Searching for "change"

198 Results For 'change'

Zach

February 14, 2012 @ (Canada)

Tags: Best Friend, Messy, Life Goes on,

So I've been through a lot this past year and I feel like I am falling into the same pattern. It all started when I came out of the closet in February of 2008, my best friend didn't really know how to handle it. I could tell that he really wasn't okay with it, what I didn't know was that it was because he was actually gay too. So a few months after I came out out he eventually told me he was fine with it, and it was one of the happiest moments of my life. As time passed I noticed a change in him and then in July of 2009 he came out to me, and my reaction was well a little surprised. I never would have thought he was ever gay, he tried so hard to conceal that he was gay, he even dated and slept with girls, so it took some real evidence to prove that he wasn't messing with me. So he told me about the guy he had been seeing and it was all fine and dandy. Since I had met my best friend I always found him attractive, but now he was actually available. Summer turned to fall and soon enough he told me that he wasn't gay anymore, that 'it was a lifestyle choice he didn't wish to pursue.' I didn't believe him then and I don't believe him now mostly because I've seen him on a gay dating site recently. But never the less I still really liked him. He showed me this dating site that he used to meet guys and he signed me up, even though 'he wasn't gay anymore' he always insisted that I go out and meet guys, he was rather adamant which I found a bit odd, considering he was never interested in my love life before. Things began to get messy when he started to act out and act well a little recklessly, mostly because we and all of our friends were turning 19 and could start drinking, so he'd drive drunk, and he would do just do the dumbest things. This behavior went on for a year which brings us to 2011. 2011 was a very hard year for me. One day in the middle of July and I don't know the exact date, but he came over with some stuff I left at his house and he handed the items to me. I asked what was wrong and if he wanted to get a coffee, and he said 'Why would we do that?' and I said 'Because we're friends' and he replied 'Are we?' After that he turned away and I never saw him again. A month later I found out it was because I had feelings for him and that he had told all of our friends that I was a liar and horrible friend, that I was somehow delusional and that I had gone around spreading lies that he was gay when I told maybe 2 people who didn't say a word. So in the end he turned out to just be a coward who was trying to save his own ass who didn't care who he hurt in the process. Its been 7 months and I still haven't spoken or seen him, in the end I realized he would never have the courage to tell people how he really felt about anything or that he would never have the courage to tell anyone that he was a homosexual, and sometimes I feel like I may have hindered that. But its not always going to be my fault the blame will fall on him and all the lies and all the pettiness will catch up to him and everyone will see him for what he is. I won't vilify him and he shouldn't vilify me, we were both in our own ways wrong. I don't miss him anymore, I don't even want to be friends with him, mostly because of this one simple fact, I was his best friend and he always told me we would be friends no matter what, and I think to myself;I was hi best friend and look what he did to me? Why would I want to be friends with such a selfish person? Who put his own need to hide a silly secret above my feelings, I guess I wasn't as important to him as he liked to say, because if I was he would have at least talked to me and tried to work it out. I won't ever go back because I know if I did everything would be like it was before, he wouldn't respect me and it would be a misrealble disaster.

I'm moving on and more and more I am forgeting him, it started in September when I realized I couldn't remember the sound of his voice or his laugh, then things about him started to slip, and now I am starting to forget what he looked like, I feel like one day I'll need to grab a picture to remember him.

Bunny

February 10, 2012 @ (buena park)

Tags: sadd

We were dating for almost 3 years, we used to be so in love (or so i thought) he had a bff that i disliked, they were always together. I always had a feeling he liked her sinse everytime they were together he wasn't that sweet, but yet i desided to ignore it. Months passed by everything was cool then he stoped being sweet, didnt say i love you back and me me feel unapreciated his excuse always was "remember you're my first gf I don't have relationship experiance" then one day she came back from who knows where and they desided to hang out (not alone but with a group of friends)i didnt know this. He would just ignore my txt messages and calls so i was worried and asked his friend and thats when he told me they were together. I desided I couldn't take this anymore and i told him i needed time and then he asked "you're breaking up with me?" i was really stupid and i changed my mind And i said no and i told him what was wrong but then he said that he needs a break and broke up with me I begged him not to leave me for 4 days and he desided to give us another chance.. Months later everything was perfect but then he broke up with me because a guy posted a perverted wallpost on my facebook wall (i didnt even see it before he broke up with me) insted of telling him to backoff or somthing he leaves me. I blocked the guy and tried explaining what happened to him but he didn't listen. we tried being friends but then i told him to give us one last chance he agreed to it but it felt like i was forcing him to be with me sense he told me he didn't think we were going to work out and he was never sweet even though I tried everything to make him love me. I gave up and told him it took me a long time to understand but now I know he doesn't want me and I broke up with him. Then one day I found this amazing guy that treats me like a princess but we were just friends. After about 3 months he tells me he still loves me blah blah blah and that he never stoped loving me and he was soo sweet but by this time I was already over him and I told him I liked someone else already but he insisted that he still loved me. I ended up getting with the guy and now hes mad at me for getting with another guy and doesnt want anything to do with me.
I wish him luck and Im glad I found someone who treats me right.

Skyla

February 09, 2012 @ (miami)

Tags: example1

I met him in 7th grade. We were friends, then 8th grade came around, and we got together. We were together for 2 1/2 years when we ended. He cheated on me with another girl. He had hickeys on his neck. I was so...broken. He was my first love, my first everything, and I was so in love with him. People may say that at my age, we still don't know what love is, but, I do. I gave 2 1/2 years of my life and spent it with him. We had so many good times, but also, so many bad. He was always mean to me, calling me names, ignoring me when I was upset, and cheating on me. Hes always cheated on me since day 1. But everytime we broke up, I blamed myself. I never felt good enough for him, and I felt like maybe if I changed the way I was, he'd like me more and he'd start treating me better. But last week, he cheated again. I broke up with him, and it hasn't been easy for me. I love him so much, and I just want to know what I ever did to deserve this, why I was never enough. I want to be loved back, and appreciated. He haws new girlfriend now, and its tearing me apart. I'm so.hurt in all of this, and he doesn't care. I don't know how I'm going to get over this. And I wanna know why I want someone who doesn't want me. Its hard spending that long with someone, and then not having them at all. :/

Samantha

January 27, 2012 @ (KaraChi)

Tags: Confused12

Okay so me nd him were together for about a year at first he was very sweet caring and all but now i just dont feel the same and i dont know how i feel about him anymore so i broke up with him and he said when did i ask u to stay in a relationship with me i was sooo shocked because in every fight we had he acted very desperate ut i beleive that he was only keeping his respect well any ways i didnt tell any of my friends about this and now when i did tell them all of them are going against me and say u broke the poor boy's heart and they say that he still loves u and they also want a reason for me breaking up with him and they say that im just a flirt and their trying to change my mind but i will not!!!!what i want to do is ask him if he still loves me but i dont know how to.. Can someone please help me

Jessica

January 24, 2012 @ (California)

Tags: Example1, example2

We had been involved for close to 5 years. For close to a year we were long distance due to his work. He was in process of moving back to my city and we were planning a future together. We had a romantic getaway to Napa and he was going to move in with me. That all changed with one phone call. It was from a woman who saw out emails, texts and phone call records. The first words out of her mouth were "I thought you were out of the picture already. He's been with me for awhile now and he's not going anywhere. He's mine." We talked for awhile and it was obvious he had women in 2 cities. I immediately called him and asked him to call me back. Later that night I got a text message that read "I met someone else and I want to start planning a future with her. Please don't contact me any more."

I was stunned. I couldn't leave well enough alone and sent him a text that night and l also called. I had a key to his storage unit, expensive designer clothes in my closet and custom sporting equipment in my garage. The next day he called to ask if I could send his things. We had a heated exchange. He never once apologized for his deceitful actions. I told him he'd have to come get his things if he wanted them. I later followed up by email and text to note he had 72 hours to schedule time with me to get them or else he could bid on it on EBay.

72 hours came and went. No response so I proceeded to sell his mountain bike, surfboard, snowboard, skis and ski boots on Craigslist. I also packed up his clothes and took them to goodwill. I then posted an ad for all the furniture and electronics in the storage unit. I sent the key to the storage unit and a goodwill receipt to his p.o. Box along with a note. I then changed my phone number so he couldn't call me. Weeks later I got a scathing email stating that he had tried to call and demanding to know what I had done with his things. I told him I sold and donated everything. He was livid and accused me of being spiteful and vindictive. We exchanged another war of words over email and then I blocked him from emailing me. I wish I could've been a fly on the wall when he went to the storage unit and found his stereo and TV gone. I'm sure somewhere in the ether is a scathing message that I never have to see since I blocked him. It's been tough bouncing back but I would rather be alone than have spent my life with someone like that.

Heartbroken Girl

January 15, 2012 @ (Austria)

Tags: Heartbreak, breakup

Well, here's my story..
About 2 weeks ago, my boyfriend broke up with me. To be honest, he has been breaking up with me for the past 2 years. Basically, the first year was more than just perfect. It was more I thought possible! I loved him so much, I would have done anything for me and I knew he felt the same way about me.

So after a year, he broke up with me for the first time. I probably did the worst thing possible after that: I begged him to stay with me and tried to convince him for an hour to give us another chance - which he did eventually.
The weird thing was, that in those next few days, he would be everything I wanted. Kind, sweet, caring, telling me how much he loved me and that he couldn't imagine living a life without me.

This lasted for about 2 months when he broke up with me again. I didn't beg him to stay with me anymore, but after some days he came back, telling me how sorry he was and that he badly wanted us to be together again - I went back.
You see the pattern there, I guess..

So, that's how it would be: breakin up, getting back together, being completely in love again, breaking up..
After 2 years, I wasn't myself anymore. My life revolved around him, he was the center of my universe and that's when I completely lost myself.. I was trying to be the perfect girlfriend, to never make him angry, to always do what he wanted me to do, but it didn't matter. No matter what I did, he would still breake up with me after telling me the day before that I was everything he wanted.

I was confused, devastated, hurt. So, about half a year ago, after one of his breakups I knew, I couldn't take it anymore. I even had to get professional help and take antidepressants to get through the day. It was the hardest time of my life and there were times, were I didn't just want to die (which I did daily), but when I thought I actually would because of the pain.
The only thing that helped me was knowing that he didn't have anyone else and I tried to tell myself he would come back eventually. After some time, I even thought, I had found myself again and I didn't need him anymore.

So, 3 months ago, he texted me, saying how much he wanted me and another chance with me. When he came over, I knew I never stopped loving him, but at least I was able to keep control of myself. He noticed of course, that I had changed and he was everything I always wanted him to be. He even was full of doubts, saying how scared he was, that I wouldn't want him anymore and that he was so sorry for what he had done and that he had the feeling that everything was better now.
I really thought, he had a wakeup call and that he finally knew, he didn't want to be without me. Everytime I went out with my friends, he was so scared that I would meet someone else that I even felt sorry for him, because I really didn't want him to feel bad. So I would always say the sweetest things, when he called or texted me, because I wanted his doubts to go away - while I was out, supposed to be having fun. I liked doing it though, because it showed me, he cared!

We didn't see each other that often during the last 3 months, because we both had a lot of work to do and we wanted to take things slow. We didn't spend christmas and new year's eve together because he was visiting his family. I really missed him and he also always said how much he was looking forward to seeing me again. I believed him.
On new year's eve, while I was out celebrating, he kept texting me, calling me, saying that he was so scared I would do anything stupid and that he wanted to remind me how happy he was to be seeing me the next day.

So, when he came to visit me, he was kind and sweet and he stayed over. The next day, after sleeping with me once more of course, he broke up with me.. For the last time now, because a few days ago I found out he was already in a relationship with another woman..
After ONE week..

How come, I am so easy to forget? That he's living his life with someone else, happy, while I don't even know how to get up in the morning?
Everyone keeps telling me, that I would get over him eventually and that I'm oh so young (20) so of course I would fall in love again - and maybe they are right!

But... I know that there are people out there, never able to let go, who always find themselves hurt and miserable again, everytime they see that person.
I don't want to end up like that, I don't, but what if I'm one of those people? What if everytime I'm going to see him alone or with his new girlfriend, my hearts just breaks all over again?
How do I know that I'll be able to let go?

It felt good to get this of my chest..
With all my love,

a heartbroken girl

Anon

January 08, 2012 @ (USA )

Tags: Cheating, first love,

We started dating my freshmen year of high school. I thot he was so cute but my friend was talking with him. I was very jealous and I eventually told him I liked him an he admitted he was only talking to my friend to get closer to me. He was 16, popular, and everyone loved him. A few days after us talking I gave him my virginity and he told me he loved me. I told him so did I. We had sex again 2 days later and he asked me to be his girlfriend. Of course I said yes! Our relationship was so playful, we were best friends and lovers at the same time. We were very passionate to be so young but nothing could separate us. About a month into our relationship I started hearing things about him cheating on me, I was devastated. I demanded he give me his Facebook password as I was out of town at the time and couldn't look through his fone or anything. And to my astonishment he had msgd girls on there then thought he had deleted the msgs but I found all of them. I forgave him tho after a big fight and many tears cause in fact I loved him and he was my first. A few months later down the road I had still found out he had cheated on me random times by making out with other girls and I heard he had sex with two of his older brothers girlfriends but it was never proven so I still don't know if that was true. But me and him were closer than anyone . I had given him everything Nd totally devoted my life to him. He seemed to truleylove me he just had commitment problems as his dad had cheated on his mom, it ran in the family. He proposed to me (silly I know, we were so young, but at this time he was 17) I said yes and we just kept it to ourselves and only told close friends. Around the time we had been dating for 6 months I had a pregnancy scare and had to take the plan B pill. This shook things up and made us think about if we really wanted to be together forever. We decided we did and our relationship just got stronger. We had dropped nearly all our friends and it was always me and him. He still continued to cheat wich really really killed me but I pretended to believe him when he denied it and promised he would never do that to me again like he did before so I didn't lose him. Nearing our 8th month together I went to California for a couple of weeks to visit relatives and go to the beach. We talked constantly when I was fone and it hurt us to be away from each other so long . He would call me every night and cry and tell me how much he loved andissed me and that he wanted us to try and have a baby when I got back, I thought about it and considered Then changed my mind. I wanted to wait. He reluctantly agreed and when I got back in town we were together 24/7 . I was looking thru his fine and found pictures on his email of naked girls and he had sent them pictures of his dick!! I was so angry I screamed and said it was the last time I would deal with this and I was done with him and we were Ina parking lot and causing such a scene the cops got called. We were told to leave and I made him drive me home and he did and the breakup was long and drawn out and he cried for hours every night and begged me to stay and threatened to kill himself, he ran away and then came back and started hanging out with this girl about 3 weeks from our breakup. I was glad he was finally moving on since I couldn't deal with his drama. They started datin and now 6 mOnths from our breakup she is pregnant and they are engaged. I still have a special place in my heart for him but I have moved on completely. I am now dying an amazing guy and have been for about a month, not a very long time but I have a connection with him and am very happy. Sometimes it's best to move on from first loves cause they may not have been right and he cheated and hurt me way to much. I have trust problems thanks to him but what I went thru with him made me strong Nd made me who I am today so I am thankful for it.

Paul

December 20, 2011 @ (US)

Tags: army break up

Heres a little backround first; Well I started dating this girl April first, a year ago.. This being my senior year in high school, we did about everything together.. Homecoming, prom, etc.... I gave up so much for this girl. I lost so many friends to just be with this girl. I could honestly say this was my first love, and my longest relationship so far... Since mom ey is tight with my family, I thought the best solution for me to go to college was enlist with the Army..heres where my story begins....
I had to head off to boot August 2nd.. To fort benning, for infantry training, right before I left my family and her went out to dinner and such, really had a nice time.. Everything was perfect between us, gave her a final kiss good bye, and off I went..
So basic started I wrote this girl, every single day for nine Weeks... She wrote me twice, toward thr beginning, everything seemed okay, she said she missed and loved me etc..then she just stopped. I kept writing, and wondering whats going on.. At week 9 we got our 36 hour pass. I call her up and she literally was just like "oh hey" in thr most unenthusiastic voice ever, I was so excited to talk to her, she was all that was on my mind for Weeks... And she didnt even care.... We ended up fighting over it.. I was pretty unhappy about it. I expected a bigger reaction I guess..
I ended up breaking my leg and sent home for con leave, comes to find out shes been seeing another dude, she changed her status to single on fb and starts hittin up all these guys... After all this, I still wanted to try and make it work. She acts like im the bad guy, and I deserve this... I just dont get, after dating for a year and a half, I couldn't even get a letter saying "f you, im done" or anything... She just left me in the cold..I still think about her to this day. I've been miserable since she left me, no girl has made me feel the way she did.

Shitfacegurl

December 13, 2011 @ (Sweden)

Tags: broke relationship, miss, him

It all started at the end of 9th grade, when I was 15 years old, he was in my french class but i never noticed him much, until he added me on facebook and there it all began! We talked for hours and hours 2 hours went to 5-6 hours, but I never dared talking to him in person, because I was to shy. After we graduated from ninth grade, we still kept in touch and we had our first date in July that summer and, already that night he asked if I wanted to be his girlfriend but I said I didn't wanted that yet, and later on after 2 weeks at our second date,i was childish and when he told me his hands were cold and i told him " I know what you're up to" and i held his hand and i told him so are we together now, and since 23-11-10 , we became a couple. We kept it a secret and everything was perfect! Then after 3 months I admitted that I wasn't that in to him from the beginning, I've realized today, that i should never do something before i give it a further thought. And he broke up with me and I tried to convince him to get back together, but he said he didn't trusted me, but we got back together. And then 3 months further he broke up again because he felt I treated him badly, like a bitch and stuff but then again I convinced to get back together and we did. I never realized my mistakes,before its to late! Then since then its been an down hill roller coaster. I did the most dumbest thing ever on our 1st year anniversary, i broke up with him, because he avoided me for a whole week and we fought. It was another mistake. A day later we talked and we got back together again, then 2 months later we fought, and his best friend told me to call my boyfriend and talk about it, but it ended badly and we broke up over the phone, and then we got back again and 2 months ahead, which is by today, we had an argument a week ago and he told me our sex is bad and he was sick of the relationship and we broke up and got back together at the same time, and now its been 5 days since he broke up with me again because I've been grumpy, and bitchy whenever he mentions something i dislike. We didn't talked for 2 days and then he texted me and we argued even more and few hours later he texted back he missed me and i missed him to ofc! And we had a stable conversation and decided to be single and figure things out, but the next day i already asked him if he had decided,what we should do and he told me ladies first, and I've been thinking of it, and I told me it would be better being single, since I've hurt him many times and I was scared and his respond, was just lot of mean,harsh,hurtful words and he said i should give him back all his presents, and that would be a sign its over. But I never handed them over, I still wear the necklace he gave me.
It has been 5 days now, and im going crazy, we have so much in-common and have this good communication with each other, we could text and talk for 12 hours or the whole day exactly, without getting sick of each other.
He has been special to me, since the first time I meet him, I wanted to get to know him, since the day we became a couple, I've changed, i know I'm only 17 now but i love him so much, he was really good to me, he was there whenever i needed him and just stood out with whatever emotion i had, and spoiled me even though i never asked him for much, and he was a gentlemen, except when we argued, he would turn into a huge jerk. Despite all that we've been through, i didn't understood him well before, after all we've been trough over a year now and 4 months, we've handled many things together, and i've supported him with everything we did, even woke up at 5 am and surprised him at the train station just coz i missed him so much <3. Its hard breaking up, i miss him and ive been crying ever since, and i cant even eat properly or even concentrate on things, he is always on my mind. It feels like I've lost him forever, but I still want to hear from him in a few days.

Ha

December 04, 2011 @ (london)

Tags: propose, four years

we had been dating for four years, 3.5 years into it, we went into long distance. he moved to london. on valentines day he flew in to see me- halfway across the world- and proposed, it was so beautiful and it was the best day of my life, i had been waiting for this for a long time.
we didnt announce the engagement as i wanted to ease my family into it...complicated story....cultural/religious backgrounds are different
for some STUPID reason, i started to panic in april...i was so afraid of EVERYTHING, the huge change, the move to london, resigning from my job....everything became a huge worry, i guess i got cold feet. i withdrew from him, and he broke up with me (3 months before my move to london). he refuses to talk to me or try to work it out. when i arrived in london, i thought there was hope to reconcile, i messaged him to tell him i will be in town the next day...he posts on his facebook "in a relationship with XYZ". his status never even went to single! now...6 months later...they are still together...i am devestated...i cant see that what i did was so terrible....and he wont give me closure...he just cut me out of his life, just like that, 4 years...and im in london, alone, for him...left everything....job, friends, family...to be with this guy who wont forgive a nervous breakdown!? did he ever even really love me? why the hell would he propose!?i apologized so many times, i just needed strength and he didnt support me through it....i feel abandonded, i feel like i cant move on...he made me so happy and i miss him everyday...living this dream without him is especially difficult...i would do anything to have him back in my life.