Searching for "lost"

158 Results For 'lost'

Sergeidragunov45

November 30, 2015 @ (pegasusland )

Tags: muffin sushimuis clisje neko-chan broken heartache manuel muurbloem jason gregory house

About nine months ago, my girlfriend and I broke up. We had a relationship for about 4 years, but it felt like we knew eachother much longer because we saw eachother almost every day and we hardly ever had a fight. My (ex) girlfriend was a beautiful indonesian girl with mesmerizing dark brown eyes and the prettiest smile ive ever seen before. we had a lot in common and I love her like crazy ( i still do).The reason for our breakup was because of the fact that my parents are very traditional (im chinese btw) and strict. So that means that I am not allowed to date a girl that wasnt from the same root as mine and we are raised to have maximum respect for elder people, especially parents. In the beginning when we just started dating, my parents acted cool towards our relationship. that was because they didnt thought it was serious and they saw it more like friendship. But later when i told them that we are really boyfriend and girlfriend, they became mad and wanted me to find a chinese girl. I didnt listen to them and I Always had an argument with my parents because I love that girl so much. This went on for several years until that one moment i've had it all enough of all that fighting with my parents. Later ive been thinking about breaking up with her but i couldnt do it, i love her to much to lose her. I said before that im chinese and chinese people have a lot of respect for parents. so I told my parents: This is enough, I had it with all this fighting. I'll do whatever you want and break up with her''. This was the toughest I had to do in my life and when i saw her and didnt even told her in person. I broke up with her per text, because i couldnt watch her cry and suffer. I thought that i would get over her and that i would be one line again with my parents, but i was so miserably wrong. I still had arguments with my parents about other stuff and this went from bad to worse. plus i dont have my girlfriend to talk to about this stuff and support me. i thought that it would get better in the future but i was wrong again. its still the same it Always has been the same and now Ive lost the love of my life. I think about her everyday and i just cant forget her. everytime when I lay in bed i pretend that my cushion is her and that i hug her while I sleep and I even dream about her almost every night. I know that i sound like a complete idiot right now but i really still suffer. She moved on with her life and I still pretend in my imagination that I still have her. maybe i became mad or maybe im just an idiot. but one things for sure, this wound hasnt been healed a little bit and it wont be in a long time. it probably never will. but one thing is for sure, I still love her and I hope she will find happiness in the future, with me or without me.

Bobby

November 01, 2015 @ (Toronto)

Tags: Tragic Love story

So I can't believe I'm doing this. Maybe some therapy so that I don't lose my head.

When I was about 12 or 13 I woke up from a horrible nightmare that wasn't easy to understand or describe. I was in a sweat and could hardly breath. The only way I could put into words to my parents was that it felt like I had a 10 million dollar ticket and watched the wind blow it from my hand and was gone forever. I feel now that this was a premonition for things to come. Almost like an intense ripple felt through time.

Flash forward 13 years, I'm 25 and I see the most beautiful girl sitting in the lunch room at work. Keep in mind that I'm a very shy type and for just once in my life I through caution to the wind. I had to talk with this girl she was a dream. I think from that point we talked on the phone every night, we had incredible adventures through conversation I felt like I had met my soulmate. Also we had an incredible physical chemistry. Late nights in my parents basement by the fire and nothing else mattered...the body heat and passion was intense, 2 souls coming together and best of all talking about life into the early morning hours. I was a struggling artist you see, working evenings at the shop and trying to make my dreams come true during the days. She didn't seem to care, we were lost in our own little world.

1 year turned into 2, and 2 into 3...and I never lost the passion, every day seeing her was like Christmas eve. Around that time she was finishing school and I was away in Europe doing fashion modelling. God she hated me doing that, being around other women but she had nothing to fear. She was my everything, my whole world and I was just trying to find a way to make life work with the struggles of being an artist.

Years passed and the modelling did not yield the money I had hoped. The girl I loved was growing up, she graduated school and was just offered her first grown up job. At the time I was starting my software company, god damn I wish some days that I could just put on a suit and tie. She was doing great and I can say that I just was not at my best...that's when I'm sure thoughts of children and a white picket fence crossed her mind. From every day after that she grew more distant. It's a horrible feeling of helplessness. Like sand sifting through your fingers.

It's been about 3 years (I think) since we broke up. She has since moved on and met someone else. I was really angry when I first found out, but I'm just not convinced that she would have the life she wants if we were still together. I'm married to my work and she deserves better.

The saddest part of the story? I'm sitting here telling it to you over the internet. I've dated other women, but I just can't stop being in love with another. These relationships fail because I have to end them, it's just not fair for the other individual. Never in my life have I been wounded like this, and the years haven't healed a thing.

It's unbearable dealing with all the pain and anger, but deep down knowing that the woman I love more than anything else in the world would be better off without me....

Sophie

September 21, 2015 @ (Uk)

Tags: Breakup

I met this guy online. I was in the process of ending a 3 year relationship. He came out of the blue, we started talking, texting, skype and we talked hours on the phone. He told me I was Mrs. Right and that he was going to marry me. I fell so jard for him. He lives in another stTe and i was making plans to visit him next month and eventually move there we had so much in common. He used the right words, he was everything I wanted. I was in lo e like I habe never been. He needed to get a job because his mom was going to kick him out and since he wasn't studying because his parents are facing a financial situation he needed a job and also because he has a project and needs money to accomplish that. He found a job and it was good he was happy and I was happy for him. He wanted to be the best at it and just succeed I totally understand that I told him I support you, we are a team. His schedule was hectic and some days he worked 16 hours. We barely talked and he told me that this was going to be at first until everything settle. We fouvht because there were days I didn't heard from him, and we fix it, then we fouvht again. He became distNt and stop saying i love you. I sent him a package with stuff and he put it as his profile picture then 2 weeks ago changed it. I told him lets forget our problems lets just focus on the future and support each other blahblah he didn't reply so i said okay nextday he said sorry i just read it and i was having a bad moment so couldnt reply. We havent talked he said that two saturdays ago so last wednesday i texted saying whats up noreply but he texted wuth my friend he ignores me. I turned my phone off since thursday because i have been crying for two weeks, i feel dead inside. I dont eat, cant sleep i am so depressed and i have my plane ticket and i dont know if i should go or not. I dont know what to do. This is the first breakup that made me feel like there is no more hope that maybe he has anew gf or he just played with me. Or that i am not worth fighting for.ido feel worthless and cant stop crying. Also i lost mu job so i dont have anything to look forward

Pierre

September 02, 2015 @ (france)

Tags: break up

Here goes it going to ne long.

I mst this girl on august 15 2014, I was working at work a hotel where i was working the night shift and she walks in with her daughter.10 years old.
She put her daughter to bed in the hotel and she came down and spoke to me , we had sex .
She game me her number we met up on the next day in a restaurant , then she stayed at mine for 4 nights with her daughter, everyday while sh was at mine she said tomorrow I am leaving , but she stayed.
She lives 150 miles from me so on weekends I would see her and most weekends on a monday morning she would say I want you to leave then when I leave she would say I love you .
Her daughter would cry at night if her mother stayed up with me , if she went to bed she would not.
One night her mother got angry through out her daughter on the street , I tried to bring her in but her mother said no.Finally she brought her in and she smashed her place up plates and glasses and furtuinre then she said I have had enough she took her car and wanted to commit suicide.
Me and the daughter cleaned up the place 10 mins later she came back and said now the daughters a sleep. she then through me out at 01:00 no taxi in the area and my phone was dead. after 30 mins she let me back in the house.this was in around nov 2014.

I still went back on weekends and sometimes it was ok sometimes she wanted me to leave.

She has been to my house a few times, she would have a go saying I am always on the phone, so I thrw the phone outside . and she went quite.

Sometimes at mine she would say I dont like it hear. I want to go home so I would drive her back home and then next day she said she loves me.

I used to pay for her shopping buy her found even though we are both working.

She used to coplain about my hair my clothes, her life and her daughter her family.

One time she said she tried to commit suicde from a 3rd floor window.
We booked a weekend to Paris away I booked train tickets and hotels 4 days before she said I am not going with you . so I lost money on train ticket but got hotel cancelled ok.
weeks later we went with my son and her daughetr and her to paris for 5 days. 1st day she complained about the room, she walked out half way out of a meal. I payed for all the stuff in paris she did not give me the money for her part I finally said its ok..because everyday she said I will give it to you.

after Paris she did not speak to me and 4 days later she said she loves me .

My sons grandfather passed away in august 2015. My ex (sons mother) had to orgnaise everything also she had to change appointements for drs for my son before he returns back to school. MY girfriend got upset said we dont have hoildays together and we have 1 week off and your ex did it on purpose to change dayes, I said no because her father died.

Anyway, she has split up with me for that also she said, because I work the night shift and I tried to stay at your place I cant .

My son was happy I split up with her and sent her 2 text messages and she was unhappy about him saying hes happy we split up.

She then told me its finished I should go and fuck my self .

I miss her no idea why after everything. I have not written everything because thier was so many tantrums and her having a go at me .

Sometimes I feel sad , I just want to speak to her , I miss the sex and this was my 1st realtionship since 8 years

Nate

August 03, 2015 @ (europe)

Tags: Bad break up

Once upon a time I was dating a girl for a few months, I was in love with her and was really enjoying it. We had our ups and down , on the last month though we were doing pretty well. until the summer break came , so we were going to spend about a month apart, in our hometowns. A few days after she left she started to show some kind of unconcern about me, and phone calls reduced. the duration of phone calls also reduced. I understood that things were going bad, even I was complained some times to her .But I believed that it was just the distance, or that I was overreacting and overthinking it. I was very sad, angry and unsecure at that time but I tried not to show it, most of the times, not to make things worse and I just waited to get back together to see what is actually going on. But the last few days before we return to the city we were studying, she started to talk to me really cold on the phone without any obvious reason. So I decided not to talk to her again and see how far this apathy and unconcern goes. So one day we closed the phone, and didn't call her again. Neither did she. She detached and then she got lost, just like that... So I decided after a few days to call her, as I knew she had already arived, and I asked her to meet and talked,she agreed but she said she was very busy with going out with friends and she told me me that she wasn't sure about when we are going to meet. This was very offensive, I felt very bad that it was so hard for her to find 20 minutes to discuss with me the problem..just because she was going out a lot with friends. I was sure then that we were breaking up, So the next day I just sent her a text and I said her that we were breaking up, with the hope that if it was important for her to be together, she would try a just a bit. But she replied and said that she also wanted to break up. My heart teared apart at that time. Something that once was good, ended with a 2-lines text and a goodbye. I am very sad about it, some day I will feel better I suppose, but today is not that day.

I talk to people about it and most of them act like it's nothing, and respond to me with stuff like you will find another one etc. At first I was feeling but about being so hurt, but a loss like this causes pain , and it feels better now that I accepted that pain is just normal in cases like this and eventually it will pass, but not today.

Ashley S

July 01, 2015 @ (il )

Tags: break up

I met this guy and we talked for years!! we started dating and we dated for 3 years!! I met this girl and she seemed really nice! We got to know each other better and just like that we became best friends!! I told my friend about her and she asked what her name was (my friend went to a different school) so i told her. I told her the girls name and what she looked like and how she acted. My friend from the other school knew her and told me that she breaks up couples! I didn't believe her so I went of on her and told her we couldn't be friends anymore! Im still dating the guy i have been dating for 3 years! I finally introduce my new best friend to my boyfriend. We grew to be so close the 3 of us. Little did I know my new best friend was stalking my boyfriend. They hooked up at my birthday party in my room on my bed. I walk in on the having sex and I scream!!! She said "Haha 58th girl that fell for that. Thank you for the new sex machine." I was devistated he dated her. He said she did a better job satisfying his sexual needs. I was heart broken! I was depressed in every way!! I couldn't believe that it was happening to me. I felt sick and couldn't look at myself in the mirror. I called my friend that told me about her! I told her how she was right about everything!! She didn't listen to me she said next time you will listen if you ever have a next time. She told me she never wanted to be my friend again. I said id kill myself before id be friends with you. I felt bad! I lost my best friend! My sister! Over this girl! I finally decided to text the girl and she said she was calling the cops. all I said was "hey" she sent 2 people to my house to beat me up. I was petrified. 4 months later my ex-boyfriend calls me and says he wants me back and said he messed up. I asked him what happened to him and the girl. He said she left him for someone else who had a girlfriend. I told him I would have to think. I invited him over and we walked to the girl my ex-bestfriend was talking to and trying to steal her boyfriend. I told her what happened and so did my boyfriend. She didn't believe us. I texted her after i heard that her boyfriend and her broke up. I asked if i could come over. She told me yes. I went over and we talked and we are now best friends! I decided to forgive my boyfriend but my best friend didn't for give hers. Her ex-boyfriend, was so upset he killed him self. I still miss my old best friend! I learned to listen to the people who care about me! And I always will!! me and my boyfriend are happy again and are going on 1 month.

Carly-Ann

May 26, 2015 @ (Pennsylvania, Philadelphia)

Tags: break up

When I was 13 I met a boy in my eighth grade social studies class...let's call him Jason. Jason and I became good friends pretty quickly, and by the start of high school we were dating.

Fast forward to junior year, and things got a little rocky. He started becoming moody and irritable, yelling at me for the most insignificant reasons, like missing one text he had sent while I was at soccer practice. I cried every day, but I still stayed with him. In November of senior year, he played in a football game against our rival school (which we lost). I knew he would be pissed, so I tried to console him. Big mistake. He turned on me, calling me a stupid b**** and how he hated me and that I was nothing but a loser. I started crying a little and yelled at him that if he hated me so much, then he can just leave, thank you very much. He shoved me (not hard, but enough to make me stumble a little) and told me that we were over. Well, that was it. I ran home from school (I didn't even care that his teammates were staring at me) and started crying my eyes out. He texted me a few minutes later saying how sorry he was and asked if we could get back together. I said yes, and for the next couple weeks everything was fine.

Well, stupid is as stupid does. In December of senior year, I heard him talking to his friend about how much of a slut I am and how he wishes he could just break up with me without me making a big scene. I didn't even have the guts to stand up to him. I just ran to the bathroom and started to cry. We have not spoken a word to each other since then.

Ally Marie

April 26, 2015 @ (Canada )

Tags: sad

My ex boyfriend and I started talking after we had played mw3 with mutual friends. we had never met before. At first it was only just texting like friends and then one night I just randomly told him.. whenever I like someone. I tell them. it kinda comes in handy sometimes. but anyways I said to him "look, I know we've never met and stuff but I kinda like you, I don't want to ruin things if you don't feel the same way so if you don't, let's forget about it." he replied with "only kinda..?" and I'm like "more than that". and he told me he felt the same way. we started dating January 17th 2015. we had been dating for maybe five days and my dad drove me to meet him at the movies. he walked over and shook my dads hand and we went to watch American sniper. he kept looking at me throughout the whole movie and smiling. I was so nervous so I kept biting my lip and giggling quietly. he had his arm around me and he kissed my cheek and my forehead a few times. he was so sweet and caring and I honestly fell in love with him. at the end of the movie. we made out and stuff but I had to leave because my dad texted me. once we got to our own homes we talked all night. he was the best guy I've ever met. I love him still more than I've ever loved myself. March 15 he went on vacation. we barley got to talk that day because he was on the plane. after that. a few days later I texted him saying hey and he just read it. so I just left it. the next day I still hadn't heard from him. not even the next. he would just read my messages. so I finally said "do you want to break up? I feel like you have lost feelings for me." he said no and that was it. on the 20th of March we broke up. he accused me of breaking up with him for saying "would it be best if we broke up because you don't seem happy and you seem distant." he got really mad and was like "wow. so we're over?" I said "no? I'm just asking you. I want to be with you". he just ignored it. so. after that there was a lot of fighting and mind games and he was being very rude and blaming me. we broke up after dating for two months. I know it was a short time but I was in love and he said he was too. now still, to this day. April 26th. we still talk. more so fighting rather than talking. he's put me through so much and I've gone to counselling because it's really hard to cope with it. he's called me so many names and I'm still so in love with him. Yes we are young. I'm turning 14 in June and on March 28th he turned 15. but I still love him and I don't find that love has an age. I know a lot of you may blame me for this like he did but yeah.

Broken (part 4)

April 21, 2015 @ (toronto)

Tags: bad breakup

Three weeks into my still ongoing vacation i get a call from a friend. Says he wasn't in paris with his friends for new years but with his so called ex-wife who is not an ex wife and never was. I feel a flutter of wrongs come back into my stomach. I feel a volcano of emotions. But most of all i feel like puking I puke out everything, the lies, the emotions, the hurt, the champagne, the empty promises, the real promises? I don't know at this point but i keep puking and then i cry. I cry for the lies he has told me and i cry for the two hearts i broke because of him. I cry for the man i let go and i cry for the mistake i have made. I cry for lying to myself and ignoring all the red signs, i cry for believing him, and mostly i cry because i can't and won't let him go. I call him i break up with him. He doesn't run after me and won't run after me. I block him and then unblock him i do this for the next 3 months. once i unblock him i hurl insults at him through Facebook, text messaging, voice messaging. I feel empty so i block him again. I do it again and this time we go back to saying i love yous but then the anger rises in me and i hurl my insult my pain at a screen. So i block him again. I unblock him and so it begins a cycle. I laugh sometimes. My friends stare at me. They used to call me the ice queen now i am the melting queen. I have break downs and melt downs. I can't hurl my anger at him so i hurl it at them whenever they'r ehappy i do it when they're down i do it when they're sad i do it. I don't know myself. The last time i blocked him was 7 days ago today i say its done its over. But deep down i don't know if it is. I love him as a child loves its favourite blanket or as mother loves her unborn child. I love him as if he were the beat of my heart and soul. I feel a physical pain when i see a flash of his smile in my head. I miss him so much that its physically painful to breath. I tell myself it is better to have loved and lost then to have felt no love at all. Then i google and try to find who said that quote and i then i want to find them and murder them. I want to see if they really have loved and lost because anyone who has truly loved. As in loved with their entire soul and finally understood what i would die for you would never ever ever say such a fucking stupid quote. So i go online and i try to find sad break up stories. I find this website but all the stories are about 18 year olds whom portably thing they have found true love. And i think to myself they are only 18 and they don't know what love means. But then i look at myself and i remember i was 18 and i knew love and look where that love has brought me. Which really is nowhere.

AZ

April 11, 2015 @ (United States)

Tags: first Love, First break up, second chance, back together

My story might be a little different, but still the same feelings, the same pain. I am a guy and i fell in love with another guy this was my first relationship with a guy. We met in March of 2014 everything was great from day one. We met at a parking lot at the willowbrook mall in Houston, TX. We were great together, we wouldn't go 24hrs without texting each other. He told me from the begining he was scared of getting hurt and wanted to take everything slow, he said he had moved too fast before and only ended up getting hurt. He didnt want to make the same mistake this time. We never became an official couple, but we were officially dating. He told me what he was feeling was getting stronger and it was freaking him and he didnt want to lose me. We went on a few road trips, Marfa, TX Austin, San Antonio it was great. We used to see each other a few times per week almost a year later we started seeing each other less and less, he put this big distance between us i didnt know why and it was killing me. In October I decided to ask him to take it to the next step, he straight out said no, he didnt want to get hurt or move to fast. I told him i would wait for him. We kept hanging out, things were ok I was already in love, but i was also scared. so in March i finally decided to put the fear aside and tell him i fell in love with him and that i love him so at least he knew how i feel, i didnt want to pressure him. When i told him he probably freaked out, he was more quite than usual. I started feeling sad, i didnt want to lose him. I told him to tell me if he wasnt interested anymore or didnt want to continue dating. He said he was just figuring out himself. On March 18th saw him again and it was the last time i saw him, i texted him he didnt reply at that moment i thought he was ignoring me, avoiding me, he texted me back he said he wasnt. I felt he didnt want to talk to me or hang out anymore it was killing me i didnt know if i did anything wrong, he told me there was not a thing wrong with me that it was all him and he wasnt ready. i told him i had faith we will end up together i had hope he would shop up at my door and tell me he wanted to give it a chance. He said maybe someday, he wasnt ready yet, but he wasnt going to disappear or quit talking to me. That was his last text. He completely ignored me, I didnt know why, i didnt know what happened or what i did wrong. I still havent gotten a text from him. I did everything i could to be together. This is the first time I was in a relationship with a guy, I never thought i could love someone, i never thought i could love a guy this much. I accepted all these feelings, I was ready to tell my family if i had to. Its almost two weeks since he ignored me, his silence is killing me, he didnt give me the gift of closure. I dont know what hurts more to feel that i lost him, to have accepted all these emotions or to be ignored and i dont know why or what happened or if i didnt anything wrong. This is the first time i feel this, the first time i suffer for someone. This is the first time i love someone and it was a guy. And the worse thing is that i still have hope that he will show up at my door, i hope he is just figuring out himself to finally be ready and start something with me. He will be ready someday, he will give someone a chance, i wish that someone was me, i wish it was me the one to make him happy. I love him, he will always be my white guy, the one who brought light into my life.