Searching for "much"

400 Results For 'much'

Naomi

May 05, 2012 @ (New Jersey)

Tags: i am so sorry, i miss you, you are not the one, you deserve better

I have known Hector for all of my high school years, we were really close and we had a blast together. In our senior year we decided to date. It was fun, he was funny, romantic, sweet but I always felt that is wasn't right. We then dated for almost a year and a half, now we were both in seperate colleges. He said I was his soulmate and he loved me so much, but during our whole relationship I was distant romantically but we still had fun together. Then I put more thought in it and I realized he loved me more than I loved him. I loved him but not in the "right way", I cared of him but really I wanted my best friend back without the romantic stuff. I decided he deserved better in love, someone who could reciprocate his feelings. He did everything right but I just never truly loved him. I wasnt ready to love him, and the day I broke up with him I cried; he cried and begged for me back. I know I am doing this so he can get the best out of life, I realized I could no longer be selfish and reap the benefits of being in a relationship when I didnt love him. So now as I write this, I am getting ready to visit him; it is a couple weeks after our break up, and I need to return some of his stuff and I dont know what is going to happen. No matter how much fun we had I could no longer go back to him. I am actually really childish but this is the maturest decision I think I have ever made but it just feels so hard. I lost my best friend, I will no longer hear about his life and it is really hard. But I know someone will love him completely and eternally. But in the back of my head I dont think I would find someone who loves me as much....

Bob David

May 03, 2012 @ (san diego)

Tags: Acceptance

We met when I was 21 and she was just turning 18, a little over 5 years ago. There was instant attraction and our relationship advanced quickly. I knew deep down that neither of us were mature enough to be in a long term committed relationship, but we stuck together anyways. There were a lot of good times, fun memories, amazing sex and we were always there for eachother through the ups and downs. About two years into the relationship there were multiple infadelities-- she started sleeping with one of my good friends behind my back and I had slept around with more than 1 girl. Despite this huge blow to our trust and relationship, we stuck together after we came clean with each other on what we had done. In hindsight I know that we stuck together because we were attached and had some form of needyness with each other. I feel weak to admit that, but I honestly just felt attached and couldn't let her go despite the fact that we had both hurt each other severely and that we deserved better. I knew in my heart at the time that I should have let her go, but my impulsive needyness forced me to hold on to a relationship that had become toxic. Since then we tried to rebuild the foundation of trust in our relationship, but we were fighting an uphill battle and there was just too much insecurity and distrust towards eachother. A year and a half ago we moved in together, which was a big mistake. Things were ok on the surface, but deep down we both felt disconnected and unhappy with the relationship. Along the way we became very short tempered and irritated with eachother. She would yell and call me names, I would yell back and say hurtful things-- stuff you just don't do when you say that you love someone. I knew in my heart for a long time it was not right and that I needed to let go, but I just didn't have the courage to part company with her. I feel ashamed for having held on to something that I knew was not right for me. We broke up about 5 weeks ago after she did not come home one night. She told me she went out to party with her friends and stayed with a female co-worker, but my intuition told me otherwise. We both agreed that we were not right together and both needed to stand on our own two feet. We were together for 5 and a half years and although I know that it was not the right relationship for me I still feel a deep sense of loss an emotional pain. Despite having hurt eachother I had considered her my best friend-- we did everything together and wanted desperately to make things work. I have been trying so hard for the last 5 weeks to look at the reality of the relationship, but my mind keeps wanting to tell me that we could have made it work or that I should have been a better man. The fact is I was immature and acted with the level of maturity and awareness that I had at the time-- I think it's fair to say that she did too. I keep beating myself up over what I could have done differently and all the what if's, but it has only held me back from letting go and moving on. I am trying so hard to accept that it's over, but still find myself hoping for reconciliation in the future-- hope that is eating me up inside. I know that we both deserve better and that it cannot work. I am not one to share my personal story on an online forum such as this, but I started reading a book the other day that suggested I post about the breakup on this website. It has been helpful typing this story up and putting things into perspective. I think it's important that I look at my past relationship logically rather than feed off of my emotions. Anyways, I know my story probably sounds crazy or like I am a bad guy for having cheated, but I would appreciate any feedback. I am now 26 and have come to so many realizations in reflecting on the relationship. I really want to better myself and become the best man that I can be not only for myself, but so that I can have a healthy, loving relationship in the future. Most importantly I want to love myself so I never put myself in a toxic relationship again where I think that I don't deserve better. Anyways, stay strong to everyone that is going through similar heart break or emotional pain. Everyone keeps telling me it will pass-- I just hope that it does sooner than later!

Payuyi

April 19, 2012 @ (new york)

Tags: sad

We were eachothers first love, everything was soo perfect untill one day when we got in a fight because he said he was going on a date with a girl, of course i got mad and told him not to talk to me anymore then he told me that i was going to be that date and i apologized but i guess it was too late by now he told me that it was best if we broke up because i jump to conclusions and the distance. The next day we got back together but then for a month and about 2 weeks things werent the same anymore we were on and off, i kept leaving him because he wasnt sweet and i just felt unapreciated all the time but my love for him was so strong that i kept beggin him to come back and he did but each time it was getting harder and harder. I did tell him how he made me feel and he said he was 'trying' but it didnt feel like it.
He really hates my Bff and one day when i was feeling really bad and unapreciated i told my bestfriend to say he was in love with me, he got mad and started hating him even more, at first i was a little happy knowing he cared, thats all i ever wanted him to care for me and love me as much as i love him.
One day after our last breakup we were talking and then i got confused with somthing he said and i thought he said my bff told him everything, *by this time me and my bff got in a fight so i thought he was trying to get back at me* so i explained to him y i told my bff to say that , i told him i just wanted him to care but he just got really mad and acted like he hated me, i know that was a really bad idea and i regret doing that.. he told me to hurt my bff and i said ok i was *i wasnt tho* and i told him how i felt, that i loved him and that i just want him to be sweet again but all he kept saying was 'ok' to my long messages.. he has my fB info and he read a conversation with another friend where i said me and my bff made up, he sent me a message telling me he never felt this used before and that i lied to him all the times when i said i loved him.
i told him he had no right to get upset becasue he wanted me to screw off and that i did love him
thn i told him that i was really sorry and that i was always gonna love him and that i was gonna leave him alone now.
Well i ended my friendship with my bff cuz i knew that was wat he wanted even tho it wasnt gonna change anything between us, i havent been on fB at all in 2 weeks.. ive been trying to get over him thats why i havent been on but part of me says maybe he realized how important you are to him this time you were gone. Im really scared of loggin in Fb because wat if he already has another girl i dnt wanna see that and get hurt and wat if when i log in i find a message saying he wants me back and now everything will change to the way it was , wat if all we needed was a lil break
idk im just stuck i have hope that everything will go back to how it was before but at the same time im scared of finding out somthing i dnt wanna know
*i dnt have him as a friend on fb anymore but i cn still see his picture cuz he was the last message*
i want to move on but its soo hard idk wat to do.. any advise? :/

Irishxdream

April 10, 2012 @ (magherafelt)

Tags: he tried it with my cousin

im 18 years old now but just over 3 years ago i had dated a guy i had known m whole life i always loved him but never knew how to tell him so one day i was out with my cousin but he never met her before so he thought she was just a friend when she told him how i felt he asked me out that night and i said yes he kept telling me he loved me and he wanted to be with me forever and i was stupid enough to believe him mainly because i had known him forever anyway we had been together just 2 months and my mum had agreed to let him stay the night with me because i was going to be home alone we were happy and i decided that i trusted him enough so we had sex that night a week later my cousin who he still thought was just a friend came to my house with her boyfriend who was his cousin and she had told me that he tried to go with her behind my back at first i didnt believe her but when she showed me the messages he had sent to her phone i cried my heart was broke how could someone i knew my whole life want to hurt me so much that day i called him and asked him to come up to my mums house when i confronted him he denied it so i showed him the messages and he said she was lying that she had his phone and sent them to herself i was heartbroken how stupid did he think i was?? he went silent and didnt know what to say when i told him that she was my younger cousin i was so upset but i had to laugh when i saw the look on his face maybe now he'll think before he tries it on some other girl hahaha p.s im now engaged to a wonderful guy i met just a month after we broke up so in a way im glad it happened xxxx

Rio F

April 01, 2012 @ (uk)

Tags: breakup, lonely

i was dumped on exmas day. it hurt soo much. to make things worse we had just bought a house ten days before!!! i felt like it was the end of the world! it still hurts a lot that people can mess u up just like that - espically someone u loved so much. i moved away from friends and family and now i am stuck in a nightmare. when i finish work and come home i am so lonely. time passing has helped but doesnt hide the fact my life is in ruins....

Jannet

March 22, 2012 @ (somewhere)

Tags: bestfriends

*Im a teenager*
it was in Jan, this year when me and lets say his names BOB started going out but im going to far...so it was october when we met and we met thru his girlfriend(lets say her names SUZY) so SUZY was one of my bestfriends at the time (now we completely hate eachother but thats a whole other story) and BOB and SUZY were going out anyways so we started texting and then we finally saw eachother at school and we starting talking alot so much it became daily and we became bestfriends. and yea it wasnt actually "bestfriends" cuz we had only known eachother for about a month. but it felt that way to us... he told me everything and i did to...then him and suzy broke up..but then he met my other bestfriend(lets say her name is KIM) and he starting liking her which then turned into love and KIM started going out w him.. so then they broke up and then they started going out again and then on new years eve about 12 minutes after midnight we were texting and he told me he loved me but he was buzzed cuz he had been drinking a little for new years and so i thought he ws joking so the next day i asked him if it was true and he said "only if i wanted it to be" then about on jan 9 he broke up w KIM... FOR ME..i couldnt believe it..he was saying that she was the girl for him and then he dumps her for me! and so he said his love for her was never true and that he knew it was for me cuz he KNEW me and cuz i understood him..i believed him bc i felt and still feel the same way..but he is a trublemaker and so he got suspened from school and got grounded from his fone and hanging out so our other connections were failed and i didnt see him for about 2 weeks and then when he got back he asked me out then two days later he got expelled and we didnt talk about a month later i finally gave up on him returing back and i broke up w him over facebook..he said it was "cool we could still be friends" that was the last i heard of him... i knew our friendship was broken too..we were so close that i never knew that one mistake like that could end it.. and now on i still hope one day we will end up together or hopefully be friends again..even if i only knew him for 5 months he was the only person i have ever felt that close to.. so do you think he ever did love me?

Jill

March 18, 2012 @ (Up the hill..)

Tags: Jill, jack, pale of water

One night my best friend and I were waiting for my parents to pick us up from a party when my phone started buzzing. When I looked down It was a guy in my grade named jack, it was really random since we hardly ever text. And at that moment, when I got that text I knew I liked him and he liked me. We started texting from early in the morning to late at night everyday, and we never ran out of things to talk about. He finally asked me out at school and we were the most adorable couple. At parties it was always just him and I hanging out being all over each other and being little kids together. He was so sweet to me. And then things started getting rocky. Suddenly he wouldn't text me as much and he would make the rudest comments to me. Then he just broke up with me. I mean it's not like I didn't have it coming because I knew we were having problems anyways. But I was still heart broken. He then started flirting with all my friends and getting super close to my best friend, the same girl in the beginning. But one night when I was missing him the most he texted me saying how sorry he was and how he wanted me back so badly. I agreed and immediately went to tell my best friend excitedly. She broke down in tears over the phone saying how sorry she was and what a terrible friend she had been. She then explained how jack and her were talking the whole time we were dating and how she technically got him to break up with me. I was so confused and happy and heart broken at the same time. But I trusted her and forgave them both. Even tho he doesn't know that I know he did that. We dated a few more months and all of a sudden he broke up with me again. She did the exact same thing to me again. Now I can't look at either of them the way I used to. I don't want to forgive, when now I can't forget..

Eleonor

March 16, 2012 @ (Sussex)

Tags: Michael, Tom, Jared

Ever known a person who you constantly fight with? Like every single day?

Well that's the case with me and Tom. We argue so much, scream at each other.. But I love him to bits.. here's my story.

We met 3 years ago in college and I remember saying eeww he's so unattractive. We spoke a bit but that's the end of it. Three months later I met him at a function where I was bored out of my mind and he came up to me and said hey aren't you the person I spoke to around 3 months ago and I was like yes now I remember you. Anyway so we got talking and my dad phoned me and told me he couldn't take me back home that night so Tom drove me home. We are both into acting and around 2 months later were taking place in the same show and that's where we exchanged numbers. I was in a relationship at the time but as time passed I started to develop a soft spot for Tom and forgot my initial outlook on him.

Things got pretty ugly with my then boyfriend and it was Tom who I would phone at all times crying because my boyfriend was treating me like dirt. He supported me and helped me through the breakup, and 3 days after my breakup he held my hand so I was so confused.

Come April and as much as I liked Tom I had strong feelings for another guy- Jared. We started dating and Tom was devastated and didn't speak to me for like 2 whole months then when I broke up with Jared he was the one who I turned to and he held me and supported me. Then the shock of my life came when as I was crying he kissed me.. I was so confused I didn't know whether he liked me or not..

We had a Summer romance, we would do everything together and I loved him so much and was always loyal to him and was head over heels in love with him but my friends would tell me why him he is so unattractive and I would say I think he is handsome because I know his character well and I have learned to see over and above physical beauty.

He was so romantic, we would take long walks by the beach, make out in his car, go to quite places and spend the night making out there.

Then college started again and everything changed. We see each other often there. One night we both drank a lot and got really drunk and started making out in front of everyone and I don't know why he was embarrassed by it and when we met the next day he wasn't the same as usual..

He would ignore me, shout and fight with me and act like a total loser. Then this really fit guy started speaking to me and I told Tom do you like me he said no why I said fine then I'm going to start dating Michael and he didnt speak to me anymore.

I got into a relationship with Michael and since then things between Tom and I have been disastrous. We meet in college and then there's lots of flirting but then we fight so much all the time and compete coz we have classes together and he asked me how much I got in my Anatomy exam and I said A+ and he yelled at me coz he got an A.

Last week we met up with some of his friends and he held my hand and things really seemed weird. Coz I like Michael and he's really sweet and I know that Tom is just playing with my feelings now and he is jealous and possessive and doesn't like the fact that I am dating another guy yet he is too much of a jackass to commit to me :/

Kimberly

March 10, 2012 @ (Indiana)

Tags: YoungLove

We didn't talk much and he was one of those "to cool" kids.I am a mexican girl in like a white school.So i never actually got to grab his attention.I then was in his class for 5th grade.At first we didn't talk much.But then i gave him my number.We talked all day long every single day.We got closer and closer.The thing is he had a girlfriend named (changing name) Sam.They have been dating for a while and he loved her very much.As time went by i had huge feelings for him.I Then Told Him I Liked Him So Much.We were the best of friends.As time passed again he told me he had feelings for me too.Then summer of 2011 he broke up with Sam.We then went out June 1st.We were such a cute couple in school.I Would Always Kiss Him Hold His Hand Everything You could imagine was cute in the relationship.I Then Became Jealous of him Talking to Sam.He was jealous i talked to boys too.We would fight after the next 3 months in our relationship.I loved him sooo very much and still do.Then February came of 2012. I Became very frustrated and had so much stress on me.I Broke Up with Him.He kept begging me back and asking me out,i would always say NoNoNO and change the conversation.We were both a mess.I Cried every night.His friends would tell me he was a mess.But the next thing i know i get a text.He said he was with Sam again.My heart collapsed.He cheated on her kissing me like three times.I Caused them trouble and he told me to keep quiet about him cheating.I Then Busted out with anger and said stuff i wish i didnt.Now we have a awkward friendship with hate.He is still with sam.And i still love him more than anything but im moving on and i Am annoying telling him i want him back.He then said it feels bad when the one you love rejecting you doesn't it.I Then Still waste my time thinking about him and being forever alone.

Steven

March 06, 2012 @ (Vermont)

Tags: Example 1

My sister gave her friend my number and instantly we started hitting it off. We talked everyday and all day long as well as hung out as much as possible. One day I asked her if she wanted to be official and she agreed. We were together for a few weeks and in that few weeks she said she loved me. I on the other hand wasnt ready to tell her that. Then a few days later she texted me in the middle of the night saying she rushed into the relationship and wasn't ready to be with someone. This was strange because days before she was saying things the COMPLETE opposite. She said she still wanted to talk and hang out and be together but just not officially. So I agreed and things kept going for a week until one day I was at her house playing a game on her iphone when randomly this kid texted her calling her "babe" I was skeptical so I went through the conversation while she wasn't looking and I found days worth of conversations with stuff like her saying "I want you" and "I miss you babe" (stuff she usually says to me) So i showed it to her and she freaked out and begged me not to leave and me being the idiot i was spent all night listening to her explain herself. She said that he meant nothing to her and one of the main reasons she broke up with me in the first place was that "there was another guy" which turned out to be her ex. This devastated me but when we were making up and spending the night together I told her I loved her. We were so close for a while until one day she texted my sister and told her "I make her feel like shit sometimes" which makes no sense because I had done nothing wrong. She told me she needed space from me and said If i dont do so then I'll "lose her forever" I spent two weeks not talking to her and in those two weeks I was in a deep depression and couldn't enjoy anything I once loved doing. So one day she texted me saying she missed me and took me back but once again she went through this stupid little phase she had where she just wouldn't talk to me or wouldn't call me "babe" or call me "her boyfriend" I checked her facebook and she flirts with SO many guys she calls them "babe" and "boo" and I just couldn't believe my eyes. I texted her 8 pages of everything that I felt and told her that she made no effort in the relationship and treated me like an idiot. She then proceeded to deny flirting and talking with other guys when I can clearly see her doing it on facebook. I broke up with her and she told me it was all my fault. Pssh yeah right. I know Im a good guy and I didnt deserve that. Fuck any girl who is a tease and thinks flirting with a million guys is cool. You aren't cool. It's unattractive and makes you look like a slut/idiot/bitch that no one likes