Tags: Hm
I got together with my best friend. We had a good time, moved to a city of a different country together to live there for a year during my student exchange. We had a good time and we cared for each other a lot. Soon doubts crept in, I wondered whether I loved him enough, whether this was what I wanted from love in life. Only in the crisis that lead to our break up I learned that he's had similar doubts. The drama is that there was no drama. We broke up in perfect mutual understanding, in agreement over the issues that we didn't like and also sharing the opinion that starting new with somebody else would be the best option. I still believe this is right and I don't want to let things get messy by contacting him, I don't want him to come back out of sympathy and I don't want me to try and get him back just out of the fear of losing an extraordinary friend and perhaps the most supportive, accepting and understanding person I met in my life.
Now, it's only been two weeks and after an amazing conversation with one of my professors who tried to help me (and succeeded doing so in a way), I still doubt my choice and I still miss him and the loss of him is certainly the hardest thing I ever had to take.
Perhaps you guys think this is easier as it didn't get nasty, and perhaps you are right, but is there anything that is more bitter than two people who desperately want to be together and tried to make each other happy but whose love simply wasn't enough?
However, this story just seemed different from most I read here so I'll share it with you.
Tags: love, detachment
We were old school friends and had been, in those days, pretty close. Not long after I got out of my last relationship, he called me up out of the blue (we had kind of drifted apart) and asked me out. I had had the biggest crush on him when we went to school, so I agreed.
We had an amazing couple of months together. I had never been so in love with anyone I had ever dated. Then we had our first fight. It was a blur of misunderstandings, harsh words, and lots of emotion. We didn't talk for a few days.
It took all I had not to get emotional when I saw him again, but I knew if I did, he'd get defensive and things would just get worse. After we talked everything over (and we both apologized) I felt great. He told me he loved me and that I was the first girlfriend he'd had in quite a while that he felt semi-serious about. I felt closer to him than I ever had.
But then, he proceeded to spew some crap about how he'd been detaching himself from me and how he didn't think the relationship could work out because of it. Apparently, this so-called "love" he felt for me could be disregarded over our FIRST fight. He may as well of just ripped my heart out of my chest and stomped on it.
I broke up with him. How was I supposed to be with someone who could detach himself from me over one fight that I apologized for over and over again?
But then I felt bad. I loved him so much- what kind of person would I be if I didn't try again? I texted him, begging him to talk to me. Begging him to tell me why he didn't love me enough to get over this fight. Begging him to tell me why this wouldn't work out if it had been going so well up to that point. I don't beg- ever. His response? "I don't feel like talking right now- sorry." No matter how much I begged him to talk because I needed him to, he wouldn't.
So I said goodbye. Guys- if you don't really care, don't tell a girl she means the world to you and that you love her. Apparently, for my guy, I shattered his perfect image of me by actually having feelings and by being hurt by our fight. Terrible, I know.
Tags: 2
my ex and i had a perfect communication and he was an awesome boyfriend.. but unfortunetly he never had time to hang out outside of school much and well...now my question is.."how do you tell yur ex yur pregnant if both of you guys are still virgins??"..i honestly dont think he wud believe me and think i cheated on him..and why wud i do that if i care about him and love him??it sounds imposible because this doesnt happen to many people..and i kno the baby is his because hes the only guy ive everdone anything with besides kiss..i dont know what to do..my ex and i are good friends at the moment..i know he still likes me because he told some of my friends..he just didnt have time fur anything..he was a busy dude:/..my friends asked him,"what would you do or think if yur girlfriend told you that she got prego by you??" and he said that he doesnt believe in a girl becoming pregnant without sex..i feel like if he were to tell me to get a DNA test..i would get it, mail it to him and pack my things and raise my baby on my own..somewhere far like mexico maybe..because he denied it the day he made me get a DNA test..and beacuse he thought that low of me
Tags: Fresh experience 1
He didn't even tell me why it was over.We hang out in the evening at his work place(he worked at his cousin's barber shop)and I gave him a love card I had bought and written for him.He then disappeared for days and his friends couldn't tell me where he'd gone. I called him 3 days later and he spoke to me casually, told me he'd travelled out of town. He'd return the next week. I didn't call him or go to look for him where he worked; thought he'd at least call me.When I decided to call him another three days later, it was the usual casual tone, then he pretended he couldn't hear me. I was so hurt, I hung up and sent him a break up text,asked him if I 'd done sth. wrong or if he heard sth. about me.Told him I didn't deserve the harsh treatment and how I had always felt he held back his full affection from me(this was true) blah blah blah. Then I asked him to confirm our break up.BUT HE DIDN'T EVEN RESPOND.Thank God I never slept with him, but I gave him my sinceremost care.It hurts that he couldn't even break up with me openly- treated me like trash.I just want to scream in his face or sth! I desire to have his reaction, to have him show me some emotion at least!But I believe we'll have a second seating:a second stage , different terms and the tables will turn.What goes around comes around , you know ,'malipo ni hapa duniani' - 'your rewards/what you deserve will meet you right here in this world/lifetime', says the swahili saying. For now I'm Just relieved to have shared this problem. It's halved.
Tags: cold breakup
I'm a member of a singles group, a dating agency, basically, and while this was not the most hurtful breakup, it was a pretty cold one. After a month of really great dates and lots of encouragement (from her) for more of the same, the day before a dinner/dance event she slammed me with the revelation of another guy. I absolutely didn't see this coming. Not that we were exclusive, but every bit of feedback I was getting suggested she was focused only on us.
So she called me and in a very business-like way, proceeded to explain that, “The program is set up so you can date other people…” There were no kind softeners. No, “I really like you, but…”; no, “I’ve had a great time with you, but…”; nothing, nada, zip. Just, here are the rules and I followed them.
Then, twice she said, “I wanted to call you myself and let you know, so you didn’t hear it from someone at the group.” Excuse me? What half-mature adult wouldn't call personally to break off a relationship? Newsflash: there's nothing righteous about doing something that's simply responsible. The entire breakup felt like the severing of a business relationship, which makes sense, because she's a corporate officer.
Finally, I wrote her a follow-up e-mail, in which I thanked her for letting me know about this personally (dummy!), and wished her love and happiness. She never replied. Wouldn’t one at least respond in kind, if only briefly? Example: “Dear (you), I wish you love and happiness, too.”
Oh well. The Zen master teaches to disapprove of the action, but not of the actor. Perhaps, but if she becomes available again, I don't have to date her.
Tags: wild out
when i started to date this guy , it was nothing but passion and arguments. four months later he started to talk with someone else . i found out by going through his cell , i never had a reason to go threw this cell. when i had confront him, he felt bad so he started step up. it was great but then i was putting in way more then he was. 6 months later he suddenly didn't want to be in a relationship (idea from his friend} he was there for me still but we still had feelings for each other. he told people we were friends but we were more. after his mom bday last week .(we was official) we started to get more into arguments. i wanted to start dating other people , so we went out saturday everything was right but a bit off . we went to the bar then after the bar he took my laptop n said i dont trust u n push me. we started to get in a argument . his drug dealer brother is missing some stuff , so his brother n him started to blame me . (potheads) i was shock cause i wouldnt dare do that crap but his brother bring strangers into his home. i was even upset when i told him f off im done . he started to call me names . two hours later he went on my fb page n deleted all my photos n friends(he ran off with my laptop) so today i change all my passwords. (im happy to not be with him) he started to text me things n started to name what he dont like about me. like that suppose to hurt
So, he texted me saying were over.. told me he didnt want a girlfriend. Then 3 days later texted me "it was one hell of a run". After our 6 month relationship and him not deciding he wanted a girlfriend he starts to date my friend a month later... i introduced them...
I was befriended on Facebook by a hot guy who had 10 mutual friends as me. He said in the first message "You look sooooo familiar...blah blah blah..." We talked back n forth via FB and txting for a few weeks before he asked me to come over for dinner (he was cooking). RED FLAG ignored by me!! So I went over (stupidity), we had a great time talking, laughing and had a lot in common. We watched a movie, kissed, and so on. That night on my way home he sent a text: you are wonderful!! we talked and text everyday. He asked me out the next night. It was awesome! Then 2 more days that week we got together. he was talking about taking me places, doing stuff together and how beautiful I was. Well, the day after our last date, I didn't hear from him. I sent a txt, he responded 3 hours later...with no XO's or happy faces. Then I didn't hear from him ALL weekend so I sent him an email monday night asking what's going on in a very friendly way. He responded that I'm a wonderful girl, but something just didn't feel right. I kept him as a friend on FB. Yesterday his status changed to "in a relationship". I'm kicking my own ass for falling for that player. DELETE FRIEND!!! I'm really having a hard time understanding why I was so easy and available to him. He dissed me and it was probably someone he was dating before me. I couldn't believe it!
Tags: heartbreak
I met this girl when were 16/17 we had a great relationship from from the start. We did everything together and lost our virginity together. We were together nearly two years and she told.me out of the blue she didnt love me anymore. I wanted nothing to do with her but soon realised i missed her like hell. We tried being friends but just ended up sleeping together for a few more weeks. Until she broke it off again. We went seperate ways and barely spoke since apart from arguments which always ended with us meeting up, kissing and her crying. Its been nearly two years and i cant get her out my head. I have had relationships but ended them because i was still in love with her. Recently weve been txting again and it was great to catch up, until she got drunk and began txting me saying how much she misses me etc. I have been a wreck since she left, drinking and smoking etc. And i am now so confused, she has asked to meet up and as much as i want to i am terrified if meeting her and the thought of her with someone else tears me apart. I feel like i should walk away but i have tried and i get nowhere. I just dont know what to do....
So, I met this guy on facebook. His name was Fredi. I had a boyfriend already so we were just friends. He used to tell im perfect for him & that im the girl of his dreams.. & i believed him. Later on, I broke up with my boyfriend to be with him. One week later, he came to my house and we made out and he kept on making me take off my clothes and i kept on telling him that no. He said okay. Later he asked me out and I said yeah
After one week, we had sex already. & we kept on having it at least one time a week. But the first time we had it, we used no protection. & i realized i miss my period. Thats when I realized what I did. I had sex with a guy I barely met. I didn't want to do it anymore. I told him that I don't want to have sex anynore. He kept on asking me why. So I told him i missed my period. But really... I didn't know why. Was it because I really didn't love him or because I might be pregnant. We went through 2 weeks without having sex and he sended me a text saying he didn't feel anything for me anymore. I started crying. I can be pregnant with his kid! Im so stupid for believing all his lies. He told me he loved me and that we're gonna last for a long time..and we only lasted for a month. I was scared I might be pregnant & I was sad the whole week. I started smoking & I didn't care about my grades. But Yesterday, I got my period and we barely broke up one week ago. I was so happy. Im going to take this as a learning experience.
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