Searching for "nothing"

191 Results For 'nothing'

Bon

November 05, 2012 @ (United States)

I was in a 2 year...almost 3 year relationship with a guy i met and fell in love with. I was 17 at the time so i was young and astonished by how this guy filled up every stupid immature void in my heart. Im 20 now...almost 21 and his friends took him in again and im left to rot. I was always alone while he went to the bar or smoked with his friends. I had friends but didnt know how to go and hang out since i was so used to my boyfriend and putting him first was a must. Today, i had enough. i was with my friends having a great time while he was with his friends. I realized today that my happiness is precious and nothing in this world should interfere with that...so i broke up with him...i mean theres more to it than just an urge to breath and be alone. I know im gonna miss him and i know itll hit me eventually but ill be okay...I have my friends and family. His past got in the way anyways. Im in college, almost done, im ready to take the next step with my life. Its okay right? ill be okay.

AL

October 21, 2012 @ (canada)

Tags: first heart break

my gf recently broke up with me and heres the story;
we were together for almost 2yrs and i thought she was the one. my family loves her and she gets along with my friends and vice-versa. she was my longest girlfriend and i let all of my guards down. we recently went on a trip too and i can remember a month before the trip she told me she doesnt feel the same way. but, me, blinded by love i ignored the warning and thought everything was ok and she was just having mood swings. as days, weeks went by she was back to normal. the day of the our 1 week trip comes, we were really happy and in love(atleast i was). so we get back from the trip(it was a great trip) and i thought everything was going fine. its september so we planned to spend the holidays together because my whole family is leaving the country for a month to spend the holidays over-seas. a few weeks after the trip its was september 28 to be exact, i was having a shitty day at work and looking forward to seeing and talking to her. that night, she just wanted to end our relationship, my heart sank while i asked her why and her reasons were: she's still young, she wants to figure herself out, she wants to experience life and she needs her own space. i talked her out of breaking up with me but i would give her a month break to have her space and to do her own thing. i tried to let her do her own thing but i failed, i still called, texted and saw her. that went on for a couple of weeks. she would still say i love you to me but whenever i was with her it didnt feel right anymore i mean i love her but i could just tell that she's fallen out of love with me. i was too stupid to be honest to myself and face that there was no point of me still trying, giving my absolute best to make things work out and make her fall in love again. but she would say the littlest things that would give me the biggest hope. so there i was again, lying to myself, prolonging my own agony, torturing myself. until a fews ago, i faced my fear. we were in her place we watched a movie after the movie we had a serious talk about our relationship. she was still trying to fall back in love with me but she also knew that there was really nothing there. so i told her if theres nothing there anymore dont bother. she wants to stay friends but that would be impossible for me. she loves me but not inlove with me. so i walked out of her house crying my eyes out my face was hurting alot for holding the tears for so long, carrying the bag of chips and dip i bought for the movie(she didnt want them). that night was the night i felt so bad for myself. only a few people know that we're broken up even our FB relationship status says we are still in the relationship. everyone thinks we were perfect for each other. i still need to have my question answered "why/how did she fall out of love?". it gets tougher everyday because i still have that little hope. im trying to be strong and busy to get over my first heart break. its so hard for me to tell people what im really feeling inside. my friends see me as a strong man yet i feel like a little kid inside hoping to be loved. im doing the best i can not to contact her. im trying to get back on my feet and just let things be. i dont know if she'll miss me and come back but i best not expect anything.

for other guys out there: growing up we were always taught to be tough, strong and not to show any kind of weakness. while, girls are taught the opposite they show emotions, how they feel and all girls out there expects to have their heart broken by a guy one day. us guys would never expect that. so when we guys get our hearts broken it would be unexpectedly fcked up for us.

atleast thats how i see why im having a difficult time coping with this.

well i got some out of my chest! thanks for reading

Jordyn

October 19, 2012 @ (California )

Tags: Breakup long term relationship

I was in a relationship since September of 2009 and it just ended recently, not to long ago, in May 2012.
I was confused, lost, in denial, anger. And I still am, it's been really hard.
I really thought he was the one, well I still do.
Me and him did everything together, I saw him everyday until late night and he would spend the night on the weekends quite often.
We went out a lot to the movies, the beach, Disneyland, and new places every weekend. He took me out to dinner almost every weekend, he did anything to make me happy.
We always spoke about the future, college, getting married, having kids, growing old together.
I just don't know what went wrong. One day, he suddenly wanted to break up because he is 'not ready to commit' and wasn't aware of the seriousness of our relationship - after 2 years, he finally decides he was too young to be in such a serious relationship.
And the worst of all, he never ever said anything about being unhappy with me until the day he broke up with me. He was hiding all his feelings from me, while I was being honest with him all along.
I just don't understand. To me, our love felt real. Like really real. I honestly feel like he is the one, still today after 5 months of being broken up. I still love him, I will always love him. He never did anything bad to me. He treated me like a princess, he was my best friend. We had so many good laughs and memories together. We were practically married. We were so comfortable with each other. Every one of our friends thought we were going to actually get married and when they heard that we broke up - they thought that I was the one who did it, but incidentally it was the other way around.
Every one thought he would never leave me, that he was so in love with me. And I thought so too, and I felt secure with him because I thought he was one of those rare guys who actually stays committed in a relationship. But I guess I was wrong.
It's just so hard, I'm trying to let go. But I think about him everyday, he was the only happiness in my life. Now I'm trying to find my own happiness, and I have managed. But nothing makes me as happy as he did. I loved him more than anything, more than my family. I know it was wrong of me, but it was true. He was my first priority and I was his. I never treated him badly, I never cheated on him, or anything. I loved him with my whole heart and soul and this is what I get in return? A broken heart.
I just wonder if he ever thinks about me. I wonder if he misses me.
Oh and we don't speak. Well atleast, he doesn't talk to me. From what I have heard is that he hates me because he realized that he missed out on life because of me ('life' referring to parties and drinking and what not). So he hates me because he didn't get to experience life the way he wanted to. Which is stupid because he knew what kind of relationship he was getting into since day 1. It took him two years to realize that he was missing out on life? We weren't missing out on life, I mean we didn't party like the way he does. Instead, we went on dates to new places every weekend. We had movie nights, dinner dates, etc etc. I mean we weren't a boring couple, we were always doing something. But I guess he just want to party and get smashed or something. Well that's what he's doing now from what I've been hearing.
I hope one day he realizes that he messed up, I hope one day he realiZes how wonderful our relationship was. I hope one day we can be friends again. I just miss him so much, and I know it's not good. I feel like I'm missing a part of me. And I know time heals all wounds, it has definitely been a bumpy ride in the last 5 months, some good and some bad times but I try to stay optimistic about the future.
Any advice?

Felix

October 06, 2012 @ (calexico)

Tags: love hurts

This guy sat next to me for the whole school year.... We started talking 1 month the school year ended.. he had a girlfried and 6 months before i experianced my first brake up of a year and 4 months i had come a long way and when we started talking i started to have a little crush ge graduated from highschool anf on the summer going to my senior year he dumped his girlfriend and dated me... He broke up with me for no reason.... Then one day he came to my house hold my hand and we had sex then he told me he dident wanted a gf.. a cried alot i felt used then he ask for a second chance and i gaved it to him we were fine but this girl came along.. he made a new friendv in college that girl is 3 years older than him and she has a baby they would send msg back and forth every day and when i confront him he said she was just a friend... One day his facebook was logged on and i read msgs he has with her ... Where he said i was a drama with an attitude.. that he was a pro at sex since a young age.... That the neighbores knew his name because they would hear me screme when we were having sex... The girl said her homework was hard and that he should go to her house abd help her.. she gaved him her adress and he ask for her number.. that where the msgs end i they kept texting trough phone messages... I cried alot i felt used embarrased he insulted me i broke up with him.... He wanted to meet up and talk about it he said he never cheated but i never gave him a chance to explain himself because those msg were his own words and nothing he would of said could changed the facts in 17 homefully i find my soul mate and hot guys that play with my heart

Rogue

September 25, 2012 @ (ontario canada)

Tags: heartbroken, deserved it

Our love stories begins in September 2010. How fitting it ends now.

I will be honest and tell you that I didn't deserve his love the first year we were together and if I could find a way to take that time back. I would. A bit of history - he is 10 years younger than I (I am female). Although our maturity levels were in sync age (until recently) was never an issue. (It was something that troubled me. And because of that created unnecessary stress).

He worked full time, I was in school full time and worked two part time jobs. I have two children. One was 11 at the time the other 16. I had made the decision prior to even meeting him that I wasn't going to just introduce my kids to just anybody. I needed to know he was going to stick around. I didn't want to be one of those parents who bring partners in and out of their childrens lives. One year I told him when we met. I would introduce him after one year.

My family and friends disaproved of our relationship because it was interacial and because he was so young. I fell under the pressure. And ended it in December 2010. It didn't last long. We both loved each other and to end a relationship for others seemed wrong. Yet I always put my family and friends needs before his.

He lived 45 min away and was always ready willing and able to see me at the drop of a hat if I was free. Free time was something I didn't have much of and I soon began to resent the fact that all my time was consumed making someone happy, either my family, my children or him. I began to resent how much time he wanted from me.

I felt I had nothing to give in the first place. In May 2011 I noticed there was a girl he worked with that he was msging daily. I confronted him and he deleted her from bbm and facebook immediately no questions asked. The fact that I was uncomfortable made him do it. Why couldn't I do the same for him. I had a 20yr friend who made him uncomfortable and rightly so but I didn't do the same for him and he didn't push me. I know it hurt him.

I chose soding the back yard with family on a night we should have been together because my obligation to family was stronger to my obligation to him.

I could list several situations where this was the case. All of which now, I regret.

In july he lost his job. Money became tight and I found myself frustrated at the fact that he was playing video games all day while I worked my butt off just to make ends meet.

When september came time to meet the children my son had a death in his class, then his aunt was diagnosed with cancer and died shortly after. Excuses I know. But I wanted my son to be in a good spot prior to meeting him.

In december, he still had not met my son, still didn't work, was borrowing $$ from friends family and me who didn't have any to begin with. I ended things again.

Naturally we ended up back together in januay. But this time roles had switched. I realized how much I loved him and wanted to be with him and I was ready to share my life with him. Every aspect. The things I hesitated doing before I did without hesitation including getting rid of that 20yr friend. But now, he was distant. He was reserved. He was worried. I tried everything I could to make up for the wrongs that I had done.

The things he requested were unreasonable we both know it but I did it. Some of the things he asked me to do I am so ashamed that I did. Most, I will never tell a living soul because I am so disapointed in myself.

I hadn't seen him in 6 weeks. We hadn't slept together in 3 months, he was refusing to meet my kids still. Then on friday when I was supposed to spend the weekend at his house, he sent me a bbm msg while I was at work I am a manager of an employee and it was his first day. He didn't even give me a chance to respond before he deleted me on bbm. Blocked my emails and my phone number and I haven't heard from him since.

Why is it I love him so. Why is it I can forgive him anything now, but that first year we were together I couldn't give him what he deserved!

Lauren

August 22, 2012 @ (Maryland)

Tags: (highschool, religion)

So it was a nine month relationship. We were friends for about a year before. We finally decided to hook up the week of homecoming. But it turned out to be something a lot more. He asked me out at the homecoming game. Since then we've been together and in love. I helped him through so much. His parents fight constantly, he was adopted, he has self worth issue but so do I. We helped each other out. We were happy together and we promised each other to stay forever. We thought we were going to get married. We thought we had so much time. We even lost our virginity to one another.
So he went to church camp for a week about a month ago. He came back wanting a break. No explanation, no answers, no nothing. He changed completely. He always used to say that he believed in God but not in religion. Now he's a legit conservative Catholic. He says "Sex is bad." He thinks he has to break up with me because of his religion. The experience at camp changed him. It's like my old guy is there but he's not. Like he's asleep and soon he's going to wake up and have no one. He thinks the world is a perfect place where only nice people exist because that's how it was at camp.
I don't know how to get through to him. But all he says now is 'idk'. Ten months and he's willing to throw it all away... I get the feeling he isn't telling me something. I'm so fed up with guys being assholes. He was different though.

Alex B.

July 09, 2012 @ (New york)

Tags: cheating?

Alright so where do I start.. We met at work, the girl I'm dating now, and we've been together for about 2 years now. I am 20 and she is 18. I guess I'm writing this because I'm confused and I need to get this off my chest.
Since we have started dating she has texted and messaged every guy at our club (over 20+). Now this would not have bothered me if she had not been writing to them nasty messages like she wants their dick or wants to show them a "good time".
I found all this because I felt that something wasn't right and everyone at our club would tell me that I'm too good for her and she doesn't deserve me.
Well long story short I confronted her about this and at first she denied it up until I showed her proof.. So she started to cry.. A lot.. and apologized and kept assuring me that nothing ever happened.. She said she needed to do all this to feel like she has "power". At first I didn't understand until she explained to me that as a child she was sexually abused by a close friend of the family. In the end she kept reassuring me that nothing happened sexually with the people at our club. So I believed her.
I have always been faithful and true to her because she is my first. But once I found all that was going on behind my back, the trust I had for her is broken.. I try but I can't seem to trust her anymore. But she keeps promising me that she will never do this again because she doesn't want to loose me.
We have talked about living together, getting married and having kids but.. A part of me doesn't want that anymore.. Because I feel like it will happen again. I don't want to waste my time with someone who will not be faithful and give it her all in the relationship.
I don't know whether I should stay with her or break up. The reason I'm contemplating is because she is going to be moving across states from me to live a "stress free" life for a couple of months. And I can understand why... her family treats her like a maid or nanny and doesn't really acknowledges her as part of there family, and they don't really approve of us being together. Things are basically not going her way. I just feel that she will mess up and cheat on me. I don't want that to happen. I can't go with her because my work is here.
So what do you guys think I should do? I need advise. I am really lost.

Tammy

June 18, 2012 @ (california)

Tags: Confused, heartbroken

we met in freshman year of high school he had a crush on each other and somehow nothing ever happened. we had always crossed paths but once again nothing ever happened. we are now both 20 and in a serious relationship. before we were official we dated for a while, one night i went out with my girlfriends i got super drunk i have no recollection of anything. he took me in that night and took care of me. that day we called one of my girlfriends asking her if i had done anything stupid she said no. we both sighed of relief. this happened about five months ago we were just dating. a few days ago i recieved a text from my friend say that i did hook up with someone and that something was put i drink. i automatically freaked out and told my boyfriend. the only thing he responded to me with was a "just leave im done". something didnt feel so right so i called my friend and asked her what the heck was up with the text, she had no idea what i was talking about. turns out i did absolutley nothing like i knew i did and her brother pulled a prank on me. i told my boyfriend but he still does not want to be with me. after i did absolutely nothing. what should i do? ANYTHING HELPS!! I'M REALLY BROKEN INSIDE AND HURTING ENDLESSLY. I WANT NOTHING MORE THAN TO BE WITH HIM AGAIN

Michelle

June 03, 2012 @ (Provo, Utah)

Tags: Breakup, Friendship, Gay Best Friend

This isn't abnormal breakup story. This is a friendship breakup story. But I was in love and it hurts like hell.

About a year ago I started the job I'm currently at and I met someone there that I instantly knew was an amazing person and someone I was meant to be friends with. Well we did become friends, best friends in fact. Now would be a good time to mention he's gay. Anyways for the last 9 months he was a big if not the biggest part of my life. We did almost everything together. We would text all day every day. We didn't go more then a few days without seeing each other and most of my plans included him or were made around him. He soon became my everything. I didn't care he was engaged. He gave me the love and attention I so desperately craved. And I slowly started to fall in love with how he treated me and then I fell in love with him. But I tried hard to keep my feelings in check. And we had boundaries that helped with that.

Well at the end of February we went to visit our friend at college about 3 hours away. He is also gay. Well late that night things got weird. There was a 3 way kiss. And then there was cuddling, touching, scissoring, and just crazy awkward stuff. But I also enjoyed it because I loved my one friend and I wanted him to be in love with me. But there was a part of me that felt like I was included to prevent me from getting jealous and crazy. I also knew our relationship would never be the same because so many boundaries had been crossed.

Then 2 weeks later that same friend from college came to visit. And I decided I needed a break because I felt to attached to both of them. I also felt like my best friend had feelings for our mutual friend. But he assured me that he didn't. They both talked me out of taking a break and we decided to have a big party with alcohol at my bffs apartment. I knew this was not a good idea and bad things were going to happen but I secretly hoped that with enough alcohol in both of us something might happen. Well everyone got drunk. We ended up making out. But he made out with everyone. It was like a mini orgy. I was physically and emotionally sick. It couldn't be undone and my feelings were stronger but I also knew he didn't feel the same.

The next morning I found out he had lied to me and he actually had feelings for our friend. And that our friend had pretended to have feelings back. When I confronted him he to me said he was embarrassed and thought I'd freak out. His feelings for him confused him. And then he said my feelings for you sometimes confuse me. Something I believed and actually gave me a spark of hope.

From the time of the party on nothing was really the same. We fought often. I couldn't forgive him for lying to me. And my feelings for him were stronger then ever. Being around him gave me such happiness but also brought me agony. I was in love but he was never going to be in love with me. But I couldn't accept his love and friendship. I just wanted more. I pushed and pushed. I expected way too much. I told him every chance I got about my feelings for him. I to him those feelings brought me pain. I was suicidal. I was mean. I was angry. I did all of this to push him away and prove that he would walk away. Even though he said he never would.

About 3 weeks ago we got in a huge fight and I guess he had, had enough. He said even if i was a boy or if he was straight he wouldn't be in love with me. That all the nice things he told me around the time i found out he lied about our friend were actually more lies. That most of what he did day to day was out of guilt and to keep me alive. He told me he couldn't handle me and all that went along with me. He was done.

I was crushed and devastated! He was my whole world. My best friend and the guy I was in love with. It was like the one person I trusted the most ripped out my heart and shredded it. The pain was/is unbearable.

Now that said I realize that our relationship was unhealthy and things needed to change. I knew maybe a break was needed to. But I never expected him to walk away. I would NEVER walk away form him or any of my friends.

So like I said this is a different break up story but a break up story nonetheless.

Linda

June 01, 2012 @ (Canada)

Tags: break up cheating car crash

It's been a year since he left and I don't know if I'll ever get over him...
We met during college and didn't start dating till we graduated
We dated for 2 years and although we had our ups and downs, I loved being with him every second of the day
But during one time in our relationship, he cheated on me with my best friend
I found out that he was cheating on me and broke up with him straight away, although I didn't know who the girl was at the time
He kept begging me to take him back but I kept refusing until I realised that I actually missed him a lot
So, I went back with him again
A few weeks later, I found out that the girl he was cheating on with me was my BEST FRIEND
After finding out, I was so hurt and decided to break it off with him once and for all, I wanted nothing to do with him anymore, nor my best friend aswell...
So, I lost two important people at the same time
A year or so later, I bumped into him again and we started talking and eventually just became friends
Although, I kept contemplating on whether or not I should forgive him, because I knew that deep down inside he knew what he had done was wrong, and wanted me back because he still loved me, but he wanted me to be happy so he never asked for reconciliation
But truth is, was that deep down inside my heart, I still loved him, but I was scared of getting hurt again
One night while laying in bed, his parents called me to notify me that he suddenly got into a car crash
I rushed to the hospital and prayed so hard that he was going to be okay, because I wanted to tell him that I already forgave him and was ready start fresh with him, but it was too late...
It's been one year since he's gone and till this day, i still regret not forgiving him earlier, I still regret not taking him back, I feel as though I didn't let him leave this world peacefully...