Searching for "think"

385 Results For 'think'

AC

October 25, 2011 @ (US)

Tags: indecisive, indecision, flip flop, back and forth

It is apparently over. It feels that way. I have not been able to say the words to her though I think my heart feels it is.

It isn't that I don't love her, its that I am so unsure of what I want for my life that my instincts (or my goddamn brain) won't let me find clarity. Maybe that means I don't love her...I dunno. Or maybe I don't need clarity and I'm just ignoring my instincts which say that this relationship can not work considering the re-evaluation I am undertaking.

I haven't been able to wholeheartedly agree on the direction she would like life to go in...it mostly the children issue. But its not because I'm so against it or worried she isn't good enough to build a life with. I just haven't found a way to say yes or no, to reconcile what I want with what she does so maybe the indecisiveness is my answer.

Even if it means that I change my mind a year from now, I think the answer is "no I can't be what you need and deserve right now." If that's the case and she has a clearer plan for her life, I should let her go so she can find it with someone else. It may be the worst decision of my life and I may regret it but I just can't see a way to put love, attention and energy into this relationship AND try to figure my own shit out.

Part of me feels plain dumb for not having figured myself out at 33, but part of me also doubts that every married with kids person really gave it all as much thought and followed their instincts either. It feels so odd to not inherently agree with the way society goes about relationships, marriage, kids and just maturing in general. Everyone feels like they are on auto-pilot with their life choices. Maybe I'm just trying to make myself feel better about my indecision.

I think in many ways my spirit is flawed, broken...but not irreparable. I will take the time to ask my heart what it really wants and I will keep asking until it responds....because it will. It wants me to be happy and maybe it doesn't even yet know what it wants but when it does, I will fight for it with all I can. I only have one known chance at living. I've got to try and live as best I can. I hate that I don't know that she could represent living life the best way I can, but if we are done and it was a mistake, it just feels like a mistake I have to make, otherwise I am doomed to create the same indecision and same mistakes time and time again.

Just The Way You Are

October 11, 2011 @ (CA)

Tags: Example i

It's not really a break up, Im just in desperate need for advice. It all started October last year. I was staying at one of my mums friends houses and her son and I only knew eachother because of our parents work together. He is 17 and a highschool dropout. I'm 15 and still currently doing my studies. That night he went out with a couple of mates. For some peculiar reason I asked him to wake me when he got home. When he did he woke me and we spooned on his bed talking about whatever came to mind. He was so sweet, a side I've never seen from him before. After that experience we never really spoke again. Until about a week ago when I foundmyself in the same position. This time it got sexual. Only he was to big for me, so we didn't end up having sex. He was the first person id engaged with in doing stuff like that. I wasn't his first though. It was kinda strange. I felt so comfortable around him, I could be myself and not be self conscious like I normally am around others, and all my previous boyfriends. After that night we didn't speak again until two nights ago. I layer with him and drew circles on his leg, it was tickling him, and he was so cute. Just before we fell asleep he grabbed my hand and placed it on his crouch. After that he didnt speak to me ever again. I think I've fallen for him, but I can't help to think that he is just in it for the fun and the sexual side of things. I don't think he admires me as a person.he only admires what I can do with my hands. But his the type of person that if he did have feelings for me, he'd never let me know. His quite a big build. But I really want him to know that I love him for who he is, not what he looks like , or what he has achieved. I love him for him. As simple as it gets. His friends are complete drop kicks. And he values what they think. I have a feeling that's why his holding back. I don't know what to do, and advice would be great?! Thanks xo

Sandy

October 06, 2011 @ (Los Angeles)

Tags: Example 1

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 6 months. There is a fair age difference between us. His 26 and I'm 14 I've known him since I was about 8. I love him more then anything. And he loves me the exact same way. The age difference has always worried us. Everything was going perfectly. But then we had an argument over a phone bill, which he had made after calling my mobile off his parents house phone. I hated it when he spent money on me. Even the slightest bit. He continued to tell me how he was going to pay for it himself. Our relationship was something that no one knew about. And we planned on keeping it that way. It was long distance, but it was a sacrifice we both made. During the argument about the phone bill, he tells me how his mother found out exactly how old I am,after talking to a friend of hers from my home town. He tells me how she refuses to have him live under her roof. at this point I start to cry. Because I knew the outcome. He texted me saying how bad he felt about it, and how he felt like he had broken my heart ( that he did) but he wad going to have to think the situation through, and put our relationship on hold.I didn't reply to that message. And writing this two hours later, I don't plan to. It scares me, because his suffered depression and Suicide has been an outstanding option for him, his always told me that if he ever had to live without me he would kill himself. Lying in bed, I've deleted all his messages, and his number. The only thing stopping us is other people's opinions. I'm worried, and I miss him. I live in a small town, so it wil probably make it's way around anyways.. I really don't know what to do. His so protective, and he hates it when I talk to other boys. Even if it is just a polite conversation. The fact that my bestfriend was a boy means that I've lost him too. At the moment my phones turned off. And I'm just going to stay in bed. Just pray that he makes the right decision.

CaptainMac316

October 01, 2011 @ (USA)

Tags: Sorry, that sucks, That's hilarious

I was dating this girl for almost 5 years. We were high school sweethearts and that continued into college. I get home from work one night and I think it's just a normal night. We are laying in bed watching whatever and she turns to me and says "(Name redacted) we need to talk." My first thought was "Fuck...what did I do now?"
So I ask her "What's up?"
Her response: "I...I found somebody else." I was floored. This was from out of nowhere. Now, as I'm sitting there, I start to think "Where did she find somebody else?" She didn't go to college. She didn't work at the time. She didn't venture out of the house unless she went somewhere with her family. Basically, I was dating a loser. So I asked "Where did you meet this guy?"
She replied, "Online." Ah, that made a lot of damn sense now. So, I ask her "Which site?" I'm thinking like eHarmony or match.com. Her response "I met him in a Harry Potter chat room." My only reaction was to laugh at her. "Are you kidding me?" I asked incredulously. She definitely was not. "What do you talk about on a Harry Potter chatroom? Did he ask you if you wanted to see his wand?" I got no response. Was I said and upset? Yes, but remember, laughter helps out when getting over such things.

Megan

September 24, 2011 @ (MO)

Tags: example1

I started seeing this boy back in April. On our first date he told me he was bipolar. I asked him if he was taking medication for it, and he said no. This, of course, worried me, but I was understanding and empathetic. I continued to talk to him, and we realized that we had many things in common. The more we talked, the more I started to like him. On the third date, he told me that he has been dealing with self-injury for the past six years. I was a little shocked that he would share something so personal to someone he just met, but I took it as a sign that he trusted me enough to tell me these things. He also told me that he didn't think he was in a place to be in a relationship at that moment in his life. I understood. After that date, he continued to text me everyday and we continued to see each other about twice a week. Things progressed very quickly and became very intense. A few weeks later, he told me that he had been diagnosed with boderline personality disorder, and that he also had an eating disorder (which I was starting to suspect). I asked him if he was getting help for any of these things, and he said no. I asked him what I could do to help him, and he said nothing. This was all becoming too much for me, but I had started to develop deep feelings for him, and didn't want to abandon him. I was starting to fall in love with him, and I trusted him enough to have sex with him (he was my first). We talked about us and our relationship, and he was still firm that he didn't want or need a relationship. At that point, however, I felt like we were in one, and was very hurt with his decision not to move forward. We broke up soon after that. At the time I thought we were breaking up because we both wanted different things. I wanted to move forward and start a relationship with him, and he did not.

One week (yes, ONE WEEK) after we broke up, he removed me as a friend on facebook and changed his facebook profile picture to him and this girl. A mutual friend told me that he was "in a relationship' with this new girl. After trying to contact him to figure out what the hell was going on, he simply stated that I was not what he needed.

This whole situation has taught me alot about mental illness and what it means to be romantically involved with someone who has one (or many). If someone tells you they have borderline personality disorder and are not in therapy or seeking any sort of help for it, RUN. If you stay, you will only end up getting hurt. Because they will leave you and replace you in a second.

Heidi Cambridge

September 10, 2011 @ (Boston)

Tags: baby daddy

I am a pre-med student at a large eastern university. Last year, the first day of school I met and fell in love with my biology professor. He was so charming, so handsome and so married. I knew it was wrong but I couldn't help myself.

We immediatly stated a sexual liason right there in his class room. I would come to his room during his prep time, and he would have me bend over his desk and we would make love. He was so rough and violent when we had sex, so masculine, it was an addiction to me. I had never been with a real man who would not play around or slowly try to ackwardly seduce me one button at a time. He would just pull me to him, rip my panties down and slam me. It was so hot. I was so in love!

I never used protection and really didn't think about what would would happen if I got pregnant. For some reason, I guess I didn't think I COULD get pregnant. Well, I was wrong and about 8 weeks into the year I realized I must be pregnant. When I told Professor he said it was my responsibility and I had to be a grown up and handle it. So, I decided to keep it and raise it myself. We continued to have sex every day and he showed me so many ways to explore the limits of my sexuality. We tried bondage and some hard discipline. He used to spank me with a paddle and a whip. It was so erotic and I loved it. But, one day when I was bound over the chair and he was swatting me, I began to bleed rather profusely. He told me to leave and take care of myself.

Later in my dorm room, I miscarried the baby. I called Professor and asked for his help, but he told me it was my problem. I wrapped the fetus in a towel. It was a boy.

I have to admit, it hurt me a lot that he didn't want to take care of our baby. So, I came up with a plan.

The next day we were supposed to do dissections in lab. I came to class and worked on my "project". When Professor came around to check our progress, I present him my work, all arranged on a display board. I told him, loud enough for everyone to hear, "Here's my project, its your son!"

He had me thrown out of school and refused to talk to me or have sex with me anymore. I was hurt and I still think of him when I feel the need for a real man in my life. I miss his firm hands on my body and his "tough love". He will always be special to me as he is the person who made me into a real woman.

Chelsey

September 03, 2011 @ (Canada)

Tags: not mutual

My boyfriend whom I'd spent three years of my life with, decided one morning in the shower that he didn't want to be with me anymore. He got out of the shower, and proceeded to wake me up. He pulled me away from the bed, and held my hands, and it looked like he was going to propose to me. The first words out of his mouth were "I'm sorry, but I don't think we can spend the rest of our lives together. I want you to move out." He never gave me a reason, and he refused to even consider talking it through. He then proceeded to pretend that nothing was wrong whenever our mutual friends were around, and never told a soul about the breakup, leaving all the awkwardness to me.

Nikki

August 31, 2011 @ (texas)

Tags: example 1, example 2

I'd never know that my ex was still in a relationship when he tried to date me. I wasnt interested at first but seeing his effort made my heart melted. So I accepted him in my life. Everything, of course was great at first until one night when he confessed that he was still in another relationship when we started dating.

I was so mad at first but when he explained that his ex is the one who cheated on him first and he also showed some evidence of it (text from that girl), I decided to forget about it and continued with our relationship since I already fell for him (my first love)

Few months later, I further my study in college which is about 400km from my hometown and thats mean I was away from him and could only met him once a month. While I was away, his ex kept trying to win him back and it really annoyed me to death. He said he got no feeling anymore with this girl.

So I just let it slip through my mind. However, one day, he wrongly sent a message to me which the intended user is his ex. In that msg he showed clearly how he still in love with his ex. Our relationship was on the rock. He accused me to be pushy when in fact I was not. I just demanded to know his whereabouts when he didnt call me for few days.

Next thing I know, he married the girl. and I spent 2 years and a half crying about it, when I finally moved on and didnt think about it anymore, his wife sent me a msg through fb and made me reminisce about the bad old things and made my life miserable again. I just wish that both of them will burn in hell.

Cccccc

July 08, 2011 @ (Manitoba)

Tags: Me, he

Read this and tell me if you think that this is right. We where happy together he was happy , I was happy
We were together for almost 5 months and we would always put eachothers feeling first. He mad me so happy, but one night he got really mad , not at me just at life and he sent me a inbox on facebook. Saying that it would be better to be friends and that he didn't love me anymore. This was a day after he told me he loved me 13 times in one day. When we got back to school, he released that he still loved me and made a mistake, so he asked me out. I didn't know what to say so I just said I'll have to think, the day went on and that night he told me that he loved me and would catch a grenade for me and do anything for me but he didn't want to be my boyfriend . 2 days after he asked out my best friend. And it's been at least to months since, I still cry about it .

Miss Boo

July 06, 2011 @ (UT)

Tags: break-up, crazy

The summer before my first year of high school I started dating one of my best guy friends, Jesus. He had been my best friend since the beginning of middle school and we were so close. I had liked him for awhile and he had no idea entire time. Right before school ended he told me that at first the only reason he had started talking to me was because he thought I was just some hot girl he could get with and be done with but after we started talking he realized that I was actually I really funny, nice person that he decided to just be friends with me.
I didn't tell him that I liked him I just said "Oh! That is so sweet, blah, blah, blah." My girl best friend is the one that told him I did because she was mad at me and didn't realize that he liked me a lot and it as actually good news to him. The next day he asked me out and I was more than surprised. I said yes of course and then we started dating.
Not long after that his crazy started coming out. I'd wake up with like 80 text messages from him. If I didn't call him back or answer a message from him in like 5 minutes he would send me 10 half angry half worried. I just wrote it off for awhile. Just thinking he really must love me or he must really be bored.
I had to go out to visit my dad in Alabama for 3 weeks and I told him I probably wouldn't be using my phone that much so he shouldn't worry. That is when he went REALLY crazy. He would send me pictures of my house at like weird times of the day and if I didn't answer he would slice up his arms and legs and send me pictures of it bleeding and gross. It was all just to weird. I told him when I got back we needed to talk in person. He said okay but still kept up the weird stuff. When I got home we went to a park to talk. It was all just a really weird day. I told him we needed to take a little break so I could decide if I wanted to move to Alabama to live with my dad. He went insane.
End of story summed up real quick. He got violent. I had to change my number. Change our locks. Only go outside with someone else and I never stayed home by myself. We almost filed for a restraining order, instead we just got him sent to a different school.