Tags: Morrissey
"My Larissa", "Baby", "hunny"… fuck. In your head you broke up with me 3 months ago but it took you til 3 weeks ago to really do it. That’s how complicated you are. To lose your feelings is one thing, but to play pretend and say you love me when you don’t really care about me is fucked. You’re a coward and I don’t respect you for what you put me through. You don’t want to call me and rather email me? I miss… whom you used to be, the shy girl with brown eyes, big hair and red lips. I don’t miss the lying little girl you are to me now. It makes sense why you didn’t like serious moments, or taking pictures, or being around my family at times, and why you acted up, said disrespectful things and treated me the way you did. You’re the worst girlfriend I’ve ever had.
I saw it in the first place when you cheated on me, I made the mistake of forgiving you and what happened thereafter wasn’t fair to me. I was doing everything I could, the best I could do to believe we can be happy together. You were bringing me down, you were making me think I was doing something wrong and you broke my heart. I spent all this time getting to know you; I always went out of my way to be with you. In-between working a lot, skating as much as I could, growing my business, getting fired, having you cheat on me, all the depressing feelings, you going out drinking too much, me not being motivated to skate, bummed out over everything, to getting new jobs, significantly improving my situation, then, to watch you lead me to a shot in the dark.
My ex cheated on me, as you know. Remember we said we wouldn’t ever put each other through the same things others did to us? Lucky for me I was cheated on twice in a row, right? How did I get such good aim with finding very messed up people? It’s a real bummer. I knew you were hiding something from me, I knew I couldn’t trust you and I went to your house that night for the same reason I sent you a birthday card you didn't deserve... to get the truth. No more lies Larissa, take my information off your resume and don’t give anyone my letter of recommendation. If I get a call I will tell them that you never worked for me, I will be honest and admit it’s all bullshit and that you are not a good candidate.
You’re brown jacket you left in my trunk is in the trash.
Life is going to hit you eventually and it will be a night-terror come true. I showed you what you’ve been missing, freed you from your broken home, into mine countless nights and held your hand through the ups and downs. I looked out for you and was there for you. You cover up your sadness pretty well but one day it will all come out when you least expect it. You can’t hide it forever. You are weak. You have a lot of growing up to do. You’re not looking for someone to sweep you off your feet. You’re lonely, you are lost, but I found you and met you for some reason. But someone who deserves me and will treat me right is in my future. I’m a good man, a gentleman, one of the most positive people you’ll ever meet, I have a passionate heart, desire to be someone great and I did my best.
It’s fitting you have a tattoo of a rose, roses are beautiful but every rose has it’s thorns and they hurt, especially when you don’t deserve to feel them. This whole thing is a shame and it’s much too late for goodbyes. Pray Larissa, God knows what you did. Pray for goodwill, kindness and respect. He has been lifting my spirit and giving me strength to part with loving you. You need Jesus and you’ll eventually need to seek my forgiveness if you really do value me as a friend for any of the rest of your life. Learn the difference between right and wrong.
It didn’t have to be like this.
I dated a girl name Alyssa for 2 years and about 5 months. We moved to attend grad school in a new city so I spent every hour of fall 2010 either studying or with her, so I had no friends nearby. We had had some rocky times because I did study abroad and was entering law school, but basically she didn't trust me and I didn't communicate how much I loved her. It was fine to break up over that, but the way she did it was unacceptable.
One night she kept talking about her friend Karen, but it was really really suspicious how nervous she was and for some reason 2 girls drinking a whole bottle of whiskey in a night seemed like a stretch. So I look at her facebook page from that night "Great night with KC and AC" KC was Karen, AC I quickly figured out was Anthony something. I confront her and she breaks up with me. We exchange our things about 5 days later and she tells me she has already gone on 2 dates with him. We talk one more time and she tells me not to call unless there is an emergency.
About 2 days later I destroy my knee playing soccer. Tear all 4 main ligaments, other smaller ligaments and tendon, smash nerves, etc. My knee stayed out of the socket. A major risk of this is that you can cut off the circulation and/or sever the vein in your leg which can cause you to die or have your leg amputated. Surgeon comes in and tells me I have about a 40% chance of dying within the next 48 hours. So I call Alyssa because I could be dying, I think that qualifies as an emergency. Goes to voicemail. I text her asking just to talk over the phone since I know no one at school since I spent all my free time with her first semester. No response text at first then she said "I won't talk to you. Have your mom call me tomorrow when she gets in from her emergency flight." So I was left in the hospital to die alone by her.
It gets better... A couple of weeks later I am just at rock bottom. On pain medicine (I didn't walk for about 2 or 3 months the injury was so bad). I called her angry and she told me that she was pregnant. The guy she ran off on from me Anthony whatever had knocked her up. So she aborted it.
When someone is potentially dying in the hospital and has no one there and they request you to call just for an hour to talk it takes a pretty selfish person to refuse. I think most people would (and for that matter should) drive to the hospital to keep someone company until their family arrives.
Long story short, it takes a pretty selfish immature cold hearted person to leave someone in the hospital to die and then to abort their kid.
Tags: sighs
So me and this girl had dated for about 7 months. The first 5 months was perfect, we were in the honeymoon stage and it was full of love. About 2 months ago, she has this personal problem that she couldnt tell me but I can see a big shift in the relationship. She told me that this personal problem has caused an effect in our relationship and there wasnt anything I she and I can do about it. Things went down hill from here because shes become more snappy. We got into this one petty fight and I walked away because it wasnt necessary. She then later on said something that really got to me, she said that I have no urge to fight and that makes her lose interests and she think she can walk all over me. Maybe its the age difference, im 29 and shes 22 but I dont like fighting over small things especially I already accepted the fact that she is high temper issue. But after this incident, I started having dilemmas with my actions, always questioning whether I'm being too nice or maybe I should be mean. This causes big time withdrawal and I feel like I can't be myself around her most of the time. Since Valentine, we stopped having sex because she has this health issue (i know it wasnt an excuse cuz she has many doctor visits). And then comes the personal problems, she stopped making time for me but rather stay busy with work, school and her friends. A kiss becomes a peck on the lips, holding hands become very vague. The only thing I feel like we truly still had was we still called each other sweet names and quick kisses here and there. I tried to understand and deal with it because I respect her space/time to deal with personal problems. It wasnt easy but I had friends to talk to and helped me through it. About a week ago, we took off on a cruise and the entire time I had to play the "careless attitude" game and to her, I came off as blunt and rude. So be it but I didnt have any more rooms to suppress my feelings about the situation. Then on the way home from the cruise, my ex started venting about her relationship to me (note that she does talked to her ex and whenever my ex contacted me before I always let her know and she said she doesnt care, we have that trust) so I was in a venting mode and vented back. After a few texts, I realized this is wrong because my ex started to tell me if this girl doesnt treat you right then leave her. That doesnt help me, I felt like my ex was trashing on my relationship so I stopped and deleted the thread. My current girlfriend saw that i was texting the ex and later checked my phone but only saw the last part of the message (which said my bf stopped talking to me and walked out of the room, she was venting). To her, this is a dishonest act that I deleted the message, she thinks I have something to hide and she said she lost complete trust in me. I understand where she comes from but I really was deleting the message out of my own guilt and not hiding anything but she doesnt believe me. She said that she has major trust issue and to others this may not be a big deal but to her its a huge deal. I asked her how she felt about us, she said that she doesnt think I can ever cheat on her and that Im the best guy shes ever dated (she dated many guys before but they were all the assholes type so I spent most of my time to show her that good guy does existed and always go out of my way to make her happy) but she cannot trust me after what happened even if she forgives me and broke up the relationship. Ive asked all my friends and they said it was a harsh decision but I need opinions from someone that doesn't know me so please help. I also know that what I did was wrong and I wrote her an apology letter to own all the faults I created but it didnt seem to affect her decision. I just feel very shattered because I spent the past few months to build this relationship and it is now broken over an honest mistake, and accident that I didnt think what i was doing was being dishonest.
Tags: Acceptance
We met when I was 21 and she was just turning 18, a little over 5 years ago. There was instant attraction and our relationship advanced quickly. I knew deep down that neither of us were mature enough to be in a long term committed relationship, but we stuck together anyways. There were a lot of good times, fun memories, amazing sex and we were always there for eachother through the ups and downs. About two years into the relationship there were multiple infadelities-- she started sleeping with one of my good friends behind my back and I had slept around with more than 1 girl. Despite this huge blow to our trust and relationship, we stuck together after we came clean with each other on what we had done. In hindsight I know that we stuck together because we were attached and had some form of needyness with each other. I feel weak to admit that, but I honestly just felt attached and couldn't let her go despite the fact that we had both hurt each other severely and that we deserved better. I knew in my heart at the time that I should have let her go, but my impulsive needyness forced me to hold on to a relationship that had become toxic. Since then we tried to rebuild the foundation of trust in our relationship, but we were fighting an uphill battle and there was just too much insecurity and distrust towards eachother. A year and a half ago we moved in together, which was a big mistake. Things were ok on the surface, but deep down we both felt disconnected and unhappy with the relationship. Along the way we became very short tempered and irritated with eachother. She would yell and call me names, I would yell back and say hurtful things-- stuff you just don't do when you say that you love someone. I knew in my heart for a long time it was not right and that I needed to let go, but I just didn't have the courage to part company with her. I feel ashamed for having held on to something that I knew was not right for me. We broke up about 5 weeks ago after she did not come home one night. She told me she went out to party with her friends and stayed with a female co-worker, but my intuition told me otherwise. We both agreed that we were not right together and both needed to stand on our own two feet. We were together for 5 and a half years and although I know that it was not the right relationship for me I still feel a deep sense of loss an emotional pain. Despite having hurt eachother I had considered her my best friend-- we did everything together and wanted desperately to make things work. I have been trying so hard for the last 5 weeks to look at the reality of the relationship, but my mind keeps wanting to tell me that we could have made it work or that I should have been a better man. The fact is I was immature and acted with the level of maturity and awareness that I had at the time-- I think it's fair to say that she did too. I keep beating myself up over what I could have done differently and all the what if's, but it has only held me back from letting go and moving on. I am trying so hard to accept that it's over, but still find myself hoping for reconciliation in the future-- hope that is eating me up inside. I know that we both deserve better and that it cannot work. I am not one to share my personal story on an online forum such as this, but I started reading a book the other day that suggested I post about the breakup on this website. It has been helpful typing this story up and putting things into perspective. I think it's important that I look at my past relationship logically rather than feed off of my emotions. Anyways, I know my story probably sounds crazy or like I am a bad guy for having cheated, but I would appreciate any feedback. I am now 26 and have come to so many realizations in reflecting on the relationship. I really want to better myself and become the best man that I can be not only for myself, but so that I can have a healthy, loving relationship in the future. Most importantly I want to love myself so I never put myself in a toxic relationship again where I think that I don't deserve better. Anyways, stay strong to everyone that is going through similar heart break or emotional pain. Everyone keeps telling me it will pass-- I just hope that it does sooner than later!
Tags: he tried it with my cousin
im 18 years old now but just over 3 years ago i had dated a guy i had known m whole life i always loved him but never knew how to tell him so one day i was out with my cousin but he never met her before so he thought she was just a friend when she told him how i felt he asked me out that night and i said yes he kept telling me he loved me and he wanted to be with me forever and i was stupid enough to believe him mainly because i had known him forever anyway we had been together just 2 months and my mum had agreed to let him stay the night with me because i was going to be home alone we were happy and i decided that i trusted him enough so we had sex that night a week later my cousin who he still thought was just a friend came to my house with her boyfriend who was his cousin and she had told me that he tried to go with her behind my back at first i didnt believe her but when she showed me the messages he had sent to her phone i cried my heart was broke how could someone i knew my whole life want to hurt me so much that day i called him and asked him to come up to my mums house when i confronted him he denied it so i showed him the messages and he said she was lying that she had his phone and sent them to herself i was heartbroken how stupid did he think i was?? he went silent and didnt know what to say when i told him that she was my younger cousin i was so upset but i had to laugh when i saw the look on his face maybe now he'll think before he tries it on some other girl hahaha p.s im now engaged to a wonderful guy i met just a month after we broke up so in a way im glad it happened xxxx
Tags: Jill, jack, pale of water
One night my best friend and I were waiting for my parents to pick us up from a party when my phone started buzzing. When I looked down It was a guy in my grade named jack, it was really random since we hardly ever text. And at that moment, when I got that text I knew I liked him and he liked me. We started texting from early in the morning to late at night everyday, and we never ran out of things to talk about. He finally asked me out at school and we were the most adorable couple. At parties it was always just him and I hanging out being all over each other and being little kids together. He was so sweet to me. And then things started getting rocky. Suddenly he wouldn't text me as much and he would make the rudest comments to me. Then he just broke up with me. I mean it's not like I didn't have it coming because I knew we were having problems anyways. But I was still heart broken. He then started flirting with all my friends and getting super close to my best friend, the same girl in the beginning. But one night when I was missing him the most he texted me saying how sorry he was and how he wanted me back so badly. I agreed and immediately went to tell my best friend excitedly. She broke down in tears over the phone saying how sorry she was and what a terrible friend she had been. She then explained how jack and her were talking the whole time we were dating and how she technically got him to break up with me. I was so confused and happy and heart broken at the same time. But I trusted her and forgave them both. Even tho he doesn't know that I know he did that. We dated a few more months and all of a sudden he broke up with me again. She did the exact same thing to me again. Now I can't look at either of them the way I used to. I don't want to forgive, when now I can't forget..
So basically I used to date a guy, let's call him Mark, for almost 2 years. In the meanwhile his best friend and I were getting super close. You see Mark was a very possessive and religious person and would really get on my nerves. Moreover I could not trust him as he would spill all of my secrets and said some pretty personal things to others about me :/
So John (the best friend) was nice to me and comforting and we would occasionally hold hands. My friend Matthew, who is currently my best guy mate, would tell me to break up with Mark..
Eventually John was a bastard and spread a rumour around school that I was cheating on Mark with him and well I dumped Mark.
Fast forward to 7 months later and I started dating John even though he was really horrible and mean. Throughout the relationship he would ignore me, would not tell me where he was headed, and basically really hurt me. Matthew was upset as he told me that John was using me.
Things were pretty intimate with John, but one day, out of the blue, he said and I quote 'I was only with you to use you.. and anyway I'm not ready for a relationship bla bla bla... Its me not you'
This happened in July and it is now February.. he has a girlfriend and seems so loved up with her.. I have a boyfriend who loves me and respects me and cherishes me for who I am.. The day after John dumped me I went out with my best friend but after some intense make out sessions he decided that he doesnt want to be more than friends..
So that's the story of my life
Roxana
Tags: Bestfriends, Friendship, Heartbreak, Love,
Hey everyone,
First of all, I'm going to change his name to...Johnny. Anyways. So Johnny and I had been bestfriends for a while. We were the best of best friends. We memorized eachother's daily routines down to when we got up to when we slept, what class we had on what day, and had a lot of insiders. He went to a school a little far from where I live so we never really saw each other because we met on Facebook but we had Skyped a lot. It wasn't until he said he was in love with me but at the time, i was in another relationship with a guy I had been with for a year and some months. Very sweet guy. But when it came to communication, my boyfriend at the time would never really talk to me. Every time I'd cry or feel sad I always went to Johnny because he was always there. At any hour of the night, i could call him and even though he was asleep he'd wake up just to talk.
So October cam around and I had feelings for Johnny as well but I knew I had to probably break up with my boyfriend at the time because things became very distant. My boyfriend at the time was going to San Francisco for 2 months. He couldn't even keep up communication when we were apart (and him living in my same area) what made you think he'd still talk to me when he left so I broke up with him. 2 Weeks later I started dating Johnny and he made me the most happiest girl in the world. And soon after that, we started doing things in bed (not necessarily sex but things extremely close to it) In fact we tried but we couldn't because it was difficult.
Anyways, so around last week (Feb.20) I noticed I hadn't gotten my period and suffered a lot of symptoms of pregnancy. I told him and he reassured me that I wasn't. Guys take it easier but for a girl, its tormenting, especially if it wasn't planned. So, I told him we needed a test. He agreed to buy me one when I saw him. (I only really saw him on Saturdays due to gas and distance) But my mind was dying to know so, I told my mom what was going on, because I was concerned. She took it okay in the beginning but when I told Johnny, i could tell he was upset but took it cool. My mom bought me the test and it came out negative thank god. But I had a feeling I did it wrong because I still felt bloated and it was already the 8th day of it. Soon, my dad found out and had a talk with Johnny and I just saying that we were lucky and what not. And to try and abstain from it.
My paranoia took the best of me because I still felt really sick so I went to the doctor to go get blood work done and thank goodness, it was negative again. I started the next day and things ended like that. But I told Johnny we'd have to be more careful and that even if its not real intercourse, its still possible. Soon after, I noticed that he became more distant so I kept telling him if something was bothering him, he could tell me. I still loved him a lot. But apparently, he didn't feel the same for me anymore.
He claimed that he never used me and it wasn't because of what happened but according to all the things he said through text (Oh by the way, he dumped me over TEXT) he didn't care much about anything I had to say. And after that, bam. He deleted me off of facebook and all communication ended there.
How can some guys be so mean...especially since he was my bestfriend and boyfriend. I trusted him so much. But I felt more anger/disappointment than sadness. I guess its true what they say..Don't date your bestfriend.
Tags: (trust, love, friends, life)
Second year of high school we became friends. But he wasn't one of my usual friends, we would poke and push each other around playfully. We would compete over little things. Our friendship slowly grew, he didn't let anyone in easily. But even at that young age people always teased us about being together. Four years later he was my best friend and much more, we went out and it started off great. I was suffering from depression at the time and he got me help, he helped me through all of it. I felt safe with him. He didn't really have many close friends except me, i felt like his only one and i loved it. We would fight a lot but we always made it through. Then when high school finished we broke up, we had enough. I still wanted him but maybe only because i felt lonely. We were determined to stay friends. But as soon as he moved out of home and into the city he made his own friends and one night we found ourselves throwing abuse at each other, i missed him and i was angry that he was absent in my life. Anyway as i began to cry on the phone telling him how much i actually missed him, he began to laugh, saying he didn't need me, he didn't care. I can't even recognize him anymore.
Early in our relationship he said he would never break up with me. He said we would always be best friends. He seemed so great but in the end he turned out like every other selfish bastard. I've lost my trust in people, i hope one day i can regain it. More than anything though, i see how much he's enjoying life right now and how i'm not and its difficult to get through.
Tags: trust, heartbreak
i've been with a girl for about 1.5 years. i met her in nyc. i'm originally from the west coast, but i moved to the city 2 years ago. anyway, throughout our entire time together, it felt like a never-ending "honeymoon phase". we were passionately in love with each other, and extremely affectionate. i moved in with her a year ago because i lost my job. she was kind enough to open her home to me. she's been nothing but amazing. her family loves me. she loves me. we had plans for the future, even plans of marriage.
though, at this moment, i am currently in la (for a short vacation) and she's in nyc. she broke up with me on the phone this morning because i'm too insecure. i have trust issues (that i am working on) and she's just tired. she's giving up on this relationship because she's tired of my lack of trust. that, i understand. but i'm confused because it was so sudden.
i think it's serious this time. we had a joint bank account for our apartment savings, and she removed her share of the money. now it's almost half-empty.
but, i'm flying back to nyc tomorrow morning. i thought about not flying back at all to avoid seeing her (just because it will be too hard), but i can't not show up for work. i at least have to put in my two weeks and get the rest of my stuff at her place. i also have unfinished business in nyc that can't be left neglected.
i also need more closure than this. i've been crying constantly all day. i've been going into my car and crying hysterically so no one would hear me. i am going through so much pain because i'm starting to believe that this is really IT. she's been the most amazing girlfriend to me, so supportive, faithful, genuine, and perfect. her imperfections are perfect to me.
i hope this was out of anger. and that she didn't mean it. otherwise, i'm on a one-way flight back to los angeles with a broken heart and a broken dream.
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