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Cc

May 23, 2012 @ (NA)

I dont know what to do. Here's my story.

I was friends with him for a year and a half before we got together. Even as friends, I knew he likes to manipulate people's feelings so that they do what he wants. He manipulated me into feeling guilty many times before and I knew he wasn't the man I was looking for. But my best friend got together with a guy I had a crush on and I was never going to get. He was recovering from his recent breakup with someone he had a long history with. So I started to go out with him.

It was my first real relationship (I'm 22). When I told my friends and family about him after a month, most of them told me they didn't like him. Some of my friends knew him from school, and warned me about being with him. I did break up with him because of that, but I also felt bad and ran back to beg for forgiveness the next day. It should've ended right there. But I was lonely and I don't like feeling I've been unfair to him.

Then for the next year and a half, we broke up numerous times and got back together the same number of times. There was never a time we were officially broken up for more than 10 days. A year ago, I told my friends and family after a break up that we were done and I never updated them that we got back together again. It was just too much drama and stupidity on my part. After most of the break ups, either of us would just begs the other for forgiveness and another chance. Because there were just too many times that had happened, I actually made a promise to myself that I won't say it again unless I meant it.

For the last two months, I feel that he's been neglecting me and mostly just spending all his time with the people at his business. I knew he really wanted make it a success, so I had gotten involved with his business too, but not helping him as much as he liked. But I was at the office ten hours a week or more until April when I had to concentrate on my exams. A few weeks ago, I realized that I'm nowhere near the top of his priorities, and he won't call or text me during the day because he's "too busy at work".

The catalyst for the break up was he promised to take me to see a movie, but he pushed it back time and time again, and I, being very considerate, allowed it. But that last time, I told him to set a firm date and time, but he just told me not to bother him about it, he's tired, etc. I broke up with him through text after I hung up. That was two weeks ago. I felt sad every day since then, I cry on and off all day and night and sometimes feel that my life is meaningless. But some days i feel fine.

I care deeply for him. We met up last week, and I pretended that I was normal and told him that we can be friends. Last night, I texted him whether I can drop by his place at night (he lives a 5min walk away) and talk. He told me not to. I guess he was right, cuz I just wanted to see him and see how he's doing. Like he isn't a bad person and I learned to be a better person because of him. I just feel that he didn't treat me right, especially in the last months. Maybe he just doesn't love me as much. But I had grown to care for him and think of him everyday during our 1.5yrs together. I think of him constantly and I get teary and cry all the time now.

I want to tell him why I broke up with him and ask why he agreed (we never had a conversation about this). I want to see how he's doing. I want to tell him that of he just changed how he treats me I would stay with him. I think all this time, I've just been wishing that he would change for me since I knew that him as himself is not who I want (am I confusing you? Lol). He doesn't contact me now unless its about his business or unless I texted him first. What should I do?

Anonymous

May 20, 2012 @ (FL)

Tags: die, dying, abortion

I dated a girl name Alyssa for 2 years and about 5 months. We moved to attend grad school in a new city so I spent every hour of fall 2010 either studying or with her, so I had no friends nearby. We had had some rocky times because I did study abroad and was entering law school, but basically she didn't trust me and I didn't communicate how much I loved her. It was fine to break up over that, but the way she did it was unacceptable.

One night she kept talking about her friend Karen, but it was really really suspicious how nervous she was and for some reason 2 girls drinking a whole bottle of whiskey in a night seemed like a stretch. So I look at her facebook page from that night "Great night with KC and AC" KC was Karen, AC I quickly figured out was Anthony something. I confront her and she breaks up with me. We exchange our things about 5 days later and she tells me she has already gone on 2 dates with him. We talk one more time and she tells me not to call unless there is an emergency.

About 2 days later I destroy my knee playing soccer. Tear all 4 main ligaments, other smaller ligaments and tendon, smash nerves, etc. My knee stayed out of the socket. A major risk of this is that you can cut off the circulation and/or sever the vein in your leg which can cause you to die or have your leg amputated. Surgeon comes in and tells me I have about a 40% chance of dying within the next 48 hours. So I call Alyssa because I could be dying, I think that qualifies as an emergency. Goes to voicemail. I text her asking just to talk over the phone since I know no one at school since I spent all my free time with her first semester. No response text at first then she said "I won't talk to you. Have your mom call me tomorrow when she gets in from her emergency flight." So I was left in the hospital to die alone by her.

It gets better... A couple of weeks later I am just at rock bottom. On pain medicine (I didn't walk for about 2 or 3 months the injury was so bad). I called her angry and she told me that she was pregnant. The guy she ran off on from me Anthony whatever had knocked her up. So she aborted it.

When someone is potentially dying in the hospital and has no one there and they request you to call just for an hour to talk it takes a pretty selfish person to refuse. I think most people would (and for that matter should) drive to the hospital to keep someone company until their family arrives.

Long story short, it takes a pretty selfish immature cold hearted person to leave someone in the hospital to die and then to abort their kid.

Nicole

May 13, 2012 @ (MyHeart)

Tags: BOYFRIEND, GIRLFRIEND, STUPID, LOVE, SWEET, SAD, BEAUTIFUL, FOREVER, NEVER, HIM, HER, TOGETHER, HEART, SAD, HAPPY, CUTE, LOVE, HONEST, LIES, GUYS, GIRLS, HE, SHE, PRETTY, NEVER. NOW, CUTE. LOSER, JERK

Dear Forever, <3
You don't exist, never will you, never have you, only in the mind of someone blinded by love. Love isn't forever, If you have it you should know you are one luck person. 1 out of 1000 people find true love, I am not one of them sadly. Do I wish to be, yes I do indeed. Is it relevant you ask? Yes, completely honestly faithfully truly relevant from day one. You may say I had a typical relationship, did I think it was typical? Nope, I thought it was completely something irrelevant from that. I though he was different, you may say a lot of girls say that, but I believed it, dreamed it, thought it, loved it, carried it, and anything under the sun, blue moon, and starts, and the heaven above.. I loved him with all my heart. I'd do anything for him, yet all I could do was nothing. I started dating his cousin who I fell completely head over heels with. We only saw each other at school to be honest.. but I thought it was more than a fun, school romance. I thought I wanted him forever. Though he cheated on a girl 8 times to be exact, but more after that. I hated the girl, he cheated on me to be with her. He told us it was because we were alike, whoa there we didn't think that. I hated her, she hated me, I had the boobs, and butt, she had nothing. I was thick, she was... skinny, so skinny she has nothing. I had the cutest everything compared to him, but at the end she had him... and I was left with nothing from him but good memories from before. Did anything from before matter anymore? No. Did the fact I was better than her in body, to everything else? No. Because she had him, I wanted him, I wanted to be her, live her life, be where she is. She and I became friends, and talked all the time. We soon learned we were exactly alike nothing different. She and I, been through the same thing, going through the same thing, like the same things, almost exactly the same person. Except the fact we lived different lives, as in our on bodys. Even though we were almost completely the same person, I was still jealous of her for the longest. Because she had him? Nope, not this time. Because I thought she was better, prettier, which she was prettier. we may have almost been completely a like, but our appearance and body kept us separated. I was me, she was herself. Later, I got over him. I realized I deserve better, I need better, I want better, and better is what I will get. If she wanted to spend her life with him and get less than what she could have, need, or want, she can nobody will stop her not at all. Not me, her parents, herself, anyone. Not even him. As long as he could break her heart he was completely fine. Was she, yes because she loved him no matter what, kinda like I was. Later, I fell for someone else, that someone was him cousin. He was the same age as him, same grade, but different everything else. We never met, but we started talking June 3rd, We talked and talked, till we decided we liked each other. We had talk a lot before then, he was obsessed with the fact that he was in love with me, which if you promise not to tell, I loved that(;. I thought he wasn't. Till 06.12.11 the day we got together, we dated than 2 months later, we met. He had never kissed a girl, nor had a long relationship. I saw him that day, I was so nerves, so I paced back and forth at the mall.. I thought he'd see me and be like she's prettier on facebook... and things like I'm worthless. But of course as always he was such a sweet little cutie. <3 It was the best day. As time proceeded we didn't hang out til July 3rd Thunder Fest of course. As always it was the cutest thing. We dated til 5.5.12 Which was like a week and 2 days ago, 9 days to be exact. So, we dated for 11 months, almost. His birthday was May 11th. Of course on that day he was probably like, "It's my birthday I'll get high if I want to, can't deny that I want you, but I'll lie if I have to." - Drake lyrics. But of course he actually didn't want me. I've been thinking of him and I can't stop. It's my longest relationship, and I didn't want it to end. What do you thinks he's doing? Flirting with a new girl? Probably with a new girl? Hanging with a new girl? Doing better without me? Do you even think he thinks about me? Well, I wouldn't know. Want to know why? Because he wont talk to me. Everyday breaks my heart. I get by, by pretending no matter what day, hour, second, weather, or place he's thinking about me. He's dying inside, and I'm living under sunshine, and he's living in the dark shadowy days of breaking my heart. Sometimes I hope that whoever he is messing with now, as in flirting with.. they break his heart, but now I just hope that he's happy until "It's a beautiful day, and something reminds you, you wish you would have stayed." - Taylor Swift lyrics. And now that is the time I found out that forever only exist with a few people.
Love,
Nicole, <3

Bob David

May 03, 2012 @ (san diego)

Tags: Acceptance

We met when I was 21 and she was just turning 18, a little over 5 years ago. There was instant attraction and our relationship advanced quickly. I knew deep down that neither of us were mature enough to be in a long term committed relationship, but we stuck together anyways. There were a lot of good times, fun memories, amazing sex and we were always there for eachother through the ups and downs. About two years into the relationship there were multiple infadelities-- she started sleeping with one of my good friends behind my back and I had slept around with more than 1 girl. Despite this huge blow to our trust and relationship, we stuck together after we came clean with each other on what we had done. In hindsight I know that we stuck together because we were attached and had some form of needyness with each other. I feel weak to admit that, but I honestly just felt attached and couldn't let her go despite the fact that we had both hurt each other severely and that we deserved better. I knew in my heart at the time that I should have let her go, but my impulsive needyness forced me to hold on to a relationship that had become toxic. Since then we tried to rebuild the foundation of trust in our relationship, but we were fighting an uphill battle and there was just too much insecurity and distrust towards eachother. A year and a half ago we moved in together, which was a big mistake. Things were ok on the surface, but deep down we both felt disconnected and unhappy with the relationship. Along the way we became very short tempered and irritated with eachother. She would yell and call me names, I would yell back and say hurtful things-- stuff you just don't do when you say that you love someone. I knew in my heart for a long time it was not right and that I needed to let go, but I just didn't have the courage to part company with her. I feel ashamed for having held on to something that I knew was not right for me. We broke up about 5 weeks ago after she did not come home one night. She told me she went out to party with her friends and stayed with a female co-worker, but my intuition told me otherwise. We both agreed that we were not right together and both needed to stand on our own two feet. We were together for 5 and a half years and although I know that it was not the right relationship for me I still feel a deep sense of loss an emotional pain. Despite having hurt eachother I had considered her my best friend-- we did everything together and wanted desperately to make things work. I have been trying so hard for the last 5 weeks to look at the reality of the relationship, but my mind keeps wanting to tell me that we could have made it work or that I should have been a better man. The fact is I was immature and acted with the level of maturity and awareness that I had at the time-- I think it's fair to say that she did too. I keep beating myself up over what I could have done differently and all the what if's, but it has only held me back from letting go and moving on. I am trying so hard to accept that it's over, but still find myself hoping for reconciliation in the future-- hope that is eating me up inside. I know that we both deserve better and that it cannot work. I am not one to share my personal story on an online forum such as this, but I started reading a book the other day that suggested I post about the breakup on this website. It has been helpful typing this story up and putting things into perspective. I think it's important that I look at my past relationship logically rather than feed off of my emotions. Anyways, I know my story probably sounds crazy or like I am a bad guy for having cheated, but I would appreciate any feedback. I am now 26 and have come to so many realizations in reflecting on the relationship. I really want to better myself and become the best man that I can be not only for myself, but so that I can have a healthy, loving relationship in the future. Most importantly I want to love myself so I never put myself in a toxic relationship again where I think that I don't deserve better. Anyways, stay strong to everyone that is going through similar heart break or emotional pain. Everyone keeps telling me it will pass-- I just hope that it does sooner than later!

Bella

April 27, 2012 @ (new york)

Tags: breakup

We met back in high school, good friends I can say. Yes I was attracted to him but never paid attention to that. he's older so he graduated before I did and we lost contact. 3 years later I randomly thought of him and look him up on Facebook. We exchange numbers and make plans to hang out. We hung out a few times just as friends,it was great I had a blast with him. We spent every night together just hanging out for about a month then he invites me to his place and, we hook up. He admits to me he had a thing for me back in high school too. We start seeing each other and after awhile we discuss ”us” and we agree to take things to the next level later on cause we're not ready. I loved everything about being with him, everything. We often had fights but that never really effected us. The situation at home took a turn for the worse when I had to make the decision of moving out of state, rather far. I try to find an alternate solution before breaking it to him but no luck. I break the news to him - I'd never seen him so angry. Not the reaction I was expecting. Everything went downhill from there. I wasn't suppose to leave for another 2 months though but we started to drift before that. I start seeing someone else - rebound I guess, I was both hurt and angry at him. He cuts me off when he finds out about it. It turns out Im staying and not moving out of state, still moving from that town though. I was over him, I thought. All my things are packed, half of my furniture is out. He lives maybe 10 blocks from me, 3 minute drive. I feel so guilty about the way things ended so I get in contact with him and ask him to see me. It took some convincing but he agreed to see me that night. He picks me up, the car ride is silent until I b lurt out how sorry I am. We never officially ended what we had, so when I got with this new guy, he was under the impression that we were still together and that's why he cut off - a total misunderstanding. That evening/morning was amazing. I thought everything would go back to normal, maybe even better than before. He drops me off in the morning, says he can see himself falling in love with me and that even when I was with that other guy I was still his girl and all this other bullshit. I go to bed, and wake up to his texts. We talk all day and all night. But that's the last day I saw him. The Next day he doesn't reply to anything I send him. Days go by, and still nothing. I was so utterly confused and hurt. I resort to Facebook I finally get a reply and all he says is ” what do you want?” I get the hint, just don't understand why. But okay, whatever.
It never occurred to me that I didn't mention to him that I wasn't moving out of state.
Months go by. I'm with other men but none of them phase me - the way he did. I get in contact with him and we end up having a very casual conversation. At the very least I thought we could keep our friendship but again, cuts me off. Wtf!
Here I am a year later, still thinking about him. I can't have a successful relationship because I still have some very strong feelings for him.
All my friends tell me to let it go... How many times have I tried that already? It seems impossible. It's not that I want to be with him, I just want an explanation so I can sleep at night.
If I had the opportunity to talk to him, do you think I should? I wouldn't know what to say or how to say it. I don't know how he'd react to me..

Kyla

April 18, 2012 @ (ireland)

Tags: awkward

ok so about a year and a half ago me and my fiance were in a hostel trying to get our own place and it was in there we met a guy called brian hes a really good friend of ours but when we were in the hostel i thought i had feelings for him but i couldnt act on them because i was engaged (still am) but anyway one day my fiance was acting like he didnt want to be near me like he didnt want me anymore so i said fuck this and i decided to act on what i was feeling i knew he felt the same way because he was always trying to touch me and kiss me so when my fiance was in the kitchen making himself something to eat brian had said he wasnt gonna do anything until i ask him to so i told him how i felt and he kissed me before i knew it we were in bed together having sex anyway after he moved out we lost touch but today he calls me and we started talking again and everything was fine no one knew what happened between the two of us but he told me he has settled down with a girl who is 5 months pregnant and that she lives up where i used to live so i asked her name and straight away i recognised it i asked if she had a sister called valerie and she said yes thats when i was 100% sure who she was when i told him ask if she knows valeries husband daughter kyla and when she said yes i told her thats me he kept asking how i knew and i told him shes my auntie things got so awkward my best friend and accidental affair is getting married and having a baby to my auntie when she found out she laughed and she didnt know what to say but it was long before they ever met so i do feel really bad but i dont know whether i should be feeling bad or not p.s my fiance still doesnt know about it

Irishxdream

April 10, 2012 @ (magherafelt)

Tags: he tried it with my cousin

im 18 years old now but just over 3 years ago i had dated a guy i had known m whole life i always loved him but never knew how to tell him so one day i was out with my cousin but he never met her before so he thought she was just a friend when she told him how i felt he asked me out that night and i said yes he kept telling me he loved me and he wanted to be with me forever and i was stupid enough to believe him mainly because i had known him forever anyway we had been together just 2 months and my mum had agreed to let him stay the night with me because i was going to be home alone we were happy and i decided that i trusted him enough so we had sex that night a week later my cousin who he still thought was just a friend came to my house with her boyfriend who was his cousin and she had told me that he tried to go with her behind my back at first i didnt believe her but when she showed me the messages he had sent to her phone i cried my heart was broke how could someone i knew my whole life want to hurt me so much that day i called him and asked him to come up to my mums house when i confronted him he denied it so i showed him the messages and he said she was lying that she had his phone and sent them to herself i was heartbroken how stupid did he think i was?? he went silent and didnt know what to say when i told him that she was my younger cousin i was so upset but i had to laugh when i saw the look on his face maybe now he'll think before he tries it on some other girl hahaha p.s im now engaged to a wonderful guy i met just a month after we broke up so in a way im glad it happened xxxx

DEMI

March 23, 2012 @ (missouri)

Tags: betrayal..sex..other man

hi im new to this website...an i jus needed a place to tell my story...imma start off by saying...i jus turned 25 an i was in a 4 year relationship wit a man named jamall...the first 2 years with him was great .he proposed an life was cool until 2 months later after the engagement i caught him in a online affair wit a girl a state away ..so i broke offf the engagment ...so the next 2 years i had caught him up in many lies...until 2010 he started dj at a local club...i felt like i had to live up to his image..he was getting noticable an hott...so i felt as a dj girlfriend i should look da part an i did i bought fake ass pads...an the nicest clothes to meet his standards..well after a year doin that i became someone else i lost my idenity an started becoming someone i didnt recongize...an his actions were getting worst ..until on day in may of 2011 changed my life forever..i meet a guy who was in da army ...he was everything my boyfriend wasnt ...so by that point my boyfriend was doin his thing an he stopped showing me love an care..an attention ..so when this new guy came in my life to provide me all that i loved it...so on our first date we had sex...it was the best sex i ever had...an it jus happened ..we enjoyed it an the feeling we were feeling so we decided to see each other again an again sex sex an more sex...feelings were getting involved an we didnt care he was single i wasnt but it felt soo right ...so he had to leave for germany 3 weeks into me cheating i had fell inlove with him ..an had a man at hme..but i didnt care i was happy an myself with the army guy...so he left an i was faced with my bf back hme..it was the most miserable time ever...i continued to talk to the army guy for 6 months until he came hme again on leave in december 2011 ..we were inlove at that point an i was ready to leave my bf..an all i wanted was the army guy well...i had came across my bf had been sleeping wit a 19 yer old since november 2011 an i found out all this in february on my bday..i was floored ...he say he still loves me but he cant treat me right ...his actions are wht ran me off in the first place ...i really love the army guy an he loves me 2 we r sooo happy together ...i dnt kno if i should leave my 4 year relationship or leve my 10 month affair...please u guys help me but i love the army guy he is da one but my bf we only have time no kids no future plans no promises so ill take all the advice u can give

Jannet

March 22, 2012 @ (somewhere)

Tags: bestfriends

*Im a teenager*
it was in Jan, this year when me and lets say his names BOB started going out but im going to far...so it was october when we met and we met thru his girlfriend(lets say her names SUZY) so SUZY was one of my bestfriends at the time (now we completely hate eachother but thats a whole other story) and BOB and SUZY were going out anyways so we started texting and then we finally saw eachother at school and we starting talking alot so much it became daily and we became bestfriends. and yea it wasnt actually "bestfriends" cuz we had only known eachother for about a month. but it felt that way to us... he told me everything and i did to...then him and suzy broke up..but then he met my other bestfriend(lets say her name is KIM) and he starting liking her which then turned into love and KIM started going out w him.. so then they broke up and then they started going out again and then on new years eve about 12 minutes after midnight we were texting and he told me he loved me but he was buzzed cuz he had been drinking a little for new years and so i thought he ws joking so the next day i asked him if it was true and he said "only if i wanted it to be" then about on jan 9 he broke up w KIM... FOR ME..i couldnt believe it..he was saying that she was the girl for him and then he dumps her for me! and so he said his love for her was never true and that he knew it was for me cuz he KNEW me and cuz i understood him..i believed him bc i felt and still feel the same way..but he is a trublemaker and so he got suspened from school and got grounded from his fone and hanging out so our other connections were failed and i didnt see him for about 2 weeks and then when he got back he asked me out then two days later he got expelled and we didnt talk about a month later i finally gave up on him returing back and i broke up w him over facebook..he said it was "cool we could still be friends" that was the last i heard of him... i knew our friendship was broken too..we were so close that i never knew that one mistake like that could end it.. and now on i still hope one day we will end up together or hopefully be friends again..even if i only knew him for 5 months he was the only person i have ever felt that close to.. so do you think he ever did love me?

Megan

March 18, 2012 @ (Michigan)

Tags: Awful, Terrible, mean, unexpected

I had been dating this guy for 9 almost 10 months. Things were going good, we almost never had fights, and we would do anything for each other. He even used my birthstone for his class ring. He had never once been vicious or rude, and always respected me.
One day he decided to break up with me because he thought I wouldn't be able to commit to him. After a long argument, we decided to just take a break. Only 3 days later, he already made out and had a thing with a new girl. When he told me, I admit I was extremely hurt. Then a side i had never seen before started to show. He blamed everything on me, told me he didn't think I was that good looking and that he just "warmed up" to me, told me he hated me, and made fun of everything I said. I lost my virginity to him, now I really wish I didn't.