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Anonymous

November 06, 2011 @ (NY)

My then boyfriend and I had been seriously together for almost 3 years. Everything was just fine. We were planning on moving in together, planning our 3 year anniversary trip to Miami and even, possibly, when the time was right we shared the similar ideas of marriage and starting a family. I basically lived my life for this person. We saw each other every day without fail because we live close together.

Until that fateful day when I received a phone call from him...He calls to tell me the he is in jail and needs $1500 bail money. I tell him that I don't have the kind of money and that he should contact his parents as a last resort. Meanwhile my mind is going crazy & I'm thinking to myself what he could have possibly done to land himself into this kind of predicament.

An hour later his dad gives me call and we both deicide to go to the jail and bail him out. One the way there we talk about all the possibilities of why he could be there. The only thing that could plausibly come across my mind was unpaid tickets in relations to his car. Well we get to jail and since there is only one person allowed in to bail him out, his dad goes in to retrieve him. Mind you we had gotten there at 7 p.m. and didn’t leave until 1 a.m.

When my then boyfriend decides to get into the car he tells me that he would rather talk to me one on one rather than his dad being around. This made me even more upset. I had waited several hours already and now he has the nerve to make me wait even more for an explanation!

So when we finally get to our destination he gives me this bogus story about how he had a relationship with a girl who had lied about her age, before I even came into existence and that she had been stalking him etc. etc. So he lied and said it was basically a case of fatal attraction.

The next day I think to myself “Why the hell would the cops go and pick him up, at his job!, on things that happened years ago?”
So I call his dad, because things just weren’t adding up and he tells me the dreadful news that this incident happened in September of this year! Keep in mind it was the last week of October I find out this news. Adding insult to injury he lied about the whole fatal attraction scenario!!

In actuality, my then boyfriend, who is 22, went on facebook, started communicating and sexting with a girl who he claimed told him she was 17 but she’s really 15. He told me he didn’t even have a facebook when he had one the whole entire relationship. They met up on what he says on one occasion in the parking lot of her school. There this 15 year old girl performs oral sex on him. Somehow, someway her parents find out about this and her dad is a cop. So now he’s is in a lot of trouble and must go to court for Lord knows how long it takes to settle his situation.

So now his face, name, and address is plastered all over the internet for anyone who looks his name up to see. That he sought out sexual relations with an underage girl and got caught!

There were warning signs that we would argue about consistently.
1. He was so defensive about his phone; he always hid it, and would go to the extremes to cover his tracks.
2. Every time he went on the internet he would delete the browsing history.
3. He wanted to get into shape and eat healthy all of a sudden, which was around the time he started talking to this girl.

WOW!! He is a pathological liar and continued to lie to me to keep me!! He didn’t even want me to go to his court date! Had I not found out the truth from his dad! He would have continued to lie to me!

I am a complete mess right now. I’m going through midterms and working. Things have just been absolutely rough! I have even contemplating taking him back. But I know that it is not an option! Even though I’m hurting for the moment, I need to move on with my life and let time be the best remedy.

Anonymous

November 04, 2011 @ (Nevada)

Tags: Sad

The break up was easy. It was the week before we broke up that broke me. He's my best friend...or at least he was. And I've known him for so long, I knew something was wrong. I could feel him slipping away, and then he began lying to me. I'm not sure why the lies started, I'm not really sure where we went wrong. But I confronted him, and told him how I felt. We talked on the phone and he said he was feeling weird, that he didn't know how to explain it, but he told me not to worry. "Hakuna Matata" That's what he always says when I look worried. But I knew he was gone, he didn't even tell me he loved me before we broke up. The next day I caught him in a lie, and he didn't talk to me until the day after. When he finally did I told him how shitty I felt, how hurt I was. Then he told me that the reason he thinks best friends work so well is because "Even if something happens, they can still be best friends" that same night he broke up with me. And here I am, a week later. And guess what? I lost my best friend.

Jess

November 03, 2011 @ (Tx)

Tags: Break up

We started talking after I got out of a really bad relationship. I had some work done to my vehicle so I could make a trip a few hours away to see friends I had been kept from during what seemed like the worst relationship ever. The guy working on my vehicle passed me his number and I was willing to get over my ex so bad that I took the chance with this one. Before we hooked up, I did my research and found out he was engaged. Though I didn't confront him immediately, I had planned to when we decided to see each other outside of his work. I met him at the place he was staying for some sexual tension release after a week of txting. That's when I confronted him about his fiancée. He told me that she hadn't been showing any interest in him and although I felt wrong for agreeing to have sex with him while he was engaged, I took pity. Before we had sex I asked "are you sure you want to do this?" And he said yes. After that, a week later or so he broke up with her and we started dating....
I should have know... it was wrong. They were high school sweethearts and I felt like I was a monster for stopping a love like that but I fell in love with him. I was more than a fool. I was the worst person in the world.
One night after he got out of work, I went over to his house. And broke up with him. This on and off relationship of three months of him going back and forth from me to her was pathetic. I told him me should go back to her.. and that it was stupid for him to be apart from her. They belonged.
I haven't gotten over him. I still love him with all of my heart. But I'm hoping I did the right thing. Even if it cost me my mind and my heart.

AC

October 25, 2011 @ (US)

Tags: indecisive, indecision, flip flop, back and forth

It is apparently over. It feels that way. I have not been able to say the words to her though I think my heart feels it is.

It isn't that I don't love her, its that I am so unsure of what I want for my life that my instincts (or my goddamn brain) won't let me find clarity. Maybe that means I don't love her...I dunno. Or maybe I don't need clarity and I'm just ignoring my instincts which say that this relationship can not work considering the re-evaluation I am undertaking.

I haven't been able to wholeheartedly agree on the direction she would like life to go in...it mostly the children issue. But its not because I'm so against it or worried she isn't good enough to build a life with. I just haven't found a way to say yes or no, to reconcile what I want with what she does so maybe the indecisiveness is my answer.

Even if it means that I change my mind a year from now, I think the answer is "no I can't be what you need and deserve right now." If that's the case and she has a clearer plan for her life, I should let her go so she can find it with someone else. It may be the worst decision of my life and I may regret it but I just can't see a way to put love, attention and energy into this relationship AND try to figure my own shit out.

Part of me feels plain dumb for not having figured myself out at 33, but part of me also doubts that every married with kids person really gave it all as much thought and followed their instincts either. It feels so odd to not inherently agree with the way society goes about relationships, marriage, kids and just maturing in general. Everyone feels like they are on auto-pilot with their life choices. Maybe I'm just trying to make myself feel better about my indecision.

I think in many ways my spirit is flawed, broken...but not irreparable. I will take the time to ask my heart what it really wants and I will keep asking until it responds....because it will. It wants me to be happy and maybe it doesn't even yet know what it wants but when it does, I will fight for it with all I can. I only have one known chance at living. I've got to try and live as best I can. I hate that I don't know that she could represent living life the best way I can, but if we are done and it was a mistake, it just feels like a mistake I have to make, otherwise I am doomed to create the same indecision and same mistakes time and time again.

Just The Way You Are

October 11, 2011 @ (CA)

Tags: Example i

It's not really a break up, Im just in desperate need for advice. It all started October last year. I was staying at one of my mums friends houses and her son and I only knew eachother because of our parents work together. He is 17 and a highschool dropout. I'm 15 and still currently doing my studies. That night he went out with a couple of mates. For some peculiar reason I asked him to wake me when he got home. When he did he woke me and we spooned on his bed talking about whatever came to mind. He was so sweet, a side I've never seen from him before. After that experience we never really spoke again. Until about a week ago when I foundmyself in the same position. This time it got sexual. Only he was to big for me, so we didn't end up having sex. He was the first person id engaged with in doing stuff like that. I wasn't his first though. It was kinda strange. I felt so comfortable around him, I could be myself and not be self conscious like I normally am around others, and all my previous boyfriends. After that night we didn't speak again until two nights ago. I layer with him and drew circles on his leg, it was tickling him, and he was so cute. Just before we fell asleep he grabbed my hand and placed it on his crouch. After that he didnt speak to me ever again. I think I've fallen for him, but I can't help to think that he is just in it for the fun and the sexual side of things. I don't think he admires me as a person.he only admires what I can do with my hands. But his the type of person that if he did have feelings for me, he'd never let me know. His quite a big build. But I really want him to know that I love him for who he is, not what he looks like , or what he has achieved. I love him for him. As simple as it gets. His friends are complete drop kicks. And he values what they think. I have a feeling that's why his holding back. I don't know what to do, and advice would be great?! Thanks xo

CaptainMac316

October 01, 2011 @ (USA)

Tags: Sorry, that sucks, That's hilarious

I was dating this girl for almost 5 years. We were high school sweethearts and that continued into college. I get home from work one night and I think it's just a normal night. We are laying in bed watching whatever and she turns to me and says "(Name redacted) we need to talk." My first thought was "Fuck...what did I do now?"
So I ask her "What's up?"
Her response: "I...I found somebody else." I was floored. This was from out of nowhere. Now, as I'm sitting there, I start to think "Where did she find somebody else?" She didn't go to college. She didn't work at the time. She didn't venture out of the house unless she went somewhere with her family. Basically, I was dating a loser. So I asked "Where did you meet this guy?"
She replied, "Online." Ah, that made a lot of damn sense now. So, I ask her "Which site?" I'm thinking like eHarmony or match.com. Her response "I met him in a Harry Potter chat room." My only reaction was to laugh at her. "Are you kidding me?" I asked incredulously. She definitely was not. "What do you talk about on a Harry Potter chatroom? Did he ask you if you wanted to see his wand?" I got no response. Was I said and upset? Yes, but remember, laughter helps out when getting over such things.

Again

September 27, 2011 @ (Edmonton)

Tags: none

Slowly,over a period of time,often in my head. I went back in small doses and in large doses until one day he said he couldn't see me for 2 weeks because his girlfriend prior to me was coming to see him.It's a long distance relationship he maintained all through out our relationship. i work with him and find it so hard. I avoid him now and pray for (his name) free days. I know I am emotionally and psychologically hooked. I started a break up cleanse and was 7 days into, feeling free, and he made contact. Now I am starting over. again, please give me freedom, give me the opportunity to love being with me without him.

I broke up slowly, again and again, but not again. Yeah!!!

Heidi Cambridge

September 10, 2011 @ (Boston)

Tags: baby daddy

I am a pre-med student at a large eastern university. Last year, the first day of school I met and fell in love with my biology professor. He was so charming, so handsome and so married. I knew it was wrong but I couldn't help myself.

We immediatly stated a sexual liason right there in his class room. I would come to his room during his prep time, and he would have me bend over his desk and we would make love. He was so rough and violent when we had sex, so masculine, it was an addiction to me. I had never been with a real man who would not play around or slowly try to ackwardly seduce me one button at a time. He would just pull me to him, rip my panties down and slam me. It was so hot. I was so in love!

I never used protection and really didn't think about what would would happen if I got pregnant. For some reason, I guess I didn't think I COULD get pregnant. Well, I was wrong and about 8 weeks into the year I realized I must be pregnant. When I told Professor he said it was my responsibility and I had to be a grown up and handle it. So, I decided to keep it and raise it myself. We continued to have sex every day and he showed me so many ways to explore the limits of my sexuality. We tried bondage and some hard discipline. He used to spank me with a paddle and a whip. It was so erotic and I loved it. But, one day when I was bound over the chair and he was swatting me, I began to bleed rather profusely. He told me to leave and take care of myself.

Later in my dorm room, I miscarried the baby. I called Professor and asked for his help, but he told me it was my problem. I wrapped the fetus in a towel. It was a boy.

I have to admit, it hurt me a lot that he didn't want to take care of our baby. So, I came up with a plan.

The next day we were supposed to do dissections in lab. I came to class and worked on my "project". When Professor came around to check our progress, I present him my work, all arranged on a display board. I told him, loud enough for everyone to hear, "Here's my project, its your son!"

He had me thrown out of school and refused to talk to me or have sex with me anymore. I was hurt and I still think of him when I feel the need for a real man in my life. I miss his firm hands on my body and his "tough love". He will always be special to me as he is the person who made me into a real woman.

Madeline

September 09, 2011 @ (California )

Tags: heartbreak

My bf Adam and I have were together for bout a year. Just under a year. Adam was an amazing basketball player and loved the game. Around February of our senior yr he found out he got into Duke university. Since I've known him all he would talk about was how he wanted to go explore and experience new things. But somehow his mind had changed since he had been with me and said he wasn't gonna go there. He said he was gonna go to school in CA so he could be close to me. And it wasn't like he was go to a UC or CalState he was gonna go to community college like me. And this caused so much tension with us cuz I wasn't going to let him ruin his life over me an I told him I was transferring to Tennessee state soon so we would be driving distance away but he didn't believe me.
I didn't know what to do. His dad who I have only met maybe twice cuz they don't get along calls me and tells me to break up with him cuz its the only way he would leave And he was being a jerk bout it. I Don't wantbto do hthat but I loved Adam so much I was willing to let him go if it meant he would have a better future. I broke up with Adam couple weeks before our anniversary and I tried explaining why but he wouldn't hear me out. He has never said anything hurtful or malicious to me but after I broken up with him he told me to never talk to him again. I called every day yo tell him how sorry I was and I love him. H never responded.
That happened in 2010. To this day he hasn't talked to me since I broke up with him. And it breaks my heart. Last I heard he didn't go to Duke. Hes going to calstate long beach. 15 mins away from me. His dad isbto blame for this and I resent him getting involved. I was willing to make a long distance relationship work And now I lost Adam. I pray everyday That's he'll give me another chance. That's why he's in CA isbso he could he close to me and I believe we have a chance.

Marie

September 05, 2011 @ (East Coast)

Tags: text message

I sent my boyfriend of 4 months a text message (while he was at work on a Friday) and I told him that I was tired of being in a one-sided relationship and for him to throw out anything that I had left at his house. Needless to say, he and I never spoke since that infamous text. He had it coming to him though--he never appreciated me and took me for granted.