit
I know I made many mistakes in this relationship but damn, my life revolves around him. Idk how to function without him by my side... I should just stop talking to him, huh?
p.s. No, I never stopped thinking about Stan. He was my first love.
Tags: bad break ups
Hey!!!
I want to share my story just to ease some pain...You know the worst part is when you have no one around you to share your feelings.....
I am from a typical Indian family.A girl who has always loved her parents more than anything in her life. Wanted to be with them always, take care of them. Infact I had decided that I'm never going to marry anyone ever.So, I never allowed myself to have any soft corner for anyone. I was happy but then someday I got a message from some old batchmate of mine on Facebook. Gradually we started chatting, sharing thoughts, jokes, started talking on phone and literally got addicted to each other. I started considering him as my best friend. He has always been real nice to me, always convinced me that one day I will find someone who will accept myself with all my responsibilities and will respect and love my parents like his own. And then after 6 months the day came when he proposed me. I was already having a hint of this from the past couple of days. I really liked him but had never thought about him like that because we had same gotra (we Indians are prohibited to marry someone with same gotra) . I never wanted to disclose my feelings to him but also didn't want to hurt him with a 'NO', So I told him this all gotra thing and convinced him to just be friends. But with time we just got drifted away and started living in an illusion that something will happen and we will be together in future...Decided that we will convince our parents and will marry with their permission....Started planning our lives together, fully committed, making all the promises to be together till the end, never realizing that they were all just dreams...We were madly, deeply in love. We completely accepted eachother as husband and wife...I was sure of one thing that it was not physical attraction though he was no less than Prince charming...I mean how could it be ...We haven't met each other for the last 7 years...
Time passed....We were so in love... I had never realized that this much love existed on earth. Even the feeling of having him with me made me so comfortable, cozy, relaxed...I felt so complete with him.....I never even required to say what I was feeling,,,we just not needed any words to express each other...
Then one day somehow my parents found out about us....I told them how much I love him and also assured them that I will never do anything without their permission....They were so mad at me...They said straight forward NO just because I being a female was having higher education that him...There was a big emotional drama......I tried my best to convince them but all in vain......And finally asked me to choose between them and him...This was even before I could tell them about gotra thing.....After all this I realized one thing that they are never going to accept us and if I somehow force them to or do something on my own, he will never get the respect he deserves....I love him but I respect him more.....I just can't bear this fact that my family don't respect my husband.....So, I broke up with him...Told him that they think that we will have ego clashes in future....He hates me for this...I know...Infact I hate myself too for this.....I feel so sorry that I couldn'd keep all the promises we made.....Everytime I think about this it feels like something cuts me from inside.....I know in this relationship it was me who was unfair.....It's been long time since we broke up but still every night I silently weep thinking about him...I still love him and miss him so much.....He was my first and last love......I know I will never be able to feel the same way again.....I am all broken.....People says that time heals all the wounds but in my case I feel like this pain is increasing day by day....This regret, this pain is my punishment.....And now I myself don't want to let it go...At least in this way he is with me....I know that I can never have him back but still wait for him forever.....And if some day I got to know about his marriage I will be the first person to be happy for him,,,at least he has moved on....
Tags: bad break ups
So I was friends with this boy for about a year and a half before we started dating. He was in the Marine Core. I actually met him when he was going through a divorce with his high school sweet heart who cheated on him with 20 different guys that he worked with. He went on deployment and we become Facebook friends and started talking all the time and skyping everyday. We talked about absolutely everything for hours. He came back and and we then went out a few times with his friends to the bars and had fun. This one weekend all his friends rented a hotel room and in the same weekend my roommate was being a bitch and locked me out, so i ended up sleeping in there hotel room. He was always such a gentlemen and walked me to my car and helped me move it before we went back to the room. We decided just to hang out with each other. We went back to the room, and laid on the bed and just stared at each other. nothing happened and we cuddle. After that we started having movie nights together and he would beg his friends to bring him to my house because he didn't have a car. well, about a month after that, we decided to drink. and then one thing led to another and he kissed me. and then the weekend after we ended up sleeping with each other. and he just started coming over a lot and we were best friends. always with each other. about 2 months after that, we went on a booze cruise and he proclaimed his love to me. I told him to call me in the morning and that i didn't believe him because he was drinking. He called me in the morning sober and said it. (FIRST TIME IN LOVE) i liked him so much, his girly side, his stupidity, the fact that we would always get ready together and take showers with each other. about a month after that he just stopped texting me as much , and he was getting out of the military. the day he left, he told me how much he loved me but that we were not going to do distance.. well he didn't talk to me for four months. Just left and nothing. I googled his name and saw he had a dating website and he had been talking to girls the whole time in our relationship. I flipped shit and sent him nasty texts. four months later he tried talking to me and told me still that he loves me and that he would be 100 percent with me if we were in the same town. He also said how much he has liked this one girl in high school his whole life and going for her. I thought everything was so twisted. It hurts so much to this day. i want it to be a struggle to remember his name
Tags: Bad Breakup, Pregnancy,
When I was 20, and not long after I had gotten out of another relationship I started seeing a guy who I was incredibly attracted too (and i think that may have been one of the only reasons I was with him) He was tall, dark hair, blue eyes and very muscular. I'll call him Dave for this story. So Dave and I started dating and we weren't together long before sleeping together. We were all over each other, but one day I discovered that he was putting a condom on then taking it off without me noticing before we had sex. Needless to say I got pregnant. At first I was completely smitten by him and I was convinced along with all my friends and family that he would stand by me. But before I discovered I was pregnant things started getting a little weird. I noticed he tried to dominate me, just with things like asking me to get the light or make a cup of tea but he demeaned me greatly if I didn't do it. He also kept giving me back-handed compliments like 'I don't like piercings but you SOMEHOW manage to stay pretty even with them' He didn't like me taking my bra off during sex because my breasts were a turn off but he liked having my top off because he still thought I was mostly sexy, didn't like hanging out with me friends, or stop over at my place, would always choose what was on tv even if I didn't like it, (which was usually the case) and the same with music. It was a disaster but just seeing him got me flustered so I put up with it. He told me he didn't want the baby but he'd stick by me if I chose to keep it which I did. Much to my surprise (but looking back it should have been obvious) he dumped me, refused to have anything to do with the kid, tried again 4 weeks after breaking up to get me to get rid of the baby, blamed the whole thing on me and said I just did it for attention so he shouldn't have to be a dad. After my son was born I tried to get child support off him but he claimed he wasn't the dad and refused a DNA test. I would love to get him back one day but I started dating my current boyfriend when I was 7 months pregnant who I had known before hand. He quit a job he loved to get a better paid one, borrowed money off his family to get a nice, decent house for all three of us to live in and asked me not to take money of Dave because as far as he's aware my son is his and he will support him not some jackass that's not man enough to take responsibility. We are now looking into my boyfriend adopting our son, and as a Christmas present I changed our son's second name to his. He cried he was so happy. I was 20, at uni, my family lived in a different country and I was living on my mates couch at the time I got pregnant...just goes to show you that when life is hard there are still some good people you can depends on.
Tags: Bet, In Love, Young, Naive, High School, Virginity, Fake Friends, Bad People
So, I'm eighteen now but I'm going to rewind a year to my sophomore year..
~2 YEARS AGO~
When I was 16 I moved to California from Atlanta.. When I got here I was well known because of my skin color and my suprising hair length.. I got some secret admirers during the first few months and some not so secret admirers.. For the most part I had a very small group of girl friends but a large group of acquaintances.. Everyone I knew I was introduced to by one of my friends.. I was invited to a party about a month after I arrived by one of my friends (let's call her Becca). So Becca introduced me to three guys at the party (Let's call them Luke, Nate, and Daniel). So Luke and I really hit it off and we started to hang out.. Everywhere Becca took me Luke was there.. After another month of us hanging out we officially started dating.. He was so sweet to me and I remember always thinking.. 'I'm so in love with this guy'.. We spent every moment together and he treated me so well.. When I got a job at this tanning spa he would always bring me food and gifts.. After another month of this he started to disappear.. I wasn't really worried about it at the time because I was a dumb love-struck child.. After a few weeks of absence with only phone calls he reappeared and his charm was in over-drive.. Around this time rumors started floating around school that I was a slut and all that shit and that Luke got me pregnant.. I asked him about it and he just insisted that they were jealous and told me he loved me.. He told me this every day five times a day almost for the next three weeks.. And then he proposed... (Yes, he proposed to me at 16.. And my dumb ass said 'yes') Welp.. I lost my virginity that night.. (Don't judge me.. He's a con-artist) And the gifts, the visits, the 'I love you's, the calls, everything.. Stopped. I was still infatuated with him and I refused to believe he used me.. He never proposed with a ring which should've told me that he wasn't serious but I thought him saying 'I love you' was good enough.. The rumors at school got worse in his absence and I heard an interesting theory swirling around.. It was a bet. I refused to believe it at first until I decided to ask Becca about it.. She just cried and cried and cried.. She kept telling me she was sorry and she didn't know he would actually do it.. Turns out my 'friends' Nate and Daniel bet Luke $200 dollars that he couldn't take my virginity before the year was up.. TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS IS WHAT MY VIRTUE MEANT TO THEM!! Luke came back to school a month later and acted as if I was invisible.. I stopped talking to all my friends and found a new group.. I confronted Luke a week later and he said he just fell out of love and the bet never existed which I know is bullshit because he somehow got a new paintjob for his car.. I didn't cry.. I wasn't sad.. I was pissed beyond words.. He dismissed me so easily after he took something that was meant for my husband.. I could've hurt him as easily.. I thought about slashing his tires or something like that but in the long run I didn't do anything that could get me in trouble.. I let it go. It's been two years since then and I have a new boyfriend.. His name is Chris! I love him sooo much and unlike Luke we're taking it slow because we both know what it's like to get hurt.. I've spoken to Luke once since the confrontation and that was to curse him out and vent a little bit.. Which ultimately ended in him walking away and me slapping him.. I hope Luke finds someone good so that when he does some shit like that to her and she leaves he'll know how other people feel when he mistreats them.. Chris and I are in love.. And I'm sure this time because it feels different than the love I had for Luke.. It feels natural.. I guess I felt strained in my relationship with Luke without realizing it because I had nothing to compare it to.. Just in case you were wondering.. Yes. My parents know what Luke did to me and his parents know too.. I'm not going to share what happened because that's between our families but I'll tell you Luke owes my family a lot of money.. This experience has made me stronger in more ways than one and more alert.. Before you judge me you have to remember I was naive and sixteen.. With college time nearing and my upcoming move to L.A. with Chris I can let go of all the scars that my move to California gave me because I got lots of opportunities too! If anything like this happens to you know that there is light at the end of the tunnel.. I found my light! This is for the girls.. Save your V-Card.. You only have one and make sure it counts and he really deserves it.. I made the fatal mistake to give it to someone who saw it is nothing more than a bet and hasn't even apologized.. I hope you learned something from my mistake.. Byeeee!
Tags: So Bad it's funny
My girlfriend and I were dating for a few months, and things were going really great until I felt pressured to tell her I loved her. I didn't want to be the one to cut things off because she told me about her post breakup anorexia, so I waited, getting more miserable because she never listened to my feelings. One weekend she invited me to her house, which was an ordeal because she didn't include me with her family or friends, and I got into an argument with her. On the way back to college, she broke up with me in front of her mom and sister. I couldn't believe it. She said she thought I needed help and that she couldn't talk it out because she needed to eat lunch with her family, but she contacted my dad and friends to let them know how distraught I was before I could. Later when I asked over Facebook if she would give me a movie ticket I paid for that she was holding for me, she said that she gave it to her stepmom. I proceeded to call her a bitch. Soon after I was greeted by a message from her father saying he called the police. Nothing happened, but during the next week or two, she proceeded to blog about me numerous times after saying she didn't blame me. Once I used the private blog she recommended to me to process things, but she passed my link to all her friends and one of them compared my to the shat out remains of Hitler after reblogging what I thought was a private post. Needless to say we are not on speaking terms.
Tags: Bad break up, I still love him, First love
Our relationship was totally unexpected. Last september 2013, a guy that I had a teeny tiny bit of a crush asked me out unexpectedly. No clues, No everything. Out of shock, I started freaking out. I don't know what to do. My mind screamed no, but heart says yes! The reson why i don't want to go on is because im scared of my mom. Like really. She's the definition of a really strict mom. i was scared but then a thought crossed my mind.
Why not accept this? Everything happens for a reason right?
That's when I said Yes. For the first 2 weeks it was amazing. The sparks, the giddy butterflies in my tummy were there until my mom found out about him. It was horrifying. My mom was in range. My mom threatened me to talk to him in school. I was scared. I told her that I promise to break up witj. So I did. I explained to him everything. After a day, things were back together. We decided to mend things back together. I mean we aren't officially dating but you know what I mean? You can sense that something's still going on? Yup, that's it. October came, he stole my first kiss. It was magical. All I could ever think about is that I love him. That everything revolves around him. Its like he's my world. He's my strength yet he is also my weakness. Everything in him is just perfect. The way he surprises me with kisses.. The way he brought Gatorade just for me (Gatorade is my favorite drink, i just love that shit lol)
It was perfect. Everything was perfect. There are even times when he makes silly jokes or I took glances at him in class and im like 'shit, I love this guy' I was soo inlove. It was just.. Perfect. I never been so happy in my life. Everytime I woke up he's all I ever think about. He's cute 'Good Morning's'.. It made me cry, thinking about all those happy memories.
When christmas break came, he told me that his wifi router got broken.. Me, being the understanding girl that I am, understands him. I told him it was okay that he shouldn't worry about me.
(We talk and chat in Kik. We can't text since my mom checks my phone all the time)
One time, back at christmas break.. I was looking at my chat box in facebook but Something totally made me stop in my tracks. He was online. And he was usinh he's phone. I messaged him, i did everything but noo, he wouldn't reply anymore.. I don't know why. Christmas eve came, I kept on looking at my phone hoping that maybe he'd greet me a merry christmas but no, nothing came. It broke my heart. But one thing crossed my mind. I was like 'oh maybe he's wifi router is still destroyed'
New year came, I was waiting. Waiting for him to atleast greet me but no, nothing still came. It hurt me. It Crushed me .. to millions of pieces. But there's one thing that made me ball my eyes out.. He's close friend messaged me in facebook. He's like;
Happy new year __ ! How are you and him? I hope that this year is going to be a big blast for both of you. Best wishes. Haha don't forget im one of your #1 Fans of LYN! hahaha cx
That totally made me cry. I mean out of everything why that? Why his friend.? Its really heartbreaking to know that he's friend greeted me, while him? No. There was no effort. It crushed me. The way his friend says he want us to be good this year. It break me.
School came along, i tried not to approch him. Waiting for him to atleast apologize or say Hi, or ask me how my christmas break went but nothing. He never did. It crushed me. The next day, I tried talking to him but he was distant like he really is. He's bestfriend approached me and told me he wanted to talk. I listened. He's bestfriend told me the truth. He met a girl back at christmas break. He went to the movies with her and ate in a restaurant. It killed me. I was paralyzed in my seat. My breathing hitched. My face paled. My mind went blank. I felt like crying but my tears wouldn't fall. My eyes feel numb. My skin is on fire. I feel like someone just throwed me a bucket of lava. Just like that. It crushed me. I've lost weight. Im not the happy girl like before. Every recess or lunch, I don't mingle with my friends anymore. I just stay in the classroom, facing the wall, got my phone out and stay there till' its over. It crushed me. I'm not the bubble person that I am before. But you know what hurt me the most? He acted as if I never exist. It was like I was invinsible. That he couldn't see me. Just like that. There are times that I break down in class. I just couldn't help it. He looks soo happy without me. Huge smile in his face. And well, I also think that he has a crush on this girl.. He craves for her attention. He sits with her all the time in class. He talk about her all the time. I don't know what to do. Its killing me since we are classmates. I could see him everyday. Its hard to ignore him. It really is. It broke my heart. he is the love of my life. He's my everything. He's the only reason why I smile. Its hard. I mean he is after all my first love. My first ever boyfriend. My first kiss. It hurt me to know that another that I love, would leave me again. Like my dad. He left me. I mean sure, I got to see him and everything but it isn't like before. My dad has another daugther who is my half sister. My dad loves her so much. He wouldn't even bother to talk to me anymore. He wouldn't crave for our communication. When me and my dad's girlfriend fight, he always take her side. It kills me. Another guy who I love would leave me again. Wow, What did I do to deserve this? It kills me. Its almost a month now but im still not over him. He's all I could ever think about. I don't know what to do. I want the real me to be back again, but it wouldn't. Its hard to smile. He looks soo soo happy without me. It break me into millions of pieces. It made me realize that love is shitload of bullshit. I honestly don't believe in love anymore. I mean why? No matter how loving or caring that person is to you, they will break you in the end. Those people out there that are experiencing heartbreak, don't worry. Your not the only one. Im trying my hardest to stay strong. Let's just believe in ourself, have faith in God. And never say never
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