Searching for "happy"

252 Results For 'happy'

Dee

October 18, 2012 @ (california )

We started going out September of 2009. We were happy and in love. I honestly thought he was the one, we made love, we planned a wedding, we planned our lives. Then on April 2010 I fin d out he's been cheating on me. He says it only happened once but God who knows how many fucking times he cheated!! I was heartbroken. He left me for another. Fast forward to May 2010, my dumbass hangs out with him & what does he do? He kisses me and I tell him it isnt right since he has a girfriend. He didn't care and idk why i let him kiss me. He ignored me for the following months until September 2010 when he found out I had a new boyfriend. I guess it's true when they say that they want you back when they see you with someone new. He asks me if we can be together but that no one has to know. as much as i still had feelings for him, i didn't fall for that. Then the next month he finds out I broke up with the guy I was with and he goes to look for me he kisses me and I ask him "wait don't you have your Girlfriend still?" and he's like, "I don't want to talk about her, lets talk about us" and truth is I was really happy to see him again, he kisses me and I kiss him back but it doesn't feel right because in his girlfriend stays in the back of my mind. And as fucked up as she was to ruin my relationship and get in between it in the first place, I didn't want to be like her. but then he told me he was gonna leave her for me. Lies. Days pass by and not one single word from him. Then the following month his girlfriend sends me a message on facebook asing me all these questions about him. I end up telling her the truth that her guy has been after me since forever now. He denies it in her face but later he says that its true. Its a long long story. A story that should have been over with in 2010. But guess what? It is now 2012 and that asshole is still on my mind. And that chick still talks to me and pretends to be my friend but behind my back she talks shit. I don't know why! She is always Subtweeting me and all that and she always mentions him. She starts saying things like "oh im glad im talking with him again!" I have a feeling they'll get back together after all the shit that happened. I don't give a fuck though. Wait, yeah I do :/ I know I shouldn't but I still have those feelings. It's going to be two years now since I last saw him though so I don't understand why I still think about him, dream about him and cry sometimes for him. He really messed me up. I haven't been in a relationship in such a long time because of trust issues.He left me heartbroken and I don't think I can handle another one of those relationships. I honestly just want him out of my mind. I want him out of my heart but I don't know how. Maybe it does take time. Maybe I'll get over it little by little. I just hate the fact that I gave it up to a douche like him. I know I don't need him but sometimes I just want to tell him that I do. I don't know. Love is complicated.

Rogue

September 25, 2012 @ (ontario canada)

Tags: heartbroken, deserved it

Our love stories begins in September 2010. How fitting it ends now.

I will be honest and tell you that I didn't deserve his love the first year we were together and if I could find a way to take that time back. I would. A bit of history - he is 10 years younger than I (I am female). Although our maturity levels were in sync age (until recently) was never an issue. (It was something that troubled me. And because of that created unnecessary stress).

He worked full time, I was in school full time and worked two part time jobs. I have two children. One was 11 at the time the other 16. I had made the decision prior to even meeting him that I wasn't going to just introduce my kids to just anybody. I needed to know he was going to stick around. I didn't want to be one of those parents who bring partners in and out of their childrens lives. One year I told him when we met. I would introduce him after one year.

My family and friends disaproved of our relationship because it was interacial and because he was so young. I fell under the pressure. And ended it in December 2010. It didn't last long. We both loved each other and to end a relationship for others seemed wrong. Yet I always put my family and friends needs before his.

He lived 45 min away and was always ready willing and able to see me at the drop of a hat if I was free. Free time was something I didn't have much of and I soon began to resent the fact that all my time was consumed making someone happy, either my family, my children or him. I began to resent how much time he wanted from me.

I felt I had nothing to give in the first place. In May 2011 I noticed there was a girl he worked with that he was msging daily. I confronted him and he deleted her from bbm and facebook immediately no questions asked. The fact that I was uncomfortable made him do it. Why couldn't I do the same for him. I had a 20yr friend who made him uncomfortable and rightly so but I didn't do the same for him and he didn't push me. I know it hurt him.

I chose soding the back yard with family on a night we should have been together because my obligation to family was stronger to my obligation to him.

I could list several situations where this was the case. All of which now, I regret.

In july he lost his job. Money became tight and I found myself frustrated at the fact that he was playing video games all day while I worked my butt off just to make ends meet.

When september came time to meet the children my son had a death in his class, then his aunt was diagnosed with cancer and died shortly after. Excuses I know. But I wanted my son to be in a good spot prior to meeting him.

In december, he still had not met my son, still didn't work, was borrowing $$ from friends family and me who didn't have any to begin with. I ended things again.

Naturally we ended up back together in januay. But this time roles had switched. I realized how much I loved him and wanted to be with him and I was ready to share my life with him. Every aspect. The things I hesitated doing before I did without hesitation including getting rid of that 20yr friend. But now, he was distant. He was reserved. He was worried. I tried everything I could to make up for the wrongs that I had done.

The things he requested were unreasonable we both know it but I did it. Some of the things he asked me to do I am so ashamed that I did. Most, I will never tell a living soul because I am so disapointed in myself.

I hadn't seen him in 6 weeks. We hadn't slept together in 3 months, he was refusing to meet my kids still. Then on friday when I was supposed to spend the weekend at his house, he sent me a bbm msg while I was at work I am a manager of an employee and it was his first day. He didn't even give me a chance to respond before he deleted me on bbm. Blocked my emails and my phone number and I haven't heard from him since.

Why is it I love him so. Why is it I can forgive him anything now, but that first year we were together I couldn't give him what he deserved!

Farrah

September 23, 2012 @ (CA)

Tags: breakup

FROM MY DIARY: MY BOYFRIEND, THE ADDICT

I need to laugh right now, even though I feel like crying. You see, the man I love is an addict. Piece by piece, he’s breaking my heart. I think this might be over.

For the time being, though, I figure laughter is the best medicine. So I’m trying to focus on the crazy man outside with the abrasive voice, yelling on the phone in a language I can’t understand. At the same time, I’m reading these break-up stories on an online support group for damaged relationships, wondering how on earth I got here.

I’m trying to remember the things I'm grateful for, which is hard to do in a time like this. My therapist tells me to do this when I feel down. It helps me shift into a more positive mindset. I need to look at the things I DO have in my life and stop focusing on what I've lost - because I can’t stop thinking about Ryan* and about how much I miss the person he used to be.

I feel like I lost him even before the new girl "friend" came along. However, I know she’s only a piece of this crazy puzzle. The old Ryan would never have hurt me that way. He never would’ve lied to me about seeing her. He never would’ve blamed me for his own mistakes.

For the past couple months, I’ve had that gut instinct, telling me something wasn’t right. I could already feel him starting to slip away, and I keep remembering the person who once loved and adored me, and who thought I was beautiful and amazing. I miss the way he used to hold me, kiss me, talk to me for hours. He said he wanted to be with me forever, and I wanted his face to be the first thing I saw each morning, every day for the rest of my life. I never told him that – but I felt it in my heart. He inspired me to be a better person. I miss that man.

When I met him over a year ago, he’d first gotten sober. Gradually, he changed into a brand new person. A light appeared in his eyes; he was truly happy. He went to AA, got a sponsor, and was taking steps toward a brighter future. What went wrong?

It hurts so badly to watch him change. I watch as he stumbles through the darkness of his addiction, sloppy step-by-step, and I can’t do a thing. The pain cuts like a knife, but I’m trying not to feel it. I’m trying to be strong. I don't even know him anymore. He can't see the way he hurts me. While he's this way, he can't see anything else. He’s locked in the grip of denial – in a world that is cold and black. Until he wants help, he won’t get better, and right now he doesn’t believe anything is wrong.

I can't go on this way with him. I love him more than words can say, but I have to love myself enough as well.

I have to realize that the person I'm leaving behind isn’t the man I fell in love with. Instead, he’s a stranger, and all I have are memories of someone I once loved with all my heart.

I watch him wrestle within his own skin, and wallowing in the pits of self-imposed misery. He can't even see what this does to me. He'll only get better when the pain of staying the same outweighs his fear of change.

Unless he’s willing to be honest with himself, he’ll never change, and things between us will continue to deteriorate.

As long as he’s in this mode, he’s capable of anything. He expects my trust without being trustworthy. He expects results and rewards without doing anything to earn them. It isn’t realistic, but he can’t see that now – not the way the old Ryan would. I guess it’s impossible to see the entire picture while you’re standing in it.

A part of me still believes in him. He pushed through this before, and he became an amazing person because of it. It's hard to watch something so beautiful waste away before your eyes. It’s even harder to walk away.

Whatever happens, I do believe that everything happens for a reason - even if I can't see what that is right now. One day, maybe I'll understand. And one day - just maybe - the man I love will come back to me.

Lexi

August 25, 2012 @ (USA)

Tags: Jerk, valentines day

Ok so, I've liked this one guy for a while and one day, he asks me out. I'm so excited and he asked in the sweetest way. But I'm not here to talk about how he asked me, I'm here to tell you how he ended it 4 days later.... On valentines day! I walk into school all happy because I had a boyfriend and I loved him (remember I said I've been crushing on this guy for a while. A while being 4 years!) I see him in the hall and wave to him. One of his friends pulls me a side and says "He told me to tell you it was a dare..."
I cried in the middle of class and my best friend literally had to push me out of my chair so that way it looked like I hit my ankle falling or something (she's awesome) so she helps me to the nurse where I tell the nurse my story, when of all people in walks him. My friend gives him the dagger eyes. And I flip him off when the nurse turns her back. It felt good ^_^

Lauren

August 22, 2012 @ (Maryland)

Tags: (highschool, religion)

So it was a nine month relationship. We were friends for about a year before. We finally decided to hook up the week of homecoming. But it turned out to be something a lot more. He asked me out at the homecoming game. Since then we've been together and in love. I helped him through so much. His parents fight constantly, he was adopted, he has self worth issue but so do I. We helped each other out. We were happy together and we promised each other to stay forever. We thought we were going to get married. We thought we had so much time. We even lost our virginity to one another.
So he went to church camp for a week about a month ago. He came back wanting a break. No explanation, no answers, no nothing. He changed completely. He always used to say that he believed in God but not in religion. Now he's a legit conservative Catholic. He says "Sex is bad." He thinks he has to break up with me because of his religion. The experience at camp changed him. It's like my old guy is there but he's not. Like he's asleep and soon he's going to wake up and have no one. He thinks the world is a perfect place where only nice people exist because that's how it was at camp.
I don't know how to get through to him. But all he says now is 'idk'. Ten months and he's willing to throw it all away... I get the feeling he isn't telling me something. I'm so fed up with guys being assholes. He was different though.

Megan

June 26, 2012 @ (Denver)

Tags: Isaac, caroline, me, isaacs parents

we were in 2nd grade when it all started- instantly he saw me and felt the need to protect me ( yeah I know puppy love) I dont know why but that day he asked me to be his girl I said yes, but then on the playground when we were playing star wars something clicked! I dont wanna date yet. I mean i was only 6 1/2 going on 7 ( I was a little behind) this whole thing went on until about 5th grade when we werw getting curious and getting the talk and that he took a shot again at it (he also tries in 3rd... and 4th :D lol.) I said yes and he was acctually a good Bf he gave me suckers from the sales and we even danced together in the 5th grade show (yeah i know- peachy. but i stepped on his foot alot...) He was acting weird, not answering my emails, I saw it coming and was prepared- BUT what he did I was unprepared for!! He finally emailed me that "my parents say we cant date anymore.. :(" I of course thought something was fishy and knew what it was before I even clicked out of that message- his parents wouldnt do that! They were totally happy for us and acctually cool with like everything so i replied with "um... No... they were happy for us. Oh my gosh what is up with YOU?" I sort it out through my head and start crying but am stopped dead in my tracks as my eyes scan at the message he just sent. I couldnt believe it! he had typed "I like someone else, Ok?" I instantly insist that he tells me who it is. im shocked but who he says. Caroline- one of my bestfriends!! he then says "my dad told me to lie to you." I reply with "thx." his words pierce through me "shut up and get over it you *itch!" I am tooken back. how dare he but heres the worst part, then he said "ill use a condom," that was way to far and made me want to kick his ass- that little PERV heck I bet he dont even got equiptment. Now im going into 6th grade and if he messes with me again he will hear from my brother.

Jonah

June 17, 2012 @ (dothan, alabama)

Tags: broken heart

im having a hard time getting over this girl i love. im 16 and she is 15 and we met at a friends house. i didnt think much of her because she was soooo beautiful and i didnt think i had a chance with her because i am a very humble person. we started "talking" for about 2 weeks and we started liking each other. she asked me to come to her house, we connected and i asked her out. one day though she started acting funny and i asked her what was wrong. she was texting her ex boyfriend very frequently that day and she was putting status's on facebook that were hinting that she was thinking about breaking up with me. she said she wanted to work things out and i did too but she said she wanted to work things out after i broke up with her. i loved her soooo much i was willing to throw away what i had with her just so i could see her happier with someone else. she got a boyfriend two days after i broke up with her and she post pictures of her and him on facebook all the time. he is 17 and is a taller, more handsome guy than i am. she talks to me almost every day still but all she talks about is how happy she is with him. its so hurtful to know i couldnt make her happy and i love her so much but she loves someone else. i dont know how to get over her and i have frequent vivid dreams about me kissing her and being with her. she says she still likes me but i cant have her making me fall for her again when she has a boyfriend. its unhealthy for me. if anyone has advice on how to get over her please comment. thank u for taking the time to read this

Nataly

June 11, 2012 @ (California)

Tags: long term relationship, breakup

Question... How do you get over someone who you dated for almost 10 years? It would've been 10 years this year and at the moment I'm really upset. The first mistake I made was dating at such a young age. I was 12 and he was 13 and although we dated right away after meeting, he was my best friend. We've been through so much but never cheated on each other. I honestly thought by next year we would marry. He was actually the first to mention marriage years ago so over the years I believed it would happen. Anyway our relationship changed a few months ago starting with issues at each others home to him being unhappy with certain choices he's made in his life. Now he's completely distant and mean. He treats me like I never existed and keeps saying he wants to get his life together for himself. I get it but he's my life and all i've known. I still love him very much although he says he doesn't know if he still loves me. Anyway I'm just sad and can't understand how things changed so suddenly and I miss him. We still talk but he just hurts me by the way he acts and the things he says.

Robert

June 02, 2012 @ (California)

Tags: Morrissey

"My Larissa", "Baby", "hunny"… fuck. In your head you broke up with me 3 months ago but it took you til 3 weeks ago to really do it. That’s how complicated you are. To lose your feelings is one thing, but to play pretend and say you love me when you don’t really care about me is fucked. You’re a coward and I don’t respect you for what you put me through. You don’t want to call me and rather email me? I miss… whom you used to be, the shy girl with brown eyes, big hair and red lips. I don’t miss the lying little girl you are to me now. It makes sense why you didn’t like serious moments, or taking pictures, or being around my family at times, and why you acted up, said disrespectful things and treated me the way you did. You’re the worst girlfriend I’ve ever had.

I saw it in the first place when you cheated on me, I made the mistake of forgiving you and what happened thereafter wasn’t fair to me. I was doing everything I could, the best I could do to believe we can be happy together. You were bringing me down, you were making me think I was doing something wrong and you broke my heart. I spent all this time getting to know you; I always went out of my way to be with you. In-between working a lot, skating as much as I could, growing my business, getting fired, having you cheat on me, all the depressing feelings, you going out drinking too much, me not being motivated to skate, bummed out over everything, to getting new jobs, significantly improving my situation, then, to watch you lead me to a shot in the dark.

My ex cheated on me, as you know. Remember we said we wouldn’t ever put each other through the same things others did to us? Lucky for me I was cheated on twice in a row, right? How did I get such good aim with finding very messed up people? It’s a real bummer. I knew you were hiding something from me, I knew I couldn’t trust you and I went to your house that night for the same reason I sent you a birthday card you didn't deserve... to get the truth. No more lies Larissa, take my information off your resume and don’t give anyone my letter of recommendation. If I get a call I will tell them that you never worked for me, I will be honest and admit it’s all bullshit and that you are not a good candidate.

You’re brown jacket you left in my trunk is in the trash.

Life is going to hit you eventually and it will be a night-terror come true. I showed you what you’ve been missing, freed you from your broken home, into mine countless nights and held your hand through the ups and downs. I looked out for you and was there for you. You cover up your sadness pretty well but one day it will all come out when you least expect it. You can’t hide it forever. You are weak. You have a lot of growing up to do. You’re not looking for someone to sweep you off your feet. You’re lonely, you are lost, but I found you and met you for some reason. But someone who deserves me and will treat me right is in my future. I’m a good man, a gentleman, one of the most positive people you’ll ever meet, I have a passionate heart, desire to be someone great and I did my best.

It’s fitting you have a tattoo of a rose, roses are beautiful but every rose has it’s thorns and they hurt, especially when you don’t deserve to feel them. This whole thing is a shame and it’s much too late for goodbyes. Pray Larissa, God knows what you did. Pray for goodwill, kindness and respect. He has been lifting my spirit and giving me strength to part with loving you. You need Jesus and you’ll eventually need to seek my forgiveness if you really do value me as a friend for any of the rest of your life. Learn the difference between right and wrong.

It didn’t have to be like this.

Linda

June 01, 2012 @ (Canada)

Tags: break up cheating car crash

It's been a year since he left and I don't know if I'll ever get over him...
We met during college and didn't start dating till we graduated
We dated for 2 years and although we had our ups and downs, I loved being with him every second of the day
But during one time in our relationship, he cheated on me with my best friend
I found out that he was cheating on me and broke up with him straight away, although I didn't know who the girl was at the time
He kept begging me to take him back but I kept refusing until I realised that I actually missed him a lot
So, I went back with him again
A few weeks later, I found out that the girl he was cheating on with me was my BEST FRIEND
After finding out, I was so hurt and decided to break it off with him once and for all, I wanted nothing to do with him anymore, nor my best friend aswell...
So, I lost two important people at the same time
A year or so later, I bumped into him again and we started talking and eventually just became friends
Although, I kept contemplating on whether or not I should forgive him, because I knew that deep down inside he knew what he had done was wrong, and wanted me back because he still loved me, but he wanted me to be happy so he never asked for reconciliation
But truth is, was that deep down inside my heart, I still loved him, but I was scared of getting hurt again
One night while laying in bed, his parents called me to notify me that he suddenly got into a car crash
I rushed to the hospital and prayed so hard that he was going to be okay, because I wanted to tell him that I already forgave him and was ready start fresh with him, but it was too late...
It's been one year since he's gone and till this day, i still regret not forgiving him earlier, I still regret not taking him back, I feel as though I didn't let him leave this world peacefully...