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Sadlonelyconfused

May 07, 2013 @ (San Francisco)

Tags: Crush, first, kiss, bad, relationship, teenagers, dumb, love

I have had a crush on this girl sinse the first grade, it started off as us hating each other but it was one of those cute kid cover up things. In middle school there were other girls I hooked up with, other girl friends, so I forgot about this girl for a long time. After dealing with a fair amount of drama with other girls, I started to have feeling for this girl again, this is by the time puberty has hit us both and she became more than just the girl I liked, she became beautiful, so other guys started hitting on her too. Around this time me and he started getting flirty, this lasted for a while until I asked her out, but she said no because she felt like we were too close as friends and she didn't want to loose me. So I was heart broken or whatever but I bounced back and everything was fine between us. We texted all summer and saw each other a few times, it almost felt like we were together, but we weren't. I got over her and started focusing on my studies so for a while all I did was study and party, everything was going fine, I was happy. Then my best female friend told me that she and my old crush were talking and that she found out that she kind of liked me but was going to wait for me to ask her out. So I waited, partied more, and eventually got around to asking her out, again, and she said yes. That marked the start of our month line awkward excuse of a relationship. I was her first boyfriend, and her first kiss, which she was extremely nervous for, so once we kissed I thought everything would turn around and that she would loose her shyness, the thing ruining our relationship. I didn't work, she and her friend started fighting and their fight was affecting out relationship. Spring break rolled around and I had only kissed her one day, on several occasions though, infact we made out. I was planning to hang out with her during spring break but she was out of town the whole time. The last weekend of spring break I was so exited to see her the following Monday. When I go to school I found out that her fight with her friend had gotten worse, they would even look a each other. That day I decided that I Was going to talk to her and either figure out why everything was going the way it was going or break up with her. Before I could do it I checked with my female friend and she had told me that my girlfriend had told her that she wasnt ready for a telationship and that she wanted it to end but she was to nervousness and shy to do it herself, so knowing that I ended it. I felt awful, I picked up smoking again that night and sat on my roof singing sad songs, what a movie cliche. Later people started saying that she just used me to get a first kiss and I was devastated because I thought she liked me. In a spiral of sadness I started smoking too much weed to feel happy again, which was fun while it lasted but now I'm broke. So I've been a sad, bitter, broke, lonely wreck. She seems like she moved on immediately, she's happy, and never regarded it, but I still feel empty inside because I don't know how to be happy again like I was before we got together. She said maybe she would be open to trying a relationship with me again next year but I can't hold on that long, even though I'm afraid I will and this silent sufference will last until then. Sigh... Where some weed when I need it.

MM

May 02, 2013 @ (POOP)

Tags: d12

That was a year ago.

I was driving, she was with me in the car. I didn't realize there was a dog crossing the street at that moment and I crash him at 100kmh. I stopped the car right away and we both went out. The dog was 10m behind so we went to check his condition (all in blood, could see part of his stomach out), she wanted me to bring him to vet but very obviously there was nothing to do, so i didn't... She left me for being "cold-hearted".

Gaia

May 02, 2013 @ (Berkeley Ca)

Tags: friendship

I met him in college. We had been through a lot with our exes but found someway to be there for each other. Our friendship started off innocent, we had no intention of being together, although i suspected we were both attracted to one another. But we were the best of friends, we spent every day together, talking, exploring, studying, struggling to eat on a broke college student's budget. He was my best friend and I could tell him any and everything. However things changed, one day when I was getting ready to head home for my sister's graduation he and I went to hang out and unexpectedly admitted our feelings for each other. I was so happy that day, i felt like flying. He told me he could imagine us being together in the future. So I went back to my hometown that night not knowing what was to happen between us but I was pleased and he was too. We gave each other butterflies and everything felt so new and fresh between us. I was in love with my best friend.
We never decided to be together, it would be too complicated for us to place a title on our feelings, he and I had just gotten out of our own relationships and thought it would be easier to hold off being together "officially" and just enjoy one another.
We experimented sexually and had a spiritual connection like no other. We had each other's back and spent every day together
But as time progressed, it became difficult for me to be stuck in uncertainty about where our relationship was headed. I began to feel insecure and jealous sometimes, in which I acknowledged and tried to solve by seeing the love in everything and everyone around us. I did not tell him about my jealousies and insecurities, because I knew those feelings were reflection of myself and my fears. However, he began to change... began pushing me away and becoming insensitive to how some of the things he did and said made me feel uncomfortable. I became sad all of the time and would cry and feel hurt.
Then one day we had a talk, I told him how I was feeling and he told me he had feelings for someone else. He was being 100% honest with me (which is a habit of ours) and also said that he did not want to go farther than just having a crush on another girl because he loved me.
Nevertheless, as the semester began to sweep me away to travelling around for work and school and family, he began to hang around the other girl more frequently in my absence. Then he told me that he told her about his feelings for him and she returned those feelings.
So I had enough. I broke things off with him, i told him that we should just be friends... I cant take feeling like this anymore. Regardless of how much we love each other. Its been an emotional roller coaster and I can't deal with it. I wish him joy and happiness and love and I hope he can figure out what he wants. Although thinking about this still makes my heart constrict and tears flood my eyes, i am moving forward. <3

Was It Love

April 30, 2013 @ (Australia)

Tags: Love1

We met 3 years ago straight after my marriage breakup thinking it was just a bit of fun one night stand it turned out it lasted 3 years . He never really committed to me the whole time but I somehow felt I was in a relationship he gave me back my self esteem initially after my marriage breakup and i was so happy when i was with him but over the years I began to feel used and abused for sex and text based relationship . But he knew how to get me back everytime I felt strong enough to walk away he came back said and did everything right rope me in only to cut me loose again so he could go and have his fun then blame me for something I had said or did. He told me I was the best girl best company gorgeous sexy etc etc i was in love with him although he was 10 years younger than me I felt there was always a chance we could be together because he said he would never find anyone like me . And now here I am again I let him back into my life only for him to cut me off again but his time I am determined to let go and move on I have to because I want to feel real love be loved and appreciated I deserve it

Yana

April 17, 2013 @ (California)

Tags: long distance

We met through a mutual friend who was very close to both of us. Before meeting, the mutual friend actually told my ex that we were "perfect for each other".
The first few times we hung out, always in a group of friends, I thought he was cocky and full of it, but I was intensely attracted to him. One night at a party, I noticed he was kind of following me around. Every where I was in the house, he was too. He was adorable and shy, and I was forced to re-examine my first impression of him. We ended up talking for hours alone that night and we somehow intuitively knew so much about each other despite having been acquainted for such a short time. It was one of those magical moments in life when two human beings who are basically strangers really "see" each other, and love what they see.
We fell in love very quickly and intensely over the next few weeks. Time was always running away from us; he was supposed to leave the state in just a few months.
A year of long distance bullshit later, he stopped responding to me. Said he needed to have some time to himself, to figure things out. A week later he broke up with me. The reasons were never really clear but I think mostly he needed his independence to carve out his own place in the world, and he didn't feel he could do that with the pressures of our relationship. He said we were like two kids caught up in a fairy tale, and he had been hit with reality. Our fairy tale was the most important thing to me. We shared dreams of building a treehouse and living there in the wilderness with our kids and dogs and little vegetable patch. We called each other soulmates and "love of my life". I believed in it with everything I had. For me, this was my partner in life.
I was in a state of physical and emotional shock for some time after the break up. We vowed to remain close, to remain best of friends, because we both believed that love never really dies - even when two people part ways. Six months later he told me again I was his soulmate. Three days later he started to ignore me, which he has continued to do since (4 months and counting). This has truly been the most painful part of the whole experience. I believed so completely that this person, regardless of the current status of our relations, would always support and love and acknowledge me . By ignoring me, he has made me feel invisible, worthless, and crazy. Sometimes I think I made everything up in my head or that it was some crazy dream. More than I grieve for a lost lover, I grieve for the loss of a genuine connection with a person, the kind which is very rare in our world.

Messaih

March 31, 2013 @ (USA)

Tags: 3

[Too Funny to Completely Delete]

My name is messiah i am a bank in texas in USA i want to testify about this great man that help me to get my love back after i have being scam by a lot of spell caster i was in love with a boy we were living happily for more than six years i day he now came form work he now propose to me so i was happy he now told me that we are going to get marry so one day he now told me that we should go and see our parent so the next four day i was surprise that my love call me and told me that i should not call him again and that he now hate me i should live him alone i now tough that he was joking so i now ask him that weather he was joking he say no that he is serious that i should live him a lone i was now cry to him that if i have done something wrong he should forgive me he i have not done anything that he don't love me that he had see is love so i now go to is house he told me that this girl that she is going to be is wife so i should live than a lone i was crying so i now contacted some spell caster who now scam me i now make up my mind that i should let be so one day i was listing to the radio when i had a man giving is testimony about this man so the next there weeks i was watching the television when i saw that a man give is testimony how this man help him to get is love back so i now contacted the great man that help me so when i now contact him he now told me that everything is going to be fine as he say the next day i now saw my fiance come to my house and told me i should forgive him that he is sorry for every thing so i now forgive him and now we are happy now we now got marry now so i want to thank this great spell caster dr ogogodu for what he did for me so people if you need is help contact him on this email XXXXX or if you want to call him this number XXXXXX
thanks
ogogodu
name:messaih
country :USA

Nameomitted

March 19, 2013 @ (United States)

Tags: break up, long distance

We were never really official but this feels like a break up to me. We met in November. He was a military guy, no car, was leaving in a couple months. So at first we kept it casual. When he left on holiday leave we were both expecting him to return--he never did. Even though it was just a fling, it felt so unfinished. We'd text almost every day. At one point he said he missed me, and so I brought up the possibility of an LDR. We talked about the cost and how often we'd get to see one another, but in the end he said he hated LDRs, which I interpreted as a no. Yet we kept in touch, and I wanted to see him so badly. I wanted it more than I have wanted anything, I was so sprung on this guy. So I flew out to visit him last week. But I felt like he kept holding back, which in turn made me nervous. I froze up, and the entire week was a mix of silence and awkwardness. There were moments where we'd liven up, and we were only able to soften up physically--not just sex, but touches, caresses, neck rubs. The physical connection wasn't as crazy raw as I remembered it being, but we were still good together. It was still hot. However, I think my quietness got to him, and by the end of the week we were both exhausted. I could tell that he had run out of patience, and I had tired myself out by silently worrying and wondering and panicking. By the time I left we just waved goodbye. No hug, no kiss, not even a handshake.

On one hand, while I was out there I was noticing things about him that I didn't see before, and I would think to myself, "Hmm... no, I don't think we'd work as a couple." I know that we wouldn't. We have the same interests, and we're physically compatible. We're both thoughtful and affectionate. But intellectually, we don't really connect. Maybe I'm a little too independent for him? I don't know. We have different values. I actually found him to be kind of boring most of the time. He probably thought the same of me. I don't think we're actually boring people, but we tend mute each other out for some reason. But even with all that, it was one of the hardest break-ups I've had. Maybe because I was so invested in the dream of him, in the possibility, in the romantic star-crossed-lovers feel of the whole situation. That and my ego is kind of bruised. I was in love with his body, that's for sure.

I wanted it to be him, you know? I wanted him to tell me he wanted to work something out. I wanted to move clear across the country for him. I loved it out there and would love the adventure of it all, but I'm not going to lie that having him out there with me was the top reason I wanted to move. I wouldn't be alone. I have family and friends out there, so it wouldn't have been JUST for him. I guess I could still move if I wanted to, even if we never spoke again...

I hate that I get moody and distant when emotion overwhelms me. I shut off, and in those times it's nearly impossible for me to communicate how I'm feeling. When I panicked, I would push him away. That's one of the things I regret the most. I wasn't at my best, as hard as I tried. I feel... not good enough. Disheartened. The day he dropped me at the airport I still had a 2 hour wait, on top of a 6 hour flight. And I was fighting back tears the whole time. And I still have my spells of utter sadness.

In my heart, I know it's for the best. I know that I'll get over it, like I always do. I know that in time I'll look back and be able to see that it was a fun experience, and I'll be able to see how much I learned from it all. But right now, in the thick of it, it's a struggle to get through the day. I just want to go home and curl up and cry. But I have to work, and go to class, and be mature. And I don't want to annoy my friends and family by ranting and venting all the time, so I came here... It kind of helps, sharing this with strangers. So thanks.

Ii_Duu

March 13, 2013 @ (HeartBreakHotel)

Tags: break up avenue

We dated for a little over a year. He was literally my everything. I didn't have any friends due t0 terrible experiences in the past s0 my only sociable activity was hanging with him and, on occassion, his friends. I don't even know what to tell you bout the break up. We'd have a fight over something stupid and, as usual, he lost his temper and walked away. This was something I had begged him n0t to do because it really hurt and humiliated me having to run after him even though he rejected me all the time. I made every effort to keep the relationship working. Even when he walked away, I had t0 drive after him c0s I was worried (he lives 26kms away fr0m me and wanted t0 walk home at night). While I was chasing him, he told me to leave him alone, and that he doesn't know me. I was crushed. But I couldn't keep chasing him. I had a class I was already late for (because him) and I had t0 leave. S0 I left him. Then he messaged me the next day saying I d0nt care about him and I'm proving to him how I don't love him. Then he deleted me. I called him and tried to explain but he hung up on me after saying that he doesn't care; I must do whatever I want. That hurt. I always asked him to make an effort to fix things even though he's mad but he didn't. He let his pride be more important than me. Its been difficult to let g0 but I'm doing it. I asked all my relatives to delete him and I blocked all his profiles and deleted all his numbers. He's taken me for granted for too long. And even though sometimes I just break down c0s I can't help it, I know that as long as I'm breathing, I will be okay. And he will soon realise that he lost the person who would've sold her heart for him.

Bethany

March 08, 2013 @ (gloucrster )

Tags: chris, james

I'm 26 years old and I have been with my daughter's father for 3 years. We broke up 6 months ago and it has been so hard on me. We started our relationship rocky from the beginning. Once we found out I was pregnant he started to care more for me but he started to go out every weekend saying he needed to get it out of his system. At that time he lived at his parents n I lived with mine. One day he wanted to talk to me about a fb message he got from this kid I used to like. This was before he n I got serious. The kid said I was with him and that we messed around. I WAS SCARED he would leave me so I sais no. That kid and I only kissed but I was not with anyone at the time. While I pregnant he continued to still go out until I was7 months I drove to his house every night until,I was ready to pop. We had the baby and everything seemed great we stayed at his mom's house until we had enough money and that was a lie. He started to ignore me and we fought all the time we both started talking to other people but not hooking up HE said I was cheating and I suspected as well. We would fight every night and finally I walked out. I left him ans I feel so alone and depressed he blames me for lying and everything and I'm starting to think it was all my fault. I have been so depressed to be living back at home and he hates me. He doesn't see that all I wanted was for him to care.

Breakfastclub

February 27, 2013 @ (Kansas)

Tags: exbf, manipulator, liar, selfish

My ex boyfriend and I broke up about 2 and a half years ago, but all this time we never stopped talking. We remained in a sexual relationship all this time. During this time he treated me poorly, then we would fight and then he would treat me better... until the next fight. He always knew what to say and how to act to calm me down and convince that he cared for me. During this time he talked to 3 other girls, and in all the occasions I told him I didn't want to talk to him anymore, but he would insist in staying in my life. We had a bad fight in all three occasions and then once things started not working out with the girl he would apologize saying he recognized he didn't treat me well. I have asked him several times to stay away, to let me go, and he would for a couple of weeks but then he would come back and I was enough of an idiot to let him back in. Well in December I told him we should stop seeing each other, then he said "ok" but soon started messaging me saying he wanted to see me once I got home from Christmas break. Then we hung out a couple of times in January, but then he started being really rude to me so I told him to not talk to me anymore. We hadn't talked to me in a while and then I (was being stupid again) texted him saying I was ok with us not talking but I wanted to understand why. Then he replied "get over me, i'm talking to a girl in high school" (detail: we are both 22 and college students). I laughed because that's just pathetic. Well the next week I saw him at a dance at our college, and I was a little tipsy and in a bad mood and angry at him so I walked by him and pumped into him. He texted me all angry, but then the next morning he was being all sweet saying I look beautiful at the dance and that he wanted to see me. So I said "what about your high schooler?" then he replied "Oh I lied, I just said that to piss you off". I knew he was lying about that, I know he actually talked to her and I knew she had probably dumped him already. Well,I didn't let him come over to my apartment. I didn't want to see him at all. Then I realized on his twitter that he was talking to her again so I asked him "why did you lie about not talking to her?" then he answered "i don't have to explain anything to you" (wow, dick). Well after that we talked a couple more times and then I noticed there was nothing wrong because of some things he posted on twitter. Then we were talking and he said someone screwed things up. Well it was obviously her. Then a few days later I drove by his house (which is right across from my apartment) and I saw a car there, so I asked if it was hers and he said yes. Well I got pissed out and said terrible things to him. We argued bad, I told him he was nothing to me, and I regretted having let him in back in my life so many times, he got really mad when I said that and then he told me he didn't want to talk to me anymore. Then the next day we argued again and this time he told me "shut up, don't talk to me, don't talk about me, and don't talk about her". I know I screwed up in a few aspects, but in no way I'm blaming myself for what did. He lied to me several times, and he manipulated me to get just what he wanted. He is the most selfish and egocentric person I have ever met. All he thinks is about himself. Now that he is happy with her there is no way in hell that he will apologize for the mean things he said to me. What I heard is that she is a little high school slut, so I guess she is a good fit for him. I know I deserved some of it, but he was never considering towards my feelings. We were still kinda up in the air, and he knew I had feelings for him, and he didn't understand when I tried to explain why I was mad/upset. He pretty much said "this is your problem, not mine, deal with it". This last couple of weeks have been tough, but I will not let him bring me down. I am starting to see that I didn't lose anything, I actually won, because I got rid of an abusive, manipulative boy and now I am free to find a man, who can care for me and be what my ex could never be.