Tags: funny breakup, recent breakup, bad breakup
A couple of weeks ago I went in to write my Psychology midterm in one of the school's larger lecture halls. Everything started off fine: papers were handed out, I had all of my identification, I had actually put a couple of hours of studying into this test and I even brought my own pencil; what a glorious day. Sitting in the front row of this lecture hall I hear snickering starting from the back and then gradually making its way down towards me. Near the front of the class, I'm one of the last people to get the attendance sheet that everyone has to sign to prove they were actually there to write the test. At the top of the list I see my girlfriend's name and signature and, beside it, my name, with a simple message: "I can't do this anymore. It's over. Sorry." The best part? SHE DOESN'T EVEN GO TO THIS SCHOOL.
We started arguing via IM because I was being different; she said she must be first in my list of priorities being my friends beside her. So, I decided to stop talking to her and not logging in to Messenger. After one week of not talking to each other she called to my house saying that it's over. I just wanted she to dump me; she wanted to commit suicide one year ago so this was the best way of getting rid of her.
Tags: crack, hemorrhoids
One night, my 21 year old ex-girlfriend let me hang out and drink with the boys so she could go hang out with her "girls". After not hearing from her for 3 days, she called asking me to pick her up from a strange apartment 15 miles away from our place. It turns out, she went on a wild crack-cocaine binge and then took a bunch of xanax to help herself sleep and was out of touch for days. Being overwhelmed with the discovery of her newly discovered addiction and possible infidelity, I punched and kicked our bedroom door until it was broken into splinters. Unphased by the violent outburst, she pulled down her pants in the bathroom, bent over weeping and asked if I thought she had hemorrhoids.
I assume she got them from being constipated from all the drugs; Her mom picked her up later that afternoon.
My ex lived in Oregon. I live in California. So I was exstatic for his four-day visit. And all seemed to be going well... until he started having problems in the sack and we started fighting.
He broke up with me the last day of his visit, citing distance as the factor. I found out later in a forwarded email that he thought I was too ugly for him.
Things had been going rough for a while and I could tell we weren't going to last long. I guess she felt the best way to break up with me would be to send her best friend to my house. Lucky me, getting to answer the door with a video camera in my face and her friend saying, "She wants to break up with you." But I guess I got the last laugh. Now, two years and ten different sex buddies later, she's known as that girl with the huge vagina.
I went to paris with my girlfriend of one year
To stay for four weeks in the city of love
But after three weeks it became very clear
The love that we had was not the kind they were speaking of
We fought all the time on the stupidest of things
Each second was one that I wanted to escape
Her control of me made me want to scream
And the love of her became something I couldn't take
So after one fight about cutting my hair
It came out that I couldn't take anymore
And after tears and pain I could hardly bear
Our tumultuous love turned into war
The last week was filled with fights and tears
I spent 1500 dollars on hotel rooms
And at the peak of the fights when the end of the trip appeared
We had to spend 8 hours on the plane sitting next to each other
Worst day of my entire life
Tags: hypocrite, bad reason
We were high school sweethearts but ended up going to different colleges in different states. She chose the college she went to because she wanted to become a doctor. We didn't get to see each other a whole lot but it was enough to keep going. She gave up becoming a doctor after a semester and i supported her. She then said she wanted to study abroad for a year and I didn't want her to go because we'd be apart for a year and it was hard enough being apart for how long we were. I got an offer for an internship and it was pitched to me that i'd make a lot of money. It turned out that wasn't the case. I decided to quit and go home to my old job so I wouldn't break even that summer. When I got back she broke up with me because she said I was immature for quitting the intership even though I explained how it cost me $2000 and i only made $80.
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