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Diana

December 06, 2009 @ (Maryland)

Back story: B/f and I have lived together for 5 years. We have been through a lot. Losing grandparents, my father having cancer, him being laid off...the list goes on. We have talked about marriage before and he always said that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me.

We are at thanksgiving dinner with his family and as always the questions begin about future wedding plans. B/f flips shit and in front of his whole family tells me he is moving out, he can't handle the pressure. I still had to drive an hr to my parents house and have thanksgiving with them. I figured he just snapped with pressure of the holidays and what not. I went home around 10pm...his shits gone...phone turned off.

To make things worse, his brother calls yesterday to ask me out on a date. Weirdest fucking family ever.

Barry

November 29, 2009 @ (Wisconsin)

Tags: josh christina

So i just found this website today and want to share what i found on facebook. This is the conversation from the now exs: Girl: Is single... And cold... Boy: you wouldn't be single if Maybe if you didn't disrespect people and admitt when you were wrong you wouldn't be sleeping in your car in a cub foods park. Girl: Loves her new black eye from her now ex. Random Friend: If he did anything why in the world would you post it on facebook, are you nuts you kicked him as hard as you could in the leg, so he pushed you, seriously, Josh is not 100 % to blame here Girl: Yeah dont you get im trying. He holds my belongings hostage then cries for me to never leave. Im leaving Girl:ye so i swung at him for being such a prick and he punched me in the face so i threw a drop of water on him and he kicked me in the stomach. Random Girl: Christina has beat him several times and he did nothing because he DOES NOT hit woman but this was the last straw for him and all he did was push her cuz she hit him several times.....There is more but this is the best of it...i'm guessing its over

David

November 24, 2009 @ (Ontario, Canada)

Tags: funny breakup, recent breakup, bad breakup

A couple of weeks ago I went in to write my Psychology midterm in one of the school's larger lecture halls. Everything started off fine: papers were handed out, I had all of my identification, I had actually put a couple of hours of studying into this test and I even brought my own pencil; what a glorious day. Sitting in the front row of this lecture hall I hear snickering starting from the back and then gradually making its way down towards me. Near the front of the class, I'm one of the last people to get the attendance sheet that everyone has to sign to prove they were actually there to write the test. At the top of the list I see my girlfriend's name and signature and, beside it, my name, with a simple message: "I can't do this anymore. It's over. Sorry." The best part? SHE DOESN'T EVEN GO TO THIS SCHOOL.

Nate

November 06, 2009 @ (North Dakota)

Tags: example 1

My girlfriend called me this morning at about 2:30 am after a night out with her girlfriends. She called to tell me that we had to break up because she was about to sleep with someone from the bar and didn't want to be labeled a "cheater". FML.

Kim

October 25, 2009 @ (Vermont)

Tags: Tequila

One word...Tequila. Always a bad decision. :(

Sadie

October 23, 2009 @ (Florida)

Tags: Football game

I left work early one day to meet my boyfriend so that we could go to a football game with his friends. I parked in the garage across from my work and he met me at the car. We are all excited and we go to turn the car on and we get nothing. I try to start it again and still nothing happens. All of a sudden my boyfriend totally freaks out that he has food in the trunk and his friends are waiting to eat. I tell him its not a big deal since they are in the box seats...they will live without a few hotdogs before the game. He completely freaks out and starts walking away. I ignore the freak out and call AAA while he is screaming that it is my fault the car wont start. We have a huge blow out and we just start screaming at each other in front of everyone whose trying to get home. He calls me a bitch and walks away. 2 hrs later no AAA guy and no boyfriend. I go across the street to a bar and get completely hammered...thank you red headed sluts! FINALLY the AAA guy comes to get my car. I call my boyfriend and hes still screaming at me telling me its my fault and that I better come pick him up after the game. I hung up the phone and the AAA guy looks at me and asks if he can buy me a drink. Turned out to be an awesome night and yes random sex with strangers does solve all your problems :)

Robert

October 14, 2009 @ (Ohio)

Tags: ohio

This is how we broke up. she says "You can't leave me, or i'll kill myself". Now note: this girl is a drama queen to the core. my reply: "Well, I hope you've enjoyed your ride."

Brendan

October 14, 2009 @ (Melbourne)

Tags: Done Deal

Yo,

I was dating this broad about six months ago for like 6 weeks. I broke up with her because she was getting in my way. For instance, I like to play about 3 hours of video games a night and she would always get upset about that. She would say things like, "Why don't we go out to eat?" or "Brendo, why don't you want to have sex instead of playing video games?"

Lol! What type of questions are these? Now I smoke bongs, play video games, eat pizza, and smash beers on the reg. WITHOUT some bird chirping in my ear.

Final Score: Brendo: 1 Dirty Birds: 0

Chris

October 13, 2009 @ (California)

Tags: heartbreaking

This isn't an especially exotic breakup, but it certainly broke my back. When I was an intern, I took a weekend call pretty early ... on a Friday night, so the amount of trauma we saw was very heavy (idiots drinking/driving, getting stabbed, etc). That 28hr shift was pretty much the worst night of my life b/c of:

- my first end of life discussion w/a family
- getting my chief to come in was like pulling teeth
- a couple of traumas came in basically DOA
- my medstudent, despite being warned that it was going to be a tough night and that he should read up on diagnosing traumatic injury, decided to read up on wiring of cautery knives ...
- ... then had the nerve to cuss me out for not treating him like he knew anything, despite him never reading, never knowing anything about patient treatment other than pain level
- the floor nurses refused to take verbal orders, making me actually walk up to the floor and write it in the patient chart (no matter if I was in the middle of a Code Blue or not)
- in fact, I got into lots of arguments with nurses about retarded crap
- the next morning, I was so busy in the ER, the oncoming resident had to see all my patients, making me look like a total douche
- I didn't sleep
- I didn't eat after lunch
- hell, I didn't even get to sit down at ALL that night

So I finally get home, almost getting into an accident on the way home b/c of exhaustion, and I get into bed and crash. 10hr later I wake up, still wiped out, hungry as hell, and figure the only thing that can make me feel not like shit is talking to my [long-distance] girlfriend of 20 months.

Well, literally just after I said the words "I don't think I'll ever have a worse night in my life," she cuts me off and says that she doesn't think we should date anymore. I was so exhausted I could barely put up a fight. I just slept for another 24hrs, and didn't eat until 2 days later, when I came back to work. Absolutely heartbreaking.

It was at that point that my realization dawned: being a doctor SUCKS; THIS is what I busted my ass, all my life, my dream, for???

Fred

October 13, 2009 @ (California)

Tags: cheating, whore

I was dating a girl for about 3 years, and one night we go out to a fantastic bar with a poker buddy of mine whom I had known for about 2 years. Being young and at a bar, we get totally shitfaced, and head back to the hotel (too far to take a cab home). After continuing to drink for another couple of hours, I discover that the insides of my stomach have decided to make a break for it, and that I need to lie down and pass out.

I wake up 30 minutes later to breath on my ear and the sound of moans. It seems my girl is on the bed behind me (bonus, there are 2 beds in the room), and my "friend" is behind her, with one hand down her pants and one hand up her shirt. I decide to wait a bit, to see where this is going (and to prevent excuses later). After about 15 minutes, I hear whispering, which I can only assume is something like "Let's move to the other bed so we can fuck without waking him". At this point I alert them to the fact that I am awake and have been for some time, that they're both dead to me, I'm moving to Vegas the next day, and then I get dressed to catch the aforementioned cab (the one that was too expensive).

She starts crying, and this guy, this...unbelievable asshole, starts trying to play the mediator, "She's a good girl, she doesn't deserve this" and the like. I tell him to shut his fucking mouth, and proceed to walk to the elevator. He chooses to physically bar my way, and even grabs me by the arm to prevent me from leaving. I calmly inform him that if he doesn't let me go, I'm going to knock him the fuck out. He doesn't take me seriously. Now...I'm not a violent guy...but looking at the expression of "come on guy" on this bastards face snapped something in me, and I dropped him like the sack of shit he is and leave.

The thing about this that really irked me is this:
Really? REALLY? You're going to wait until I'm sick with liquor, and THEN betray me at my weakest? Contemptible.

Vegas is nice.

Vegas