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Broken (part 4)

April 21, 2015 @ (toronto)

Three weeks into my still ongoing vacation i get a call from a friend. Says he wasn't in paris with his friends for new years but with his so called ex-wife who is not an ex wife and never was. I feel a flutter of wrongs come back into my stomach. I feel a volcano of emotions. But most of all i feel like puking I puke out everything, the lies, the emotions, the hurt, the champagne, the empty promises, the real promises? I don't know at this point but i keep puking and then i cry. I cry for the lies he has told me and i cry for the two hearts i broke because of him. I cry for the man i let go and i cry for the mistake i have made. I cry for lying to myself and ignoring all the red signs, i cry for believing him, and mostly i cry because i can't and won't let him go. I call him i break up with him. He doesn't run after me and won't run after me. I block him and then unblock him i do this for the next 3 months. once i unblock him i hurl insults at him through Facebook, text messaging, voice messaging. I feel empty so i block him again. I do it again and this time we go back to saying i love yous but then the anger rises in me and i hurl my insult my pain at a screen. So i block him again. I unblock him and so it begins a cycle. I laugh sometimes. My friends stare at me. They used to call me the ice queen now i am the melting queen. I have break downs and melt downs. I can't hurl my anger at him so i hurl it at them whenever they'r ehappy i do it when they're down i do it when they're sad i do it. I don't know myself. The last time i blocked him was 7 days ago today i say its done its over. But deep down i don't know if it is. I love him as a child loves its favourite blanket or as mother loves her unborn child. I love him as if he were the beat of my heart and soul. I feel a physical pain when i see a flash of his smile in my head. I miss him so much that its physically painful to breath. I tell myself it is better to have loved and lost then to have felt no love at all. Then i google and try to find who said that quote and i then i want to find them and murder them. I want to see if they really have loved and lost because anyone who has truly loved. As in loved with their entire soul and finally understood what i would die for you would never ever ever say such a fucking stupid quote. So i go online and i try to find sad break up stories. I find this website but all the stories are about 18 year olds whom portably thing they have found true love. And i think to myself they are only 18 and they don't know what love means. But then i look at myself and i remember i was 18 and i knew love and look where that love has brought me. Which really is nowhere.

Broken (part 2)

April 21, 2015 @ (toronto)

Tags: bad breakup

I dress up the day of his arrival and go pick him up. As I am driving by i see him waiting on the other side. I honk my horn but he doesn't see me. As i get out of my car and walk towards him everything suddenly hits me. The way i felt about him, the way the world stops around you, the reason you finally understand all those cheesy movies, and stupid love songs. The way the world looks. The colours more intense, the sky is bluer, the grass is greener the air is fresher you heart is beating faster. You have this adrenaline rush like its monday morning and you've already dawned 8 cups of coffee. I run to him this time too and hug him. I ask him about his life, his wife, his two kids. He says he married too fast, he loves his kid he hates his wife. She is a nightmare he says. A nightmare i think with pretty blue eyes.

Layla

April 19, 2015 @ (LA)

Tags: Bad break up

So, I had this boyfriend in high school. He met me through social media and he went to my school but I've never seen him around. He messaged me and he was messaging a bunch of other girls that he was also interested in. But when we were texting, he didn't reply for a week. And I had an awful gut feeling about him, idk why. But I was a fool for not listening to it. Anyways, after that week, he finally messaged me and he continued for a while. Then he asked me out on a date. Boy was I excited. My first date. We went to the movies and he bought my ticket already. It was sweet. Then after a month he asked me to be his girlfriend. I said yes and things were well. The problem was, he lied to me about everything. Which caused me to always be sad. He would still follow girls that he used to have feelings for. I politely asked a bunch of times and gave him hints it bothered me. And he knew it. I mean, I appreciated all the dates and flowers. We were together for 7 months. I gave him me. He gave me him. We were in love. But little did I know, he wasn't. It was hard dating someone who would stare at girls for 15 minutes when you would go on dates. I wished he looked at me the way he looked at them. And of course I wasn't perfect, but I did EVERYTHING for him. All I wanted was to make him smile. At the end of the relationship, he followed back 7 girls and I was furious. I was at practice and saw and I just almost clasped. I knew things were going down hill. Then the day of the break up he comes to my house and he claims to be a gentleman he honked at me to come outside. Then he brings me to a park and writes a list of things that he thought was wrong with me. Example on the list "playing games" I asked for 1 thing, stop following girls he used to like and stop lying to me. I knew he was lying about everything. And 1 girl I knew he really liked. Which was hard. So anyways, he told me I was immature and I'm always sad. I'm always sad because my boyfriend wants other girls. But truthfully it wasn't worth it to fight about it. So I just said he was right. And he asked me to prom then he just ripped it away from me. First he said "I want you to still think if you wanna go to prom with me" then to " I need time to think" then to "I can't do this anymore" he is a compulsive liar. And seeing him follow girls and not respecting my wishes hurt. Because I cared more than anything for this guy. I just wanted to make him smile. I would leave little treats in his locker and write him notes. But I was too nice, and he was really cocky. Like one time he told me "appreantly the whole cheerleading team likes me" and he just was rude. The way he ended the relationship was not what a true gentleman would do. Which he claims to be. I don't care how many flowers you get me, if you lie and constantly want other girls, and don't respect my wishes. You shouldn't be here. Then, 2 days after we broke up, he was already talking to a girl. Seeing prom pics was hard but I'm getting over the whole situation and I'm a better person because of it. Karma is a bitch, and it will hit him. Because I wasn't the prettiest or the smartest, but I swear I loved him more than any girl would ever. So ya, just know loves things get better.â¤ï¸ðŸ˜Š

SU

April 17, 2015 @ (US)

Tags: Bad Break Up

An Open Letter To My Ex Boyfriend â€“ â€˜Thank You For Leaving Meâ€™
Hey, Ex-Babe!

Remember me?

It wasnâ€™t long ago when we were planning our future together, fantasizing about our honeymoon, naming our future kidsâ€¦ You promised me forever and I promised you my eternal love! You treated me like a princess, showered love unconditionally, cared for me, stood by me, stood for me and made me feel like I was the luckiest girl alive on this planet. It was almost like I was under a spellâ€¦ a beautiful spell of your enchanting words, spontaneity and steaming romance. Your words... they still echo in my mind and leave me speechless for hours. I never believed in love, you made me a believer.

Remember, how I started giving up everything you dislikedâ€¦ late night study plans, 9-5 job, even talking to my closest friends. Remember, how my whole life started revolving around you and I started being there for you ALL THE TIME! I donâ€™t know when you became the most important person in my life and when to make you happy became the sole reason of my existence.

Our little world was sweet but full of hurdles. I always thought our love was enough to pave our way through our struggles, but I was wrong. You failed the biggest test of our relationship... you caved when our relationship needed you to take the most dreaded step. Instead of making efforts to make things right for us, you left, without any warningâ€¦

Read More: http://goo.gl/IfdL10

Sara

April 17, 2015 @ (Canada)

Tags: bad breakup

My boyfriend broke up with me about a month ago, everything was going so great, I never felt this happy before, he made me feel like a princess and I know that he truly cared. We have been together for a year and a half, we have had problems, but nothing really major, it was often the same problems again and again, but I thought that we had so much more good times than bad ones and from my point of view, the relationship was going just fine. Well, aparently not, he did not told me a specific reason for the breakup, he just told me that he felt their was a distance between us now, that it was not like it used to be, that we loved less that he did. And i was just so confused, I did not get it and none of my friends or family members neither. They just could not understand, just like me. My friends and family loved him. We promised that we will be friends, but soon realised that we needed some time off first. So we tried to stop talking to each others, but we failed, it's been a month and we talk at least once a week. He tells that he misses me all the time and I miss him so much too, I can't stop thinking about him. And I know that if we ever get back together, we could make this work. I asked him to take and break, he said he did not want to, I asked him if we took some time off and try this again in a few months, we frist said ok, but then said no,that he did not want me in his life anymore, yet he tells that he misses me... I just do not get and I am so confused. I am juste sitting there, hoping he will come at my door tomorrow and ask me to get back together, knowing it will never happen. Never knew something could hurt so much.

Ryan

April 16, 2015 @ (United States)

Tags: Bad Breakup

Exactly a year ago I met someone special, the moment I set my eyes on her I knew she was something of one of a kind, I was a typical high school student and she was as well. It took me a month before I worked the courage to speak to her and my gut was right, she was the most beautiful person I have ever met. She was weird and quirky and funny and stupidly silly. The school year ended and thats when it started to get serious. We spent our summer together and did many things, she taught me how to swim(because I never trusted anyone around water due to my hydrophobia) and we went on vacation together(her parents payed for my trip lol) It was honestly one of the happiest times of my life. We barely fought and if we did we made up each time like it was nothing and moved on with our days. I grew blinded by my affection soon after, I loved this girl and I was terrified to admit it. Soon after the next school year started, I could feel the distance happening. Which caused me to become jealous, scared, etc I was panicking and didn't know what to do. I could see it coming and it did. She broke up with me, telling me she didn't want a relationship right now blah blah blah. I crashed and burned, I was so devastated that I just wanted to hurt myself(of course I didn't) she then led me on for a few months, would kiss me, try and comfort me when I was down, she even came over to my house and slept with me, but in the end she would always use that excuse and it pushed me even further down... causing me to push her even further away without realizing it... Ever sense then I've just been realizing what I did wrong and been bettering myself, dating new people most guys would say my life has been pretty great for some of the girls that are chasing me.. but all I can continue to think about is her. The one that got away. That all I can do is pray because I knew her reason of leaving me was complete crap, especially since she's with someone else now. I just wish her the best while I sit and wish I had the best. She's still deep in my heart and I see people hating on their ex and everything, but even though she did me wrong I can't help but wish she has the best for her. I just know that if I was with her now, things would have been much different and she'd still be mine, but that's my new found confidence that I will hope to be able to use with someone of the same or better amount to offer... I've learned a lot and even though I still am upset about her, maybe we're better off. Or maybe it was the bad timing, I'm now 18 and i'm still young. Life ahead of me is something to shine about.

AZ

April 11, 2015 @ (United States)

Tags: first Love, First break up, second chance, back together

My story might be a little different, but still the same feelings, the same pain. I am a guy and i fell in love with another guy this was my first relationship with a guy. We met in March of 2014 everything was great from day one. We met at a parking lot at the willowbrook mall in Houston, TX. We were great together, we wouldn't go 24hrs without texting each other. He told me from the begining he was scared of getting hurt and wanted to take everything slow, he said he had moved too fast before and only ended up getting hurt. He didnt want to make the same mistake this time. We never became an official couple, but we were officially dating. He told me what he was feeling was getting stronger and it was freaking him and he didnt want to lose me. We went on a few road trips, Marfa, TX Austin, San Antonio it was great. We used to see each other a few times per week almost a year later we started seeing each other less and less, he put this big distance between us i didnt know why and it was killing me. In October I decided to ask him to take it to the next step, he straight out said no, he didnt want to get hurt or move to fast. I told him i would wait for him. We kept hanging out, things were ok I was already in love, but i was also scared. so in March i finally decided to put the fear aside and tell him i fell in love with him and that i love him so at least he knew how i feel, i didnt want to pressure him. When i told him he probably freaked out, he was more quite than usual. I started feeling sad, i didnt want to lose him. I told him to tell me if he wasnt interested anymore or didnt want to continue dating. He said he was just figuring out himself. On March 18th saw him again and it was the last time i saw him, i texted him he didnt reply at that moment i thought he was ignoring me, avoiding me, he texted me back he said he wasnt. I felt he didnt want to talk to me or hang out anymore it was killing me i didnt know if i did anything wrong, he told me there was not a thing wrong with me that it was all him and he wasnt ready. i told him i had faith we will end up together i had hope he would shop up at my door and tell me he wanted to give it a chance. He said maybe someday, he wasnt ready yet, but he wasnt going to disappear or quit talking to me. That was his last text. He completely ignored me, I didnt know why, i didnt know what happened or what i did wrong. I still havent gotten a text from him. I did everything i could to be together. This is the first time I was in a relationship with a guy, I never thought i could love someone, i never thought i could love a guy this much. I accepted all these feelings, I was ready to tell my family if i had to. Its almost two weeks since he ignored me, his silence is killing me, he didnt give me the gift of closure. I dont know what hurts more to feel that i lost him, to have accepted all these emotions or to be ignored and i dont know why or what happened or if i didnt anything wrong. This is the first time i feel this, the first time i suffer for someone. This is the first time i love someone and it was a guy. And the worse thing is that i still have hope that he will show up at my door, i hope he is just figuring out himself to finally be ready and start something with me. He will be ready someday, he will give someone a chance, i wish that someone was me, i wish it was me the one to make him happy. I love him, he will always be my white guy, the one who brought light into my life.

Bubby

April 10, 2015 @ (vijayawada)

Tags: Love, break-up, back together.

Most people who have broken up with their partners, have tried to get back together. Whether from fear, whether from frustration of meeting someone new, I cannot say.
I have broken up with women and after some time - a week, a month - we have tried again. Itâ€™s funny how we always tell ourselves: "I will not do it again." We promise a lot of things, but there always comes a time that the old problems, in most cases unresolved or misunderstood, emerge again.
A person comes in the life of another in order to learn from one another. The breakups happen in order to teach the partners something. If "the beloved ones" do not pay attention to this life lesson, they will surely make exactly the same mistakes in the next relationships. The most common problem, I think, is that people wear a mask. You liked the external first and then looked inside the shell. Fallen in love. But to keep the attention of your loved one youâ€™ve been doing things that in some cases, they did not like. You wear a mask, just to prove yourself you are good enough for them.
So the two lovers begin to live life together in a lie.
From my experience I would say that in a relationship, including my own, one of the partners loves the other one more. One always feels ignored by the other. You are going restaurants, theaters, film screenings, etc.., which you do not want to, but you do just to please your partner. It happens so that there comes a point where you forget who you are. You no longer go out with your friends, stay away from things that youâ€™ve previously enjoyed and activities which made you say things like: "No one can make me stop playing on Saturdays..!"
But why does it happen so? Most likely you've been so in love with the person next to you that you were ready to do everything for him.
So youâ€™ve got that person in your life. Youâ€™ve achieved your target by wearing the fake mask. Now what? Time passes and you start to thing youâ€™ve made some wrong decisions. Now your friends do not call. You are deadlock. And you wonder how it came to here.
Even your mates can feel that things are wrong. You argue and quarrel very often but both donâ€™t have the courage to admit what the real problem is. Namely, both have forgotten who you are. In order not to quarrel for "trifles", you put aside your interests to try make your relationship better. Now, you both stay at home, doing some nasty things, monotonous, you do not feel but only satisfy your needs.
And there comes a point where you say: "I cannot go on like this!â€. You split with mixed feelings, without even thinking. No longer want to see the other person and you say that true love is there only in the movies. You close yourself to others.
But a month passes and you begin to feel the need to satisfy "needs." You start meeting with different people. You say to yourself, "Life is life!" Clubs, bars, restaurants, cool promiscuity. You feel the euphoria and cannot stop. The effect wears off quickly...
You meet new girl in the college or in the streets. She is the personification of everything you dreamed of. And fall in loveâ€¦ And history repeats itself...!
MY ADVICE..!
Stop thinking so much! Be yourself! As much as you like a person, above all love yourself! No, do not be selfish, but do not forget yourself. If a person does not feel happy inside, he cannot be really happy. If people could be paused in their hectic life for a moment and asked what they really love to do, to follow and achieve their childhood dreams, the world would be a wonderful place. Be the Change...!!!

Lisa

April 09, 2015 @ (east coast)

Tags: breakup, scared

I thought everything was going fine in our relationship. However, I knew deep down there was an uphill battle because of our circumstances. We were both working full time, going to school and have other activities. However, I had faith in love and our relationship. He did not- he had stopped communicating with me about where he was at. We were supposed to go to several activities on Saturday that he really wanted to do and I as well. I was making a conscious effort be more social with him. He showed up at my house and I immediately knew something was wrong. Even though the night before was fine and 2 nights before he had invited me to go with him to a family event. When he walked through my door he told me he couldn't do it any longer. That there was a block within him and he had been struggling with it for some time. Also, that he didn't want to do a long distance relationship and he would be moving in a few months across the country. I was pretty shocked and cold to him. I was able to kindly express my disbelief and disappointment, but I wished I could have been warmer. I asked him to take his things and to throw mine out. The next day I sent him an email letting him know I was going to give him money for part of the tv he had bought me and sent him a nice note saying goodbye. He had a pretty cold response- which shows really just where he's at. I'm 36 years old and scared of being alone the rest of my life. My faith in real love is wavering and I never thought that would happen to me. Thank you for everyone sharing their stories.

Vincent

April 08, 2015 @ (Croatia)

Tags: Bad breakup, Cruel, Depressive

About 2 years ago I met a girl that at the time I thought was the cutest and funniest girl I have ever met. We met through my brother because he knew her sister really well. She came down to my town for college and we really hooked up at the beginning, and I actually thought she could be the one. We had great time together, we played video games, watched movies, went out, all the classic things. And, I must be honest, I lost my virginity to her, and that first time for me was amasing, she really showed a lot of affection towards me and at the time I was quite a loner and she was practically my first real girlfriend. I did everything for her, just as she did everything she could for me.
The backstory of it all is that I suffer from depression and at the time I took antidepressives at a weekly basis because I was a wreck most of the time. With her I finally felt special,I felt needed and loved, the thing I most desired at the time. While I was with her I stopped taking antidepressives because I didnt need them when I was around her, but I never told her about my condition for I didnt want her to worry about it. After about a year and a half she stopped returning most of my phone calls, she stopped caring about me and she even despised the fact that I loved her. She would say things like, I never show emotions to other people, I am not a girl for long relationships and so on, even though she was the first one to say that she loves me.
One day I went to two funerals that were out of town, one was my cousins and the other a really good friend. I came home feeling really sad and I called her hoping she could make it better. She answered the phone, we talked a bit but she sounded all a bit too distant, I got mad at the fact that she cant give me any support in this, and after a brief fight over the phone, she said we should end it. At the time I actually supported the idea, because I felt no emotions that night, I was an empty shell, but when I laid down in bed I just broke, I cried myself to sleep.
I eventually took all the things I had at her place, and I moved on, the good thing that came out of it is that I dont take medication any more, I broke all contact with her because I felt that is was the change I needed at the time. Anyways, I feel better now, it all happened about a month ago, and it all seems so distant right now, all I can say for the end, Im happy for the good memories.