Tags: bad break up, young love, sweet, cute, douche bag, depression, anxiety, high school, sad, ugh
Oh my gosh . My ex boyfriend is a douche bag. I swear .. I was never over him.. but he caused so much pain, and I really tried to .. BUT NOW HE WANTS TO GET BACK TOGETHER . I'VE HEARD RUMORS FROM MY FRIEND ALEX (who is also his best friend) BUT I DIDN'T BELIEVE IT. But now he's smiling at me with those beautiful teeth .. talking to me and luring me in with that voice.. the voice that's like honey and just makes me melt everytime I hear it. He changed me. I wasn't always depressed, even if my life wasn't all that great .. after my parents finalized the divorce, there wasn't much to look forward to. But he was there for me. He was always my shoulder to cry on. Ever since 7th grade . UGH, MIDDLE SCHOOL. I thought middle school was hard; but compared to high school, it was a party.. my emotions are just everywhere.. but yea, the point is, he ended up breaking me in the end. I knew it wasn't gonna last. Of COURSE I knew. But something at the back of my mind just wished it wasn't. And I guess I just couldn't accept the cruel reality that it was over. All those movie dates . All the times he'd put his arms around me.. and that smile- it was directed towards me and me only and I used to literally feel as if we were the only two people in the world. That strawberry blonde/brownish hair .. haha.. the long paragraphs he would send me in the morning about how beautiful he thought I was.. those times in third period where we laughed, he would flip his hair, start strumming that bass guitar of his while the strings teacher would yell at me about dropping my violin and then having to tune it all over again. We lived to make her annoyed omg , but I just miss it . I miss everything. I miss him. I miss not being lonely.
That time on the ferris wheel at the state fair with terry and alex? When we kissed and said 'I love you' for the 80th time?
I miss us.
The truth is, I was never over it. I miss running my fingers through his hair.
I just dont wanna be lonely.
I poured my heart out to him and he took advantage of me.
I miss that fairytale feeling.
But I guess all fairytales have to end. Just ask Troy. He had no problem ending mine.
And now he just wants to walk back into my life again? After all the pain that he's caused? Like nothing's happened? I just can't.
The thing that makes me hate myself the most? Everytime he glances at me, I still get butterflies. When I see him laugh in the hallways, my heard starts pounding inexpilcably fast. And the last and most horrifying thing? I was tempted. I was actually tempted to say yes.
Tags: young love, sad, bipolar, jerk, young, bad break up, boys, guys, high school
I told him everything. I made myself completly vulnerable.. and I regret that. I really do. I already knew it wouldn't last forever, it never does, especially when you're so young. That feeling just.. wore off. He used to type a long paragraph just about how gorgeous he thinks I am but that slowly resolved to one word replies.. And remember that girlfriend? Yea, that came back to bite me in the butt. She started all this drama, constantly texting
Tags: douche, bad breakup, young love, love, like, sad, depression, boys, guys, girls, jerk, douchebag
Well, this guy and I started dating last summer. I've known him for such a long time (since elementary school maybe) and we were just like best friends. At first.. I thought it'd all turn out fine. There was still that shimmer of doubt but my heart blinded me to the point where I was convinced that we were unbreakable.
I remember when we used to pull all nighters on the phone and my dad would be SO mad because I didn't sleep at all that night and didn't want to get up in the morning.. The thing was, he had a girlfriend. He dumped her for me. Of course, I felt really guilty, but, I really liked him and the truth is, I was very flattered because I didn't think anyone would ever do that for me. He was literally my everything. I adored him in every way possible. He was so funny; he'd always make me laugh and I could have sworn we were made for each other. All my friends LOVED him, his personality is literally the best.. he's sensitive
Tags: bad breakup, heartbroken, perplexed, sad, tears, crying
I dated my last boyfriend for a year and a half. We met in a waiting room where we waited for our kids a couple times a week. We had so much in common and hit it off immediately. We went on wkend adventures and had a blast. After only a few months he told me he was in love with me. He said he wanted to tell me earlier, but he was afraid to. I was so charmed by him. His ex wife was a bit crazy and they fought over their kid all the time. His ex was mad that I had dinner with him and the kid and yelled at him that they agreed to wait until dating someone 6 months before they spent time with the kid. (Which of course, she did not follow). So he then has us wait 8 months before I can spend time with him and the kid together. When he finally decides it's okay, we all spend LOTS of time together and he and I spend all our child free weekends together. He tells me I am "the one", "It's meant to be", that he has never been so happy, he is so in love, etc. He texts daily, writes me a poem, declares his love all the time. In person he is affectionate and kind. We discuss buying land together and aspects of our home we will have. We plan a vacation together with our kids. We go on the trip and everyone has a lot of fun. He gets in some arguments with his kid related to her mother, but otherwise everything was fine. When we get home he tells me thanks for the awesome vacation and a text that says "I love you so so so so much, now more than ever".
Fast forward one month after vacation. He breaks up with me in an email!!
He says that some things have occured to him and that he could not live with me and so what is the point and goodbye.
I am shocked and ask to meet with him. He says yes, but then never does. He won't answer his phone. His kid calls me one day to say how much she misses me and that she is afraid that I don't like her anymore because of her dad. I assure her that is not true, but I have no idea what her father told her because he will not talk to me. He texts me the next day and says that telling his daughter anything other than "it didn't work out" is inappropriate!! and to lose her number!! As if I called her!! ???
Two months after the breakup he sends me another email saying that he is sorry, but not asking for forgiveness. ?
Then he proceeds to tell me the 3 kinds of love in the world, one for your kids, one for your sister/mother and then the kind you can't breathe without the person....and that I fall into the sister/mother category for him. After all those months of love declarations and of course lots of sex, I fall into the mother/sister category??? WTF?
I have no tears left for this freak and have moved on. Thank goodness.
Tags: Crush, first, kiss, bad, relationship, teenagers, dumb, love
I have had a crush on this girl sinse the first grade, it started off as us hating each other but it was one of those cute kid cover up things. In middle school there were other girls I hooked up with, other girl friends, so I forgot about this girl for a long time. After dealing with a fair amount of drama with other girls, I started to have feeling for this girl again, this is by the time puberty has hit us both and she became more than just the girl I liked, she became beautiful, so other guys started hitting on her too. Around this time me and he started getting flirty, this lasted for a while until I asked her out, but she said no because she felt like we were too close as friends and she didn't want to loose me. So I was heart broken or whatever but I bounced back and everything was fine between us. We texted all summer and saw each other a few times, it almost felt like we were together, but we weren't. I got over her and started focusing on my studies so for a while all I did was study and party, everything was going fine, I was happy. Then my best female friend told me that she and my old crush were talking and that she found out that she kind of liked me but was going to wait for me to ask her out. So I waited, partied more, and eventually got around to asking her out, again, and she said yes. That marked the start of our month line awkward excuse of a relationship. I was her first boyfriend, and her first kiss, which she was extremely nervous for, so once we kissed I thought everything would turn around and that she would loose her shyness, the thing ruining our relationship. I didn't work, she and her friend started fighting and their fight was affecting out relationship. Spring break rolled around and I had only kissed her one day, on several occasions though, infact we made out. I was planning to hang out with her during spring break but she was out of town the whole time. The last weekend of spring break I was so exited to see her the following Monday. When I go to school I found out that her fight with her friend had gotten worse, they would even look a each other. That day I decided that I Was going to talk to her and either figure out why everything was going the way it was going or break up with her. Before I could do it I checked with my female friend and she had told me that my girlfriend had told her that she wasnt ready for a telationship and that she wanted it to end but she was to nervousness and shy to do it herself, so knowing that I ended it. I felt awful, I picked up smoking again that night and sat on my roof singing sad songs, what a movie cliche. Later people started saying that she just used me to get a first kiss and I was devastated because I thought she liked me. In a spiral of sadness I started smoking too much weed to feel happy again, which was fun while it lasted but now I'm broke. So I've been a sad, bitter, broke, lonely wreck. She seems like she moved on immediately, she's happy, and never regarded it, but I still feel empty inside because I don't know how to be happy again like I was before we got together. She said maybe she would be open to trying a relationship with me again next year but I can't hold on that long, even though I'm afraid I will and this silent sufference will last until then. Sigh... Where some weed when I need it.
Tags: friendship
I met him in college. We had been through a lot with our exes but found someway to be there for each other. Our friendship started off innocent, we had no intention of being together, although i suspected we were both attracted to one another. But we were the best of friends, we spent every day together, talking, exploring, studying, struggling to eat on a broke college student's budget. He was my best friend and I could tell him any and everything. However things changed, one day when I was getting ready to head home for my sister's graduation he and I went to hang out and unexpectedly admitted our feelings for each other. I was so happy that day, i felt like flying. He told me he could imagine us being together in the future. So I went back to my hometown that night not knowing what was to happen between us but I was pleased and he was too. We gave each other butterflies and everything felt so new and fresh between us. I was in love with my best friend.
We never decided to be together, it would be too complicated for us to place a title on our feelings, he and I had just gotten out of our own relationships and thought it would be easier to hold off being together "officially" and just enjoy one another.
We experimented sexually and had a spiritual connection like no other. We had each other's back and spent every day together
But as time progressed, it became difficult for me to be stuck in uncertainty about where our relationship was headed. I began to feel insecure and jealous sometimes, in which I acknowledged and tried to solve by seeing the love in everything and everyone around us. I did not tell him about my jealousies and insecurities, because I knew those feelings were reflection of myself and my fears. However, he began to change... began pushing me away and becoming insensitive to how some of the things he did and said made me feel uncomfortable. I became sad all of the time and would cry and feel hurt.
Then one day we had a talk, I told him how I was feeling and he told me he had feelings for someone else. He was being 100% honest with me (which is a habit of ours) and also said that he did not want to go farther than just having a crush on another girl because he loved me.
Nevertheless, as the semester began to sweep me away to travelling around for work and school and family, he began to hang around the other girl more frequently in my absence. Then he told me that he told her about his feelings for him and she returned those feelings.
So I had enough. I broke things off with him, i told him that we should just be friends... I cant take feeling like this anymore. Regardless of how much we love each other. Its been an emotional roller coaster and I can't deal with it. I wish him joy and happiness and love and I hope he can figure out what he wants. Although thinking about this still makes my heart constrict and tears flood my eyes, i am moving forward. <3
Tags: ?
My boyfriend of 1 year broke up with me and I am devastated . This was my first relationship and I feel an immense heartache. I feel I'm to blame because of my anger and distrust when he didn't give me a reason to. People say he'll come back but I highly doubt it. It hurts everyday and its barely been a week. I know he wants nothing to do with me. I feel like this feeling will never go away. Everything reminds me of him. I still love him. If he loved me, where did that love go? Or was it never love. If I could turn back time I would because I'm filled with regret, sadness and regret. What hurts more is he's already moving on. Love sucks.
Tags: not understanding, sadness.
I figure typing this out would probably do good for my heart, so I have decided to tell you all about my quite recent (only a few hours ago but still had enough time to linger in my head) breakup.
This boy was literally my childhood friend. Bad idea, I know, but I digress. He meant the world to me as a kid, and we just recently re-met each other after not speaking for years. The chemistry was sorta ... instant.
However, obviously, it didn't last.
We spent the few days we were together talking, and talking, and talking. I actually felt like he really cared about me. Just the mentioning of his name made me smile and blush.
He and I had so much in common, we still do. Our religious beliefs, music, art..
I thought I had really made it good, that for once, someone would stay with me.
Obviously that couldn't happen.
I get a text late into the night - and it said it was him, and that he wanted to end our relationship because he "wasn't ready for one." Me, usually reacting quite the opposite of how I normally would've, take the passive approach toward him, saying "I'm fine, I understand."
I later on then cried, and cried, and then something quite stupid. Cut myself. I couldn't sleep, due to the pain in my legs (one of the places I had decided to cut,) and my little depression I had going on.
So to any girl, or boy, or whomever is going through a breakup, don't get to down. We're just one step closer to finding our one ticket to happiness.
Regardless as to however they broke up with you, it happened for a reason. Heck, you never know, you could end up with them again in the future.
You just gotta wait it out and roll your dice.
~Kali
Tags: break up, long distance
We were never really official but this feels like a break up to me. We met in November. He was a military guy, no car, was leaving in a couple months. So at first we kept it casual. When he left on holiday leave we were both expecting him to return--he never did. Even though it was just a fling, it felt so unfinished. We'd text almost every day. At one point he said he missed me, and so I brought up the possibility of an LDR. We talked about the cost and how often we'd get to see one another, but in the end he said he hated LDRs, which I interpreted as a no. Yet we kept in touch, and I wanted to see him so badly. I wanted it more than I have wanted anything, I was so sprung on this guy. So I flew out to visit him last week. But I felt like he kept holding back, which in turn made me nervous. I froze up, and the entire week was a mix of silence and awkwardness. There were moments where we'd liven up, and we were only able to soften up physically--not just sex, but touches, caresses, neck rubs. The physical connection wasn't as crazy raw as I remembered it being, but we were still good together. It was still hot. However, I think my quietness got to him, and by the end of the week we were both exhausted. I could tell that he had run out of patience, and I had tired myself out by silently worrying and wondering and panicking. By the time I left we just waved goodbye. No hug, no kiss, not even a handshake.
On one hand, while I was out there I was noticing things about him that I didn't see before, and I would think to myself, "Hmm... no, I don't think we'd work as a couple." I know that we wouldn't. We have the same interests, and we're physically compatible. We're both thoughtful and affectionate. But intellectually, we don't really connect. Maybe I'm a little too independent for him? I don't know. We have different values. I actually found him to be kind of boring most of the time. He probably thought the same of me. I don't think we're actually boring people, but we tend mute each other out for some reason. But even with all that, it was one of the hardest break-ups I've had. Maybe because I was so invested in the dream of him, in the possibility, in the romantic star-crossed-lovers feel of the whole situation. That and my ego is kind of bruised. I was in love with his body, that's for sure.
I wanted it to be him, you know? I wanted him to tell me he wanted to work something out. I wanted to move clear across the country for him. I loved it out there and would love the adventure of it all, but I'm not going to lie that having him out there with me was the top reason I wanted to move. I wouldn't be alone. I have family and friends out there, so it wouldn't have been JUST for him. I guess I could still move if I wanted to, even if we never spoke again...
I hate that I get moody and distant when emotion overwhelms me. I shut off, and in those times it's nearly impossible for me to communicate how I'm feeling. When I panicked, I would push him away. That's one of the things I regret the most. I wasn't at my best, as hard as I tried. I feel... not good enough. Disheartened. The day he dropped me at the airport I still had a 2 hour wait, on top of a 6 hour flight. And I was fighting back tears the whole time. And I still have my spells of utter sadness.
In my heart, I know it's for the best. I know that I'll get over it, like I always do. I know that in time I'll look back and be able to see that it was a fun experience, and I'll be able to see how much I learned from it all. But right now, in the thick of it, it's a struggle to get through the day. I just want to go home and curl up and cry. But I have to work, and go to class, and be mature. And I don't want to annoy my friends and family by ranting and venting all the time, so I came here... It kind of helps, sharing this with strangers. So thanks.
Tags: Love Betrayal
This is almost a two year long story. I have a short 25 minute video that will be attached to this video. I met a girl that I was there for right off the bat when her mom was having more time f***ing this guy than taking care of her daughter. She moved in with in with me, but soon I would learn the truth to her. She was abusive, and didn't do anything. She had very bad hygiene problems that would lead to her yeast infection and multiple UTI's. She watched pedophile porn which made me absolutely sick. The girl walked out on me when I needed her, and we would eventually break up. She would play mind games with me back and forth for a while. Then in the end she finally told me that I was just a comforter, that I never mattered, and to go kill myself. Sadly I'm cursed with this feeling because she was my first everything. The video below will give a better insight.
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