Searching for "not"

802 Results For 'not'

Ktlou9317

July 05, 2011 @ (Semmes, AL!)

So me and this guy had been dating almost two years and he is on the poorer side but i didnt care i "loved" him and he "loved" me so i would go get him take him home (30+ mins) and then we'd go out to eat, I'd pay, and then we would go back to my house and chill. Sometimes we'd hang out with friends but I would still have to get, pay, and things like that for him, but i didn't mind because he promised he loved me and one day i'd never have to pay for him ever again and money is just an object to me anyways so i did so lovingly until about three months ago i started asking him if he could meet 10 mins down the road or drive over because i felt to stressed because every fight started being about me not doing enough for him and i asked him to meet me half way. He started acting rude towards me like he changed he acted like he didn't care about me anymore then i told him if this was going to last he would have to meet me somewhere or drive over because i can't go all the way out there, just to make a point i do everything, and he told me why stay together because he wouldn't do that. so we took a break, and i ended ending it. Well it's been a month since the two year break up and he has a new girlfriend. and i feel used, and left for someone new because i've been thinking about how he acted towards the end he stopped caring, about me and was very weird when it came to his phone. so now, i feel like i shouldn't have let him in, i should have kept my walls up, i should have said "no" to everything we did because i can NEVER get that back and now. i just can't even imagine her saying his name, hold his hand, replacing me. so this is my first break up. and it really honestly sucks.

KMF

July 01, 2011 @ (ab)

Tags: it sucks

We've been on and off for 9 months. So not overly long time but there was so much feeling there that kept us to keep coming back. But the other night, the way it ended. I had this feeling in the pit of my stomach that something was wrong, something was telling me to go to his house. He wasn't replying or talking to me all day. I show up at his house to find him sitting in his ex's car with her. I get out, well I had 2 kids I was watching in the vehicle so I tried to keep my cool but I asked him what the hell he was doing and all he said was he was busy talking so I took off. About a half hour later I get this voice mail that said ' I asked her to come talk to me, I kinda needed her too. I think there's still a chance here and I'm going to talk to her about it so I guess I'll talk to you later' and that was the end of it. Later came and he phoned me and told me that we were never actually dating because it wasnt fb offical. After already a month into it. I didn't think FB was such a huge deal or mattered. That night came he made me wait all night thinking he was going to come talk to me but he never did. The next night he phones me and tells me that this will be the last conversation that we ever have and that he doesn't want to talk to me or have me text him again. He said we were never together and that he wants to be with his ex. Now I'm left broken hearted crying in a hotel room because I had a family wedding to go to that he was suppose to be attending with me.

McBill

June 30, 2011 @ (CA)

Tags: short-term, fun

I suppose it had to be done. It was ugly. Though I suppose there's no other way to break a girl's heart. Awkwardness will ensue, as we work together. The thought of leaving her room at 3:30am with her sobbing under her covers while her nasty roommate goes at it with her boy toy in the next room -- ugh. I hate hurting people. I should never have let it drag on so long. It was inconsiderate. I should not have told her that I regretted letting it drag on so long. That made it worse. Can't take that back.
I don't regret the time I spent with her. Not one bit. It was fun. She shouldn't feel dumb, although she probably does. It wasn't her fault that the relationship turned out this way. If I was the slightest bit open with my feelings, it wouldn't have ended so badly.
And I miss her already. I got so used to being with her every night. It's going to be hard to go back to being alone and miserable in this house. Lame friends, nothing much to do. I actually thought it would work itself out. I thought she was going to move away, and that things would work themselves out eventually. I was too much of a wussy to take it into my own hands.

Manda

June 15, 2011 @ (Indiana)

Tags: crazy, psycho, too long

The weirdest thing about this story is that I never actually DATED N.B. but there was a clear break up!

NB was my best friend. I had gotten to know him though he was shy and withdrawn and he really got close to me. While I did like him it wasn't serious. So one day I pulled him aside and told him (in my memory) as best as I could that I didn't see him that way.

Then I met CL and we dated. It was an open and obvious relationship and we all spent time together at the same youth group, so I assumed NB knew like the rest of the world. Eventually, CL and I broke it off and I told NB that we had broken up. He acted as though he never knew we were dating and asked when he and I would start dating. This was a YEAR after the first conversation about all of this.
My response was pretty much "what? no."

Then the crazy set in. He bought a trenchcoat (like a friggin' high school shooter). He stopped bathing. He combed his hair down over his face. I got psycho emails and changed phones with my mom. My parents were looking into a restraining order.

So then I go to college. He keeps it up and finally says via email if I never respond to him he will leave me alone. If only! I don't respond and when I visit home he corners me. He says he just wants to be friends and I shout at him that I don't.

Sounds easy enough? Even during my 3 year engagement he would circle me at church, regardless of my fiance being there or not!

So a long and torturous break up with someone I never dated!

Vickie

May 17, 2011 @ (sacramento)

Tags: lala

Today marks the first month since he broke up with me.
i'm still lost, confused, heart broken, and tired...
everynight i still wait for his return and yet i get nothing. We were together for 2 years and then one day i receive a text from him saying "we need to talk", when he arrived that night the first thing he said was "i don't think it's gonna work out anymore". My heart sank, i still love him deeply and i'm afraid if i loose him i'll loose everything. i'm trying to move on but he seems to keep coming back.
i don't want to have anymore hope in us because i know he's not coming back.

Sillygirl

May 15, 2011 @ (San Diego)

Tags: 1

Well day five without speaking with him, I feel a bit lost and miss him a lot. I am not sure where this will go. I believe I am holding on to lost hope and need to tell a new story. Maybe I will YAY

Lynette

May 14, 2011 @ (Los Angeles)

Tags: Liar

18 months of my life that I can't get back. Funny thing is that when we were together, everything seemed wonderful. He was loving, attentive, and sweet. It was the first time since my painful divorce that I let myself really trust and fall in love. What a mistake!

He told me that he was divorced. He said he was living in his friend's guest house- even took me there! Of course, he wasn't. They were all lies. You know where this is going.... Abruptly, his wife calls me. I guess that one day he called my office on their house phone and she got suspicious. I eventually found out that he bought a separate cell phone just to call me so that his wife wouldn't find out. Anyhow, his wife and I had an interesting conversation on the phone. She actually seemed to be a genuinely nice person- I feel sorry for her. I was also really upset that I unknowingly caused her so much pain- having also experienced a cheating spouse before.

Aparently, he had been lying to me all along, and had cheated on her before. He was still living with his wife. And lying to both of us, using me. When he finally did call me, it was to simply tell me (with a flat affect like he was ordering a pizza)that he was going back to his wife and he asked me not to call her (too late, she called me first) because otherwise, I would be the one responsible for breaking up their family if I spoke with her. Unbelievable! He tried to place the blame on me! And he was afraid that I would tell her what he had been up to. WOW.

Glad I found this out though, imagine if his wife had really left him/divorced him? Now I think that all I was to him was his backup plan in case she did leave. And he probably would have turned around and done the same thing to me later- cheated. Still really angry though. Angry that someone could be so cold hearted and just blatenly lie. Not sure I can trust again now.

Jeanice

May 13, 2011 @ (San Diego)

Tags: 1

This is the second day of a breakup cleanse that I am doing. Yesterday I did not feel as sad as I am feeling today. I feel silly because this guy and I had only gone out for three months and it seems silly to feel so sad. I am 43 and Honestly this is the First time I fell in love. I just felt deeply connected with him and the moment we sat and talked I knew I loved him. It was the strangest feeling I had ever had. It was something deep down within. Also the more I was with him the more I felt as if I was falling in love. Since it was the first time maybe it wasn't supposed to work out I don't know. I know that from our first date he did as I said in my previous post(yesterday) he spoke a lot about his ex. OMINOUS Warning I failed to heed FOR SURE. I know for the future I will run so fast if I see the guy is unavailable. Yet I see with all of the intimacy problems I had had, hence being 43 and NEVER having been in love, there were DEFINITE issues. I see that in many ways he was safe for me to fall in love with. He was amazing with me, and I really do feel that he did care deeply for me. I also got to find out that the feeling of falling in love happened within ME !!! Which is so great because I know it is not all HIM so if he leaves the scene I can still have that LOVE feeling within me. YIPPPPPEEEEEEE for that. I also know that because I love him as much as I feel I do he can be a great friend. I must admit I am still having hopes that it can work out. I will let him go as the saying goes (I am paraphrasing) If you love something set it free if it comes back to you it was yours if it doesn't it never was AAAAHHHHHHH I have tried in the past to hold so tightly to things and it always has caused so much pain. I just want to fall in love and get married, to have a lifelong partner. SO there I am !!!!

Jeanice

May 13, 2011 @ (San Diego )

Tags: 1

Well I am still in a space of hoping against hope we will not have to break up. I am on the edge, knowing that where we were heading was not working and he has put the brakes on. I want to make it all about him because I do not want to look within me to see that there were definitely things that were not working for me i.e. He still has a lot of anger towards his ex (thin line between love and hate) and he is very gun shy to move forward with me, hence he is probably not finished with his last gal, nothing truly available for me. We do not have tons in common, and he does not have his financial life together at ALL !!! He is pretty immature also. Yet there is this amazing connection we have. OH GOD I can see how I am hanging on to a thread hoping hoping hoping it can change. I know even if there is a chance for the future. What is now needs to be over. DAMNIT !!!! I do not want to freaking admit this. So for today I am going to release the relationship that was. Do a ritual to let him go release him from my energy. What will happen will happen

Golden614

May 06, 2011 @ (AZ)

Tags: love1

We had been together for three years. Three happy years. We laughed all the time, went places together, shared dreams and thoughts. Had awesome debates. We didn't always see eye to eye, obviously, but when we argued it was productive. There was compromise on both parts and I FELT so loved and so lucky. I looked at other people's relationships and couldn't understand all the drama and strife. We worked through our problems and were steadily making progress and both happily moving forward in our relationship. So much laughter and joy, any issue was rare because we got along so well. And then about a week before it happened, maybe two, I noticed he was very distant. I chalked it up to work stress and so many other things. I didn't push, thinking he would talk about it when he was ready. I know how I feel when I get the blues, I don't want everyone pushing me and asking me what's wrong, ad nauseum. He called me one day while he knew I was at work and gave me the dreaded line, "We need to talk." He said he didn't love me. He wasn't looking for "the one." We weren't compatible, etc etc etc. This from the man who only a week before had purchased a trip over seas with me and was talking about our future and telling me how special I was, I mean I literally had the wind knocked out of me. Now he says he wants to be friends. I love him but I'm not stupid. I don't want to be with someone who could flip on me so quickly, who would lead me on for three years, someone who apparently doesn't love me. But, my heart just can't seem to catch up with my brain. I see that he had an attack of commitment-phobia. But, how can it be true that he would stay with me for so long, that we could both be SO happy and he doesn't love me? I am having trouble moving on because I just can't wrap my head around it. And this whole, "We can still be friends," mess. Yeah, right. That has to some selfish ploy to alleviate his guilt feelings. And he tells me things like, "People break up all the time." "People change." It seems like the only thing that changed was how he acted toward me. And people do break up all the time, but so suddenly? So arbitrarily? He said he has never been with anyone as long as he has been with me and that no one was so immersed in his life, that he had never been so close with anyone else. Ever. He still wants me to be a part of his life. But he doesn't love me? He has loved other girlfriends, but not me? I'm lost. I just don't get it.