Searching for "first"

433 Results For 'first'

Silly Girl

March 04, 2017 @ (Taiwan)

Tags: Sad breakup, silly breakup, silly girl, unimaginable breakup

When I was 13, I meet my ex in high school. I remember in the first class, we look at each other and smile which is the moment i remember until now. Those time, when young soul are pure and kind.. When time passes. We had a crush on each other, we knewit but we never confess it.

5 years later where we both are 19, we got together, he is my first love, while im not his first love. He went into several relationship during that 5 years. We were both in a long distance relationship(LDR) as at the year 19 people start going to college in University. I stayed local to further study, while he were in the State.

When we first separated, we fully committed to maintain this uneasy relationship, because i believe in fate. For those who been in a LDR, will know that how stressful, insecure, it is. It brings a lot of stress to me. At the first 4 months it was okay, and after that he start to playing missing, like for a whole day. Dint reply my text, dint pick up my call and dint even told me that when he is awake and when he is going to sleep. The time different between us is horrible, it was me that stay up till midnight to wait for him to wake up, but ended up receiving nothing. This kind of ignorance and gone missing go on and off continuously till another 6 months.

At the 10th month of LDR, i received an odd message from him. It was some very rude words, saying that I am a bitch. And then I realized that it sent by another girl through his phone. At that moment, my heart felt apart. My heart was broken. I cried and call him to explain everything, he told me that he was actually with the girl when he is in the State. He throw all the responsibilities to me to settle all this mess. Ask me to make the decision. I was mentally and physically being tortured. Everything was in a complete mess. His cheating partner was crying and screaming while we having phone call and I am really not under a sober condition to settle this mess. And I decided to hang up the call since I cannot think comprehensively towards everything. After the night, he keep send me sorry words, saying that he din't mean it, saying that he still love me, and a lot of sentences that mentally hurt me a lot. He spam and spam and spam.. every single day and act like he is the one who got hurt. MAN!! I am the one who silently being hurt all the time, every single time! 6 days after the messy break up, his cheating partner texted me, asking me to give him another chance, and told me that he was sick, asking me to send him some warm messages. I cried every single day, i cried a lot. The pain that both of them gave me is unbearable. It's like a knife stuffed into my heart and slowly twisting.

And finally I decided to text him, because I still love him at that point, he cried and beg me, asking me to give him another chance. Because I still love him, and we are back together. Same thing happened, okay at the first month was so good. And the following months he was playing missing. Finally at the third month he wanted to break up, and he said that he is in love with someone else. And we never contacted ever since.

After the break up, I couldn't sleep well at night. I always had nightmares, felt lonely and sad. When I look into the mirror i asked "What now? Am I not good enough?" "Why does being kind people will still get hurt?". All the question i asked, but non of them gave me an answer. Those sadness and insecurities haunted me quite a long time. It started to effect my health.

And after 4 months, someone with him told me the truth, the person told me that he had a lots of girlfriend before and after he gets back with me, all those classes, working timetable and trips with friends that he told me as an excuses of can't make a video call was actually going out have fun with a lots of chicks! Truth hurt. Truth really hurt like hell. I burst into tears when I knew this. I always thought that both of us need a closure, but the pain he gave me that feelings just wont go away. After the truth, and I finally realized that he doesn't deserve my tears. It is not worth to cry for him. Love yourself first girls!

Xoxo Best wishes

Dammie

March 26, 2017 @ (Ec)

Tags: Bad breakups , sad break ups

Me and my ex , we met 5 years ago we were so in love , was the first time in my life I had boyfriend ( I was 22 y.o ) he treated me like no other ever... I was facing depression and he took me out of it ... after almost 2 years , he texted me saying he was getting enough of me and that he didn't loved me anymore wasn't the first time ,I did begged him before not to leave me anyways he did I was in a terrible depression for over 3 months I didn't almost left my house or my room I cried all the time he then texted me saying he wanted to remain friends I said yes because I still had feelings for him , he sometimes talked about a girl saying was like hypothetical situation . A month later I found out he was dating ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS , i couldn't believe it everything made sense then she never apologized he didn't told me into my face either , cried and yelled to him the pain I was experiencing became unbelievable, after a month he texted me again saying sorry and all and that he was having a really bad time with his family and needed me , at first I sent him to hell but because I'm so stupid I kept contact and tried to help him out 4 months later he was having issues with his current gf ( my ex friend) and turned still to me saying that he understood now who really loved him , to make it short we came back together I forgave him but things weren't that great since I was all the time afraid that he might cheat again he was patient but sometimes he wouldn't pick the phone and it rang as occupied very late at night . He would go freaking mad if i would quise took him about it ,he kept saying I was being crazy that he was sleeping as always I apologized all the time we went on a wonderful trip to Asia and was wonderful , after that I made some decisions of my career that he didn't liked much but accepted , he travelled a lot because of his job , I even fought him looking for prostitutes when he was in Vietnam , to which he said I was being mental because he didn't do anything and I was going through his privacy , i always caught him trying to talk to other woman and was exhausting ,he cried and everything so I decided to believe him always , so I gave up and became that kind of woman that he could yell at and say I was stupid , that kind of woman that couldn't be angry because he didn't replied in 7 hours but he could be mad at me for not doing it in 10 minutes , I was being called stupid ,asshole etc etc every time I tried to ask about something .... one day we fought so badly that we didn't talked for 1day , I felt the end coming and felt pity for myself I loved him so much but I cried every single day and couldn't do anything in any other aspect of my life , I texted him finally being so afraid telling him that he could decide our future since he last words to me were "I want to break up with you so many fucking times but I don't say it" I told him I would do what he decides ,fight one more time or end ... he asked me time to think , 2 days later or silent I asked him ,he said was hard that he loved me but he made me cry and sometimes he didn't even felt bad about it ... anyways he broke up and broke my heart for second time...
Now one month later , i get to know that he is talking to another girl , younger prettier... and even I was doing okay and slowly not crying for him . I went back to the pain of the first time we broke up , that pain in your chest that won't go , the feeling of the tears going down your face without you even noticing, because I still love him and miss him like I did almost 5 years ago

EponaSaysHai

March 22, 2017 @ (Covina, CA)

Tags: Worst break up ever

I fell in love with my best friend. He was a sweet and kind boy that loved to help people. And he loved me back. I knew he did because he treated me like I was special. He said things that no one who saw you as just a friend would say. 4 months of magical romance that everyone saw but we didn't want to admit was there. Finally one day we told each other how we felt and all our friends were so happy for us. I had never been happier in my life. We loved each other. At first it was cute puppy love, I guess you could say, but when my growing depression finally got ahead of me, we found out how much we truly loved each other. He cared for me unlike anyone I've known. The puppy love became a romance and passion that we had building up inside of us for months. We were completely in love with each other even if we both hated ourselves. We were each other's reasons for living. And I can't tell you how many times we were so close to giving up but saved each other. I'll never forget that day I wanted to kill myself and he told me that he loved me and I meant everything to him. That I changed his life for the better. That summer, 3 months after we first confessed to each other, was depressing because we missed each other dearly. School was the only time we got to see each other. Then one day I got my phone taken away. The only way I could contact him was through text. For 2 weeks I sometimes secretly went in my phone to text him. It was brief but those moments were everything to me. Then... 5 days after our 5 month anniversary, I got my phone back. I texted him happily and he replied. But he was depressed. I asked him why and he refused to tell me. I hadn't talked to him in 3 days at the time so anything could've happened. I finally got him to tell me what was wrong and he said.... "I think I'm gay..." I was in shock. And when he said he liked me as a friend, I wanted to throw my phone and just kill myself. I struggled to stay calm for his sake. If I showed how much it hurt, he would regret telling me even more. I told him I needed to be alone. I was in public, totally unprepared for any tragic news. But slowly as reality sunk in, I couldn't hold back against the tears that threatened to pour. I excused myself to the restroom where I cried so hard I couldn't breathe because I tried to stay quiet. I didn't feel anything but pain and sadness. For the next few weeks, he begged me to move on. He was extremely sad and was angry at himself for breaking my heart. He even said he wish had never said anything at all. But I would've found out one day. He wouldn't love me anymore and I would be able to tell. School started and we were friends who pretended we were fine. No one asked about our relationship. Only one person did but we ignored them. It's funny. A lot of people keep asking us if we are dating. No one asked when we actually were. He isn't the same anymore. He isn't positive anymore. He shuts down when he's sad and only talks to his therapist. He used to talk to me. I dont know what we are at the moment. Sometimes I see my boyfriend again in the way he looks at me. Sometimes I see my best friend. But sometimes I see my ex boyfriend, the broken shell of the person I once knew and loved. I still love him to this day.

If you ever hear about a break up where the boyfriend finds out he's gay and the girlfriend is sad, don't laugh. It sounds humorous, but when it becomes your reality and the thing that tears you apart everyday, you won't be laughing. In these cases, there's little to no chance of getting back together. And it hurts like hell.

Dont Wanna Say..

March 11, 2017 @ (USA)

Tags: bad break up need advice help me

my ex and i dated for about two months and we recently broke up Monday of this week (2/6/17). I experienced true love for the first time in my life. I thought of him as the most amazing person i had ever laid eyes on. Since the beginning of the relationship, we grew up a lot. We started dating when we were 15 years old. and we are now 17. I did so much for him, i paid for the majority of dates, gave him money because he would need it and i constantly prioritized him, putting him before everything. I let him come between my family and friends. He was my first, i lost my virginity to him a year ago on valentines day. he did many things that were bad in the beginning of the relationship but i managed to hang on to the relationship because he begged and pleaded for me to stay. Now i am broken. I have a 4.7 GPA , i can get into any college i want to in North Carolina, i have an amazing job making great money and a great family and an awesome bestfriend. But i can't be happy without him. I feel like i absolutely need him in my life to feel okay. I really have put my happiness on the backburner for him. For months he has been canceling plans for friends and he would sleep through our plans bc he was out super late the night before, i felt like i wasnt important and he would be really mean when i tried to talk to him about it, calling me needy and saying "why can't u just be understanding and say okay sometimes" he would yell at the top of his lungs and blame the fact that he had no nicotine and thats why he was being that way to me. He doesn't go to school anymore (so a drop out) spends every dime on his truck making me have to pay for his food and gas and dates. he never treated me right yet he broke up with me monday and blocked me on everything. i begged and pleaded for him to stay for 2 days then i went no contact on him and havent spoken since wednesday to him. i know for a fact that he loves me. i just want him back. i think i have learned a lot about myself and i have been through more pain than i can begin to describe. Will he come back to me? our connection when we were together was so strong. this boy literally has our date tattooed on his wrist and he had given me a promise ring promising me forever. help me someone please just give me advice. i need to know if you think he will come back or not. how can you spend 2 years with someone to drop them this way?

Rose

March 08, 2017 @ (INDIA)

Tags: Bad breakup

We met in college and became close due to a prank played by friends. We then became best friends in a few months. I was the first girl with whom he became really close. There were many similarities and coincidences which made us think that this was meant to be. Gradually we fell in love and confessed it. I am his first and only love till this date. We were really happy and spent our 12 days of love together dating. But then suddenly he said that he want to get out of this. There wasn't even a single valid reason he could give. I lost my best friend as well as my love without any reason. And now i am left alone sad and broken with nothing left to do. He is happy and moved on. My condition is pathetic as it already took 8 months to get over a 12 days relationship. It is strange that i still haven't moved on. It really hurts to get dumped even after doing the best you can. Losing a best friend is even more painful...

Brandon

March 05, 2017 @ (California)

Tags: Breakup

Well 2 years ago well this will sound pathetic but whatever anyways 2 years ago I met this girl on call of duty now I know what you're thinking but still read on. We met each other in a zombies game and immediately hit it off so a year or so passes then I admit O actually liked her and she liked me but at first I didnt think it would last long but still the more we texted Skype in video chats and long conversations we went to the point of loving each other however, I joined the army and couldn't talk to her as much we both were about 17 and since I was in the military I asked of we could wait until I finally got home. Then once home she started to ignore me more and more ignoring my messages and when I asked her out she said "I dont want a relationship right now im sorry" it was heartbreaking but being the patient man O am I said ok but then weeks later I found out she fell in absolute love with my best friend who was a complete jerk to her ive seen how they texted each other and he says mean things and even though our long distance guess where my friend lives. Canada and she's living i. Arkansas I was absolutely furious then but then way before this occured I said I would pay an expensive plane ticket to see you graduate as soon as my honerable discharge comes through but she said it wouldn't work and now I know why keep in mind I said I would do this and sooo much more for her but she leaves now almost two years of a man who treats her beyond fairly like a queen yet she throws me to the side for a jerk who she knew at the time of their first dating week only two weeks TWO weeks let alone my 2 years what should I do we rarely text but if they break up she'll have nobody do I cut her off or be friends with her?

Kristi

January 31, 2017 @ (NY)

Tags: shitty breakup

This was my first time dating a guy. I'm a softmore in high school and he is a senior. Throughout highschool I talked to many different guys but I was always ending up being used. TBH it's hard to come around a respectful guy and I bet you all are aweare of that... anyway, out of the blue I started dating this guy and I had never felt happier in a relationship with someone. Even though I am still very young, through him i found out how I should really be treated and respected. He was my bestfirend and i felt so open and free with him , I never knew someone like him existed. Saying that sounds cliche but he was definitely a big part of my life. We dated for 6 months, which very much impressed me because i usually get over a guy fast! 2 days befor Halloween, I felt very strange about our relationship. He always had work and I got fed up with not being able to be with him all the time.. I didn't know how to handle my anger, so I asked for a break. I knew I was loosing feelings, not all to do with him, but more so the timing was awful. he was also leaving to collage soon. I just felt a little heartbroken. I knew he cared about me very much, when I told him I wanted a break he cried and that was so strange to see because i never had a guy cry over me. We loved eachother one day but the next i just couldn't be in the relationship any longer. He resipricated by telling me he doesn't want a full commitment beucase he's a senior and maybe we can get back together later if the timing is right. It sucked to hear but I knew he was right. He wanted to belive we could be friends, but at that time I felt as if the rest of his party life as a senior was the most important thing to him. We broke up on Halloween night, the day after we said all of this too eachother. He knew I wanted to break up with him BUT HE WOULDNT LET ME. I think it was somthing to do with his pervious relationship when his X broke up w him due to the same reason. So yep Halloween night he texted me a shitty breakup text saying he wants his independence . that made me so much more attached knowing i couldn't have him. We talked a little as friends after but we both agreed if we would ever want to get back together we can't be friends. I haven't talked to him for 2 months now and I don't know how i have made it this far , all I know is I deserve better , but I miss my best friend. Knowing our past and how alike we are , I somtimes do belive we will get back together but i never want to hurt myself again. What is your opinion on this type of breakup and any advice ???

Anon

December 14, 2016 @ (Somewhere)

Tags: Bad breakup

My boyfriend of 9 months broke up with me when he finally admitted that he in fact, did not have time for me or time for a relationship. He was the type of guy that put work and his hobbies/interests first. At first I thought it was no big deal, because I saw him on a weekly basis. However, a few month in, he converted back into his usual (very busy) routines that consisted of study, rehearsal, gym, sports training, dancing, family commitment, and work. And when I tried to confront him, telling him that I think he doesn't have enough time for our relationship. However, he denied it and made up excuses like "I was disorganised" or "its because I just came back from holiday" and "it will never happen again, and if it does we can talk about it then".
And it did happen again. Quite a few times actually. Towards the end, he felt that I was pressuring him into seeing me more often, and that he feels like he needs to skip other commitments to see me, and that because of the stress, he wasn't sure if he loved me anymore, and wanted to break up.
I am deeply saddened by this because I feel betrayed and lied to. He made me feel incredibly special... to this day I still have a hard time believing that he is not around anymore.

Lindsey

December 08, 2016 @ (Virginia )

Tags: Bad breakup heartache ðŸ’”ðŸ’”ðŸ’”ðŸ’”

We were together for 3 years and it just went down in flames. Since we are southern down here we went catfishing all summer. The first time I got to see him this summer was when we went fishing and he act like he never loved me. All he done was ignore me all night then finally I walk up to him and I ask what his problem is and he tells me I'm too young for him. We were 4 years apart. I watched him flirt with other girls every night literally. He just laughed at me and so one night I punched him in the jaw and it felt really good. Then I thought I was done seeing him for good but he showed up at the lake and he just stared all night. I cried so much this summer. The sad thing is, is that he was the one person I depended on to make me laugh but this summer he was the one who made me cry my eyes out. He is the reason I do not believe in love. I still see him often in fact today he came to my house and it got awkward. I miss him but he is such a coward and a jerk. He taught me some lessons I will never forget and taught me to not let my expectations cause my heartaches because that is exactly what happened here. I depended on someone who I thought could make it better but he was just like he others. ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ðŸ˜

The Unstable Entrepenour

November 21, 2016 @ (United States)

Tags: Bad Breakup

I remember that it hurt. Hearing the words hurt - and at the same time, it felt like something out of a movie, like it wasn't happening. After all, how could it? It had been merely a week since our second anniversary, and as an anniversary gift she had given me a card that said, "I promise to be with you for all the years to come."
I couldn't even begin to process it. "How do you feel," she asks me, trying to decipher my off smile and my wondering eyes. I only smile because I don't know what to say, what to feel. I don't fight it, I merely say all-right, shed a couple tears, and drop her off at her house. It took me a couple days for my emotions to catch up with me - and oh boy, did they come in force. Like a thousand crashing waves, every single negative emotion in the book comes, all at once, all clamoring for my attention in a sea of deprecating voices: "you weren't enough," "she got tired of you," "you aren't good enough for anyone" ; and as I struggle to get them in check, I was still left wondering: why exactly did it happen?
I never got a straight answer to that question; at least, none that I understood. She mentioned that she wanted to try being with a girl (she's bi, but not in practice yet), that I had been insensitive about one fight that we had more than a year ago, that I was too unstable in my life for her to think about settling down with me. "If my ex had asked me to move in with him, I would've done it in an instant" she said. Surprisingly enough, her life wasn't in any way better than mine: a education major working as a cashier at one of the lowest paying grocery shops in the area, with no car telling me, a computer engineering major with a car, and a delivery job earning 2.5x more per hour as her.
While I could see how she was right, since I had been thinking about dropping out of school, and I had changed my major more than three times in the last six months, I just didn't understand why that was an issue now, all of a sudden. The only answer I can come up with is that perhaps the spark, that magical, elusive feeling that binds people together just died over time for her, while mine grew stronger and stronger. While she was thinking about how to break the news to me, I was thinking what would be the best date to travel to Disneyland with her, since she had told me not too long before, that she'd like me to propose to her at the Cinderella Castle.
I write this now, two months later, even thought it feels like a lifetime ago. My speculating and unstableness paid off after all; because I was willing to take risks, I dropped out of school, and started working in Real Estate. In the first month, I rose from Intern to District Manager at a local firm, and when some shady situations came to light regarding the owners, I left the firm, and opened my own. I'm earning four times what I was before, and it'll only grow from here. Even so, I still look back and wonder what could've been. When she ended things, it felt like someone had taken a hammer to the glass sculpture that was my future with her; and even though I'm not crying over it anymore, I have yet to pick up the pieces, and start again.