Searching for "because"

550 Results For 'because'

Rogue

September 25, 2012 @ (ontario canada)

Our love stories begins in September 2010. How fitting it ends now.

I will be honest and tell you that I didn't deserve his love the first year we were together and if I could find a way to take that time back. I would. A bit of history - he is 10 years younger than I (I am female). Although our maturity levels were in sync age (until recently) was never an issue. (It was something that troubled me. And because of that created unnecessary stress).

He worked full time, I was in school full time and worked two part time jobs. I have two children. One was 11 at the time the other 16. I had made the decision prior to even meeting him that I wasn't going to just introduce my kids to just anybody. I needed to know he was going to stick around. I didn't want to be one of those parents who bring partners in and out of their childrens lives. One year I told him when we met. I would introduce him after one year.

My family and friends disaproved of our relationship because it was interacial and because he was so young. I fell under the pressure. And ended it in December 2010. It didn't last long. We both loved each other and to end a relationship for others seemed wrong. Yet I always put my family and friends needs before his.

He lived 45 min away and was always ready willing and able to see me at the drop of a hat if I was free. Free time was something I didn't have much of and I soon began to resent the fact that all my time was consumed making someone happy, either my family, my children or him. I began to resent how much time he wanted from me.

I felt I had nothing to give in the first place. In May 2011 I noticed there was a girl he worked with that he was msging daily. I confronted him and he deleted her from bbm and facebook immediately no questions asked. The fact that I was uncomfortable made him do it. Why couldn't I do the same for him. I had a 20yr friend who made him uncomfortable and rightly so but I didn't do the same for him and he didn't push me. I know it hurt him.

I chose soding the back yard with family on a night we should have been together because my obligation to family was stronger to my obligation to him.

I could list several situations where this was the case. All of which now, I regret.

In july he lost his job. Money became tight and I found myself frustrated at the fact that he was playing video games all day while I worked my butt off just to make ends meet.

When september came time to meet the children my son had a death in his class, then his aunt was diagnosed with cancer and died shortly after. Excuses I know. But I wanted my son to be in a good spot prior to meeting him.

In december, he still had not met my son, still didn't work, was borrowing $$ from friends family and me who didn't have any to begin with. I ended things again.

Naturally we ended up back together in januay. But this time roles had switched. I realized how much I loved him and wanted to be with him and I was ready to share my life with him. Every aspect. The things I hesitated doing before I did without hesitation including getting rid of that 20yr friend. But now, he was distant. He was reserved. He was worried. I tried everything I could to make up for the wrongs that I had done.

The things he requested were unreasonable we both know it but I did it. Some of the things he asked me to do I am so ashamed that I did. Most, I will never tell a living soul because I am so disapointed in myself.

I hadn't seen him in 6 weeks. We hadn't slept together in 3 months, he was refusing to meet my kids still. Then on friday when I was supposed to spend the weekend at his house, he sent me a bbm msg while I was at work I am a manager of an employee and it was his first day. He didn't even give me a chance to respond before he deleted me on bbm. Blocked my emails and my phone number and I haven't heard from him since.

Why is it I love him so. Why is it I can forgive him anything now, but that first year we were together I couldn't give him what he deserved!

Farrah

September 23, 2012 @ (CA)

Tags: breakup

FROM MY DIARY: MY BOYFRIEND, THE ADDICT

I need to laugh right now, even though I feel like crying. You see, the man I love is an addict. Piece by piece, he’s breaking my heart. I think this might be over.

For the time being, though, I figure laughter is the best medicine. So I’m trying to focus on the crazy man outside with the abrasive voice, yelling on the phone in a language I can’t understand. At the same time, I’m reading these break-up stories on an online support group for damaged relationships, wondering how on earth I got here.

I’m trying to remember the things I'm grateful for, which is hard to do in a time like this. My therapist tells me to do this when I feel down. It helps me shift into a more positive mindset. I need to look at the things I DO have in my life and stop focusing on what I've lost - because I can’t stop thinking about Ryan* and about how much I miss the person he used to be.

I feel like I lost him even before the new girl "friend" came along. However, I know she’s only a piece of this crazy puzzle. The old Ryan would never have hurt me that way. He never would’ve lied to me about seeing her. He never would’ve blamed me for his own mistakes.

For the past couple months, I’ve had that gut instinct, telling me something wasn’t right. I could already feel him starting to slip away, and I keep remembering the person who once loved and adored me, and who thought I was beautiful and amazing. I miss the way he used to hold me, kiss me, talk to me for hours. He said he wanted to be with me forever, and I wanted his face to be the first thing I saw each morning, every day for the rest of my life. I never told him that – but I felt it in my heart. He inspired me to be a better person. I miss that man.

When I met him over a year ago, he’d first gotten sober. Gradually, he changed into a brand new person. A light appeared in his eyes; he was truly happy. He went to AA, got a sponsor, and was taking steps toward a brighter future. What went wrong?

It hurts so badly to watch him change. I watch as he stumbles through the darkness of his addiction, sloppy step-by-step, and I can’t do a thing. The pain cuts like a knife, but I’m trying not to feel it. I’m trying to be strong. I don't even know him anymore. He can't see the way he hurts me. While he's this way, he can't see anything else. He’s locked in the grip of denial – in a world that is cold and black. Until he wants help, he won’t get better, and right now he doesn’t believe anything is wrong.

I can't go on this way with him. I love him more than words can say, but I have to love myself enough as well.

I have to realize that the person I'm leaving behind isn’t the man I fell in love with. Instead, he’s a stranger, and all I have are memories of someone I once loved with all my heart.

I watch him wrestle within his own skin, and wallowing in the pits of self-imposed misery. He can't even see what this does to me. He'll only get better when the pain of staying the same outweighs his fear of change.

Unless he’s willing to be honest with himself, he’ll never change, and things between us will continue to deteriorate.

As long as he’s in this mode, he’s capable of anything. He expects my trust without being trustworthy. He expects results and rewards without doing anything to earn them. It isn’t realistic, but he can’t see that now – not the way the old Ryan would. I guess it’s impossible to see the entire picture while you’re standing in it.

A part of me still believes in him. He pushed through this before, and he became an amazing person because of it. It's hard to watch something so beautiful waste away before your eyes. It’s even harder to walk away.

Whatever happens, I do believe that everything happens for a reason - even if I can't see what that is right now. One day, maybe I'll understand. And one day - just maybe - the man I love will come back to me.

Gabor

September 07, 2012 @ (Maryland)

Tags: Sad, Betrayal

My story is a bit unique and is way too long to tell here, but I will link a video in this post. I never once dated in my life because I wanted to wait until I was old enough and mature enough to handle a relationship. I met my ex when I was near 16 and right of the bat I was there for her when she was dragged up from FL. to MD. because her mom wanted to be with her high school sweetheart. I did everything for this girl and she moved in within a month of meeting. We lost each other's innocence to one another. Later she would get sick of MD and eventually just leave and say we would do long distance. She never liked to talk and was slowly changing. She went from a sweet innocent girl to one of those general f***ed up teens today. She told me she would see me so I flew down to Florida at age 17, only for her to change her mind. Like I said there is too much to speak of in this box. I have a video that's 2 hours long for those of you that actually want to hear what happened. I'm trying to get through to her with support from the world that she changed for the worse because I don't want to lose her. YouTube link http://youtu.be/3YNYrCkXP48

Lexi

August 25, 2012 @ (USA)

Tags: Jerk, valentines day

Ok so, I've liked this one guy for a while and one day, he asks me out. I'm so excited and he asked in the sweetest way. But I'm not here to talk about how he asked me, I'm here to tell you how he ended it 4 days later.... On valentines day! I walk into school all happy because I had a boyfriend and I loved him (remember I said I've been crushing on this guy for a while. A while being 4 years!) I see him in the hall and wave to him. One of his friends pulls me a side and says "He told me to tell you it was a dare..."
I cried in the middle of class and my best friend literally had to push me out of my chair so that way it looked like I hit my ankle falling or something (she's awesome) so she helps me to the nurse where I tell the nurse my story, when of all people in walks him. My friend gives him the dagger eyes. And I flip him off when the nurse turns her back. It felt good ^_^

Lauren

August 22, 2012 @ (Maryland)

Tags: (highschool, religion)

So it was a nine month relationship. We were friends for about a year before. We finally decided to hook up the week of homecoming. But it turned out to be something a lot more. He asked me out at the homecoming game. Since then we've been together and in love. I helped him through so much. His parents fight constantly, he was adopted, he has self worth issue but so do I. We helped each other out. We were happy together and we promised each other to stay forever. We thought we were going to get married. We thought we had so much time. We even lost our virginity to one another.
So he went to church camp for a week about a month ago. He came back wanting a break. No explanation, no answers, no nothing. He changed completely. He always used to say that he believed in God but not in religion. Now he's a legit conservative Catholic. He says "Sex is bad." He thinks he has to break up with me because of his religion. The experience at camp changed him. It's like my old guy is there but he's not. Like he's asleep and soon he's going to wake up and have no one. He thinks the world is a perfect place where only nice people exist because that's how it was at camp.
I don't know how to get through to him. But all he says now is 'idk'. Ten months and he's willing to throw it all away... I get the feeling he isn't telling me something. I'm so fed up with guys being assholes. He was different though.

Alygna

July 29, 2012 @ (USA)

Tags: jonah, angela

It started when i was at a church walkathon deal and i volunteered to join.My sister and i went because we knew jonahs bro jordan was going to b there so we thought it was a great oppertunity to hang out or whatever. And i ended up meeting jonah he was 15 and i was 14.We instantly hitted off, after i left the church convention i went home and thought about him.Days pasted and i thought id never see or hear from him again.I finally became desperate and looked him up on facebook and added him.To my suprise he quickly accepted.We started comunicating and ended up dating the same day we had our first kiss.During the 2months and a week of which we dated we never fought or anything i believed it to be too good to be true.Sadly jonah got grounded for 4 weeks and during thos weeks i became lonely and cheated on him with another guy.Jonah never found out until he broke up with me because he said he never had any feelings for me since the start.I cried for days and never forgave myself for what ive done to him..

Confused Again..

July 28, 2012 @ (wv)

Tags: cheating, confused

Well, followed some advice from my last post on here, telling me to move on from my ex. I finally started dating someone else, only for her to try to push th relationship far too quickly. So that ended poorly. After a week after we broke up i decided to give her another chance, this time in a matter of a month she started cheating on me. So now i'm wary as to even date anyone anymore. Any advice from anyone on getting back up on my feet for a third time? Btw, it's not easy for me to find a girl that is willing to date me because, according to some, i'm too "nice" of a person...

Christa

July 19, 2012 @ (Corpus Christi, Tx)

Tags: Birthday, Scumbag

First off, let me start by saying that this sounds fake, but I promise, every detail is real.

My boyfriend and I had been together for 3 years when I notices he was acting strange. We were out of state visiting his family for Christmas, when I saw he was receiving texts from the slutty secretary at 6:30 pm (well after she was off work). I couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong, so the next morning when he was in the shower, I did something I'd never done before in 3+ years together - I checked his texts. She had set him messages, wishing he was in bed with her. He blew it off, but never told her to stop. The worst part is, I work with both of them; she knows me and she knew he and I were together.

We argued all day, but promised eachother to work on our relationship.
He told me I needed to contribute more around the house (even though I work and go to school full-time), and I told him he needed to quit treating me like I was the pile of dung stuck to the bottom of his shoe.

Fast forward to February - I found out I was getting laid off April 30th. This caused alot of stress on my part, as I was losing my only source of income. I decided to use the layoff as an excuse to go to school full time, living off of whatever student loans I could get. I told him that my financial contributions would be minimal, but he was incredibly supportive.

Fast forward to April 29th - It's his birthday. I scrimped and saved from my last few paychecks and spend over $300 on him. I baked him cookies (because he preferred that over cake), and settled down at 1:00 to work on some homework. An hour later, he breaks up with me, knowing I'm losing my job the next day.

He broke up with me on his birthday, after I'd given him over $300 in gifts, knowing that the next day I'm losing my job, and have no way to support myself.

The worst part is, It's July now, and I'm still living with him because I can't afford to move out.

I can't wait for December.

J. Dorean

July 16, 2012 @ (CA)

Tags: Breakup

I met Isaiah in school and we started off as friends. I had recently gone through a bad break up, and he was my sounding ear. After a while a romance bloomed between the two of us. I knew I shouldn't have gotten involved with him because I kept having this feeling that it was all just "too good to be true". However, I ignored the feeling and allowed myself to fall in love with him. He assured me he loved me too, would never hurt me, and that we would always be friends no matter what. I still had that gut feeling though and when he had a phone call from a name I didn't recognize that feeling grew. I asked him if there was anyone else and he promised me there wasn't. I found out later that Isaiah was also involved with two other women. I was and still am completely heartbroken. I feel as if he targeted me, he lied to me, and what's worse we aren't even friends anymore.

CC

July 11, 2012 @ (HK)

Tags: breakup, ow

I'm 15 years old, he's 16. Let's call him by his initial, D. We started as good friends, and it slowly morphed into something more, like he would say 'I miss you', when I went out with friends and stuff. We had a common friend, my best friend, and he told me that he liked me, I was relieved because I thought he liked my friend. So we were together for 3 months, we rarely argued and it was all good :) But during the winter holidays, we barely talked, and he left for Japan with just a quick 'oh btw im going to japan'. So when he returned, we talked again over Skype, but I realized something was wrong. He wasn't the same. So I asked him if he liked me, and he said he didn't know, so when I tried to talk it through, he just said brb, cos his friend was calling him. Then when I asked whether we could talk in person, and he said he was busy tomorrow. So he promised to talk the day after. When the day after finally came, he said he was 'too tired in the mornings' and didn't even bother. So we decided on 'a break'. Meanwhile, he went to my best friend for support, though he didn't need it. I, in turn, somehow became close with the friend he had ditched me for, on the day that we broke up. During Easter, we got close again. He started making sexual comments, and touching me..but he never once said he liked me. It was all over by the time Easter ended. I had gotten into a fight with my best friend over my actions in the past year, for she didn't like how I had changed with sadness. It hurt me to see my ex making statuses for her like 'cheer up' or 'go online', But what hurt most was, on his steam profile, he said he loved a special person with a description so fitting her and the things they talk about. I don't know what to do, we still talk but it's awkss. I just need some advice.