Searching for "change"

195 Results For 'change'

Lou

July 10, 2012 @ (British Columbia)

Id met him on the first week of spring break, I was trying to get away from the chaos down in the city and had taken a bus up island to relax on the country side with a bottle of smirnoff in my hand. My friend who had gone with me found her spring break romance quickly and left me to my clouded mind. He (My soon to be love) had an unusual name, the name of a handbag and at first I wasn't sure if he was straight. We hit it off and after I had left to go back home we never stopped talking until the day I saw him again. He had a girlfriend at the time and I wasn't looking for anything in particular, but after several shots we found ourselves making out on the bridge in the park under the moonlit sky. He confessed to his girlfriend that he had been unfaithful and the trust she held for him slowly vanished. The night after it happened again.. a couple days later he ended his relationship with her and him and I started dating. I questioned his feelings for me, did he really know what he wanted? He told me that his relationship was beginning to fall apart anyways and that meeting me was just a push in the right direction. Because of how we had met, I tried not to fall in love with him to avoid being hurt but slowly began to give more of myself to him. He would tell me how much he loved me, how much he missed me and I would sit on my computer miles away from him and smile. One day when he had come down to see me, I curiously looked at the texts on his phone. I found messages that read "You're so cute" and "You have a nice ass" to two different girls. He tried to justify his actions by saying that he had "Weird" friendships with them. I grew to distrust him little by little, almost ending things with him on several occasions. The fear of being hurt interwined with the fear of losing him but deep down I knew he would never change, and he didnt. Whenever I would come up island he would text other girls, ignore me and have me buy him things. It became plainly obvious that he still held feelings for his ex girlfriend once she forgave him for betraying her and I realized that he was never mine to begin with. I could not wait for him to discover what he wanted because I could already see things beginning to fall apart.

Nataly

June 11, 2012 @ (California)

Tags: long term relationship, breakup

Question... How do you get over someone who you dated for almost 10 years? It would've been 10 years this year and at the moment I'm really upset. The first mistake I made was dating at such a young age. I was 12 and he was 13 and although we dated right away after meeting, he was my best friend. We've been through so much but never cheated on each other. I honestly thought by next year we would marry. He was actually the first to mention marriage years ago so over the years I believed it would happen. Anyway our relationship changed a few months ago starting with issues at each others home to him being unhappy with certain choices he's made in his life. Now he's completely distant and mean. He treats me like I never existed and keeps saying he wants to get his life together for himself. I get it but he's my life and all i've known. I still love him very much although he says he doesn't know if he still loves me. Anyway I'm just sad and can't understand how things changed so suddenly and I miss him. We still talk but he just hurts me by the way he acts and the things he says.

Michelle

June 03, 2012 @ (Provo, Utah)

Tags: Breakup, Friendship, Gay Best Friend

This isn't abnormal breakup story. This is a friendship breakup story. But I was in love and it hurts like hell.

About a year ago I started the job I'm currently at and I met someone there that I instantly knew was an amazing person and someone I was meant to be friends with. Well we did become friends, best friends in fact. Now would be a good time to mention he's gay. Anyways for the last 9 months he was a big if not the biggest part of my life. We did almost everything together. We would text all day every day. We didn't go more then a few days without seeing each other and most of my plans included him or were made around him. He soon became my everything. I didn't care he was engaged. He gave me the love and attention I so desperately craved. And I slowly started to fall in love with how he treated me and then I fell in love with him. But I tried hard to keep my feelings in check. And we had boundaries that helped with that.

Well at the end of February we went to visit our friend at college about 3 hours away. He is also gay. Well late that night things got weird. There was a 3 way kiss. And then there was cuddling, touching, scissoring, and just crazy awkward stuff. But I also enjoyed it because I loved my one friend and I wanted him to be in love with me. But there was a part of me that felt like I was included to prevent me from getting jealous and crazy. I also knew our relationship would never be the same because so many boundaries had been crossed.

Then 2 weeks later that same friend from college came to visit. And I decided I needed a break because I felt to attached to both of them. I also felt like my best friend had feelings for our mutual friend. But he assured me that he didn't. They both talked me out of taking a break and we decided to have a big party with alcohol at my bffs apartment. I knew this was not a good idea and bad things were going to happen but I secretly hoped that with enough alcohol in both of us something might happen. Well everyone got drunk. We ended up making out. But he made out with everyone. It was like a mini orgy. I was physically and emotionally sick. It couldn't be undone and my feelings were stronger but I also knew he didn't feel the same.

The next morning I found out he had lied to me and he actually had feelings for our friend. And that our friend had pretended to have feelings back. When I confronted him he to me said he was embarrassed and thought I'd freak out. His feelings for him confused him. And then he said my feelings for you sometimes confuse me. Something I believed and actually gave me a spark of hope.

From the time of the party on nothing was really the same. We fought often. I couldn't forgive him for lying to me. And my feelings for him were stronger then ever. Being around him gave me such happiness but also brought me agony. I was in love but he was never going to be in love with me. But I couldn't accept his love and friendship. I just wanted more. I pushed and pushed. I expected way too much. I told him every chance I got about my feelings for him. I to him those feelings brought me pain. I was suicidal. I was mean. I was angry. I did all of this to push him away and prove that he would walk away. Even though he said he never would.

About 3 weeks ago we got in a huge fight and I guess he had, had enough. He said even if i was a boy or if he was straight he wouldn't be in love with me. That all the nice things he told me around the time i found out he lied about our friend were actually more lies. That most of what he did day to day was out of guilt and to keep me alive. He told me he couldn't handle me and all that went along with me. He was done.

I was crushed and devastated! He was my whole world. My best friend and the guy I was in love with. It was like the one person I trusted the most ripped out my heart and shredded it. The pain was/is unbearable.

Now that said I realize that our relationship was unhealthy and things needed to change. I knew maybe a break was needed to. But I never expected him to walk away. I would NEVER walk away form him or any of my friends.

So like I said this is a different break up story but a break up story nonetheless.

Vonpire

May 30, 2012 @ (Australia)

Tags: break up communication

It just happened one month ago actually
He was my first boyfriend, and my first break-up
It was extremely hard for me and to be honest, I'm still not fully over it
We started dating at the start of the year, so it didn't last very long
But I really did like him a lot
Things started off great! But as time went on, we started to lack in communication
I was also quite shy and less confident while we were in a relationship
This affected him a lot as he fell for the cheery, crazy and happy person that I usually was, but he never saw that in our relationship
He no longer felt comfortable around me and his feelings began to change
He told me that he couldn't see us working through this and I begged so hard to keep working on it and trying to fix it
He told me he would give me some time and a few days later, I went to his house to sort things out
But he told me that his feelings had reduced so much that there was no point trying
I didn't want to hear anything he had to say and kept feeding him stuff on how we'll become stronger after this, and how I can change and how I'll still had hope in us
The more I tried persisting, the more harsh he was on me
After a long time, I finally let go
He said that he still wanted me to be that little sister I once was, and hearing that made me happy because at least I'll still be able to have him in my life
I clearly remember how hard it was for me during the first few weeks after the break up
I felt so alone and couldn't help but cry. I had no motivation to do anything but sleep. I had constant dreams about him where he was still by my side, but waking up was horrible because he was no longer there
But after thinking about it thoroughly, I miss him, a lot, but more as a brother
I then realised that I couldn't be myself in the relationship because I was more comfortable being his friend than his girlfriend
My feelings for him have faded now, although there is a some part of me that still loves him
If I could be given a second chance, I would definitely take that chance and this time, I'm not going to be afraid to be who I really am in the relationship
I asked if we could talk, but he wasn't ready to talk until I got over what happened between us. After he said that I got a bit frustrated because I wouldn't ask to talk if I wasn't over it, but I respect his decision
Hopefully soon, we'll be able to mend things back to the way they used to be...

Jack

May 27, 2012 @ (Texas)

Tags: 1

I really dont know what to do,

I had been dating this girl for about a year. We met in college and began dating rather quickly after we got past the friend stage. She was my first true girlfriend and long term relationship and I fell rather hard and rather quick. We argued like any normal couple did but it was always very petty. We argued basically because we loved each other so much. The girl was never a slut in any form and had only ever had sex with boyfriends of past ( i know this for a fact). she even held her self to this standard and seemed to be quite proud of it. She always spoke about wanting a good guy in her life because her previous ex had abused her and cheated on her. he used to text her a lot and she would always argue back but she showed me everything and i was never worried about her going back to him in any way. she was a very honest person and would never lie to me and our relationship was great. I did everything a good boyfriend should do i was 100% faithful, i did random things to get her affection, and would do all kinds of unasked favors just because i loved her. however she had one major flaw. She hated more then anything when she was wrong, to the point where she would become upset with me because she had wronged me. It was obvious who treated who better and even though she was so irrational sometimes i couldnt help but still love her and thing she will change. she told me she would change and i even tried to break up with her because of her actions but she begged me back. well a couple months ago she randomly broke up with me because we argued too much. after the breakup we continued to talk and after a few days we started talking about wanting to get back together. She said she wanted to take babysteps but contantly told me she loved me and when i asked if the breakup was for someone else she would tell me of course not and that she still loved me like i said. well one day i went out of town and before i left we went to eat. she told me she loved me kissed me and wanted to get back together. well even afterwards she was texting me saying she missed me and wanted to see me. I found out that weekend she had been just kind of texting around and wanting to go to some functions with fraternities a month in advance so i ended things with her on good and mutual terms that sunday.however right after this final ending i noticed a hugechange. before we broke up she always talked how shed always be there and still love me. Well for the next 5 weeks she went completely cold hearted. i didnt talk to her really except on rare occasion when i had a question about class. she would freak out and just be a total bitch. I couldnt figure it out why and i would ask her why do you hate me why cant we separate personal from school and what did i do to deserve all this. she would always overreact and say how she didnt hate me but she would continue to be a bitch. i found out about that 5th week that she had started having sex with another guy who was basically completely random. I was under the impression it happened after the final ending but i came to realize that it actually happened that same friday she was talking about getting back with me. I was devastated because this was so out of character for her and it made even less sense that she was being so bitchy all along when she had wronged me. help me understand why she is acting like this. we have since ended all forms of communication she blocked my number etc because like i said she cant stand being wrong and couldnt take the heat of me calling her out. i even went as far as to ask her why she would do that after telling me all those things and she responded in a way that showed pride in her actions. I cant understand why this girl who was supposed to have a great moral fiber would do this. is it because she truly loves me and hates herself for what she did and its just a defense mechanism? she still has yet to apologize for her actions and she had sex with him 3 months ago ad weve been broken up that long. she even goes to the links to kiss him in front of me in bars to try and prove a point.

Cc

May 23, 2012 @ (NA)

Tags: Break up

I dont know what to do. Here's my story.

I was friends with him for a year and a half before we got together. Even as friends, I knew he likes to manipulate people's feelings so that they do what he wants. He manipulated me into feeling guilty many times before and I knew he wasn't the man I was looking for. But my best friend got together with a guy I had a crush on and I was never going to get. He was recovering from his recent breakup with someone he had a long history with. So I started to go out with him.

It was my first real relationship (I'm 22). When I told my friends and family about him after a month, most of them told me they didn't like him. Some of my friends knew him from school, and warned me about being with him. I did break up with him because of that, but I also felt bad and ran back to beg for forgiveness the next day. It should've ended right there. But I was lonely and I don't like feeling I've been unfair to him.

Then for the next year and a half, we broke up numerous times and got back together the same number of times. There was never a time we were officially broken up for more than 10 days. A year ago, I told my friends and family after a break up that we were done and I never updated them that we got back together again. It was just too much drama and stupidity on my part. After most of the break ups, either of us would just begs the other for forgiveness and another chance. Because there were just too many times that had happened, I actually made a promise to myself that I won't say it again unless I meant it.

For the last two months, I feel that he's been neglecting me and mostly just spending all his time with the people at his business. I knew he really wanted make it a success, so I had gotten involved with his business too, but not helping him as much as he liked. But I was at the office ten hours a week or more until April when I had to concentrate on my exams. A few weeks ago, I realized that I'm nowhere near the top of his priorities, and he won't call or text me during the day because he's "too busy at work".

The catalyst for the break up was he promised to take me to see a movie, but he pushed it back time and time again, and I, being very considerate, allowed it. But that last time, I told him to set a firm date and time, but he just told me not to bother him about it, he's tired, etc. I broke up with him through text after I hung up. That was two weeks ago. I felt sad every day since then, I cry on and off all day and night and sometimes feel that my life is meaningless. But some days i feel fine.

I care deeply for him. We met up last week, and I pretended that I was normal and told him that we can be friends. Last night, I texted him whether I can drop by his place at night (he lives a 5min walk away) and talk. He told me not to. I guess he was right, cuz I just wanted to see him and see how he's doing. Like he isn't a bad person and I learned to be a better person because of him. I just feel that he didn't treat me right, especially in the last months. Maybe he just doesn't love me as much. But I had grown to care for him and think of him everyday during our 1.5yrs together. I think of him constantly and I get teary and cry all the time now.

I want to tell him why I broke up with him and ask why he agreed (we never had a conversation about this). I want to see how he's doing. I want to tell him that of he just changed how he treats me I would stay with him. I think all this time, I've just been wishing that he would change for me since I knew that him as himself is not who I want (am I confusing you? Lol). He doesn't contact me now unless its about his business or unless I texted him first. What should I do?

Anonymous

May 20, 2012 @ (FL)

Tags: die, dying, abortion

I dated a girl name Alyssa for 2 years and about 5 months. We moved to attend grad school in a new city so I spent every hour of fall 2010 either studying or with her, so I had no friends nearby. We had had some rocky times because I did study abroad and was entering law school, but basically she didn't trust me and I didn't communicate how much I loved her. It was fine to break up over that, but the way she did it was unacceptable.

One night she kept talking about her friend Karen, but it was really really suspicious how nervous she was and for some reason 2 girls drinking a whole bottle of whiskey in a night seemed like a stretch. So I look at her facebook page from that night "Great night with KC and AC" KC was Karen, AC I quickly figured out was Anthony something. I confront her and she breaks up with me. We exchange our things about 5 days later and she tells me she has already gone on 2 dates with him. We talk one more time and she tells me not to call unless there is an emergency.

About 2 days later I destroy my knee playing soccer. Tear all 4 main ligaments, other smaller ligaments and tendon, smash nerves, etc. My knee stayed out of the socket. A major risk of this is that you can cut off the circulation and/or sever the vein in your leg which can cause you to die or have your leg amputated. Surgeon comes in and tells me I have about a 40% chance of dying within the next 48 hours. So I call Alyssa because I could be dying, I think that qualifies as an emergency. Goes to voicemail. I text her asking just to talk over the phone since I know no one at school since I spent all my free time with her first semester. No response text at first then she said "I won't talk to you. Have your mom call me tomorrow when she gets in from her emergency flight." So I was left in the hospital to die alone by her.

It gets better... A couple of weeks later I am just at rock bottom. On pain medicine (I didn't walk for about 2 or 3 months the injury was so bad). I called her angry and she told me that she was pregnant. The guy she ran off on from me Anthony whatever had knocked her up. So she aborted it.

When someone is potentially dying in the hospital and has no one there and they request you to call just for an hour to talk it takes a pretty selfish person to refuse. I think most people would (and for that matter should) drive to the hospital to keep someone company until their family arrives.

Long story short, it takes a pretty selfish immature cold hearted person to leave someone in the hospital to die and then to abort their kid.

Bella

April 27, 2012 @ (new york)

Tags: breakup

We met back in high school, good friends I can say. Yes I was attracted to him but never paid attention to that. he's older so he graduated before I did and we lost contact. 3 years later I randomly thought of him and look him up on Facebook. We exchange numbers and make plans to hang out. We hung out a few times just as friends,it was great I had a blast with him. We spent every night together just hanging out for about a month then he invites me to his place and, we hook up. He admits to me he had a thing for me back in high school too. We start seeing each other and after awhile we discuss ”us” and we agree to take things to the next level later on cause we're not ready. I loved everything about being with him, everything. We often had fights but that never really effected us. The situation at home took a turn for the worse when I had to make the decision of moving out of state, rather far. I try to find an alternate solution before breaking it to him but no luck. I break the news to him - I'd never seen him so angry. Not the reaction I was expecting. Everything went downhill from there. I wasn't suppose to leave for another 2 months though but we started to drift before that. I start seeing someone else - rebound I guess, I was both hurt and angry at him. He cuts me off when he finds out about it. It turns out Im staying and not moving out of state, still moving from that town though. I was over him, I thought. All my things are packed, half of my furniture is out. He lives maybe 10 blocks from me, 3 minute drive. I feel so guilty about the way things ended so I get in contact with him and ask him to see me. It took some convincing but he agreed to see me that night. He picks me up, the car ride is silent until I b lurt out how sorry I am. We never officially ended what we had, so when I got with this new guy, he was under the impression that we were still together and that's why he cut off - a total misunderstanding. That evening/morning was amazing. I thought everything would go back to normal, maybe even better than before. He drops me off in the morning, says he can see himself falling in love with me and that even when I was with that other guy I was still his girl and all this other bullshit. I go to bed, and wake up to his texts. We talk all day and all night. But that's the last day I saw him. The Next day he doesn't reply to anything I send him. Days go by, and still nothing. I was so utterly confused and hurt. I resort to Facebook I finally get a reply and all he says is ” what do you want?” I get the hint, just don't understand why. But okay, whatever.
It never occurred to me that I didn't mention to him that I wasn't moving out of state.
Months go by. I'm with other men but none of them phase me - the way he did. I get in contact with him and we end up having a very casual conversation. At the very least I thought we could keep our friendship but again, cuts me off. Wtf!
Here I am a year later, still thinking about him. I can't have a successful relationship because I still have some very strong feelings for him.
All my friends tell me to let it go... How many times have I tried that already? It seems impossible. It's not that I want to be with him, I just want an explanation so I can sleep at night.
If I had the opportunity to talk to him, do you think I should? I wouldn't know what to say or how to say it. I don't know how he'd react to me..

Krissy

April 24, 2012 @ (USA)

Tags: heart break

I thought I was in love. I thought he was the one, and after having several bad realstion ships I was excited. He was everything I wanted. We dated for a year and a half, and in the beginning it was great. But as time went on he talked to me less and less, NEVER EVER hung out with me. I had to beg. When i told him i loved him he never say it back. I thought I was doing something wrong. I thought I needed to change. So for our one year I made him a scrapbook I spent months on. What does he say? "Oh.. nice thanks." I didn't get anything for valentines day.... and then soon he just felt completely distant. He was planning to go to new York to school, and when I asked him what was going to happen to us, he says "I dunno." I never got an answer. I soon became so lonely, waiting for him and practically kissing his feet. I became depressed and soon got fed up. I broke up with him (after many harsh words from him) and I figured if he loved me he would try to come back. He never did. He never told me he loved me. I wasted a year and a half on him. Never again. I am hoping the one for me is still out there, but for now I still cry over him.

Payuyi

April 19, 2012 @ (new york)

Tags: sad

We were eachothers first love, everything was soo perfect untill one day when we got in a fight because he said he was going on a date with a girl, of course i got mad and told him not to talk to me anymore then he told me that i was going to be that date and i apologized but i guess it was too late by now he told me that it was best if we broke up because i jump to conclusions and the distance. The next day we got back together but then for a month and about 2 weeks things werent the same anymore we were on and off, i kept leaving him because he wasnt sweet and i just felt unapreciated all the time but my love for him was so strong that i kept beggin him to come back and he did but each time it was getting harder and harder. I did tell him how he made me feel and he said he was 'trying' but it didnt feel like it.
He really hates my Bff and one day when i was feeling really bad and unapreciated i told my bestfriend to say he was in love with me, he got mad and started hating him even more, at first i was a little happy knowing he cared, thats all i ever wanted him to care for me and love me as much as i love him.
One day after our last breakup we were talking and then i got confused with somthing he said and i thought he said my bff told him everything, *by this time me and my bff got in a fight so i thought he was trying to get back at me* so i explained to him y i told my bff to say that , i told him i just wanted him to care but he just got really mad and acted like he hated me, i know that was a really bad idea and i regret doing that.. he told me to hurt my bff and i said ok i was *i wasnt tho* and i told him how i felt, that i loved him and that i just want him to be sweet again but all he kept saying was 'ok' to my long messages.. he has my fB info and he read a conversation with another friend where i said me and my bff made up, he sent me a message telling me he never felt this used before and that i lied to him all the times when i said i loved him.
i told him he had no right to get upset becasue he wanted me to screw off and that i did love him
thn i told him that i was really sorry and that i was always gonna love him and that i was gonna leave him alone now.
Well i ended my friendship with my bff cuz i knew that was wat he wanted even tho it wasnt gonna change anything between us, i havent been on fB at all in 2 weeks.. ive been trying to get over him thats why i havent been on but part of me says maybe he realized how important you are to him this time you were gone. Im really scared of loggin in Fb because wat if he already has another girl i dnt wanna see that and get hurt and wat if when i log in i find a message saying he wants me back and now everything will change to the way it was , wat if all we needed was a lil break
idk im just stuck i have hope that everything will go back to how it was before but at the same time im scared of finding out somthing i dnt wanna know
*i dnt have him as a friend on fb anymore but i cn still see his picture cuz he was the last message*
i want to move on but its soo hard idk wat to do.. any advise? :/