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Zach

February 14, 2012 @ (Canada)

Tags: Best Friend, Messy, Life Goes on,

So I've been through a lot this past year and I feel like I am falling into the same pattern. It all started when I came out of the closet in February of 2008, my best friend didn't really know how to handle it. I could tell that he really wasn't okay with it, what I didn't know was that it was because he was actually gay too. So a few months after I came out out he eventually told me he was fine with it, and it was one of the happiest moments of my life. As time passed I noticed a change in him and then in July of 2009 he came out to me, and my reaction was well a little surprised. I never would have thought he was ever gay, he tried so hard to conceal that he was gay, he even dated and slept with girls, so it took some real evidence to prove that he wasn't messing with me. So he told me about the guy he had been seeing and it was all fine and dandy. Since I had met my best friend I always found him attractive, but now he was actually available. Summer turned to fall and soon enough he told me that he wasn't gay anymore, that 'it was a lifestyle choice he didn't wish to pursue.' I didn't believe him then and I don't believe him now mostly because I've seen him on a gay dating site recently. But never the less I still really liked him. He showed me this dating site that he used to meet guys and he signed me up, even though 'he wasn't gay anymore' he always insisted that I go out and meet guys, he was rather adamant which I found a bit odd, considering he was never interested in my love life before. Things began to get messy when he started to act out and act well a little recklessly, mostly because we and all of our friends were turning 19 and could start drinking, so he'd drive drunk, and he would do just do the dumbest things. This behavior went on for a year which brings us to 2011. 2011 was a very hard year for me. One day in the middle of July and I don't know the exact date, but he came over with some stuff I left at his house and he handed the items to me. I asked what was wrong and if he wanted to get a coffee, and he said 'Why would we do that?' and I said 'Because we're friends' and he replied 'Are we?' After that he turned away and I never saw him again. A month later I found out it was because I had feelings for him and that he had told all of our friends that I was a liar and horrible friend, that I was somehow delusional and that I had gone around spreading lies that he was gay when I told maybe 2 people who didn't say a word. So in the end he turned out to just be a coward who was trying to save his own ass who didn't care who he hurt in the process. Its been 7 months and I still haven't spoken or seen him, in the end I realized he would never have the courage to tell people how he really felt about anything or that he would never have the courage to tell anyone that he was a homosexual, and sometimes I feel like I may have hindered that. But its not always going to be my fault the blame will fall on him and all the lies and all the pettiness will catch up to him and everyone will see him for what he is. I won't vilify him and he shouldn't vilify me, we were both in our own ways wrong. I don't miss him anymore, I don't even want to be friends with him, mostly because of this one simple fact, I was his best friend and he always told me we would be friends no matter what, and I think to myself;I was hi best friend and look what he did to me? Why would I want to be friends with such a selfish person? Who put his own need to hide a silly secret above my feelings, I guess I wasn't as important to him as he liked to say, because if I was he would have at least talked to me and tried to work it out. I won't ever go back because I know if I did everything would be like it was before, he wouldn't respect me and it would be a misrealble disaster.

I'm moving on and more and more I am forgeting him, it started in September when I realized I couldn't remember the sound of his voice or his laugh, then things about him started to slip, and now I am starting to forget what he looked like, I feel like one day I'll need to grab a picture to remember him.

Jessicaa

January 28, 2012 @ (tx)

Tags: love hurts, im sorry

It all started in 8th grade this shy quiet guy name christian was in my class he was really shy and like he would hang around my crew but wwe really didnt fuck wit him like that..I was a very loud girl very popular.. and i would always bully him because he was shy but then he starte dating this girl and they dated for a year but he was till shy.. oh yea and he was smart too.. but like a year later in my freshman my friend andrea showed him a picture of me in new years and like he saw it and he said "damn she fine" he was saying that bout me wellshe told me and i was like who is christian i already had forgot bout him till i seen him in the hall way and like i told her to tell him that he was fine theni got his number from her.. so we started txtin him and like he was the sweeetest guy in the world he cared about me even back then when we havent even had started dating like he seemed to match to the "perfect" guy every girl would like to meet.. so we started dating on 2.25.10 but we broke up like on june 30. 2010 because iwasnt sure of what i felt for him anymore... i was confused i was so used to being single and like i wanted my freedom back and i broke up with him poor him he was torn apart i broke his heart and i was his second gf. well like a month or two later we started dating again till like my "bestfriend" told him that i cheated on him and it was a total lie why would i cheat on him when he was the sweetest guy in the world the guy i loved the guy i wanted to spend the rest of my life with... well we broke up and like a month later we got together again and another "bestfriend" told him i had cheated and i dint cheat this time.. they where jus mad because of the guys they loved didnt wanna b with them anymore.. well we got back together...again.. till i forgave one of the girls that said shit to him and he got mad told me no to hangout with her or any of my other firends i said okay so i lost all my friends.. well me and this girl started being friends again and like she took me somewhere and he got mad and broke up wit me... this was 7.2.11 and like since then i would txt him nad i wouldnt get a respond soo i would one day i wanted to see if i was still important to him so i made up a lie and told him i had cancer, and i also told him i was pregnant! but he caught me in my lies and didnt wanna b wit my anymore and he dindt get the pont that i did it jus so i can be with him..he never really appreciated me he started being mean to me and like wold even put his hands on me.. but now this month he told mehe wanted to work this out we have been having sex again but after i left him get it he left me for a girl that has been tryna get wit him for about two years.. and like now im heartbroken 1/28/2012 i was so used to him :(

Confused

January 23, 2012 @ (adelaide)

Tags: hurt, confused

So i was at school walking around when this guy called me over too him, wed been talking alot on facebook but hadnt officially met. he was such a sweetheart and anything you could ever want as weeks past i started getting feelings for him he admitted he was too wed text, latenight phonecls, hug and his when we seen eachother at school. I really feel gor him and he always said he had really big feelings for me too until oneday i found.out he got into a relationship with another girl. he just kept lying and saying he wasnt but i knew it was true. i was so hurt how could a guy lead me on so far then just act like nothing happened. we stopped talking for awhile and then oneday he told me whenever he seen me hed remember the feelings he had for me and stuff. then 8months past and him and her broke up and he started texting me again and he got his bestfriend too text me and i was getting along well with both of them until james(the guy who played me) stopped txting me but me and beau (james bestmate) kept texting wed talk everyday and night and id tell him how i still had feelings for james and hed tell me to tell him and then a month later beau and mine texts got flirty and he ended.up coming to my house after showcase he parked behind.the fence and i snuck out to see him and we were play fighting then wed hug and then we starting kissing and we were talking and mucking around then.kissing again.and then.he had to leave to pick up his mate and he kept txting me after that we got along well but when i wss with him id have huge butterflies and a warm fuzzy feeling and this was the third timee being with him then the next day after school he picked me.up and i went back to his and we were being goobs and kissed againand i was there for awhile then id left to go home. tthen a few weeks later he asked me if it was ok to tell james that hed kissed me and stuff and i was like yeah then james started txting me saying beau and - kissing in the tree blah blah acting all jelousy now its been 2months and i thought i had feelins for james still and told him i wanted to be with him and he told me he felt the same but then.his ex told me he had kept ringing her telling her he still loved her and how he was flirting with other girls so i soughted my shit out and stopped talking to him and ive realised i like his bestfriend and his bestmate says he still likes me abit and his who i imagine myself with now. i honestly am so confused i dont know what to do cause i want tk be with beau so thats why i stopped talking to james but i dont know whether to tell beau how i feel or just stay friends with benifits cause i really like him and i know my situation could ruin their frienfships but it wont. and i dont know what to do ? Please help guys xx

Jess

January 16, 2012 @ (Australia)

Tags: phone, crazy

Me and this guy weren't exactly dating but I had to break up with him anyway. I met a guy and gave him my number. I then accidently left my phone at my friends house. My phone was there a few days. I thought I would just explain it to him, if he called or messaged me. I got my phone back and it happened to be my birthday. There were a bunch of msgs beforehand. These are the text messages that followed.
Him: Did you have some company last night? I cant be with someone who is going to play around. Not having it. So please explain....(separate msg)I thought u were different, obviously I am wrong again.
Me: I left my phone at a mate's house and got it about 12 last night. I didnt think it would have been nice of me to msg u then. But thanks, this is exactly what I wanted to wake up to on my birthday. By the way, my friend told me his dad had cancer thus why things have been hard for me to get my phone.
Him: Ok then just wanted to know. Happy birthday hunny, hope you have a great day and I hope I cans ee u soon xoxo
Me: Why the hell would u assume I had company? Why would u assume the worse of someone u barely know? I'm not your GF. My mother doesnt even speak to me like that. Why dont u explain?
Him: I know your not my gf. Ur friend texted me back off your phone (my friend had told him to stop calling because I didnt have my phone). And he said he couldn't tell me his name. If you want me to go I will.
Me: Why would my friend need to tell you his name? Why would his name matter? If u wanted an explanation you should have asked nicely. If something like this sets u off into insulting me, its really not gonna work out ever.
Him: Ok all the best...(again new message)...Ur a quitter. You'll be a lonely old woman. It sounds like you'll get what you deserve so good luck with someone that'll put up with that...Quitter....So u quit an arguement. lmfao...Its just an excuse so u can flirt with guys tonight on your birthday...classy whose place are you gonna leave your phone at this time. lmfao...get f***ed.

Anony-mous

January 09, 2012 @ (la)

Tags: trust, heartbreak

i've been with a girl for about 1.5 years. i met her in nyc. i'm originally from the west coast, but i moved to the city 2 years ago. anyway, throughout our entire time together, it felt like a never-ending "honeymoon phase". we were passionately in love with each other, and extremely affectionate. i moved in with her a year ago because i lost my job. she was kind enough to open her home to me. she's been nothing but amazing. her family loves me. she loves me. we had plans for the future, even plans of marriage.

though, at this moment, i am currently in la (for a short vacation) and she's in nyc. she broke up with me on the phone this morning because i'm too insecure. i have trust issues (that i am working on) and she's just tired. she's giving up on this relationship because she's tired of my lack of trust. that, i understand. but i'm confused because it was so sudden.

i think it's serious this time. we had a joint bank account for our apartment savings, and she removed her share of the money. now it's almost half-empty.

but, i'm flying back to nyc tomorrow morning. i thought about not flying back at all to avoid seeing her (just because it will be too hard), but i can't not show up for work. i at least have to put in my two weeks and get the rest of my stuff at her place. i also have unfinished business in nyc that can't be left neglected.
i also need more closure than this. i've been crying constantly all day. i've been going into my car and crying hysterically so no one would hear me. i am going through so much pain because i'm starting to believe that this is really IT. she's been the most amazing girlfriend to me, so supportive, faithful, genuine, and perfect. her imperfections are perfect to me.
i hope this was out of anger. and that she didn't mean it. otherwise, i'm on a one-way flight back to los angeles with a broken heart and a broken dream.

Mychelle

January 08, 2012 @ (United States)

Tags: errands

We had been dating a year and a half, tonight was supposed to be his housewarming party so i got all cute for for it. We had been having some problems in our relationship but they were things that just needed to be talked about and worked on. And i was already having a bad week, i was late to work and got fired two days before, so this party was going to be a good time to just relax and have fun for a night. Around noon he texted me that we needed to have a talk, I already agreed to it but i was thinking wed get all upset and it might ruin the party for us. So about an hour before it starts he comes over, gets in my car with me and tells me its not working for him. He doesnt like my personality, im always getting on his nerves, and hes just not happy with me. Just like that. As ui cried he continued to check his watch and then said "Well i have some errands to run" and left.

Jolene

January 02, 2012 @ (Aus)

Tags: 1

We weren't together long, probably only over a month and the relationship felt kind of rushed, as if everything just went way too fast. It isn't as if I regret anything about the relationship as it happened, I just think it would've turned out better if it didn't go so fast.
Anyway, all of a sudden when the holidays began we saw each other less and less. I was told that he was working too much and he was too tired to see me. When I asked about our lack of communication he said that he was just too tired and that I never really talked to him. It was frustrating and despairingly I attempted a sort of silent approach interspersed with periods of strained conversation (not face to face). I have no idea how any of this was supposed to help and so I just left it. He didn't 'have time' to see me...okay, then I'll just go on and assume that he's just not interested anymore.
So basically my breakup was a prolonged period of confusion in which the dumper let me work it out for myself that we were no longer together. Whether this method of indirect break up was an act of cowardice, laziness or (seriously misguided) kindness I don't know. We still talk occasionally through social networks and such and are supposedly 'friends' in a weird way that feels like nothing meaningful. I don't feel any resentment towards him (or try not to) because this stuff happens and people lose interest. Except I hope that when it does happen most people explain this to the persons' face and don't let them painstakingly figure it out for themselves.

Eldon Matashaw

December 30, 2011 @ (Lebanon Missouri)

Tags: love, marriage, god

I am lost in my heart and my soul. I am very active in my church and I spend a great deal of time proselytizing to help bring others to Christ. Ever since I was 14 our minister has taken a special hand in my learning of Gods will and ways. He even encouraged me to date his adopted daughter Svetlana after he brought her here from Russia. A couple of years later, Pastor Williams encouraged me to marry Svetlana even though we were both still in school. We were married when I was 16 and she was 14. I was nervous as I was a virgin on our wedding night and I wanted to take it slow but Svetlana was very insistant that we have sex. We made love once, then she never wanted to do it any more. 6 months later our beautiful daughter Kima was born, 8 lbs 4 ounces and looked just like her mother. Pastor Williams was so helpful always offering to look after my wife and baby when ever he sent me out to spread the word of God. I had to leave school, because Pastor told me God spoke to him and said I was to be his beacon in the land to guide folks to his eternal love. I was often gone from home for many days and sometimes weeks as Pastor gave me instructions on where to spread His word. One day I was traveling near our home town, so I decided to stop in to see my family. When I went in to our trailer, I found my wife and Pastor Williams asleep in our bed. I could see they were both naked. I was so confused and I left without saying anything. A few days later, I talked to Pastor about it and he said the two of them had been praying and speaking in tongues. They had both been so posessed by the spirit, they chose to bare themselves to the Lord. He assured me that they had not engaged in fornication and that they both were just so exhausted they fell asleep. I believed him because I know he would never lie as it is a sin. Well, last week I found out Svetlana is pregnant again and her and I have not had sex since our wedding night. When I asked the Pastor for guidance, he told me I needed to "man up" and take care of my family. He explained to me that some women can carry a mans seed for years and have several children from only one mating. But then a sister in the church told me that she knew Pastor and my wife were committing adultry and that Pastor is actually the father of my Kima and my unborn child. I dont know who to believe, but I am so hurting in my soul. I think this may be the Lord testing me, or perhaps Satan trying to destry another of God's unions. I asked Svetlana to be truthful with me, and she just left and went to tell Pastor that I am being sinful in mistrusting her. I got on the internet to seek answers and somehow wound up on this site. I see so much pain here, and somehow feel kinship with it. But I also want you all to know, God loves you all, and he wants only your happiness. God has a plan. May he bless us all, Amen.

Shane

December 21, 2011 @ (North America)

Tags: example1

Two son's,grandbaby,Big house,cottage,condo in the south,boat,personal watercrafts,atv's,cars,income....Gave it all up for love.
My wife was more like a work partner.Did everything for me and the family. She had very low self esteem and didn't want to do anything socially just with her family.We were intamit twice in 6 years. I had a female friend I use to visit about 16 or 17 years ago strictly platonic we just enjoyed each others company without feeling any pressure. Well we ran in to each other again and a relationship developed this time, I know "shame on me". I fell in love with this woman and we have been together a little over a year.I left my wife and she left her husband. Her two daughters have adjusted extremely well. I love this woman but I’m also heart broken.No one in my previous family has anything to do with me at all not my son's or granddaughter, in-laws, no one. My ex-wife has all the material items, everything including $2,000.00 I deposit in her account every month, we have never been to court or had any outside settlement input. She is still devastated and so are the kids. I’m happy, extremely happy but heartbroken. Sometimes I even feel like I should take my own life just to have the pain and suffering that I have caused other people.
Thanks for a place to vent.
Happy but heartbroken, my sons were my best friends period...I miss them so much.

Paul

December 20, 2011 @ (US)

Tags: army break up

Heres a little backround first; Well I started dating this girl April first, a year ago.. This being my senior year in high school, we did about everything together.. Homecoming, prom, etc.... I gave up so much for this girl. I lost so many friends to just be with this girl. I could honestly say this was my first love, and my longest relationship so far... Since mom ey is tight with my family, I thought the best solution for me to go to college was enlist with the Army..heres where my story begins....
I had to head off to boot August 2nd.. To fort benning, for infantry training, right before I left my family and her went out to dinner and such, really had a nice time.. Everything was perfect between us, gave her a final kiss good bye, and off I went..
So basic started I wrote this girl, every single day for nine Weeks... She wrote me twice, toward thr beginning, everything seemed okay, she said she missed and loved me etc..then she just stopped. I kept writing, and wondering whats going on.. At week 9 we got our 36 hour pass. I call her up and she literally was just like "oh hey" in thr most unenthusiastic voice ever, I was so excited to talk to her, she was all that was on my mind for Weeks... And she didnt even care.... We ended up fighting over it.. I was pretty unhappy about it. I expected a bigger reaction I guess..
I ended up breaking my leg and sent home for con leave, comes to find out shes been seeing another dude, she changed her status to single on fb and starts hittin up all these guys... After all this, I still wanted to try and make it work. She acts like im the bad guy, and I deserve this... I just dont get, after dating for a year and a half, I couldn't even get a letter saying "f you, im done" or anything... She just left me in the cold..I still think about her to this day. I've been miserable since she left me, no girl has made me feel the way she did.