Searching for "think"

385 Results For 'think'

A Red Head

March 31, 2017 @ (Canada)

As long as I can remember I belive my personality said more about myself rather than my appearance.Â Growing up what ever style it was, weather "grundge", "punk" or "gangster" my only real feature that stood out was my red hair. Though I wouldn't alow these styles to define me as a person I often felt predgism. This feeling often played a part in choices and morality as I grew up to never judge a book by its cover, and try to veiw things logic ly from Nemours perspectives. This led me to having a lot of friends from very diferent walks of life. This is the story of my last relationship spanning three years, from the time I met and fell in love with her at first sight, to my life right now, falling apart and absoltly hating myself. I am an asshole.

For some time, at the age of 23, I had been struggling with my housing situation. I was a first year heavy duity mechanic with two years experiance working maintenance for a pretty large transportation company in an oil city. Growing up here my entire life had given me at a young age a veiw into the world of drugs, gluttony, and a lot of narrow minded people just trying to stay busy and get by. During this time, the geting by was alright. The economy was booming and at this time were you to leave your job three more opertunity opened up. The realy problem at this point where the housing situation made it dificult was juggling my job and dealing with a series of drug addicted roomates. One of witch during the 2012 incident was telling me how he was goig to eat me. After that moved in with a friend growing up from high schools familie. Let's just say there was a series of murders going on with a particular gang that growing up i was affiliated through.Â That was a unsafe fucked up situation I don't wish to discuss to much about Friends dieing and going to jail. This made me become more distant from more and more friends and focusing on my career.
Eventually, after some time couch serfing and sleepig in my car I had moved in with a two co workers. It was a old and small house, but it was nice. It was me and a coworker up stairs. My room was pink. Another country worker and his lesbian cousin and her other down stairs. With all that said, this is the setting of my tale. Where I first met her.
My roomate had started going through a dark period after his girlfriend had left him because he relapsed on meth. His down ward spiral kept geting worce and worce. Living with a meth head is the most unpleasant living I had delt with. Money, belonging, go missing, weird people come over. Mood swings. To cope with it I had began drinking more. Eventually he had lost his job and there was little I wouldn't do to get out of the house and meet new people. After one night at the bar I get back home fairly early. Being drunk and hearing music from un known origin I begin to follow it into the basement.Â My down stairs roomates were having a few drinks and the girl I was in love with is there.
My first words to her were, " Oh your friends with those two? Are you a lesbian as well, because I think your cute."
She wasn't a lesbian. She was queer. Not that I realy understood much of that at the time. We ended up making out and I drove her to work the next day. I latter find out she had recently decided to transition into a man and begin her hormones. I was pretty sad that this girl who I just met that I already had feelings for was undergoing a change that wouldnt lead anywhere for us.
Regardless of where we both stood about my feeling we began hanging out. And for a time, a beautifle friendship blossomed. She inspired me to be myself, not let others take advantage of me, to stick up for myself have faith in making the right choices to better myself. I soon moved out of the house and got a small town house with my best friend growing up. For a time things seemed pretty good. How ever, I knew this girl I was already in love with and knew things how they were wouldn't last forever... nothing good lasts for ever, and once again things would get rocky. this is the end of part one.

Noah

March 29, 2017 @ (MN)

Tags: Bad breakup

I am a young and lovesick boy, one that thought online dating over a game was a good idea. I thought it was silly and rather joke like at first, until I absolutely fell for a girl. I was in love. I wanted her. I needed her. She felt the same way and eventually we started texting. We had plans of marriage, further romance, college, and so much more. Then one day I had gotten a text from her that said nothing more than, "I'm literally in tears rn...". I said "what's wrong baby?" No reply. "Are you there?" No reply. "Please don't tell me what I think happened happened..." Once more, no reply. I soon got a text message from her mother saying I was forbidden from ever talking to her daughter again. I fell into tears immeadiately. I deleted the game, and am still recovering from it. Please everyone...be careful of what you do on the internet...you may end up very hurt. Thank you for reading my awful breakup story...

Kathrya

March 19, 2017 @ (Cambodia )

Tags: Break up

when I was 17 years old , i studied in grade 12 . Me and my best friends were created a fake facebook account to chat to each other for fun . We were young n like to do Sth weird . My fake facebook account named Sith . After created for a month . I stop playing it but a months later when I was so bored , so I logged in to that account again . I saw one message from a strange guy " hello , nice to be ur friend " since last 2 weeks . I replied him n we started chat . He was so friendly and cute . From day to day we chat without non stop . One day he told me that he is in love with a girl , should he confess or not ? I told him to be brave go ahead tell her how u felt she probably love u too . A moment letter I saw a message " I love you sith " . I felt so sad and shock . I don't know what to do . I crushed on him since the first week we chatted I know it was fast but I couldn't help it . I did not reply him n he said again " I give u time , it's okay just tell me when u can think of what u decide " . I started to think hard . A week later I decided to do this stupid things but only a week n I'll tell him everything . Then I told him I love him too . We were a couple that anyone could jealous . Even though we never see each other but the love was deeply hard . A week later I started to fall harder n harder so I promised myself only one more months . Time goes by n I can't let him go . One day he begging me to talked Skype but I always find excuse to lie him . Seven months later I told him everything n he said " I know since the 3rd months of our love " I was so shocked that he knew but didn't say anything until that day . Next week after I told him I saw he put in a Realtionship with other girl . I was so sad n he said it wasn't real she just need him to hurt her ex . N then he blocked me in Facebook until now . When I message him to ask the detail story . He said move on , stop thinking about me but he told me not to change phone number . It's 2 years now since we broke up but I still deeply in love with him. Love with him was the best one in my life .

I Fell Out Of Love (The Scariest Thing You Can Do)

March 12, 2017 @ (U.S)

Tags: So sad it\'s almost funny, sad break up, don\'t cry while reading this,

When you read this story, I am certain you're going to think I am an idiot, But I promise if you give it a read, it will all tie together.

When I was 15 (he was 14), I thought I met the love of my life. We did everything together. I grew up dating him essentially all of high school. For reference, we are in the same grade. I experience so much of my life, shared everything with him.

You could say that over the course of almost 4 years of dating, we became inseparable. The inside jokes, the traditional dates, the teasing, the flirting, we had something special. But of course, over the last year of dating, the fighting only got worse. We had also been known to have a few huge fights here or there, but in all honesty, fighting is okay. But it came to a point for me that I realized I had simply had enough, I was tired of arguing with him. I was exhausted from telling him that he shouldn't ignore me, or that he should actually want to see me more.

He never was overly affectionate towards me during the last year. It had seemed that we were two ships that could not stop one storm after the next. On our 3.5 year anniversary, he asked to take a break because he had been so tired of me. He cut off all communication with me for days. I was devastated. I couldn't think or sleep. I had never felt more crushed. However, when he came to my doorstep with flowers and an apology, I felt like he had changed.

And he did. He wanted to plan our dates, talk to me more, call me, anything. It was one of the best points of my relationship, those few months. However, it wasn't enough, because to me, something was missing. I didn't love him anymore. I can't express to you what it feels like to wake up one morning, and you see this person you've always loved, but you feel different. I had fallen out of love. When I chose to break up with him, after taking a week of a break to clear my head.

He was devastated. I had hurt him so much, and it wasn't something I could help him with. Because I did that. But I could never force myself to love someone when I did not. Over the next months, we were friends. We did not want to hate each other, or be like every other ex. So we were close friends. He had made me agree that we shouldn't date for the rest of the school year, that way it would be easier on us. So I agreed. I figured, it was the least I could do, right?

Then, I found out he had been dating a girl. The worst part, was it was a girl he spent my entire relationship telling me he hated. So I assumed she was never a threat. The pain I felt/feel is the most intense sadness I could have ever felt. It's comparable to the time he didn't know if he loved me. I didn't eat right or sleep well for almost an entire week. Nothing has hurt me more.

In fact, I am still hurt because of the recency of this, as I type this, I have been tear filled, dry throat, and head throbbing. I think what is sad, was for the first time in a long time, I was starting to feel like I had missed him, and I was going to tell him that week, but then I found out he was dating someone else. The most unfortunate about all this, is I lost not only a boyfriend in this entire process, but now I have lost a friendship. We don't talk anymore. I dearly hope that will change, because he doesn't know the magnitude of how hurt not only I feel, but the rest of his friends, because suddenly, none of us exist. What hurts is I will never stop caring about him, no matter how much I hate him for the moment, I will always care. But now I have never felt more devastated. I want to tell myself I deserve it for breaking up with him, but I wasn't happy dating anymore. Do I deserve this?

Silly Girl

March 04, 2017 @ (Taiwan)

Tags: Sad breakup, silly breakup, silly girl, unimaginable breakup

When I was 13, I meet my ex in high school. I remember in the first class, we look at each other and smile which is the moment i remember until now. Those time, when young soul are pure and kind.. When time passes. We had a crush on each other, we knewit but we never confess it.

5 years later where we both are 19, we got together, he is my first love, while im not his first love. He went into several relationship during that 5 years. We were both in a long distance relationship(LDR) as at the year 19 people start going to college in University. I stayed local to further study, while he were in the State.

When we first separated, we fully committed to maintain this uneasy relationship, because i believe in fate. For those who been in a LDR, will know that how stressful, insecure, it is. It brings a lot of stress to me. At the first 4 months it was okay, and after that he start to playing missing, like for a whole day. Dint reply my text, dint pick up my call and dint even told me that when he is awake and when he is going to sleep. The time different between us is horrible, it was me that stay up till midnight to wait for him to wake up, but ended up receiving nothing. This kind of ignorance and gone missing go on and off continuously till another 6 months.

At the 10th month of LDR, i received an odd message from him. It was some very rude words, saying that I am a bitch. And then I realized that it sent by another girl through his phone. At that moment, my heart felt apart. My heart was broken. I cried and call him to explain everything, he told me that he was actually with the girl when he is in the State. He throw all the responsibilities to me to settle all this mess. Ask me to make the decision. I was mentally and physically being tortured. Everything was in a complete mess. His cheating partner was crying and screaming while we having phone call and I am really not under a sober condition to settle this mess. And I decided to hang up the call since I cannot think comprehensively towards everything. After the night, he keep send me sorry words, saying that he din't mean it, saying that he still love me, and a lot of sentences that mentally hurt me a lot. He spam and spam and spam.. every single day and act like he is the one who got hurt. MAN!! I am the one who silently being hurt all the time, every single time! 6 days after the messy break up, his cheating partner texted me, asking me to give him another chance, and told me that he was sick, asking me to send him some warm messages. I cried every single day, i cried a lot. The pain that both of them gave me is unbearable. It's like a knife stuffed into my heart and slowly twisting.

And finally I decided to text him, because I still love him at that point, he cried and beg me, asking me to give him another chance. Because I still love him, and we are back together. Same thing happened, okay at the first month was so good. And the following months he was playing missing. Finally at the third month he wanted to break up, and he said that he is in love with someone else. And we never contacted ever since.

After the break up, I couldn't sleep well at night. I always had nightmares, felt lonely and sad. When I look into the mirror i asked "What now? Am I not good enough?" "Why does being kind people will still get hurt?". All the question i asked, but non of them gave me an answer. Those sadness and insecurities haunted me quite a long time. It started to effect my health.

And after 4 months, someone with him told me the truth, the person told me that he had a lots of girlfriend before and after he gets back with me, all those classes, working timetable and trips with friends that he told me as an excuses of can't make a video call was actually going out have fun with a lots of chicks! Truth hurt. Truth really hurt like hell. I burst into tears when I knew this. I always thought that both of us need a closure, but the pain he gave me that feelings just wont go away. After the truth, and I finally realized that he doesn't deserve my tears. It is not worth to cry for him. Love yourself first girls!

Xoxo Best wishes

Anonymous Gal

March 01, 2017 @ (Singapore)

Tags: #breakup

When I was in university, I went on exchange overseas. Being a shy and quiet girl, I was prepared to spend the 4 months there alone by myself and doing things independently. Perhaps, god loves to spoil your plans because I ended up spending almost all my time with a boy from another country that I met there. I don't usually get along easily with people but somehow we just clicked and I really enjoyed his company. Though it wasn't by any means official, he started treating me the way you would your girlfriend. He sweet-talked me by calling me the "prettiest girl", persuading me to run errands for him, and I started to think something was amiss because it appeared that he was spending all his time when he was not with me, with another girl. I started to be very skeptical and suspicious of him though I had already fallen for him. Soon I noticed that this girl appeared to be runniing the errands he asked me to run for him.
Then she mocked me with him one day and making it very clear that she didn't want him or herself anywhere near me, when I met up with him later that day... He pretended like nothing had happened and even asked me to accompany him one on one to day trips to various tourist destinations. One day, he even asked me out and tried to persuade me into entering a sexual relationship with no strings attached. I was shocked because I was a very good girl who never had a boyfriend and I had never heard of anything like that. He dropped the idea perhaps knowing he had gone too far. I started to plan to dump him.
We had already signed up for two tours together to see some interesting sights so I planned to dump him after the tours. I made up my mind not to have anything to do with him.
It would have ended like that but no, he started messaging me and asking me out again. I told him straight in the face my issues and highlighted to him that "I may like him" because of the way he behaved. He had the cheek to act like he was attracted to me. Staring deeply into my eyes and telling me to "chase him, buy him something"
I obviously would not do that.
He and his other girlfriend were as close as ever and mocking, intentionally avoiding me when together refusing to sit with me in the dining hall.
I decided to try my best to find out what was going on. Was he cheating on, doing things behind my back he knew would hurt me and lying to me? I asked him if he was together with the girl. He denied it vehemently.
Finally, the day when it all ended came. We were friends on MSN and I decided to prank him in a final effort to find out the truth. I mock-pretended that I was truly heartbroken to fool him in hope of him telling me the truth that he had been doing things behind my back. Instead, he replied me by telling me I was never his friend and that he could not be bothered should anything happen to me. He denied that he had said those stuff previously and said that he said some of them to intentionally hurt my feelings. I was outraged!
Recently, I found out he was getting married to that girl. He had been lying, cheating on me outright. I had no buisiness to be his girlfriend, I entered his life wanting to be his friend because we could get along. He was the one who started behaving like I was his girlfriend. He did things behind my back that he knew would hurt me but he still did it. I have no words for such a disgusting jerk.

Anonymous1

February 28, 2017 @ (Ontario)

Tags:

My hs sweetheart lived 5 min away. We went to different schools, had different friends. She had a lot of guy-friends; I didn't fully understand it but didnt let it bother me. I just chalked it upto her sporty nature so she was always associated with them. One day one guy friend (a few yrs older) invited her out for lunch with him and his business partner. She called me after lunch to tell me her friend's parter kept hitting on her, saying things like "You should dump your bf, I will treat u better, I have money, a bmw, you need a real man". My gf responded with "no thanks I love my bf". I commended her and thought this guy sounds like a real douche.

A week or so later she called me out of the blue to break up with me. All she could do is blame my character flaws and other things. I am too possessive, controlling, we dont do anything, etc. All of this was a surprise as we never discussed anything like this before, I was totally dumbfounded that she was saying this. Anytime I tried to explain myself it was responded with coldness and more blame. I was devastated, confused, crushed. Anytime I reached out to her for closure she would either ignore me or be cold. I decided to write her a heartfelt letter and deliver it personally to her mailbox one night. I pulled upto her place and she was standing on the drive. I got out and said that I am not stocking, I just wanted to deliver a letter to her mailbox and be on my way. To my surprise she was very spunky (it was the 1st time I saw her face to face since the break). She says "hey np! How are u? I'm just waiting for my friend to pick me up". We made small talk for 2 mins until we hear this car screeching around the corner and ripping up the street. Guess what car it is? yup..... Mr. Bmw. "My friend is here, gotta go..bye!" That was it.

I was crushed

She called me later that night after reading the letter, crying and apologizing because she had commitment issues (supposidly). She never mentioned bmw boy but we talked it out and started again. Things were ok for a bit but I'll admit that I didn't fully trust her anymore. One days she asked for me to come along with her to a coffee shop to meet her friends. I came along and it was full of guys, not 1 female. 10 male friends of hers. I just sat there and watched her prance around from 1 guy to the next...mingling. I just sat there in silence thinking wtf is this? After 30 min or so she said we should go. Upon driving her home she kept rubbing my leg and had a smirk on her face saying "it's ok I knew u felt uncomfortable which is why I suggested we leave". Her whole demeanor was showing she was getting great satisfaction out of my supposed discomfort, and it was some sortof test/game.

Another time she had a 30yr old male "friend" invite her to a bar for a work party (she was 19) and asked me to go with her. I told her I wasnt up to it but go along and have fun. She kept questioning why I didnt want to go. I just kept being dismissive...told her to go, I wasnt feeling good..whatever. She refused to let it go until I finally caved and said "honestly, we are 19...I dont feel the urge to go hang out with your 30 yr old male friends. Within a cpl days she was breaking up with me again... over the phone.

I'm much older now, married to a wonderful lady, with wonderful kids. I'll never forget those days though.

Dammie

February 26, 2017 @ (Ec)

Tags: Bad breakups , sad break ups

Me and my ex , we met 5 years ago we were so in love , was the first time in my life I had boyfriend ( I was 22 y.o ) he treated me like no other ever... I was facing depression and he took me out of it ... after almost 2 years , he texted me saying he was getting enough of me and that he didn't loved me anymore wasn't the first time ,I did begged him before not to leave me anyways he did I was in a terrible depression for over 3 months I didn't almost left my house or my room I cried all the time he then texted me saying he wanted to remain friends I said yes because I still had feelings for him , he sometimes talked about a girl saying was like hypothetical situation . A month later I found out he was dating ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS , i couldn't believe it everything made sense then she never apologized he didn't told me into my face either , cried and yelled to him the pain I was experiencing became unbelievable, after a month he texted me again saying sorry and all and that he was having a really bad time with his family and needed me , at first I sent him to hell but because I'm so stupid I kept contact and tried to help him out 4 months later he was having issues with his current gf ( my ex friend) and turned still to me saying that he understood now who really loved him , to make it short we came back together I forgave him but things weren't that great since I was all the time afraid that he might cheat again he was patient but sometimes he wouldn't pick the phone and it rang as occupied very late at night . He would go freaking mad if i would quise took him about it ,he kept saying I was being crazy that he was sleeping as always I apologized all the time we went on a wonderful trip to Asia and was wonderful , after that I made some decisions of my career that he didn't liked much but accepted , he travelled a lot because of his job , I even fought him looking for prostitutes when he was in Vietnam , to which he said I was being mental because he didn't do anything and I was going through his privacy , i always caught him trying to talk to other woman and was exhausting ,he cried and everything so I decided to believe him always , so I gave up and became that kind of woman that he could yell at and say I was stupid , that kind of woman that couldn't be angry because he didn't replied in 7 hours but he could be mad at me for not doing it in 10 minutes , I was being called stupid ,asshole etc etc every time I tried to ask about something .... one day we fought so badly that we didn't talked for 1day , I felt the end coming and felt pity for myself I loved him so much but I cried every single day and couldn't do anything in any other aspect of my life , I texted him finally being so afraid telling him that he could decide our future since he last words to me were "I want to break up with you so many fucking times but I don't say it" I told him I would do what he decides ,fight one more time or end ... he asked me time to think , 2 days later or silent I asked him ,he said was hard that he loved me but he made me cry and sometimes he didn't even felt bad about it ... anyways he broke up and broke my heart for second time...
Now one month later , i get to know that he is talking to another girl , younger prettier... and even I was doing okay and slowly not crying for him . I went back to the pain of the first time we broke up , that pain in your chest that won't go , the feeling of the tears going down your face without you even noticing, because I still love him and miss him like I did almost 5 years ago

EponaSaysHai

February 22, 2017 @ (Covina, CA)

Tags: Worst break up ever

I fell in love with my best friend. He was a sweet and kind boy that loved to help people. And he loved me back. I knew he did because he treated me like I was special. He said things that no one who saw you as just a friend would say. 4 months of magical romance that everyone saw but we didn't want to admit was there. Finally one day we told each other how we felt and all our friends were so happy for us. I had never been happier in my life. We loved each other. At first it was cute puppy love, I guess you could say, but when my growing depression finally got ahead of me, we found out how much we truly loved each other. He cared for me unlike anyone I've known. The puppy love became a romance and passion that we had building up inside of us for months. We were completely in love with each other even if we both hated ourselves. We were each other's reasons for living. And I can't tell you how many times we were so close to giving up but saved each other. I'll never forget that day I wanted to kill myself and he told me that he loved me and I meant everything to him. That I changed his life for the better. That summer, 3 months after we first confessed to each other, was depressing because we missed each other dearly. School was the only time we got to see each other. Then one day I got my phone taken away. The only way I could contact him was through text. For 2 weeks I sometimes secretly went in my phone to text him. It was brief but those moments were everything to me. Then... 5 days after our 5 month anniversary, I got my phone back. I texted him happily and he replied. But he was depressed. I asked him why and he refused to tell me. I hadn't talked to him in 3 days at the time so anything could've happened. I finally got him to tell me what was wrong and he said.... "I think I'm gay..." I was in shock. And when he said he liked me as a friend, I wanted to throw my phone and just kill myself. I struggled to stay calm for his sake. If I showed how much it hurt, he would regret telling me even more. I told him I needed to be alone. I was in public, totally unprepared for any tragic news. But slowly as reality sunk in, I couldn't hold back against the tears that threatened to pour. I excused myself to the restroom where I cried so hard I couldn't breathe because I tried to stay quiet. I didn't feel anything but pain and sadness. For the next few weeks, he begged me to move on. He was extremely sad and was angry at himself for breaking my heart. He even said he wish had never said anything at all. But I would've found out one day. He wouldn't love me anymore and I would be able to tell. School started and we were friends who pretended we were fine. No one asked about our relationship. Only one person did but we ignored them. It's funny. A lot of people keep asking us if we are dating. No one asked when we actually were. He isn't the same anymore. He isn't positive anymore. He shuts down when he's sad and only talks to his therapist. He used to talk to me. I dont know what we are at the moment. Sometimes I see my boyfriend again in the way he looks at me. Sometimes I see my best friend. But sometimes I see my ex boyfriend, the broken shell of the person I once knew and loved. I still love him to this day.

If you ever hear about a break up where the boyfriend finds out he's gay and the girlfriend is sad, don't laugh. It sounds humorous, but when it becomes your reality and the thing that tears you apart everyday, you won't be laughing. In these cases, there's little to no chance of getting back together. And it hurts like hell.

Dont Wanna Say..

February 11, 2017 @ (USA)

Tags: bad break up need advice help me

my ex and i dated for about two months and we recently broke up Monday of this week (2/6/17). I experienced true love for the first time in my life. I thought of him as the most amazing person i had ever laid eyes on. Since the beginning of the relationship, we grew up a lot. We started dating when we were 15 years old. and we are now 17. I did so much for him, i paid for the majority of dates, gave him money because he would need it and i constantly prioritized him, putting him before everything. I let him come between my family and friends. He was my first, i lost my virginity to him a year ago on valentines day. he did many things that were bad in the beginning of the relationship but i managed to hang on to the relationship because he begged and pleaded for me to stay. Now i am broken. I have a 4.7 GPA , i can get into any college i want to in North Carolina, i have an amazing job making great money and a great family and an awesome bestfriend. But i can't be happy without him. I feel like i absolutely need him in my life to feel okay. I really have put my happiness on the backburner for him. For months he has been canceling plans for friends and he would sleep through our plans bc he was out super late the night before, i felt like i wasnt important and he would be really mean when i tried to talk to him about it, calling me needy and saying "why can't u just be understanding and say okay sometimes" he would yell at the top of his lungs and blame the fact that he had no nicotine and thats why he was being that way to me. He doesn't go to school anymore (so a drop out) spends every dime on his truck making me have to pay for his food and gas and dates. he never treated me right yet he broke up with me monday and blocked me on everything. i begged and pleaded for him to stay for 2 days then i went no contact on him and havent spoken since wednesday to him. i know for a fact that he loves me. i just want him back. i think i have learned a lot about myself and i have been through more pain than i can begin to describe. Will he come back to me? our connection when we were together was so strong. this boy literally has our date tattooed on his wrist and he had given me a promise ring promising me forever. help me someone please just give me advice. i need to know if you think he will come back or not. how can you spend 2 years with someone to drop them this way?